Special Section: Communicating Effectively - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - . 1 ­
Be an Effective
Listener
Knowing how to really listen to your clients is important
for today's financial services professionals
by Dianne Schilling
L
istening is rarely taught in schools
because educators, along with most
everyone else, assume listening is tanta­
mount to breathing - automatic. But effective
listening is a skill, and, like any other skill,
competency in listening is achieved through
learning and practice.
Listening out loud
A good listener is not just a silent receptacle who
passively receives the thoughts and feelings of
others. To be an effective listener, you must
respond ',''lith verbal and nonverbal cues,that let
the speaker know - actually prove
that you
are listening and understanding. These responses
are called feedback.
Verbal feedback works best when delivered in
the form of brief statements, rather than ques­
tions. Statements allow you to paraphrase and
reflect what you've heard, which often encour­
ages the speaker to elaborate further or delve
more deeply into the topic. Meaningful
exchanges are built on feedback.
In order to accurately feed back a person's
thoughts and feelings, you have to be conscious­
ly,activelyengaged in the process of listening.
Hearing a statement, you create a mental model,
vicariously experiencing what the speaker is
describing.
Effective listening
V\Then listening, face the speaker and maintain
eye contact. You need to remember to be atten­
tive - yet relaxed - and to keep an open mind.
Listen to the words and try to picture what the
speaker is saying.
You may have the urge to interrupt with
questions or answers, but you should be careful
not to impose any solutions while the speaker is
talking. \i\1ait for your client to pause before ask­
ing any clarifYing questions. I also suggest asking
questions only to ensure understanding and to
always avoid asking something that might dis­
rupt the speaker's train of thought.
Though you should be careful not to inter­
rupt the speaker with your thoughts and ques­
tions, giving the speaker regular feedback will let
the person know you are really listening. You
may want to try summarizing your client's
thoughts and feelings. Sometimes, too, simply
saying "uh-huh" or nodding is enough.
You should also mentally screen out any dis­
tractions that might make it hard for you to real­
ly listen to the speaker. For example, try not to
focus on the individual's accent, should he or she
have one, or the mannerisms used while talking.
If you find that you have to listen for long
stretches of time, focus on key words and issues.
Remember, when in doubt about whether to
speak or listen, keep listening. RTT