SPRING 2011
Winter 2010
¿¿Q
QUÉ
T
AL
?
UÉ TAL?
¿QUÉ TAL?
Newsletter of LAPA
Latin America Parents Association
New York
Gaming
Marchand
5 more in Spanish
Dance,Event:
art, music
LAPA children
age three
to age
enjoyedexhibitions,
trying outconsome
If your New Year’s Resolutions include brushing
up on from
support
the arts
withtwelve
workshops,
newyour
video
games on
Saturday,
March
5, at 8 on
Bitthe
And
Up Video
Games,
your high school Spanish skills, or helping
child
certs,
etc. They
are located
Upper
West Side
of
St. Mark’s
in Manhattan from 1 p.m. to 4 p.m. Hosted by Joe
learn what might have otherwise beenontheir
native PlaceManhattan.
and Christian
tongue, you are in luck. There are numerous
Spanish Tartaglia, they tried their hand at all kinds of video
games,
shared
their in
own
stories. Everyone took a
instruction programs in the metropolitan area thatwhile
offerparents
Other
programs
the “war”
area include:
breakcombine
from time to• time
to munch on some
pizza.
classes for adults and/or children. Some
www.brightsteps.com
in Manhattan;
Spanish instruction with lessons in cooking, arts, dance,
• www.languageworkshopforchildren.com
music, Latin culture and even yoga.
with locations in Manhattan, Long Island,
If you’re interested in exploring the programs availWestchester and New Jersey;
able, here are a few options:
• www.spanishiw.com (Spanish Immersion
Type to enter text
Workshop) with classes in Long Island
www.spanishallyear.com
and Queens;
• www.lilanguagecenter.com in Suffolk County;
Spanish All Year, located in Westbury, NY, offers
immersion Spanish programs in dancing, cooking and
• www.musicalkids.net with classes on the Upper
East Side; and
art for all ages, from infants thru adults. My family has
been going there for 3 years now. We have taken
• www.holaplaygroup.com with Spanish immersion
classes in yoga, dance, culture and other topics
mommy and me classes, adult language classes,
in Manhattan and Brooklyn.
preschool classes and the summer program (where children "traveled" to different Latin American countries
each week.) Some of you may know of the school from
Low-cost instruction for adults is also widely availLAPA's Culture Nights in 2007 and 2008 where they
able through local adult education programs, as well.
volunteered to provide entertainment for the evening.
My family and I have personally found that our
classes/school offered exposure both to the Spanish
www.musicaparami.com
language as well as Latin culture, thereby offering
multiple benefits.
Música Para Mi is a NYC based program offering music
.
LAPA
Board
Meetings
. might meet the needs for your famclasses in Spanish for children ages 5 months to 3 years.
If these classes
A parent had recently written to the LAPA board that her
ily, do your research and have fun! And please conEvery six to eight weeks, LAPA board members get
At the last meeting, which took place on Friday,
son has been enjoying this program. Most classes are in
sider writing an article for LAPA’s newsletter telling
together to plan upcoming events, discuss issues
February 18, we discussed plans for a parenting event
others about your experience.
Brooklyn, with some in Queens and Manhattan.
facing parents and children, and watch Sparky (the
in Queens, entertainment for Latin Culture Night, the
Please note that LAPA is not endorsing any specifnon-official LAPA mascot) swipe clean almost empty
upcoming edition of ¿Qué Tal?.
ic programs.
www.tallerlatino.org
peanut butter jars. Each and every Board member is
El Taller Latino Americano offers Spanish instruction The meeting also provides a safe place to discuss,
kindly requested to bring their nearly empty peanut
for adults and for children ages 4 to 13 years. They also issues
by about
Theresa
Lacey
Mackay family, issues
being
an adoptive
butter jars to the meeting. The “swiping” adds an
entertainment factor to each meeting.
Bring your family
to LAPA’s first
VIDEO GAME PARTY!
While board members are meeting, the LAPA Board
children have their own event: watching movies,
playing, hanging out. So much so, the children are
quick to ask , “When’s the next LAPA Board
meeting?” because they know it’s their time as well.
"
involving dating, school, racism, bullying, etc.
Somewhere along the way, close friendships develop
among the adults and the children.
Please consider joining the board: It’s a decision you
will never regret
See page 6 for information
PAGE 1
¿QUÉ TAL?
SPRING 2011
WHAT IS THE LATIN AMERICA PARENTS ASSOCIATION (LAPA)?
The Latin America Parents Association (LAPA) is a
not-for-profit organization registered in the State of
New York. LAPA is not an adoption agency. It is an allvolunteer organization of families who have adopted or
who are in the process of adopting children from Latin
America.
Membership in LAPA is open to all those interested in
Latin American adoptions. Yearly dues from June 1 to
May 31 are $50 for both full and associate members.
Full members are those who have adopted; associate
members are those who hope to adopt a Latin American
child.
Our mission is to provide accurate and timely
information as well as support before, during, and after
the adoption process. To accomplish our mission, we
make accessible to our members: a frequently updated
Adoption Source Kit; current information about sources
and conditions within Latin America; networking with
families involved in all phases of the adoption process;
invitations to social, cultural, and educational events;
and participation in international relief programs
throughout Latin America.
Once you join LAPA, you can post questions,
responses, etc., to the list by sending an e-mail to
[email protected]. Any message sent to this e-mail
address will, after being approved by a moderator, will
be sent out to all the other members of the list. In this
way, questions, answers, and information can be rapidly
disseminated to everyone on the list and non-real-time
discussions can be held.
LAPA donates more than 80 percent of the monies
collected through membership due and adoption
information source kits to child-caring institutions in
Latin America.
LAPA
P.O. Box 339–340
Brooklyn, New York 11234
(718) 236-8689 (outgoing messages only
On the Web: http://www.lapa.com
E-mail: [email protected]
______________________________________
LAPA BOARD MEMBERS • 2010–2011
President: Brian Mulligan
"
Vice Presidents: Joan Giurdanella and
Christian Smeets
Treasurer: Cathy Healy-Frosina
Recording Secretary: Lorraine Lepler
Trustees: Jack Lieblein
Trustee: Dorothy Marks
Trustee: Kim Podlinski
Trustee: Andrea Quatrale
WHAT IS ¿QUÉ TAL?
¿Qué Tal? is the official newsletter of
the Latin America parents Association
(LAPA), which is published quarterly.
Submissions and Articles:
Please make sure to include the names
of the child, parent(s), sibling(s), birth
country, date of birth, adoption date, and
any other information you wish to include.
Please send submissions via e-mail to:
[email protected]
Trustee: Joe Tartaglia
Website Manager: Joe Tartaglia
Historian: Ermine Bennette
¿Qué Tal? Designer: María Giuliani
¿Qué Tal? Editor: Joan Giurdanella
"
"
Photographers: María Giuliani, Joan
Giurdanella
Authorization to reprint from ¿Qué Tal?
is granted, except where noted for specific
articles. Please give full credit to author
and ¿Qué Tal?
We would appreciate a copy of the
publication in which our material is
reprinted.
PAGE 2
¿QUÉ TAL?
SPRING 2011
Ask the LAPA Therapists
The LAPA Web site receives e-mails.
Some of the issues brought up in
these e-mails are pertinent to the
entire membership. Two LAPA Board
members, who are practicing
therapists, will select one of the emails and their response will appear
in ¿Qué Tal?
My husband and I went through LAPA
close to nineteen ago to adopt our son "om
Guatemala. He is rea$y having some issues
related to being adopted. I was wondering
there was some type of support group that
you might know of that he could meet
others around his age that have been
adopted. Thank you.
You can find adoptee support groups
in your area by Googling “adoptee
support groups.” There are also plenty
of on-line support groups for
adoptees. And you can always renew
your connection to LAPA. While
adoptions in Latin America are at an
all-time low, we are focusing our
efforts on the needs of adoptive
families and the special needs that
both adoptive parents and adoptees
have. We meet in the metropolitan
New York area for our annual picnic
in September, parenting meetings and
board meetings throughout the year,
and in June for our annual Latin
Culture Night. It is never too late to
reconnect with your original LAPA
roots!
Sometimes an adoptee needs
individual support before they are
able to utilize group support,
especially if they have been
disconnected from the adoption
community for a long time. An
adoption-sensitive therapist may be
able to help your son explore what he
going through at this time. In general,
adolescence is a tumultuous time for
all, the child emerging into adulthood
and the parents that love them. For
our children, adoption related issues
"
that are unresolved can add to the
difficulty.
think about not only how they
are similar and different from
their adoptive parents but also
their birth parents. They wonder
how they can figure out who they
are, what it means to be Latino
(a) , would life have been
different if they stayed with their
birth family, what would be
different about them?
In general, adopted adolescents
encounter six major hurdles:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
The reason for their
adoption. A teen’s mind is filled
with many questions such as:
Why was I given away? Was there
something wrong with me? Did
they give me away because they
did drugs or abused me? What
does this mean about me? Why
couldn't they work things out and
taken care of me?
Missing or difficult
information. Teens may be
asking: What do my birth parents
look like? I don't even have a
picture. When is my real
birthday? Do I have any brothers
or sisters? Did my birth father
care about my birth mother or
was it a one-night stand?
Feeling different from others.
Being adopted creates a sense of
difference from others at a time
when feeling different from peers
is the curse of adolescence. No
other time during development
do people have a stronger need to
fit in. Feelings about differences,
whether due to adoption or racial
or other differences, if not
addressed, can negatively affect a
teen's sense of self-worth and
their connection to their
adoptive family.
Permanence and underlying
issues of loss. Some adopted
teens will go to great lengths
testing their parents’
commitment to them, usually
without awareness of their
motivation. They think, I lost one
set of parents; I can lose another.
Identity. Who am I and where
did I come from? Adopted teens
6.
Loyalty. Many teens experience
guilt related to their frequent
thoughts and feelings about their
birth family. They fear
disapproval of their parents and
are afraid they will upset their
parents by asking questions.
If you'd like to learn more about
how to parent your child through
these hurdles, you can find wonderful
information in the book: Beneath the
Mask: Understanding Adopted Teens by
Debbie Riley. I have found this book
to be a great resource as it is full of
case studies and real-life information
that every parent can understand and
use.
As an adoptive parent, biological
parent, and psychotherapist, I can tell
you that there are differences in
parenting a child by adoption. To
deny that they have special needs that
at some point need addressing is to
live in denial that they were ever
adopted, came from someone else’s
sperm and egg, lived in another place
before they came to you, etc. It is
your child's right to know who they
are, it is your responsibility as their
parent to parent them through this. If
you don't know how or aren’t sure,
that is fine, too.
Read, talk with other adoptive
parents, speak with an adoption
sensitive therapist, give LAPA a call,
or send an e-mail. We are here to
help.
(continued on page 7)
PAGE 3
¿QUÉ TAL?
SPRING 2011
Rocking Horse Ranch Memories,
November 19–21, 2010
"
PAGE 4
¿QUÉ TAL?
SPRING 2011
The weekend before Thanksgiving means
Rocking Horse Ranch Weekend to LAPA
members! From Buffalo to Boston, Glen
Ridge to East Patchogue, LAPA families
travel to Highland Falls. In fact, ten to
fifteen LAPA families have made the
weekend an essential part of their vacation
plans for the past nine years. And for good
reason.
The resort provides activities from
horseback riding (it is a RANCH),
swimming, paddle-boating, miniature golf,
tennis, rock climbing, etc., etc., etc., along
with delicious meals and comfortable
accommodations—all in a safe and secure
atmostphere for kids and adults.
This year, the weekend is scheduled for
November 18–20. Make it a part of your
vacation plan, too!
"
PAGE 5
¿QUÉ TAL?
SPRING 2011
LAPA Kids Donate Hair
Two organizations encourage men, women, and
children to grow, cut, and donate their hair to make
real-hair wigs for people who have lost their hair
because of medical reasons. LAPA Kids have
responded to their pleas.
The following LAPA members have donated their
hair to Locks for Love: Ana Barranco (2010),
Stephanie Maggiore (2009), and Lucy Smeets (2010).
Locks for Love provides hairpieces to financially
disadvantaged children in the United States and
Canada under the age of twenty-one suffering from
any type of medical hair loss. The hairpieces are
provided either free of charge or on a sliding scale
based on financial need.
Pantene Beautiful Lengths provides hairpieces
free of charge to women who have lost their hair
during cancer treatment. The wigs are distributed
through the American Cancer Society.
It takes at least six ponytails to make one
wig. If you would like more information, please
visit the Locks for Love Web site at:
www.locksforlove.org and the Pantene Beautiful
Lengths Web site at http://www.pantene.com/
en-us/beautiful-lengths-cause/Pages/
default.aspx.
Hair must be in a ponytail or braid before it is cut.
For Locks for Love, the minimum contribution is ten
inches, measured tip to tip. Pantene Beautiful Lengths
will accept donations that are eight inches long.
Editor’s Note: LAPA will keep a record of
all the members who have donated their hair
and will continue to report it in the ¿Qué Tal?
Latin Culture Events In and Around New York City
Super Sabado!
El Museo del Barrio
1230 Fifth Avenue (at 104th Street)
New York, New York
212 831-7272
http://www.elmuseo.org
Every third Saturday of the month, from 11 a.m. to 6
p.m., the museum open its doors to everyone
interested in exploring the vibrancy and diversity of
Latino culture. Through free concerts, exhibitions,
gallery tours, art-making workshops, film screenings,
and spoken word recitals, SUPER SABADO!
showcases traditions, cultural expressions, and the
"
Chase Latino Cultural Festival
July 29 to August 8, 2011
Queens Theatre in the Park
Flushing, New York
718 760-0686
http://www.kadmusarts.com/festivals/5918.html
Features music, dance, comedy, spoken word,
film, and family-friendly performances. This
year’s participants hail from Argentina, Chile,
Colombia, Cuba, Ecuador, Guatemala, Mexico,
Peru, Puerto Rico, the United States, and
Venezuela.
PAGE 6
¿QUÉ TAL?
SPRING 2011
Picnic
On September 18, 2010, amid sunny blue skies
and warm weather, LAPA families gathered at
Westbury Friends Society for their annual picnic.
Old and new LAPA members had time to
renew acquaintances and make new ones.
Bubbles the clown added her colorful spin to
the festivities with relay races, tug of war, face
painting, cotton candy, and the like for the
children and adults.
LAPA guests included a young couple who had
volunteered recently at an orphanage in
Bolivia, who shared their experience and
photos with the membership.
The food table was filled with good things to
eat: fried chicken, salad, rolls, fruits, and lots of
delicious desserts.
Though there were some minor issues because
Westbury Friends had double-booked the
grounds for that day, good cheer prevailed and
a good time was had by all.
________________________________________________________________________________________________
Ask the LAPA
Therapists
(continued #om page 3)
Read, talk with other adoptive
parents, speak with an adoption
sensitive therapist, give LAPA a
call, or send an e-mail. We are here
to help.
—Andrea Quatrale
As a LAPA member and a
single-adoptive parent, talking to
other parents in LAPA has been
invaluable. We are an ongoing
source of support for each other
"
and serve as a resource as our
children move through their
developmental challenges and face
issues such as prejudice,
differences, identity, and how
these aspects affect social
exchanges such as friendships and
dating. Even if your son is not
comfortable yet coming to a
LAPA event and needs to go
through a more individual route,
you, yourself, can be helped by
sharing your concerns with other
parents.
—Dorothy Marks
Andrea Quatrale, LCSW-R is a
graduate of Hunter Co$ege School of
Social Work and The Gestalt Center of
Long Island. She is a past president
and current Board member of LAPA.
She maintains a private practice in
East Patchogue, NY where she is also
the mom to John Felipe (Colombia)
and Anna Lynn. She offers "ee
consultations to LAPA members and
can be reached at [email protected]
Dorothy Marks, LCSW, is a graduate
of Columbia School of Social Work
and The Gestalt Center for
Psychotherapy in Manhattan. She is
currently attending the RSP
(Relational Self Psychology) Study
Center. She is a LAPA Board Member
and is practicing as Supervisor and
Therapist at a mental health clinic in
Queens.
PAGE 7
¿QUÉ TAL"
SPRING 2011
Upcoming Events
Parenting Seminar
Friday, April 15
Forest Hills, New York
Be sure to check the
Calendar of Events page
Latin Culture Night
on the LAPA Web site for details!
Saturday, June 5
http://www.lapa.com/Events.cfm
Floral Park, New York
Annual Picnic
Saturday, September TBA
Westbury, New York
Rocking Horse Ranch
November 18–20
LAPA
P.O. Box 339–340
Brooklyn, New York 11234