Grade Level: 9
Unit: Healthy Communication
Topic: Saying No
Lesson Objective
SWBAT recognize the difference between the four communication styles and identify their
primary means of communication. They will feel comfortable expressing no in a healthy,
respectful way.
Teacher’s Goal for
Self
Language &
Formulas
Normalize that healthy communication is an ongoing process and we can all continue to
develop and grow. Model appropriate communication and active listening.
Passive-Aggressive- kind of a mix of passive and aggressive. People seem calm on the outside
but are acting out of anger in an indirect way. Sometimes because they feel powerless or
resentful. They will often use sarcasm, deny there is a problem, etc.
Assumptions
Expected Problems
Materials
Students will already have a basic understanding of communication.
Some students may be uncomfortable with sharing with the group.
Handout: Communication Style Quiz
Handout: Confident No Skits
Warm-up: 5 min.
Review what students know about communication:
- Nonverbal, verbal communication
- Passive, Aggressive, Assertive
Today we are going to expand on our knowledge of communication and reflect on how we
communicate with our family, friends, and teachers and talk about how we can more
effectively communicate with the people in our lives.
Passive Aggressive- define
Has anyone been passive aggressive to you before? How did they react? How did you
handle it?
Pass out the Communication Style Quiz
 Ask students BEFORE they do the quiz if they think they know what their style is?
 Have students do the quiz
 Was anyone surprised by their results?
 What can you do to be more assertive in your communication style?
o Be direct
o Focus on communicating YOUR needs, ask for what you need
o Make eye contact
o Use an I statement
Now that we’ve learned and talked about our communication styles, we are going to talk
about saying no.
 Brainstorm: What are different ways to say no? (Make a list on the board)
Introduction: 2 min.
Presentation: 15
min.
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o No, no thanks, I don’t know, maybe…. Not sure, etc.
Have you ever been pressured and had to say No? What happened?
Why do people have a hard time saying no?
o It might seem rude and aggressive
o It feels unkind, uncaring or selfish
o Worry that people won’t like you if you say no.
Being assertive means saying no confidently
o Saying no is refusing a request, not rejecting a person
Tips for saying no:
o Be straightforward and honest
Grade Level: 9
Unit: Healthy Communication
Topic: Saying No
o Be brief- you don’t have to give a big explanation
o Don’t apologize
o Remember you have a right to say no
Different kind of no’s:
 Direct no (without any apology).
 Reflecting no: acknowledge the content and feeling of the request and add assertive
refusal eg “I know you want to try the new lunch place, but I can’t go today.”
 Reasoned no: brief and genuine with a short explanation eg. I can’t have lunch today
because I have a meeting.
 Raincheck no: not a definite no, it’s a no for now but a yes in the future, but only if
you genuinely want to meet the request. Eg. I can’t have lunch today but let’s go next
week.
 Broken record no: Repeating the same no statement over and over if the person is
insisting.
Practice: 10 min
Review
Have students get into groups of 3 or 4 and give them a Confident No skit scenario. Each
group will choose one type of no and create a role-play based on their scenario.
1. What does it mean to be passive-aggressive?
2. What is one reason people have a hard time saying no?
3. What are two different kinds of ‘no’s?
Notes:
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