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From Beowulf to Text Messaging:
Writers and the Digital Age
Lynne Dozier
TCTELA 2014 “Lead the Way”
Corpus Christi, Texas
http://teacherweb.com/Dozier
[email protected]
© Lynne Dozier
TCTELA Conference
January 31, 2014
2
Beowulf to "Texting": Writers in the Digital Age
Objective: Business and academic writing require concise, precise word choice and
focused ideas. Participants will discover "kid-friendly" lessons using concrete nouns and action
verbs that help students edit ‘be” verbs, "write tight" and "show not tell."
“Much of today’s language, especially in “talk” and conversation, lacks distinction
and grace and sounds like loud, unintelligible shouting. Often it forgoes grammar and structure
and makes little effort at achieving style. In other words, some of today’s language looks
a little like the Olde English found in Beowulf…” (The Writer’s Voice: 18 Lessons to Improve
Writing, 209).
What do the following examples have in common?
Hwæt! We Gardena in geardagum,
þeodcyninga, þrym gefrunon,
hu ða æþelingas ellen fremedon.
Oft Scyld Scefing sceaþena þreatum,
5monegum mægþum, meodosetla
ofteah, gsode eorlas.
(Beowulf)
LO, praise of the prowess of peoplekings
of spear-armed Danes, in days long
sped,
we have heard, and what honor the
athelings won! Oft Scyld the
Scefing from squadroned foes,
from many a tribe, the meadbench tore, awing the earls.
(Translated By Frances B. Grummere
http://www.poetryfoundation.org/
poem/180445 )
F2,
YOLO. IC PRW. GMTA . GSOH.
H&K,
MGB
Friends,
You only live once. I see parents
watching. Great minds think alike.
Good salary, own home, sense of
humor. Hugs and kisses,
May God Bless
(Translated by my grandchildren)
#hiphop
#STAAR#TAKS
#Olympics
#goldenglobes#oscars
#final exams
#selfie
#nouns#verbs
© Lynne Dozier
#
#superbowl
#tctelaconference
#problem#solution
TCTELA Conference
January 31, 2014
3
What aspect of language do these examples share?
(Orwell, George. “Part 1, Chapter 4.”
NINETEEN EIGHTY FOUR. 1939).
“On occasion he had even been entrusted with the rectification of The Times leading
articles, which were written entirely in Newspeak. He unrolled the message that he had set
aside earlier. It ran:
times 3.12.83 reporting bb dayorder doubleplusungood refs unpersons rewrite
fullwise upsub antefiling
In Oldspeak (or standard English) this might be rendered:
The reporting of Big Brother's Order for the Day in The Times of December 3rd
1983 is extremely unsatisfactory and makes references to non-existent persons.
Rewrite it in full and submit your draft to higher authority before filing.”
in Just-]
by eecummings
in Justspring
when the world is mudluscious the little
lame balloonman
whistles
far
and wee
and eddieandbill come
running from marbles and
piracies and it's
spring
when the world is puddle-wonderful
the queer
old balloonman whistles
far
and
wee
and bettyandisbel come dancing
from hop-scotch and jump-rope and
it's
spring
and
the
goat-footed
balloonMan
whistles
far
and
wee
BTW :-\ but :-| @wrk
(By the way, frustrated but determined at work)
© Lynne Dozier
TCTELA Conference
January 31, 2014
4
Style and Voice: TAKS vs. STAAR
Which example is stronger? Why?
“They shall go up exceedingly rapidly in the sky like night birds of prey with
magnificent wingspans. They will move quickly and get really tired. When
they walk slowly, they won’t get too tired.”*
”
“They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and grow weary; they will
walk and not feel faint.” **
IOW: Write w/Nouns and Verbs
Only two kinds of words matter: nouns and verbs.
 Adverbs cling to verbs;
 Adjectives clump around nouns.
 Conjunctions and prepositions string these clumps together.
*a young writer who believes “sparkle” words will fill lines on a test
**Isaiah: 40:31 (New Standard Version Bible)
Parts of Speech “Rap” Poem
Nouns name people, places, ideas, things,
like Smith, New York, love and wings.
Pronouns are used in place of nouns:
I think, she sings, they work, he frowns.
Adjectives add something to nouns,
Like old New York and little towns.
And don’t forget that many, few,
numbers and colors are adjectives too.
Verbs come next—the words that tell
of action, being and state as well:
work, become, exist and curb—
each of these is called a verb.
Adverbs add something to the meaning
of adjectives, like brightly gleaming. *
To verbs, they also add a thought,
as when we say, “was nearly caught.’
(The
© Lynne Dozier
And lastly, adverbs have the chore
of making other adverbs tell us more
than one alone could hope to tell,
like “she sang that very well.”
Prepositions show relation,
as with affection, in our nation.
Conjunctions, as their name implies,
are joining words—they are the ties
that bind together day and night,
calm but cold, dull or bright.
Interjections are words that show sudden
emotion as Alas! Hah! Oh!
Thus briefly does this jingle state,
the parts of speech which total eight.
~Anonymous
Writer’s Voice: 18 Lessons to Improve Writing, 26)
TCTELA Conference
January 31, 2014
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How Do Parts of Speech Make Meaning?
Musicians make music with just seven notes; writers have just eight parts of
speech to make meaning in prose and poetry. Use the following activities to help you
arrange parts of speech into short “pattern” poems. Pay close attention to the way the
words look on the page and how they sound—their rhythm—when you read your
poems aloud.
Model—Modern Haiku:
Line 1: 1 ar ticle (a, an, the) + 1 noun + 1 adjective + 1 conjunction + 1 adjective
Line 2: 1 ver b + 1 conjunction + 1 ver b + 1 adver b + 1 noun that r elates to the
first noun
The wrinkle, ancient and shadowy,
Carves and defines immediately a face.
~Lynne Dozier
Your Turn. Use the model above to wr ite a complete sentence about an object in your purse and arrange it on the page to look like a poem. Then edit the adjectives and the adverb. Which version do you like better? Why?
Model—Bio Poem:
Line 1: A Per son’s name
Line 2: 2 adjectives which descr ibe the per son, connected by
coordinate conjunctions (for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so—“fanboys”).
Lines 3, 4, and 5: A phr ase beginning with past or pr esent tense for ms
of verbs that show specific events or activities in the person’s life.
Line 6: A wr ap-up phrase synonymous with the first line.
Abraham Lincoln—
honest and just—
fought a bitter war,
led a broken nation,
lives on through history,
A Man for the Ages.
~Lynne Dozier
Mark Twain—
Sarcastic and satiric—
Poked fun at politics
Created a slave hero
Wrote the first “true” American novel.
A target of book censors.
~Lynne Dozier
Your Turn: Use infor mation fr om your r eading and r esear ch to cr eate
a word portrait—a “Bio-Poem”— that includes facts and details about a real
or fictional person. Use the models above as a guide to help you.
(The
© Lynne Dozier
Writer’s Voice: 18 Lessons to Improve Writing, 26).
TCTELA Conference
January 31, 2014
6
Why Should I Edit Passive “be” Verbs?
Most “struggling” writers display and addiction to using the verb, “be.”
Any form of that “irregular” verb—am, is, was, were, be, being and been—can suck
energy from a sentence and bleed the life out of strong, action verbs.
Dull—It was cold. The sun was behind the grey clouds. There was snow and slush in
the streets. There were hundreds of empty apartments. I was on the street between
the buildings. My shoes were wet with slush. The wind was in my face. There was
furniture outside one of the doors.
Vivid—Life froze. The sun vanished from the death-grey sky, and the streets oozed
with slush and snow. Hundreds of people had moved from their apartments. I
walked down the street between the tenement walls. The slush seeped through my
shoes; the wind scraped my face. A stack of furniture stood in front of a door: a
table, chairs, a washtub packed with dishes and bedclothes.
Use these 4 revision techniques to eliminate “be” verbs:
 Substitute an “action” verb for a passive “be” verb.
Ken was on the driveway. (weak)
Ken stood on the driveway. (stronger)
 Use a conjunction to join adjectives and form an appositive.
Ken is tall and strong and plays tennis. (weak)
Ken, tall and strong, plays tennis. (stronger)
 Substitute simple verb forms for progressive forms.
Ken was hitting the tennis ball. (weak)
Ken hit the tennis ball. (stronger)

Use active voice rather than passive voice verb forms.
The gift was opened by Ken. (weak)
Ken opened the gift. (stronger)
Your Turn: Choose 2-3 of the sentences below and eliminate the “be” verb
by using one of the techniques above.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
The kid was a brat.
The teacher is awesome.
The old house is scary looking.
The meal was awful.
Smith will be tried in court today.
The window was slammed shut by the wind.
The ice and snow was covering the ground.
Poems are short and fun and make me laugh.
(The Writer’s Voice: 18 Lessons to Improve Writing, 26)
© Lynne Dozier
TCTELA Conference
January 31, 2014
7
How Do I “Show Not Tell?”
“Struggling” writers often “pad” their prose with empty adjectives and adverbs.
They often emphasize their own personal responses—feelings and emotions—instead of
explaining an object, person, place or idea.
To write well, writers have to do more than tell; they have to show their readers
by creating pictures for them. Action verbs, direct words and conversation and concrete
details—the facts writers gather through observation, reading and experiences—help
readers understand ideas and explanations more clearly.
Put “flesh” on “bare bones”
of a sentence that “tells” —
Put It All Together—
Revise to “Show. Don’t Tell.”
The dog was mean.
Use Action Verbs. The dog bar ed
his teeth and growled—a low rumble in his
throat.
Insert Conversation and Quotations.
“Don’t open that gate,” my neighbor
warned, “that dog will bite.”
Provide Concrete Details. A small r iver
of saliva formed at the corner of the dog’s
mouth, now drawn into a tight, red line.
A small river of saliva formed at the corner of the dog’s mouth, now drawn into a
tight, red line. The dog bared his teeth
and growled—a low rumble in his throat.
“Don’t open that gate,” my neighbor
warned, “that dog will bite.”
Note: You can change position of sentences in a paragraph, but the explanation remains clear, correct and concise.
Your Turn: Choose one of the sentences fr om the gr oup in the last exer cise and
develop it into a paragraph that shows, creates pictures and explains the topic of the
sentence. Use action verbs, direct words and conversation and quotations, and
concrete details from your observation, reading or experiences. Avoid the pronoun, “I”
as you write to keep the focus on your topic (The W riter’s Voice: 18 Lessons to
Improve Writing, 18).
Beowulf to Orwell to eecummings to Texting
Orwell’s Warning:
“The decline of a language must ultimately have political and economic causes.” He
blamed most of the decline on the “staleness of images” and “the lack of precision” (“Politics and the English Language,” 1946).
Growing Writers in a Digital Age:
“As writers, we have an obligation to use the English language in creative and
inventive ways to continue to make English “new.” However, when writers know the rules
and respect the history of our language, they have something to push around and something to push against; they know which rules to bend and which rules to break. Writers
should measure their use of language by its artfulness, its ability to make meaning, its mastery of rules and its appreciation of the history and traditions” (The Writer’s Voice, 209).
© Lynne Dozier
TCTELA Conference
January 31, 2014