Mark Robert Waldman
Faculty, College of Business, Executive MBA Program
Loyola Marymount University, Los Angeles
_______________________________
Compassionate Communication,
Conflict Resolution,
and your
Brain
A multi-university
training model for
executives, managers,
salespeople, students,
teachers, mediators,
and consultants
THE MOST
WORD IN THE
WORLD
amygdala
The most
POWERFUL word
in your life
UCLA Research:
“Reflecting on
personal values can
keep neuroendocrine
and psychological
responses to stress at
low levels.”
Affirmation of personal values
buffers neuroendocrine and
psychological stress responses.
Creswell JD, et.al.Psychol Sci.
2005 Nov;16(11):846-51.
8 Core Elements of
Effective Communication:
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
Gentle eye contact
Kind facial expression
Warm tone of voice
Body gestures
Relaxed disposition
Slow speech rate
Brevity
The words themselves
“Normal” eye contact makes us
defensive, but keeps us honest
This smile
triggers
neurological
trust…
but how do
you create it?
Evaluating face
trustworthiness: a model
based approach.
Todorov A, Baron SG,
Oosterhof NN.
Soc Cogn Affect Neurosci.
2008 June;
3(2): 119–127.
Compassion:
What is it?
• Emotionally resonating
to another person’s
feelings…
• But you must remain
deeply relaxed
• and intensely focused
• on the other’s face and
tone of voice
Compassion is a nonverbal
form of communication . . .
. . . but it rarely happens
before the age of 30.
The 12 Strategies (plus 1):
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
12.
Relax
Stay Present
Cultivate Inner Silence
Increase Positivity
Reflect on Your Deepest Values
Access a Pleasant Memory
Observe Nonverbal Cues
Express Appreciation
Speak Slowly
Speak Warmly
Speak Briefly
Listen Deeply
And most important: Trust your intuition
Intuition Requires Self Trust
Instinctive Reasoning:
insula and anterior
Cingulate
Cognitive logical
Decision-Making:
middle frontal cortex
and precuneus
Intuition and deliberation: two systems for strategizing in the
brain. Kuo WJ, Sjöström T, Chen YP, Wang YH, Huang CY.
Science. 2009 Apr 24;324(5926):519-22
The 20 Second Rule:
CONSCIOUSNESS = 4 “CHUNKS”
It’s not the
words you
speak…
Mark Robert Waldman
Faculty, College of Business, Executive MBA Program
Loyola Marymount University, Los Angeles
_______________________________
Compassionate Communication,
Conflict Resolution,
and your
Brain
A multi-university
training model for
executives, managers,
salespeople, students,
teachers, mediators,
and consultants
NEURAL
RESONANCE
“Speaker-listener
neural coupling
underlies
successful
communication”
Stephens G, Silbert L, Hasson U.
Proc Natl Acad Sci U S A.
2010 Aug 10
Three
“Value”
words that
can stop a
conflict
before it
begins
The 12 Strategies (plus 1):
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
12.
Relax
Stay Present
Cultivate Inner Silence
Increase Positivity
Reflect on Your Deepest Values
Access a Pleasant Memory
Observe Nonverbal Cues
Express Appreciation
Speak Slowly
Speak Warmly
Speak Briefly
Listen Deeply
And most important: Trust your intuition
“Before
you
speak…”