28
Solving Sentence Problems
turn should be to the right. Then the oncoming car
will hit you in the side. The oncoming car will not
hit you head-on. You might lose control of your car.
Don't worry. Anything is better than this. This is a
head-on crash!
Here's another example. Take a rear-ender. Your
car is going to be hit. The hit is from behind. Take
your foot off the brake. The impact occurs. Slam on
your brake immediately. Keep a firm grip on the
steering wheel. The firm grip lets your arms absorb
some of the shock. The shock is from the impact.
Slouch down. Your head is below the back of the
seat. The back of the seat will give you protection.
This protection will be against whiplash.
You use coordination whenever you connect words,
phrases, or clauses with a coordinating conjunction like
and, but, or, nor, for, so, yet.
Carla and I both had an exhibit at the science fair.
[wordsj
Would you prefer to attenc a concert or to go shopping? [ph""ses]
The cabinet members were seated, but the Pr!me Min!ster
was stili on the .phone with the ambassador. fmain
clauses]
.
You also use coordination whenever you join main
clauses with a semicolon and a connective like however,
therefore, nevertheless, moreover, furthermore.
The forecast was fo r clear weather; however, the
barometer took a sudden dip. [main clauses]
Coordination is an effective way to connect related elements in a sentence. Howllver, if the elements you connect
have no logical relatignship to each other, the result is
faulty coordinati on.
*The movie was terl"!bie, and we stopped fer
terward.
* The asterisk (*) identifies incorrect sentences.
piZZ2
af-
4-Faulty Coordination
29
You can avoid this sort of faulty coordination by making
each clause a separate sentence. Then expand the ideas
introduced by these two sentences into two separate paragraphs.
The movie was terrible. The plot was unbelievable,
and the actors were miscast. Often the music on the
sound track was barely audible ....
We stopped for pizza afte,ward and met some
friends. Even Ellen Portner, who loves musical comedy,
was disappointed ....
Faulty coordination also results when the clauses you
connect are logically related but are of unequal importance.
*rhe footbaii team left the huddle, but the school mascot, a goat, rem out onto the field.
Connecting these two clauses with but-that is, coordinating them-indicates that the ideas they express are equally
important. However, the really important idea is that the
goat ran onto the field. That the team left the huddle is only
incidental information that tells when the goat ran. To avoid
this kind of faulty coordination, put the less important idea
in the form of a subordinate clause beginning with as, if,
when, since, while, because, after, before, or although.
As the football team left the huddle, the school mascot,
a goat, ran out onto the field.
In the following sentence, and is used to connect, or
coordinate, two clauses that are related but are not equally
important :
Joe Simonsen won ~he prcvinciai lottery, and he is a cattle
rancher.
The fact that Mr. Simonsen is a cattle rancher is less
important than the fact that he won the provincial lottery. In
sentences like this one, you can avoid faulty coordination by
putting the less important idea in the form of a subordinate
clause beginning with who, which, or that.
Joe Simonsen, who is
lottery.
2
cattle ranchei,won the provincial
Finally, be careful not to overuse coordination. Don 't, for
example, write a long rambling series of clauses connected
by and's.
30
Solving Sentence Problems
* 1 bought a new bike, and it's a Raleigh, and it's a
ten-speed, and it has hand brakes, and the derailleur
is by Wockenfuss.
To avoid such faulty coord ination, change some of the
clauses into phrases or into s ingle words. If necessary,
brea k the long sentence into two shorter sentences.
I bought a new ten-speed Raleigh bike with hand brakes.
The deraille'Jr is by Wockenfuss .
•u·nctice 1
If the connected elements in each of the following sentences are logically related, write related after the number. If
the connected elements are not logically related, write unrelated to indicate faulty coordination.
1. A Plymouth Fury won the race, but the principal drives
a Volkswagen.
2 . The sun was sh ining, and Friday was Mother's birthday.
3 . We have apples but no oranges.
4. The game is played as scheduled, or season tickets can
be purchased at the bo x office.
5. The heat wave continued, and water rationing became a
reality.
6 . The reunion took place Sunday afternoon ; nevertheless,
the sun rose at 5:49 that morning.
7. Central City was the· fictional name of the town in the
movie ; however, several of the scenes were shot on
location in Toronto.
8. I prefer country and western music, yet Gordon lightfoot
is appearing at the Coliseum.
9 . The tournament was contested over the rolling hills of
Pine River Golf Club, but the concession stands were
charging $1 .00 for a hot dog.
10. Dissent is not disloyalty nor is accusation proof.
-
e)
Rewrite the following sentences, putting the less important idea in the form of a subordinate clause. Begin the
4-Faulty Coordination
31
subordinate clause with as, if, when, since, while, before,
a/though, because, or after.
1. The Member of Parliament rose to speak, and the TV
networks took a station break.
2. I've always liked working outdoors, and I wish I lived on
a farm .
3. The runners were still out on the course, but the
thunderstorm struck.
4. He had to practice his cello, but he could not go to the
ceremony.
5 . Public transit became popular, and gas prices went up.
6. The story begins, and Little Red Riding Hood is preparing a basket of goodies for her grandmother.
7. The first light of dawn brightened the sky, and Angie
and Nick were at the pier ready to go fishing.
B. The train reached the head of the curve, and the engineer spoke to the stationmaster by walkie-talkie.
9 . Lars knows nothing about mechanics, but I fixed the
pump.
10. Farmers' incomes have fallen slightly in this province, and
the farmers are expected to vote heavily for the government's reelection.
I..·m~tice
:~
Rewrite the following sentences, putting the less important
idea in the form of a relative clause. Begin each relative
clause with who, which, or that, whichever is appropriate.
1. Toller Cranston won the Canadian Men's National Figure
Skating Championship six times, and he now has his own
ice show.
2. A new wing has been added to the gym, and this wing
will house handball and squash courts.
3. Neolithic people were prehistoric farmers, and they
made tools out of flint and bone.
4. The book lay on the coffee table, and it was bound in
genuine leather.
5. The mercury stood at 5 below, and that's not bad for January in Yellowknife.
6 . We recently pooled our savings to purchase a Cessna
T-207 , and it has a cruising speed of 176 miles per
hour.
32
Solving Sentence Problems
7 . I Never Promised You a Rose Garden is a sensitive
novel about mental illness, and it was written by Hannah
Green.
8. The coach disagreed, and she believes pep pills impair
an athlete's performance.
9. Ms. Gradowski has a pilot's licence, and she is my math
teacher.
10. Oona's Mustang needs a new fuel pump, but it is up for
sale.
Inom:tice
~I
Rewrite the overcoordinated sentences that follow, changing clauses into phrases or into single words. Where appropriate, break the overcoordinated sentence into two sentences.
1. The committee investigated the agency, and it published
a report, but the report was suppressed, and that was
unfortunate.
2. The meal consisted of beans and onions, and there was
also rice, and coffee and warm milk were mixed and
served afterward.
3. I gave a birthday party, and we pinned the tail on the
donkey, and we fished for prizes, and we had ice-cream
sundaes to eat and cupcakes, too.
4. These shoes are Converse All-Stars, and they have
suede leather uppers, but they are basketball shoes.
5. Mother worked in the garden, and she pulled weeds,
and she thinned the beets, and she dusted the tomato
plants.
6. The doctor inserted one end of a long tube into my
throat, and she attached the other end of the tube to a
machine, and that machine was a vacuum pump.
7 . The columns still stood, but they were gray, and they
were flecked with moss.
8. It was a quiet night, and I sat alone at the kitchen table,
and through the window I could see fireflies winking at
each other.
9. The Little Theatre rehearsed a new play, and it was a
" who-dun-it, " and it was by Agatha Christie, and auditions were open to the public.
4-Faulty Coordina tion
33
10 . I have some new tenn is balls , but they are unpressurized ones, and we are playi ng on clay, so we should
use pressurized balls.
Read the following paragraphs. The numbers in color indicate where sentences have been taken out.
LeRoi Anderson was playing in his first golf tournament. (1) As Anderson approached the number one
tee, there were perhaps fifty spectators waiting idly.
Now to those accustomed to jammed freeways and
packed beaches, fifty people stand ing around a golf
course might seem like a small crowd indeed. To Anderson, however, fifty people were altogether too
many-about forty-eight or forty-nine too many. (2)
Anderson bent stiffly to place a golf ball on a tee.
As he addressed the ball, he waggled his club awkwardly and peeked out at the fairway winding through
the trees.
(3) There was a shocked gasp from the crowd, a
nervous shuffling of feet, then silence. (4) The silence
that followed this gaff was oppressive. Sweating profusely, his upper lip twitching, Anderson prepared to
attack the ball yet a third time. Just then a voice
broke the embarrassed silence :
" Tough course, ain't it, Mac? "
A few hesitant giggles flowed quickly into a burst of
laughter. (5) Then with the tension visibly broken, he
took up his stance, swung smoothly, and stroked the
reluctant ball out into the center of the fairway.
The sentences that follow were removed from the paragraphs. Each sentence contains faulty coordination. Rewrite
each sentence to get rid of the faulty coordination. Make
certain your rewritten sentence will fit smoothly into the
paragraph. As you rewrite each sentence, read it and the
sentences around it aloud to see if it does fit smoothly. If it
doesn 't, try rewriting it a different way.
1. He was a fair golfer, but he was a nervous individual,
and his game frequently fell apart under stress.
Solving Sentence Problems
34
2. They stood lar back Irom the tee, but Anderson could
leel their breath on his back, and their breath was heavy.
3. One hundred eyes were burning holes in him, and Anderson took a mighty swing, and he missed the ball completely.
4. His teeth were clenched, and Anderson readdressed the
ball, and he jerked ttie club back, and he swung, and
again he missed the ball.
5. Anderson stepped back Irom the ball, and he sighed, but
he offered a weak smile.
S
Fm"'y S."mrtlhudittll
You use subordination whenever you connect two clauses
with a subordinating conjunction like because, since, before,
although. Because the clause that begins with the conjunction usually expresses the idea 01 lesser importance, it is
called the subordinate clause.
Radio transmission was interrupted [main clause] because a power tube blew out [subordinate clause] .
II you want the subordinate clause to express time, begin
it with after, as, before, when, or while. II you want the
subordinate clause to express a condition under which
something happens, begin it with although, because, since,
or unless.
The boutique closed after the dresses were sold out.
[time]
Unless the rain stops, the picnic will be held under the
pavilion. [condition]
II you want the subordinate clause to describe or identify
someone or something, begin it with who, that, or which.
The strawberries, which we grew in our garden, were
large, juicy, and sweet. [identif ication]
Subordination is an effective way to express two related
ideas in a single sentence and to make clear what their
relationship is. However, be careful to avoid laulty subordination. For example, il you place the less important idea in