Masuma Rasheed, Ph.D.
Licensed Professional Counselor
LifeForce Yoga Practitioner®
“Counseling Muslim American
Women with Regard to Domestic
Violence ”
#214-295-8500
www.rasheedphdcounseling.com
What is Domestic Violence?
“You're so sensitive. You're so
emotional. You're defensive. You're
overreacting. Calm down. Relax.
Stop freaking out! You're crazy! I
was just joking, don't you have a
sense of humor? You're so dramatic.
Just get over it already!”
(Ali, 2011)
Domestic Violence
Domestic violence is a
pattern of abusive
behaviors by one (or
both) partners in an
intimate relationship.
It is characterized by
jealousy, coercion,
intimidation, isolation,
and control. It usually
escalates without
intervention.
Physical Abuse
Emotional/verbal
abuse
Sexual abuse
Other (economic
control, stalking,
hurting animals or
children).
How Prevalent is it?
I
I
I
Ethnic
SES
Gender
I
Culture
I
Education
2010– 40 out of 70
2007- Reported 50% of women
What Makes this Population
Unique?
Acculturation
Definition
Acculturation: process in which members of one
cultural group adopt the values and norms of
the dominant culture
(not necessarily behaviors).
(Castillo et al., 2004).
Levels of Acculturation
• Assimilation
• Separation
• Integration
• Marginalization
(Berry, 1993, Found in Abouguendia & Noel, 2001)
Keep in Mind as We Continue
Acculturation
(religious & cultural norms)
affects DV:
• Methods of ‘Power & Control’
from abuser
• Perceptions of DV
• Barriers
• Judicial Relief
Separation &
Integration–
those who abide by
certain shariah
rules and norms of
the culture.
Misinterpretation
Religion
Culture
“Quran (like most holy scriptures) were
deeply affected by the cultural norms
of the society in which it was
revealed– a society that did not
consider women to be equal members
of the tribe”.
(Aslan, 2005; p. 71)
What is the Culture?
What does it mean to be a
Muslim man?
Female: Barriers– Internal
“Core Beliefs”
Minimization/Confusion
• Can’t be an abuser if he follows Islamic
practices & has good standing in
community
Power Differential
Trust in Male Gender
Fear of Unknown/Discrimination
• Developmental Delay in external
interactions with opposite gender.
• Jobs
Female: Barriers– Internal
“Core Beliefs”
(Punitiveness)-- The belief that
people should be harshly punished
for making mistakes.
• I would have not been a victim if
I were a good Muslim.
• I must have provoked him.
Duty
• Uphold family honor
• Don’t reach out
Pressure
• Self– Worth tied to marriage.
• Family- Reputation
Fear
• Ostracized from community
Overview of Distorted Core Beliefs
Regarding Self Resulting from DV
Core Belief 1: I did something to deserve this (Punitiveness)
Why me? What did I do? “The belief that people should be
harshly punished for making mistakes.
Core Belief 2: I am defected; no one will want me again.
Core Belief 3: Others cannot be trusted--I will not marry again.
Core Belief 4: I am not capable of satisfying my partner.
Core Belief 5: I am weak (Have expectations that grief lasts for
3 days in Islam; therefore, feel weak &/or unIslamic when it
lasts longer)
Core Belief 6: I am not worthy if I am not married. (codependence traits)
Feelings Resulting from Distorted Core
Beliefs
Resentment (about waiting for an ideal partner [since no dating])
Lonely (coming from a collective country or culture, they are not used to
residing alone)
Unsupported (either family does not support their decisions to leave [better
to be abused than put shame on the family] or family does not reside in the
same country and client is fearful of burdening them by telling them what is
going on)
Fear (family will want them to marry soon thereafter; commonly to an older
man)
Disappointment (disappointment in self [feel like failures] and/or
disappointment in the process of marriage, people, etc.)
Judged (judging themselves for their decisions and/or feeling judged by
others that it was their fault)
Confused (internal struggle regarding the cultural ‘norms’ that have been
engrained in their mind about their role as women and how this contradicts
their abusive treatment). If I stand up for myself; I am called ‘sick’,
‘uncultured’, ‘shameful’ by friends & family.
Shameful (feel they have shamed their family; they feel tainted in general.)
Unjust (experience partners re-marrying quickly)
Rejected (feel abandoned and rejected emotionally, physically, and
sexually)
Counseling Methods to Challenge
Distorted Core Beliefs
Normalize experiences (DV is NOT okay)
Careful incorporation of autonomy but still preserving the
collective cultural norms.
Empowerment (how can needs be met independently)
Discuss patterns of male relationships throughout their lives
(fathers, uncles, brothers, sons)
• How this has impacted their expectations of men
• How this impacted their role as a wife.
Help process through their perceptions of Islam vs. Culture
(making sense of the confusion)
Psycho-education regarding power & control cycle
Yoga + Counseling Techniques for
Anxiety & Empowerment
LifeForce Yoga
Intentionally designed
to work with elevating
the mood.
Utilizes yoga practices
supported by
evidence-based
research in psychoneurobiology to assist
in clearing away
barriers such as
obstructing beliefs,
emotional limitations,
and tension.
Alternative treatment
and/or a complementary
treatment to medication
for mood elevation.
Through breath work,
body movement, and
meditation
techniques, LifeForce
Yoga® offers a
compassionate approach
to relieving distress.
Calming Cooling Breathing
Practices (Pranayamas)
Center, Calm, Focus
In & Out Nostril
(Diagphramic
breathing).
Alternate Nostril
Breathing
Barriers: Counseling
Past experiences in their own countries may lead to
minimization of DV
Language barriers (counseling transfers poorly with translator)
Avoid disclosing personal and family information
Do not believe in talking about distressful events (what’s the
point)
Individualistic values are inherent in counseling (have to
modify to meet needs)
Female: External Barriers
Lack of knowledge & resources
(legal, social service services,
etc.)
Discrimination by law
enforcement
Impact of 9/11 Attacks
• Fearful of perpetuating the
negative perception of Islam
• More Isolated
• Distrust of the legal system
• Separation of Muslims from
Mainstream
• Fear, caution and suspicion
• More pressure to for image
building
(Abdullah, 2012)
Female: External Barriers
Fear of unknown or feeling
misunderstood by services
who will connect to judicial
resources among others
(dominant culture)
Services misunderstanding
norms of culture (i.e. case
worker & judge in
Michigan)
Husband will take children
(immigrant status,
employment, caretaker [if
re-marry])
Gender Role Expectations
Differential gender
expectations &
responsibilities
• Females: Less freedom,
independence
• Males: Decision-making
provider
(Dasgupta, 1996; Kallivayalil, 2004; Naidoo & Davis, 1988)
“The many faces of gender”
(Gilbert & Scher, 1999)
• Uses of language
“Oh it’s okay, he’s a boy”
“He can do it, he’s a boy”
“Boys can do everything”
“If I had a son, I would treat him like a king”
• Reflects & reinforces assumptions
Cut more slack for men
Men are superior to Women
• Passive language to express women’s experiences
• LEARNED BEHAVIOR
Leads to Characteristics that
Parallel Characteristics of Abuser
Entitlement
Avoid Emotion
Intellectualize
High Achievement
Perfectionism
Lack of Self Identity
(I’m Muslim)
WOMEN
MEN
I’m better & smarter
than females.
I’m stronger & more
powerful than
females.
I can use my power
(finances, status,
gender)
to get what I want.
Men have more
abilities.
They’re special.
They’re more
capable.
I will put their needs
first.
They are more
important than me.
Intimidation vs.
Infatuation
“Because I can”
*Using Power & Privilege*
(Not just in relationships but in
many facets)
Let’s Look at Causes
Unique Struggles
for Muslim Men
Expectations from others (to provide,
excel, be the ‘king’)
Discrimination
Case Studies
Core Beliefs:
“I have no control over my immigration, work
status, etc.”
“I have certain rights/duty due to my gender”
“I have expectations to fulfill”
“I should be perfect”
“If I do not meet up the expectation then I am a
failure”
“Everyone expects me to be the ‘king’ in the
family”
Feelings for Man
• Pressure (Financial, Status in
community, etc.)
• Frustration (with children, raising them
in America [control] & acculturation)
• Loneliness
• Overwhelmed (with responsibility to
control)
Behaviors for Man
• Anger
• Physical Abuse
• Verbal Abuse
• Exert more Power & Control (feel it’s not
a choice to share it; threatened with
identity)
Mother: I love my son.
Andy is 11 months old.
He is a god, and I tell
him so every day.
Miranda: Thirty years from
now, what do you think
the chances are that
some woman's gonna be
able to make Andy
happy?....
I'm gonna go with zero.
Purposes of Marriage
Why do people get married?:
Dominant culture (U.S.)- marry for love
Muslim Clients – marry for compatibility (SES,
religion, family expectations, etc.)
Dominant Culture (U.S.)- date for development
growth purposes
Muslim Clients- purpose to date is to get married
Counseling Implications for Abuser
Behaviors
What does Anger cost you?
(economic, social)
Psychological- not aware of the
health problems of being hostile
(study).
*Specific to the Muslim community*
Counseling Implications for Abuser
Increase selfobservation & selfawareness.
Externalize feelings
of anger.
Understand their
struggles; display
empathy.
Teach them victim
empathy (group,
family therapy).
Teach breath work
in Prayer or other
forms of
connecting
How Can We Help?
Systemic Level
Normalize/Challenge
experiences (DV of any
form is NOT okay) among
ALL individuals.
Educate abusers & Muslim
community
Careful incorporation of
building autonomy yet still
preserving the collective
cultural norms.
How Can We Help Empower?
How can needs be
met independently
Psycho-education
regarding cycle
Social Interest
(encouraging them to
be a contributing
part of society. Helps
with power
differential.
Overview
What?
So What?
Now What?
What?
So What?
Now What?