Unsorted Quotes
Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving George Eliot
in words evidence of the fact.
Blessed are they who have nothing to say and who cannot be
persuaded to say it.
James Russell Lowell
Blinded by the light, revved up like a deux, another rumor in the
night.
Bruce Springsteen
Blessed is he who has reached the point of no return and knows it,
for he shall enjoy living.
William Bennett
Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be
disappointed.
Jonathan Swift
Blaming society for your problems is like blaming crowds for rain.
Robert Rodgers
Bill Clinton has got no choice but to continue to lie.
Rush Limbaugh
Bill Gates is a monocle and a Persian Cat away from being the
villain in a James Bond movie.
Dennis Miller
Bite into a Bjork peppermint patty, and get the sensation of being
on a tall mountain freezing your ass off in Iceland.
Richard Goodman
Bite me. eat chocolate
Jody Prival
Bite my lip and close my eyes, take me away to paradise.
Green Day
Bigamy is having one husband to many. Monogamy is the same.
Erica Jong
Blessed are the meek, for they shall be slaughtered.
Blackadder
Bleed on me, only if it matters, my little star.
Muzzle
Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
Oscar Wilde
Being disintegrated makes me very angry... very angry indeed.
Marvin Martian
Being functional takes intelligence, but nobody ever seems to give
credit for it.
John Dobbin
Benson, you are so mercifully free of the ravages of intelligence.
Time Bandits
Benson, you are so free of the ravages of intelligence
Time Bandits
Bell Labs Unix
Reach out and grep
someone.
Better to let people think you a fool, than to open your mouth and
remove all doubt.
Mark Twain
Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the
fact.
William Jones
Being off the Internet is like being dead.
Bruce Sherrod
Being snubbed by beauticians is not my idea of a good time.
Real Genius
Better than life.
Red Dwarf
Better than sitting on our elbows all day.
Blackadder IV
Better latex than never.
Adam Rifkin
Being small and simple is more important than being complete and
correct.
Unix-Haters Handbook
Better living through chemistry, man. More like better loving
through chemistry, woman.
the ARs
Based on my reason and based on what the latest scientific
Salvador Dali
discoveries of our time have shown me, I am convinced that God
exists. However, I do not believe in God as a matter of faith,
because unfortunately I have no faith. On the other hand, God is not
aware of the existence of Coca-cola, or of Salvador Dalm, much
less something called morals...
Batman is the hero any of us could be, given determination,
exercise, and deep psychological trauma.
Chris Jarocha-Ernst
Bathe twice a day to be really clean, once a day to be passable
clean, and once a week to avoid being a public menace.
Anthony Burgess
Barring that natural expression of villainy which we all have, the
man looked honest enough.
Mark Twain
Baseball is what we were, and football is what we have become.
Mary McGrory
Be very, very careful what you put into that head, because you will
never, ever get it out.
Thomas Cardinal Wolsey
Before there were junk stores, before there was junk, he lived with
his mother and repeated himself.
They Might Be Giants
Before they made him they broke the mold.
David Farber
Before I started working here I drank, smoked, and used foul
language for no reason at all. But thanks to this job, I now have a
reason.
Fitz McKinzie
Basic research is like shooting an arrow into the air and, where it
lands, painting a target.
Homer Adkins
Basically, I try to be as charming and ingratiating as I can without
making myself vomit.
Katie Couric
Be a good listener. Your ears will never get you into trouble.
Frank Tyger
Be a life long or short, its completeness depends on what it was
lived for.
David Starr Jordan
Basic events require simple language. Idiosyncratically euphuistic
eccentricities are the promulgators of triturable abfuscation.
United Technologies
Basic cable, call waiting, free trips to the salad bar... all the things
that make this country great.
PCU
Basically antisocial is not a crime.
John Dobbin
Be happy. It is a way of being wise.
Colette
Be careful who you hang out with because proximity breeds
sensitivity.
Charisse Jacobs
Be careful of reading health books, you might die of a misprint.
Mark Twain
Be consistent.
Larry Wall
Bitter winter, fiction dogs are starving.
Jim Morrison
Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on
Saturday night.
Woody Allen
Birthdays are good for you. Studies have shown that those who
have the most birthdays live the longest.
Sean Simmons
Birds of a feather flock to a newly washed car.
Marlys Bradley
Be ashamed to die until you have won some victory for humanity.
Horace Mann
Be true to your work, your word, and your friend.
Henry David Thoreau
Be slow in choosing a friend, but slower in changing him.
Scottish Proverb
Be sure not to bend, mutilate, or spindle. Especially spindle.
Farooq Butt
Be excellent to each other and party on, dudes.
Bill and Ted
Be regular and orderly in your life, that you may be violent and
original in your work.
Cliver Barker
Be aware that a halo has to fall only a few inches to be a noose.
Dan McKinnon
Be bold in what you stand for and careful what you fall for.
Ruth Boorstin
Be both a speaker of words and a doer of deeds.
Homer
Beware the fury of a patient man.
John Dryden
Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it,
and finds himself no wiser than before. He is full of murderous
resentment of people who are ignorant without having come by
their ignorance the hard way.
Kurt Vonnegut
A conservative is a liberal who has been mugged.
Frank Rizzo
A conservative is a man who believes that nothing should be done
for the first time.
Alfred E. Wiggam
A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats.
Ben Franklin
A computer, to print out a fact, Will divide, multiply, and subtract. Gigo
But this output can be No more than debris, If the input was short of
exact.
A computer is like an Old Testament god, with a lot of rules and no Joseph Campbell
mercy.
A consensus means that everyone agrees to say collectively what no Abba Eban
one believes individually.
A conversation with you, Baldrick, and somehow death loses its
sting.
Blackadder II
A city is a large community where people are lonesome together.
Herbert Prochnow
A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and
nobody wants to read.
Mark Twain
A continuing flow of paper is sufficient to continue the flow of
paper.
Dyer
A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who has never Franklin Delano Roosevelt
learned to walk.
A CONS is an object which cares.
Bernie Greenberg
A geek is a geek is a geek. Caves are attractive to them. Sunlight
and crisp fall air are the sirens that lure them away from the purity
of their mission. A tan should be a warning sign to women that the
guy might be faking it in the geek department.
Abigail Rabinowitz
A game of world domination being played by two guys who can
barely run their own lives.
Seinfeld
A Galileo could no more be elected president of the United States
than he could be elected Pope of Rome. Both high posts are
reserved for men favored by God with an extraordinary genius for
swathing the bitter facts of life in bandages of self-illusion.
H.L. Mencken
A full belly makes a dull brain.
Ben Franklin
A good compromise leaves everybody mad.
Bill Watterson
A gold rush is what happens when a line of chorus girls spot a man
with a bank roll.
Klondike Annie
A girl with a future avoids the man with a past.
Evan Esar
A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do
nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done.
Fred Allen
A gnab gib is a big bang in reverse.
Douglas Adams
A good collection of incremental examples is the best teaching tool. Mani Chandy
A good Board will give you better advice than your mother.
Eugene Kleiner
A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.
Milton Berle
A man who finds it painful to smile should not open a shop.
Confucius
A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in Mark Twain
no other way.
A great secret of success is to go through life as a man who never
gets used up.
Albert Schweitzer
A dead thing can go with the stream, but only a living thing can go
against it.
G.K. Chesterton
A man should build a house with his own hands before he calls
Alexander Solzhenitsyn
himself an engineer.
A man sometimes devotes his life to a desire which he is not sure
will ever be fulfilled. Those who laugh at this folly are, after all, no
more than mere spectators of life.
Ryunosuke Akutagawa
A man who cannot reason is a fool, a man who will not reason is a
bigot, and a man who dare not reason is a slave.
Sir William Drummond
A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.
Ogden Nash
A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his
punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.
Oscar Wilde
A dream is like a call to Wabash, Australia. You only get every
other word, and nothing make sense.
The Opposite Sex
A drink a day keeps the shrink away.
Edward Abbey
A drowning man does not die silently.
Snake Eyes
A drop of nicotine on the tongue of a dog can kill a man.
Laurence McEwen
A day is a miniature eternity.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a
coffin.
H.L. Mencken
A day without sunshine is like, night.
J.D. Peterson
A day without sunshine is like night.
Goldie Hawn
A delightfully depressing examination of the disillusionment and
disenfranchisement of our generation.
Paolo Sivilotti
A diamond is just a chunk of coal that made good under pressure.
The Cooker
A different world cannot be built by indifferent people.
Peter Marshall
A good conversationalist is not one who remembers what was said,
but says what someone wants to remember.
John Mason Brown
A good vacation is over when you begin to yearn for your work.
Dr Morris Fishbein
Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes.
Thore
A friend in need is a friend indeed.
English Proverb
Beware of bugs in the above program. I proved it correct, I did not
try it.
Donald E. Knuth
Beware of geeks bearing gift economies.
Suck
A free society is one where it is safe to be unpopular.
Adlai Stevenson
A friend told me to listen to my heart. Another friend told me to
listen to my gut. Maybe I need an autopsy, because right now my
colon is kind of iffy.
Paul Reiser
A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. Before him, I may Emerson
think aloud.
A formal system that encompasses everything is good for nothing.
Leslie Lamport
A formal parsing algorithm should not always be used.
David Gries
Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and
remove all doubt.
Abraham Lincoln
Beware when the great God lets loose a thinker on this planet. Then Ralph Waldo Emerson
all things are at risk. It is as when a conflagration has broken out in
a great city, and no man knows what is safe, or where it will end.
Beware of programmers who carry screwdrivers.
Leonard Brandwein
Beware of men who flourish with hereditary honors.
Latin Proverb
beyond the humor event horizon is a universe bound entirely by
lame forwards
Joshua Schachter
Better tried by twelve than carried by six.
Jeff Cooper
Between stimulus and response there is decision.
George X. Torres
Between the great things we cannot do and the small things we will
not do, the danger is that we shall do nothing.
Adolph Monod
Beyond each corner new directions lie in wait.
Stanislaw Lec
A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while, he Wilson Mizner
knows something.
A good question is never answered. It is not a bolt to be tightened
John Ciardi
into place but a seed to be planted and to bear more seed toward the
hope of greening the landscape of idea.
A good film is when the price of the dinner, the theatre admission
and the babysitter were worth it.
Alfred Hitchcock
A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow.
Patton
A great deal of intelligence can be invested in ignorance when the
need for illusion is deep.
Saul Bellow
A government with the policy to rob Peter to pay Paul can be
assured of the support of Paul.
George Bernard Shaw
A good reputation is more valuable than money.
Publilius Syrus
A good question is never answered. It is not a bolt to be tightened
John Ciardi
into place but a seed to be planted and to bear more seed toward the
hope of greening the landscape of the idea.
A government that is big enough to give you all you want is big
enough to take it all away.
Barry Goldwater
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely
rearranging their prejudices.
William James
A great deal of talent is lost to the world for want of a little courage. Johann Wolfgang von
Goethe
A great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.
Walter Gagehot
A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually Rita Rudner
have jobs and bathe.
A friend may well be reckoned the masterpiece of Nature.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
A friend of mine gave me a Philip Glass record. I listened to it for
five hours before I realized it had a scratch on it.
Emo Phillips
A friend is one who would help you move. A best friend is one who Jeff Wayman
would help you move a body.
A friend is someone who knows everything about you and likes you Mark Twain
in spite of it.
A feature is just a bug with seniority.
George G. Galdiano
A good name lost is seldom regained. When character is gone, all is J. Hawes
gone, and one of the richest jewels of life is lost forever.
A fixed bear is an animal in the bear family which includes black
Clay Young
bears, brown bears, pandas, koalas, and grizzlies, as well as many
others, which has been surgically altered to inhibit reproduction--for
example, by removing the gonads. A fixed bear is generally not
acceptable body jewellery due to their size as well as their claws
and teeth which can be quite damaging during intercourse in the
case of genital piercings, although there are probably a few
adventurous and exotic size queens on RAB sporting sterilized
koalas in their lobes after months and months of stretching.
Before this decade is out we will put a man on the moon.
John F. Kennedy
Can we assume that person is a complete idiot, or just a partial idiot. Andrew Stellman
Call it a rare instance of natural timidity overcoming the chronic
distaste for morning commitments.
Berna Massingill
California Pizza Kitchen is among my least favorite restaurants.
Nothing seems to come without pieces of tomato or other
vegetables.
John Dobbin
Call now for a free plant.
Crazy People
Call it a hunch.
Quasimodo
Call off the dogs, the hunt is over. Sally, this is the greatest. Sally,
please report to me.
When Harry Met Sally
Campus sidewalks never exist as the straightest line between two
points.
M. M. Johnston
Boy, that Data is slicker than cow snot
Guinan
Boy, my office sure is quiet NOW THAT MY HP IS DEAD AS A
ROCK.
Rob Earhart
Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.
Kin Hubbard
Campus politics are so vicious precisely because the stakes are so
small.
Henry Kissinger
But pork chops tastes goooood. And bacon is gooood.
Pulp Fiction
Caltech is filled with cybermorons.
Adam Rifkin
Caning makes a lasting impression.
Adam Rifkin
Candy Is dandy But liquor Is quicker.
Ogden Nash
Call the men of science, and let them hear this song, tell them
Albert Einstein and Copernicus were wrong.
They Might Be Giants
Callouses are the speed bumps of calligraphy.
Adam Rifkin
Callipigian and pyrolagnia.
Rohit Khare
Calvin Coolidge was the greatest man who ever came out of
Plymouth Corner, Vermont.
Clarence Darrow
Calvin Coolidge looks as if he had been weaned on a pickle.
Alice Roosevelt
Longworth
Calling these interfaces friendly is tantamount to dressing a
chimpanzee in a surgical gown and parading him around earnestly
as a surgeon.
Michael Dertouzos
Capital punishment turns the state into a murderer. But
imprisonment turns the state into a gay dungeon-master.
Emo Philips
Cannot fork
try again.
Boy, Data, you look great in a push-up bra
Riker
Business will be either better or worse.
Calvin Coolidge
Business is about making money. Anybody who tells you different
is selling something. Probably securities.
Faisal Jawdat
Bus error
Core dumped
Bring a towel.
Douglas Adams
Brilliant gold taps, virginal white marble, a seat carved from ebony, Trainspotting
a cistern full of chanel number five, and a flunky handing me pieces
of raw silk toilet roll.
Bored beyond belief.
LA Story
Burnt Sienna. Thats the best thing that ever happened to Crayolas.
Ken Weaver
But I look at your pants and... I need a kiss.
Violent Femmes
But leaving California now would be like leaving Florence during
the Renaissance. Young people are coming from all over the world
to participate in this miracle. I had to be part of it.
David W. Dorman
Bureaucracy is as wrong as cancer, a turning away from the human
evolutionary direction of infinite potentials and differentiation and
independent spontaneous action, to the complete parasitism of a
virus.
William S. Burroughs
Bureacracy is a giant mechanism operated by pygmies.
Honor de Balzac
Bork, bork, bork.
the Swedish chef
Brilliance is typically the act of an individual, but incredible
stupidity can usually be traced to an organization.
Jon Bentley
Brevity is the soul of lingerie.
Dorothy Parker
Bother.
Pooh
Both movies. Both with ludicrous premises. Both live action. The
similarities are endless.
John Dobbin
Bowling is what they do, Hockey is what they watch.
John Dobbin
Brain fried
Core dumped
Brain fried
Memory dumped.
Blood is thicker than water, and tastes better, too.
random vampire
Boats, cars, sex... you have to touch all of them lightly or they lose
their glamour.
Mel Gibson
Born into the Age of Panic.
Senser
Bo knows CGI.
Chris Heiser
Brains are more like pomegranites than sheets of paper.
John Haugeland
Bobby Knight is ready to check and mate.
Adam Rifkin
Born to lose, and destined to fail.
Social Distortion
Candy coated cannibalistic news flashed across the screen.
Soul Asylum
been there, done that, got the death threats
Geoff Spear
Been saved again by the garbage truck.
Tori Amos
Beauty seen is never lost.
John Greenleaf Whittier
Because without a degree you might end up like Bill Gates or
something.
Sam Kass
Because Unix lacks a uniform policy, every executable program,
Unix-Haters Handbook
every configuration file, and every start-up script become a critical
point. Put another way, the only secure Unix system is one with the
power turned off.
Beauty is unbearable, drives us to despair, offering us for a minute Albert Camus
the glimpse of an eternity that we should like to stretch out over the
whole of time.
C is the assembly language of Tcl.
Karl Lehenbauer
Beauty is truth, truth beauty.
John Keats
Because I can be.
Heathers
Because dinner in California is so important.
Mani Chandy
Be virtuous and you will be eccentric.
Mark Twain
Behind the door I keep the universe.
the Dentists
Before you started talking, you used to have a brain.
Offspring
Beer, of course, is actually a depressant. But poor people will never Kurt Vonnegut
stop hoping otherwise.
Before Honor is humility.
Proverbs
Before we meaningfully consider OSF, it needs to get deployed in
more than just books.
Steve Baker
Before every stage performance, I tell the cast members to break a
leg. Then I take a club and whack one of them on the shin. Man, I
love the way theater is so ironic.
Paul Paternoster
Behaviorist psychology
pulling habits out of rats.
Begin to weave and God will give the thread.
German Proverb
Beauty is everlasting, and dust is for a time.
Marianne Moore
Beautiful story. Kinda gets you right HERE
Q
Beauty and the best.
Adam Rifkin
Beaten can be eaten without a b.
Adam Rifkin
Beauty is in the hand of the groper.
John Dobbin
Beauty fades, and attitudes go out of style.
Michelle Gardner
Beggars should be no choosers.
John Heywood
Beggars should be abolished. It annoys one to give to them, and it
annoys one not to give to them.
Nietzsche
Behind almost every woman you ever heard of stands a man who
let her down.
Naiomi Bliven
Been there, done that, threw away the t-shirt.
Joshua Schachter
By the time Mozart was my age, he... had been dead for two years.
Tom Lehrer
By the law of conservation of bits, bits can be neither created nor
destroyed. They just get shifted.
Adam Rifkin
By the grace of slow mailservers, you are granted absolution...
Rohit Khare
By necessity, by proclivity, and by delight, we all quote. In fact, it
is as difficult to appropriate the thoughts of others as it is to invent.
Emerson
By doing just a little every day, I can gradually let the task
completely overwhelm me.
Ashleigh Brilliant
But we remember Aaron Burr only because of the Milk
Megan Coughlin
commercials. And I have no idea who attempted to shoot the Pope...
only that the Popemobile was the result.
Buy the sky and sell the sky.
REM
Canada has always been more of a Clark Kent than a Superman...
Tony Parsons
It is morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money.
Canada Bill Jones
By any means necessary.
Malcolm X
But scientists, who ought to know Assure us that it must be so. Oh,
let us never, never doubt What nobody is sure about.
Hilaire Belloc
California governor Pete Wilson has banned smoking in a number
of public places, including Death Row.
Reason magazine
Calculation never made a hero.
John Henry Cardinal
Newman
Cabalites have their own particular brand that involves electrical
tape and not much else. And sometimes not even electrical tape. I
have an image to uphold here. Besides this whole thing is moot.
There is no cabal.
Fleur Dragan
Cadillacs are down at the end of the bat.
Ralph Kiner
By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to
work twelve hours a day.
Robert Frost
By this time my lungs were aching for air.
Sea Hunt
Butterfly decal, rearview mirror, dogging the scene. You smile like
the cartoon, tooth for a tooth. You said that irony was the shackles
of youth. You wore a shirt of violent green.
REM
But, of course, both you and I know that our words our meaningless Jarett Kobek
and we only speak them to hint at the dark and deranged
undercurrent, which can never be named.
But you may find that blood is not enough.
Pete Townshend
... A solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like Mark Twain
he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity.
... all the modern inconveniences ...
Mark Twain
... Computer Science should be in the College of Theology.
R. S. Barton
... i found myself making pissy comments about all their pissy
comments. it was pretty dumb.
Kristiina Wilson
... so, given that the brain is built out of really crummy hardware, I
mean, worse than the stuff you buy at Radio Shack ...
David S. Touretzky
... an experienced, industrious, ambitious, and often quite often
picturesque liar.
Mark Twain
... an OS originally designed for a microprocessor that modern
kitchen appliances would sneer at....
Dave Trowbridge on MSDOS
... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that,
lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of
their C programs.
Robert Firth
...six first-rate programmers, a managerial challenge roughly
comparable to herding cats.
The Washington Post
Magazine
...sometimes a network is just a network...
Mitchell Kertzman
...the privileged being which we call human is distinguished from
R. A. Lafferty
other animals only by certain double-edged manifestations which in
charity we can only call inhuman.
... MAKE.SHAME.FAST. Just go out, sleep with the five people on Bruce Sherrod
the list, add your name to the bottom, and then pass the list on to a
bunch of your friends...
...since I have left Apple it has had its first profitable year in a while Guy Kawasaki
and the stock has tripled. Those of you who are Macintosh and
Apple fans, you have my word that I will not return to the
company...
...sex sometimes is just more of a pain than a pleasure. Much like
ezmail.
Chris Rapier
...because i spent the first three hours of the day in intense
Chris Heiser
meditation trying to decide the most effective way for me to convey
my overwhelming desire for you to BITE ME.
...a generation that had found all gods dead, all wars fought in vain,
and all faiths in humanity shaken.
F. Scott Fitzgerald
...and I am not going to do the proof because the proof for this is
stupid.
Prof. Silhavy
...an experienced, industrious, ambitious, and often quite
picturesque liar.
Mark Twain
A banker is the person who lends you his umbrella when the sun is
shining and wants it back the minute it rains.
Mark Twain
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is
shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
Mark Twain
A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself, to keep his
friends in countenance.
Benjamin Franklin
A bazooka is the skeleton key of the impatient.
Will Timmins
A big man has no time really to do anything but just sit and be big.
F. Scott Fitzgerald
A bear in his natural habitat. A studebaker.
Fozzie Bear
A Beast is not like itself, but an evil man is half a beast and half a
devil.
Joseph Hall
A bore is a man who deprives you of solitude without providing
you with company.
Gian Vincenzo Gravina
A bore is a fellow who opens his mouth and puts his feats in it.
Henry Ford
A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.
Cervantes
A bone to the dog is not charity. Charity is the bone shared with the Jack London
dog, when you are just as hungry as the dog.
A bird of my tongue is better than a beast of yours.
Much Ado About Nothing
A bachelor is a selfish, undeserving guy who has cheated some
woman out of a divorce.
Don Quinn
A bore is a man who, when you ask him how he is, tells you.
Bert Leston Taylor
A butterfly flapping its wings in Galviston will somewhere down
the road create a monsoon in China.
Slacker
A Canadian is just an unarmed American with health insurance.
John Wing Jr
A calorie is a calorie, and I want to get the most for my money.
Martin Frankel
A bore talks about himself. A brilliant conversationalist talks about
you.
Ernest Prabhakar
A boy without mischief is like a bowling ball without a liquid
center.
Homer Simpson
A bus station is where the bus stops. This computer is a WORK
station.
Roger B. Dannenberg
...I will have hideous nightmares involving huge monsters in
academic robes carrying long bloody butcher knives labelled
Excerpt, Selection, Passage and Abridged.
Helene Hanff
A Brother is someone you grok.
Earle M. Herbert
A child educated only at school is an uneducated child.
George Santayana
A child learns what he lives.
Dorothy Law Nolte
A cat that jumps on a hot stove will never jump on a hot stove
again. Neither will it jump on a cold stove.
Michael Cameron
A car is just a big purse on wheels.
Johanna Reynolds
A celibate clergy is an especially good idea, because it tends to
suppress any hereditary propensity toward fanaticism.
Carl Sagan
A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the Kingston Pass.
Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for sixteen hardened
criminals.
Ronnie Corbett
A child without a vision is at risk of failing and living only day to
day.
Jim Lewis
A car can massage organs which no masseur can reach. It is the one Jean Cocteau
remedy for the disorders of the great sympathetic nervous system.
A buck in the hand is worth two on the books.
David Farber
A chaste woman ought not to die her hair yellow.
Menander
A change in the weather is enough to renew the world and
ourselves.
Marcel Proust
A Chernobyl man won the three-legged race.
Jay Leno
A chameleon on plaid.
Herbert Hoover about FDR
All good books are alike in that they are truer than if they had really Ernest Hemingway
happened.
All carry on luggage had to fit in the ass of the person sitting in
front of me. Well, I lost my luggage, but I gained a friend and
confidant for life.
Dennis Miller
All fashionable vices pass for virtues.
Moliere
All games are built on prophecy.
Marian Helsby
All Galaxy Class Starships are equipped with their own dramatic
lighting system.
Dan Fahs
All human error is impatience, a premature renunciation of method, Franz Kafka
a delusive pinning down of a delusion.
All great truths begin as blasphemies.
G.B. Shaw
After all is said and done, the human struggle always filters down to Baked Potatoes
substance abuse.
All good work is done in defiance of management.
Bob Woodward
All free men, wherever they may live, are citizens of Berlin. And
therefore as a free man, I take pride in the words, Ich bin ein
Berlinner.
John F. Kennedy
All I need is some feathers, a dress, some oil, an easel, some
sleeping dram, lots of paper, a prostitute, and the best portrait
painter in England.
Blackadder II
All I really wanted was for Mac to put the damn dog out, I swear.
Lady Macbeth
All I could think was wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, and most
wonderful, and yet again... wonderful.
LA Story
All men are created evil. Some are just more evil than others.
Adam Rixey
All men are afraid of eyelash curlers. I sleep with one under my
pillow, instead of a gun.
Rita Rudner
All is well that ends well.
John Heywood
All in all, things where easier to fix when the people running the
network were the ones with the nukes.
Tim Showalter
All intellectual improvement arises from leisure.
Samuel Johnson
After all is said and done, much is said and little is done.
Olmstead
Adultery is pretty much laughed off today.
John Dobbin
Advertising is legalized lying.
H.G. Wells
Adopt Macaulay Culkin and rob the little monkey blind.
David Letterman
Adorable wind-up monkey with a powerful taste for human flesh.
David Letterman
Advertising the fact that Matthew Perry is single and looking is like People
sending a man walking with a hundred pounds of hamburger
strapped to his back through a famine infested country.
Adversity reveals genius, prosperity conceals it.
Horace
Adults choosing between good and evil is like kids choosing
between celery and cookies.
Adam Rifkin
Adults are just obsolete chidren, and the hell with them.
Dr. Seuss
Advertising gives us a new option, whereas before all we had were
boredom and mania.
Crazy People
Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a
newspaper.
Mark Twain
Adweanne
Rocky
African sun was pure and good. Never needed a hat, just
brotherhood.
NWH
After a day of being a two-faced political weasel, a fella gets awful
lonely.
David Letterman
Affluence trivializes, excessive affluence trivializes to the absurd.
Dren Geer
Afflictions are good, as every filmmaker knows, because they
generate emotion and win Oscars.
Mr. Cranky
After considerable thought, I have concluded that a Ponderance is
merely a Rumination dressed up in fancy clothes.
Ed Smith
After dark all cats are leopards.
Native American Proverb
After learning some tricks of the trade, many people think they
know the trade.
Eugene Kleiner
After five years of playing football, they gave me a college degree.
Forrest Gump
...the two most common things in the Universe are hydrogen and
stupidity.
Harlan Ellison
...there remains to civic-minded, responsible, thrill-seeking females
only to overthrow the government, elminate the money system,
institute complete automation, and destroy the male sex.
Valerie Solanis
Alimony is a system by which, when two people make a mistake,
one of them keeps paying for it.
Peggy Joyce
Air travel is hours of boredom punctuated by a few brief moments
of terror.
Charles Lindberg
Alcohol can clean a bathroom, it ought to be able to clean your
arteries.
Ted Metzler
All I want is food and creative love.
Rusted Root
All I want is a warm bed and a kind word and unlimited power.
Ashleigh Brilliant
All I want to do is graduate from high school, go to Europe, marry
Christian Slater, and die.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
All bridge hands are equally likely, but some are more equally
likely than others.
Alan Truscott
All bleeding eventually stops.
Hayden Meeker
Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing
and that was the closest
our country has ever been
to being even.
Alia jacta est. The die is cast.
Julius Caesar after crossing
the Rubicon
Alice soon came to the conclusion that this was a very difficult
game indeed.
Lewis Carroll
All are but part of one stupendous whole, whose body nature is, and Alexander Pope
God the soul...
All applicants from outside the English speaking world must
possess a fluent command of English before admission. Cambridge
accepts that the United States of America is a part of the English
speaking world, but only just.
Cambridge University web
site
All animals, except man, know that the principal business of life is
to enjoy it.
Samuel Butler
All animals are created equal, but some are more equal than others.
George Orwell
All a man needs to be elected President is the kind of profile that
looks good on a postage stamp.
B.B. Franklin
A leopard never changes his stripes.
Al Gore
A liberal is a conservative who has been arrested.
Tom Wolfe
A loving wife will do anything for her husband except stop
criticizing him and trying to improve him.
J.B. Priestly
A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience.
Doug Larson
A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the
polls.
Vice President Dan Quayle
A legend is a lie that has attained the dignity of age.
H.L. Mencken
A Lisp programmer knows the value of everything, but the cost of
nothing.
Alan Perlis
A little caution outflanks a large cavalry.
Bismarck
A list is only as strong as its weakest link.
Donald E. Knuth
A libertarian is just an anarchist on the gold standard.
Alexis Gilliland
A large number of installed systems work by fiat. That is, they work Anatol Holt
by being declared to work.
A lot of people I know believe in positive thinking, and so do I. I
believe everything positively stinks.
Lew Col
A lot of people have these quotes pages full of funny and
sometimes thought provoking things people they know or admire
say. Most of the time the quotes are painfully sarcastic or full of
angst and ultraviolence. This is useless and will not be supported
Randy Goldstein
here.
A little work, a little sleep, a little love and it is all over.
Robert Frost
A long, long time ago, I can still remember how that music used to
make me cry...
Don McLean
A long habit of not thinking a thing wrong gives it a superficial
appearance of being right.
Thomas Paine
A language is a dialect with an army and a navy.
Max Weinreich
A hat is wasted on a man with no head.
Mad About You
A handsome man is not quite poor.
Spanish proverb
A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too
short.
Andre Maurois
A little inaccuracy saves a world of explanation.
C.E. Ayres
A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned Carrie Snow
a car.
A little learning is a dangerous thing but a lot of ignorance is just as Bob Edwards
bad.
A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable but also
more useful than a life spent doing nothing.
George Bernard Shaw
A likely impossibility is always preferable to an unconvincing
possibility.
Aristotle
A man is not finished when he is defeated. He is finished when he
quits.
Richard M. Nixon
A man is rich in proportion to the things he can afford to let alone.
Henry David Thoreau
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
Zsa Zsa Gabor
A man looks in the abyss, there is nothing staring back at him. At
that moment he discovers his character. That keeps the man out of
the abyss.
Wall Street
A near miss a HIT.
George Carlin
A neck wound that resembled, in the words of one bystander, a
really bad hickey.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
A motorcycle is a combination of pony, blow dryer, and vibrator perfect for girls of all ages.
Colin MacDonald
A mulatto, an albino, a mosquito, a libido, a denial.
Nirvana
A man of great memory without learning hath a rock and a spindle
and no staff to spin.
George Herbert
A man in general is better pleased when he has a good dinner than
when his wife talks Greek.
Samuel Johnson
A man in my position... which is, seated upright...
David Letterman
A man would discover sorrow if all his wishes were satisfied.
Aesop
A man gazing at the stars is proverbially at the mercy of the puddles Alexander Smith
in the road.
A man can be forgiven if he can quote Shakespeare in an economic
crisis.
H.R.H. Prince Philip
A man of convictions, none of them pending.
David Letterman of Oliver
North
A man of genius makes no mistakes. His errors are volitional and
are portals of discovery.
James Joyce
A man of principles. None of them interesting.
John Dobbin
A man may be born, but in order to be born he first must die, and in Gurdieff
order to die he must first awake.
A man is as good as he has to be, and a woman as bad as she dares.
Elbert Hubbard
A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the
better lawyer.
Robert Frost
A haiku is a a Japanese poem containing three lines of five, seven,
and five syllables, containing a cutting, or pause, word, as well as
spam, oelestra, or Spice Girls imagery.
Joshua Schachter
A lady is known by the product she endorces.
Ogden Nash
A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.
Lao Tsu
A group of hackers devised a protocol for transmitting Usenet over Unix-Haters Handbook
the Internet, which was completely subsidized by the federal deficit.
A highbrow is a person educated beyond his intelligence.
Brander Matthews
A guilty conscience is the mother of invention.
Carolyn Wells
A grunge band from Seattle, well this sure beats raising cattle.
Weird Al Yankovic
A group of white South Africans recently killed a black lawyer
because he was black. That was wrong. They should have killed
him because he was a lawyer.
A. Whitney Brown
A land without ruins is a land without memories - a land without
memories is a land without history.
Abram Joseph Ryan
A mohawk for the mind. Snip away the shades of grey matter. No
matter, nevermind.
Adam Rifkin
A masochist is a person who likes a cold shower in the morning, so
he takes a hot one.
Dave Barry
A mathematician is a machine for converting coffee into theorems.
Paul Erdos
A mind once stretched by a new idea never regains its original
dimension.
Oliver Wendell Holmes
But I like my idea better.
Calvin
If one cannot catch a bird of paradise, better take a wet hen.
Nikita Khruschev
If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and
endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with
a success unexpected in common hours.
Henry David Thoreau
If people have that much free time, they should give it to me.
Aleecia McDonald
If you can spend a perfectly useless afternoon in a perfectly useless
manner, you have learned how to live.
Lin Yutang
If only I could kill the killer.
Alanis Morissette
If pregnancy were a book they would cut the last two chapters.
Nora Ephron
If only God would give me a clear sign, like a large deposit in my
name in a swiss bank.
Woody Allen
If only god would give me a sign... like making a large deposit in
my name to a swiss bank account.
Woody Allen
If scientific reasoning were limited to the logical processes of
arithmetic, we should not get very far in our understanding of the
physical world. One might as well attempt to grasp the game of
poker entirely by the use of the mathematics of probability.
Vannevar Bush
If you can dream it you can do it. Always remember that this whole Walt Disney
thing was started by a mouse.
If you can dream it, you can do it.
Walt Disney
If you can only remain pure in your stupidity, someday you may get Charles Bukowski
a phone call from hell.
If you do not wish a thing heard, do not say it.
Klingon proverb
If you do not understand a particular word in a piece of technical
writing, ignore it. The piece will make perfect sense without it.
Ron Dippold
If you believe everything you read, better not read.
Japanese proverb
If you build it, they will come.
Field of Dreams
If novelty was the essential ingredient of modern art, then repetition Joel Achenbach
is the hallmark of postmodern craft.
If there were no schools to take the children away from home... the
insane asylum would be filled with mothers.
Edgar Watson Howe
If there is something laudable, make sure that it is audible.
Madge M. Mullin
If there were in the world today a large number of people who
Bertrand Russell
desired their own happiness more than they desired the unhappiness
of others we could have a paradise in a few years.
if the network is the computer, then the computer SUCKS.
Nathan Torkington
If the ionization-rate is constant for all ectoplasmic entities, we can
really bust some heads... in a spiritual sense...
Ghostbusters
If the idea of a protocol behaving like a rabid, diseased sex-crased
John Kennedy
bunny rabbit appeals to you, AppleTalk is for you.
If there is any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do to
any fellow being, let me do it now, and not deter or neglect it, as I
shall not pass this way again.
William Penn
If there be any truer measure of a man than by what he does, it must Robert South
be by what he gives.
If the world were clear, art would have no purpose.
Albert Camus
If the world comes to an end, I want to be in Cincinnati. Everything Will Rogers
comes there ten years later.
If there is anyone here that I have not offended, I deeply apologize.
Brahms
If the price of peace is the blackening of my name, I will gladly take Michael Collins
it.
If life were predictable, it would cease to be life, and be without
flavor.
Eleanor Roosevelt
If little else, the brain is an educational toy.
Tom Robbins
If looks could kill they probably will in games without frontiers,
war without tears.
Peter Gabriel
If looks could kill, you would be an Uzi.
Salt n Pepa
If men are going to destroy the planet Earth and all its inhabitants
with violence and wars, all men should be killed, to preserve the
rest of human kind.
Betsy Warrior
If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators
would be dead.
Johnny Carson
If life must not be taken too seriously... then so neither must death.
Samuel Butler
If the shoe fits, buy it.
Imelda Marcos
If the shoe were on the other foot, Microsoft would have left it in
and called it a feature.
Derren Whiteman
If men were angels, we would need no government. But men are
not angels.
Aristotle
If men could get pregnant not only would abortions be legal but you John Ridley
could get them at McDonalds.
If my mind had the power to heal me, you would think it would also Lynda Callicotte
have the power to keep me out of graduate school. No such luck.
If no one ever took risks, Michelangelo would have painted the
Sistine floor.
Neil Simon
If no one out there understands, start your own revolution and cut
out the middle man.
Billy Bragg
If Noah had been truly wise, he would have swatted those two flies. Helen Castle
If we do not succeed, then we run the risk of failure.
Vice President Dan Quayle
If we could bottle it, we could cork it.
Mike Palmer
If we still lived in the middle ages, the fact that the world is round
William S. Burroughs
would be a top secret, enabling us to attack the enemy from the rear.
If we would guide by the light of reason, we must let our minds be
bold.
Louis Dembitz Brandeis
If we were perfect strangers, I might have loved you perfectly.
The Mystery of Edwin
Drood
If writers were bakers, this sentence would be exactly a dozen
words long.
Douglas R Hofstadter
If we cannot now end our differences, at least we can make the
world safe for diversity.
John F. Kennedy
If you always tell the truth, you never have to remember what you
said.
Mark Twain
If you are always pressing the envelope, you will suffer many paper Scott Fahlman
cuts.
Arithmetic is being able to count up to twenty without taking off
your shoes.
Mickey Mouse
Armaments, universal debt and planned obsolescence... those are
the three pillars of Western Philosophy.
Aldous Huxley
art and science are the same basic fabric, just in art you tend to
arrive at important developments without the need for
documentation on how you got there
Brad Barkett
Art flourishes where there is a sense of adventure.
Alfred North Whitehead
Artificial intelligences make mistakes too, only faster.
Larry Wall
Art is a moral passion married to entertainment. Moral passion
without entertainment is propaganda, and entertainment without
moral passion is television.
Rita Mae Brown
Art is a lie by witch you tell the truth.
Pablo Picasso
Art is what you can get away with.
Andy Warhol
Art, like morality, consists of drawing the line somewhere.
Gilbert Keith Chesterton
Art is anything you can get away with.
Marshall McLuhan
As a composer i take my hat off to you. As a man i put on ten.
Arturo Toscaninni
Art is much less important than life, but what a poor life without it.
Robert Motherwell
If you commit a crime, you are guilty.
Rush Limbaugh
If you do a job too well, you will get stuck with it.
Slous
If you cannot be free, be as free as you can.
Scent of the Roses
If you do bad things in the vicinity of a rock and roll record,
chances are you were sick before you got there.
Frank Zappa
If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make
it dance.
George Bernard Shaw
If you cannot convince them, confuse them.
Harry S. Truman
If you choose not to live in a cluster, uh, dorm...
Jim Zelenka
If you carry with you your childhood, you never become older.
Abraham Sutzkever
If you cannot hope for order, withdraw with style from the chaos.
Stoppard
If they had Nautilus on the Concorde, I would work out all the time. Linda Evangelista
If they want peace, nations should avoid the pin-pricks that precede Napoleon Bonaparte
cannon shots.
If they ever come up with a swashbuckling school, I think one of
the courses should be Laughing, Then Jumping Off Something.
Jack Handey
If they could easily perceive themselves and others as part of a
Gayl Lepore
network, children would teach us all sorts of new ways of
socializing and communicating. We need children to accelerate this
for us because we are too ingrained in traditional modes to see the
breakthrough applications that we could be building in fields like
education and recreation.
If this department has a grapevine, I am a raisin in another county.
Berna Massingill
If this department has a grapevine, she is the raisin bran.
Rohit Khare
If this video was a turd, it would be, like, the same thing. Only if it
was a turd, it would be kinda cool.
Beavis and Butt-head
If this were a trial I think we could reach a verdict on the strong
circumstantial evidence alone.
Scott Adams
If thy enemy wrong thee, buy each of his children a drum.
Chinese Proverb
If this department has a grapevine, Rifkin would be something nutbased.
Rohit Khare
If time were a color, I bet it would be a tasteful off-white.
Greg Parrish
If two men agree on everything, you can be sure that one of them is Lyndon Baines Johnson
doing the thinking.
If two men say the same thing, you can be sure one of them is lying. Irwin Corey
If we are to begin packaging ourselves as boxes of cereal,
Democracy will die... for you could not win the presidency without
proving unworthy of the job.
Adlai Stevenson
If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the beige can of leftover
Span.
Johnny Carson
If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the beige can of leftover
Spam.
Johnny Carson
If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise
of fighting a foreign enemy.
James Madison
If we can get two women on the Supreme Court, surely we can get
one on you.
Reality Bites
If you have the freedom to do what you want, you have to pay a
price. And that price is almost always stability. Except for SML, in
which the price is your sanity.
Sean Simmons
If you have the means, I highly recommend it. It is so choice.
Ferris Bueller
If you involved in too many things, the only thing you will excel at
is being busy.
Roland Gustafsson
If you want divine justice, die.
Nick Seldon
Illegal drugs, fire arms, bomb making materials, lewd and obscene
pornographic material...
Tim Byars
Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.
Jules de Gaultier
Imagination is the highest kite one can fly.
Lauren Bacall
If you just try long enough and hard enough, you can always
manage to boot yourself in the posterior.
A. J. Liebling
If you hit a home run, you can take your time running the bases.
Casey Stengel
If you just want the best, turn to yourself for the rest, and forget
about the ones who have it all. Be careful of the ones who have it
all.
Bad Religion
If you have never been hated by your child, you have never been a
parent.
Bette Davis
If you have not done these things, you should. These things are fun, Dr. Seuss
and fun is good.
If you live to the age of a hundred you have it made because very
few people die past the age of a hundred.
George Burns
If you have been to Moscow during Soviet times, you will probably Ken Thompson
remember paying almost nothing to be ignored by a waiter in a
restaurant. Now you pay a fortune to be ignored by ten waiters.
If you have sex with a cow, you basically win.
Terry Rokop
Il buono, il bruto, il cattivo.
Age Scarpelli, Luciano
Vincenzoni, and Sergio
Leone
Il faut cultiver notre jardin. It is necessary to cultivate our garden.
Voltaire
In a world where carpenters are resurected, anything is possible.
The Lion in Winter
In a free society, some are guilty, all are responsible.
Abraham Joshua Heschel
Imagine a world without hypothetical situations.
Debbie Rothman
Imagine being told by the Vice President that your job is
unnecessary.
Jay Leno
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them in
Jef Raskin
the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and
nobody thinks of complaining.
Imagine leaving Christie Brinkley in search of a trophy wife.
Howard Stern
Imagine every particle in the universe exploding away from each
other at the speed of light.
Ghostbusters
Imagine if birds were tickled by feathers...
Steven Wright
Ignorance and freedom are incompatible.
Thomas Jefferson
ILEN... your tickets are on the kitchen table, in case the bright
white envelope with HUGE honking black lettering that says iLEN
somehow eluded you.
Kate Cronin
Imagine feeling completely powerless... like a marble statue... now
imagine the biggest flock of pigeons you ever saw...
Scott Adams
If you kill one person, you are an assassin. If you kill a million
people, you are a conquerer. If you kill everyone, you are a god.
Conrad Bland
If you freak her out and she winds up in the hospital then YOU
WIN.
Joshua Schachter
If you miss the beginning, hang it up.
Slacker
If you milk a bull he will be your friend for life.
Yakov Smirnov
If you go to the family reunion to meet women.
Jeff Foxworthy
If you think that it is noisy outside go into a quiet room and listen to Three Govinanda
your brain.
Badgercatcher
If you understand everything, you must be misinformed.
Japanese Proverb
If you think I wear the cloak of filth, then let me tell you baby, I
wear it real good.
Diamanda Galas
If you go on with this nuclear arms race, all you are going to do is
make the rubble bounce
Winston Churchill
If you drive a camaro, life just seems better.
Rugburns
If you dress well enough, everyone will presume you have a social
life.
N.Y. Times
If you lit a match there, it would explode.
Howard Stern
If you live in a country run by committee, be on the committee.
Graham Summer
If you ever see me getting beaten by the police, put down the video
camera and come help me.
Bobcat Goldthwait
If you ever wondered how you get triangles from a cow you need
butter, milk, cheese and a equilateral chainsaw.
Half Man Half Biscuit
In adversity a man is saved by hope.
Menander
In a word, Vodka. In a few more, Amaretto, Rum, Gin.
Mike Wallace
If someone tells you that the fully armored man of the Middle Ages Nicole Sebastiani
was so encumbered by his armor that he could not rise if he fell,
you may well ask yourself, first, if it is reasonable to assume that
professional soldiers would go on wearing armor that kept them
from fighting...
If something goes wrong, it is more important to talk about who is
going to fix it, than who is to blame.
Francis J. Gable
If someone had told me I would be Pope one day, I would have
studied harder.
Pope John Paul I
If someone bothers you, ask him to stop. If he does not stop, destroy Anton LaVey
him.
If the creator had a purpose is equipping us with a neck, he surely
meant us to stick it out.
Arthur Koestler
If that makes any sense to you, you have a big problem.
C. Durance
If the code and comments disagree, then both are probably wrong.
Norm Schryer
If the code and the comments disagree, then both are probably
wrong.
Norm Schryer
If the freedom of speech is taken away then dumb and silent we
may be led, like sheep to the slaughter.
George Washington
If the aborigine drafted an IQ test, all of Western civilization would Stanley Garn
presumably flunk it.
If you were online with a very large OC customer and people were Vijay Gill
calling you in the middle of a complex diverse BGP setup, and kept
yelling homosex, I guarantee you would lose your shit so fast.
If your life at night is good, you think you have everything.
Euripides
Impropriety is the soul of wit.
William Somerset
Maugham
Impossible is a word to be found only in the dictionary of fools.
Napolean Bonaparte
Impulse buying is not macho. Men rarely call the Home Shopping
Network.
Rita Rudner
If you wish peace, work for justice.
Pope Paul VI
If you were being paranoid, you were being paranoid on the wrong
level.
Sean Simmons
If you wish to appear agreeable in society, you must consent to be
taught many things which you already know.
Johann Caspar Lavater
In a cruel and evil world, being cynical can allow you to get some
entertainment out of it.
Daniel Waters
Immortality... a fate worse than death.
Edgar A. Shoaff
In a society where everone is guilty, the only crime is getting
caught.
Dr. Hunter S. Thompson
Impeccability, a finely honed strategic sense, and an intelligent
Joshua Geller
application of personal ferocity beat out fear and hate every time.
imminent death of the net predicted. again.
Chris Hanson
Immigration is the sincerest form of flattery.
Jack Paar
Immerse my self in material gratification in a desperate attempt to
replace the attention so cruelly denied me. That or maybe an ice
cream or something.
John Dobbin
If you wish to be useful, never take a course that will silence you.
John Jay Chapman
Refuse to learn anything that implies collusion, whether it be a
clerkship or a curacy, a legal fee or a post in a university. Retain the
power of speech no matter what other power you may lose. If you
can take this course, and in so far as you take it, you will bless this
country. In so far as you depart from this course you become
dampers, mutes, and hooded executioners.
If you want truly to understand something, try to change it.
Kurt Lewin
If you want to make enemies, try to change something.
Woodrow Wilson
If you want to play house with the unwashed masses, be my guest.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
If you want to start a religion, you might do better on the orgy front Professor Beildelman
than the castration front.
If you want to destroy my sweater, just hold this thread as I walk
away.
Weezer
If you want happiness for an hour take a nap. If you want happiness Chinese Proverb
for a day go fishing. If you want happiness for a year inherit a
fortune. If you want happiness for a life help someone else.
If you want to fight discrimination, you must first make the
injustice visible.
Brent Capps
As a man thinketh in his heart so is he.
Eddie Vedder
As a math atheist, I should be excused from this.
Calvin
Any excuse will serve a tyrant.
Aesop
Any lawyser can get you money. A really good one will get you a
body part.
Rachael Dooley
Any deviation will result in termination.
The Management
An appeal is when you ask one court to show its contempt for
another court.
Finley Peter Dunne
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile hoping it will eat him last. Winston Churchill
An angry Dogbert denied that his ego was so big he started a tabloid Scott Adams
devoted entirely to himself.
An evil deed is not redeemed by an evil deed of retaliation. Justice
is never advanced in the tacking of a human life. Morality is never
upheld by a legalized murder.
Corretta Scott King
Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look Hedy Lamar
stupid.
Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do. Dale Carnegie
Any fool can be fussy and rid himself of energy all over the place,
but a man has to have something in him before he can settle down
to do nothing.
J.B. Priestley
Any fool with money can have a Mercedes, but few can have taste.
Rohit Khare
An author ought to write for the youth of his own generation, the
critics of the next, and the schoolmaster of ever afterwards.
F. Scott Fitzgerald
An artist cannot speak about art, any more than a plant can discuss
horticulture.
Jean Cocteau
Anticipatory plagiarism occurs when someone steals your original
idea and publishes it a hundred years before you were born.
Robert Merton
Anyone who considers protocol unimportant has never dealt with a
cat.
Robert Heinlein
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random
digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
John von Neumann
Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head
examined.
Samuel Goldwyn
Anyone can become ANGRY. That is easy. But to be angry with
the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right
purpose and in the right way. That is not easy.
Aristotle
Anyone who has never hacked sendmail.cf has no soul. Anyone
who has hacked it twice has no brain.
Peter da Silva
Any sin or repudiation against the mother is punished by
banishment from the community.
Ancient Babylonian law
Anyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm.
Publilius Syrus
Anyone can hate. It costs to love.
John Williamson
Any clod can have facts, but having opinions is an art.
Charles McCabe
Any clod can have the facts, but having opinions is an art.
Charles McCabe
Any American who is prepared to run for President should
automatically, by definition, be disqualified from ever doing so.
Gore Vidal
Anxiety is the dizziness of freedom.
Soren Kierkegaard
Anxiety is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If
encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are
drained.
Arthur Somers Roche
Anxiety is interest paid on trouble before it is due.
Dean Inge
An eternity with Beelzebub will be a picnic compared to five
minutes with me and this pencil.
Blackadder III
And all you touch and all you see is all your life will ever be.
Roger Waters
Anarchism is founded on the observation that since few men are
Edward Abbey
wise enough to rule themselves, even fewer are wise enough to rule
others.
Anal expulsive... slurp and burp...
Dan Connolly
An old expression suggests that when you only have a hammer,
everything looks like a nail. Excel, of course, is not a hammer. It is
a Swiss Army knife. Unfortunately, all the blades except one are
broken.
Bruce Tognazini
An invasion of armies can be resisted, but not an idea whose time
has come.
Victor Hugo
An optimist is a person who sees a green light everywhere, while
the pessimist sees only the red stoplight. The truly wise person is
colorblind.
Albert Schwietzer
An optimist is a guy who has never had much experience.
Don Marquis
An object in motion tends to stay in motion, until it needs gas or a
taco or something.
Porsche Carrera S
Advertisement
And every spring, a new graduating class enters the workforce.
Gord Campbell
Some have a well-rounded view of operating systems, but for many
there is only Unix.
And here I sit so patiently, trying to find out what price, You have
to pay to get out of going through all these things twice.
Bob Dylan
And God thought the earth was pretty cool, but still no naked
chicks, so he made one. And a naked dude, too.
Beavis and Butt-head
And death walks, grinning, in the parade.
T.S. Eliot
An adventure is only an inconvenience rightly considered. An
inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered.
G. K. Chesterton
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.
Charlie McCarthy
An Englishman never enjoys himself, except for a noble purpose.
A. P. Herbert
An efficient organization is one in which the accounting department E.W.R. Steacie
knows the exact cost of every useless administrative procedure
which they themselves have initiated.
An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be
made in a very narrow field.
Neils Bohr
An erection at will is the moral equivalent of a valid credit card.
Dr. Alex Comfort
An eye for an eye makes the world blind.
Gandhi
An expert is someone who knows some of the worst mistakes that
can be made in his subject and how to avoid them.
Werner Heisenberg
An eigenvalue is a unique scalar which when it multiplies an
eigenvector, produces a resultant vector equivalent to the operator
of the eigen-equation applied to the same eigenvector. But you
already knew that.
Ron Resnick
An entire city block populated by morons that are so blessed with
Lex Gibson
whatever it is that God uses to punish the weaker branches of the
tree of life that any sort of advanced technology stops working here.
This helps explain why we use Microsoft operating systems run on
Intel motherboards.
America has the attention span of a ferret on double espresso.
Dennis Miller
America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it
wags its tail, it knocks over a chair.
Arnold Toynbee
America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence Oscar Wilde
whithout civilization in between.
America is the only nation in history which miraculously has gone
directly from barbarism to degeneration without the usual interval
of civilization.
Georges Clemenceau
Amnesia is not knowing who one is and wanting desperately to find Tom Robbins
out. Euphoria is not knowing who one is and not caring. Ecstasy is
knowing exactly who one is... and still not caring.
Among the outlaw spellings that canyon residents have awakened to LA Times
see were HOLLYWEED, PEROTWOOD, CALTECH and GO
NAVY.
Amid a multitude of projects, no plan is devised.
Syrus
Any sufficiently advanced bug is indistinguishable from a feature.
Kulawiec
And Znow a Zima tazte tezt. Tazte like zhit.
Kevin Nealon
And when you gaze into an abyss for a long time, the abyss also
gazes into you.
Nietzsche
And, in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.
the Beatles
Andie McDowell is a spy-nun-love interest forced to imitate a
dolphin. This is the only correct casting of Andie McDowell.
James Reffell
Angela has no friends or neighbors who can identify her, because
for four years she has lived entirely on the Internet.
Caryn James reviewing
The Net
Angels we have heard on high tell us to go out and buy.
Tom Lehrer
Angry voters in a number of states also voted overwhelmingly to
impose term limits on members of Congress, apparently because
there was no way to vote for putting them directly in jail.
Dave Barry
Anger begins with folly, and ends with repentance.
H.G. Bohn
And with a needle in his vein, he knew he could not explain, just
what it all means.
Jellyfish
Another improvement that we made was that we built our gas
chambers to accommodate two thousand people at one time.
Rudolf Hoess
Another genius foiled by an incapable assistant.
Calvin
Andrew is the operating system of the future and always will be.
Mary R. Thompson
Brothers quarrel like thieves inside a house, but outside their swords Japanese proverb
leap out in each others defense.
Bring me my broadsword and clear understanding.
Jethro Tull
Brontosauruses are very thin at one end, thick in the middle and thin Anne Elk
again at the other end.
But he made too many enemies of the people who would keep us on XTC
our knees.
Bring Captain Solo and the stock options to me.
Dan Martinez
Build tunnels. Nobody burns their tunnels behind them.....
John Dobbin
Build for your team a feeling of oneness, of dependence on one
another and of strength to be derived by unity.
Vince Lombardi
Andrew is so incredibly reliable that almost any printing command
will work, as long as it is long and complex enough...
Nathaniel Borenstein
Bring forth the sacrificial worms. Huh uh huh.
Butt-head
And the sky was made of amethysts, and all the stars are just like
little fish.
Hole
and the obvious answer to that is yes, you smoke crack like an
engineer drinks espresso.
Fred Green
and the fist of darwin shall smite thy stupid ass
Marcy Lewis
And the strange flavour of AI work is that people try to put together Douglas Hofstadter
long sets of rules in strict formalisms which tell inflexible machines
how to be flexible.
another vote for who the fuck is slenk.
Martin Frankel
Any political group that bashes the poor is neither religious nor
right.
Barbara Reynolds
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from a
rigged demo.
James Klass
Any nitwit can understand computers. Many do.
Ted Nelson
Any time is the right time for an explosion.
Butt-head
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from
magic.
Arthur C. Clarke
Any sufficiently repeatable miracle is indistinguishable from
mundane technology.
Joe Barrera
Any technology distinguishable from magic is insufficiently
advanced.
Alan Briggins
Any sufficiently complicated C or Fortran program contains an ad
hoc, informally-specified, bug-ridden, slow implementation of half
of Common Lisp.
Philip Greenspun
Any time four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, Johnny Carson
a bank robbery has just taken place.
Any two philosophers can tell each other all they know in two
hours.
Oliver Wendell Holmes,
Jr.
Any verbose and tedious solution is error-prone because
programmers get bored.
Bjarne Stroustrup
And therefore, the universe is unstable and we all died a long time
ago.
Physics proof
And remember that at the end of the day this is just an ant farm with Dennis Miller
beepers...
And now Red in the Silent Spot.
Red Skelton
And in the other corner, you could count down to the end of the
Megan Coughlin
year. And in another corner, you could count down to the
millennium. And in yet another corner, you could count up from the
previous millennium. Unfortunately, my Dilbert desk calendar has
DILBERT by Scott Adams in the corner, which throws off all my
plans.
And now for something completely different... a man with three
buttocks.
Monty Python
And so you see I have come to doubt all that I once held as true I
stand alone without beliefs the only truth I know is you.
Paul Simon
And numbers grabbed out of the ass of one Adam Rifkin.
John Dobbin
And we put a little sand in it to make the experience a little more
pleasant.
Hudsucker Proxy
And now, the sound of John Denver being strangled...
Monty Python
And of all the sacraments and of all the sins, the greatest of these is
love.
Michael Malone
And if you fool yourself, you will make Him happy. You really are
illogical.
Nirvana
And if you believe that one, I have a cheap IBM mini to sell you
The sales man
And my heaven will be a big hell, and I will walk through the front
door.
Peter Gabriel
And nobody likes a man who takes money from the government,
except maybe Marilyn Monroe, which is why the CIA killed her.
Scott Adams
Anything is possible, but only a few things actually happen.
Rich Rosen
Anything is possible on paper.
Ron McAfee
ANYTHING will burn with enough gasoline and dynamite.
Robert Heinlein
Anyone with money to burn will always find himself surrounded by Joe Ryan
people with matches.
Anything but history, for history must be false.
Sir Robert Walpole
APL is a write-only language.
Roy Keir
Anything done while honking your horn is legal.
Rules for driving in New
York
Anyone who thinks animals have no will... has never bathed a cat.
Jennifer L. Dziura
Anyone who thinks otherwise is a moron, because I said so.
Matt McIrvin
Avoid popularity if you would have peace.
Abraham Lincoln
Avoid running at all times.
Satchel Paige
As private parts to the Gods, are we, they play with us for their
sport.
Lord Melchett
Avoid overly pretentious job titles such as Lord of the Realm,
Defender of the Faith, Emperor of India or Director of Corporate
Planning.
The Official MBA
Handbook on business
cards
Atlee is a very modest man. And with reason.
Winston Churchill
At this they hauled ass back to Inker for a VAST pizza and gallons
of beer leaving Thomas to rust quietly.
Voxers
At this point, wanting to get my point across with the proper sign
language, I tried to strangle him.
Nikki Gustas
Architecture is petrified music.
Johann Wolfgang von
Goethe
Apathy on the individual level translates to insanity on the mass
level.
Douglas Hofstadter
As long as you have a keyboard, you have the key.
Persephone Silverthorn
As long as you can feel confused, then you know your mind is free. Norman Spinrad
As no less an authority than the Pat Robertson has stated that all
witches are in league with Satan, I would prepare to see a side of
Samantha that only comes to the surface after a few Zimas.
Scott Potter
As close to a man as you can come without shaving your palms.
Blackadder IV
As if you could kill time without injuring eternity.
H.D. Thoreau
As long as somebody let the cat out of the bag, we might as well
spell it correctly.
David Farber
As long as people masturbate, fart, and take dumps, people will
listen to my show.
Howard Stern
As it is more blessed to give than receive, so it must be more
blessed to receive than to give back.
Robert Frost
As good as the usual black-cube multi-story office building does
when sticking out like a sore thumb on a skyline of skiffs.
Rohit Khare
As I grow older and older, and totter toward the tomb, I find that I
care less and less who goes to bed with whom.
Dorothy L. Sayers
As long as war is regarded as wicked, it will always have its
fascination. When it is looked upon as vulgar, it will cease to be
popular.
Oscar Wilde
AOL and TimeWarner offer up the new org chart of a combined
Dave Pell
company. Case would be Chairman. Levin would be CEO. And Ted
Turner would maintain his role as being pretty darn odd.
AOL really pushes that bozo theme to the limit, though.
The Washington Post
Apparently the Amazing Screenwriting Mom has learned the fine
art of plot editing with that most useful of tools, the Nerf Knife.
Mr. Cranky
apparently the moon is in the house of seriously fucked up shit.
May Jawdat
Apparently, Mr. Gandhi has renounced his philosophy of nonviolence for a philosophy of whoop-ass.
Celebrity Deathmatch
Apparently part of the contest is getting a response out to them.
John Dobbin
Anything you can do to draw attention to your mouth is a good
thing.
Clueless
As far as we know, our computer has never had an undetected error. Weisert
As genitals to wanton boys are we to the gods. They play with us
for sport.
Blackadder II
As far as I am concerned, paranoia is nothing but heightened
awareness.
Jameel al Khafiz
As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to
kindle a light of meaning in the darkness of mere being.
C.G. Jung
Authorities are now saying that the war on drugs will be bigger than Jay Leno
World War II. Oh, great... more Time-Life books.
At first, I was opposed to the so-called satellite mind-control
transmissions.
Barbara Rush
At least one way of measuring the freedom of any society is the
Eric Idle
amount of comedy that is permitted, and clearly a healthy society
permits more satirical comment than a repressive, so that if comedy
is to function in some way as a safety release then it must obviously
deal with these taboo areas. This is part of the responsibility we
accord our licensed jesters, that nothing be excused the searching
light of comedy. If anything can survive the probe of humour it is
clearly of value, and conversely all groups who claim immunity
from laughter are claiming special privileges which should not be
granted.
At the fresh fish counter in the supermarket, you can buy real squid. Calvin
At the age of six I wanted to be a cook. At seven I wanted to be
Napoleon. And my ambition has been growing steadily ever since.
Salvador Dali
At some point, most engineers like myself start to think of
computers as just a tool, like a glorified screwdriver. Or, more
likely, they think of them as crappy pieces of junk, a necessary evil
Josh Carter
in modern society.
At that moment I knew. I knew the way you know about a good
melon.
When Harry Met Sally
At the rate America is decaying morally, we shall have to change
our national symbol from an eagle to a vulture.
Vance Havner
At the record company meeting, on their hands a dead star...
the Smiths
As we ascend the social ladder, viciousness wears a thicker mask.
Erich Fromm
As usual, I think they are discussing things in terms of a specific
implementation without the context of well-defined terms.
Ernest Prabhakar
As we acquire more knowldege, things do not become more
comprehensible, but more mysterious.
Albert Schweitzer
At Microsoft, they eat their own dog food. At Apple, we drink or
own Kool-Aid.
Ernest Prabhakar
As three laws were good enough for Newton, I have modestly
decided to stop there.
Arthur C. Clarke
An orgasm is just a reflex like a sneeze.
Dr. Ruth Westheimer
An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
Van Roy
An ounce of prevention is better than pounding the table.
David Farber
An ounce of mother is worth a ton of priest.
Spanish proverb
An ounce of hypocrisy is worth a pound of ambition.
Michael Korda
An ounce of emotion is equal to a ton of facts.
John Junor
An injury is much sooner forgiven than an insult.
Earl of Chesterfield
An intellectual is someone whose mind watches itself.
Camus
An infallible method of conciliating a tiger is to allow oneself to be
devoured.
Konrad Adenauer
An infinte number of rednecks, in an infinite number of pickup
Stephen Webb
trucks, firing an infinite number of shotguns at an infinte number of
road signs, will produce all the great works of litareture - in braille.
Astral projection is not a bad way to travel, although there is usually Woody Allen
a half-hour wait for luggage.
Asking him for a certain level of complexity would be like asking a Mr. Cranky
bison to crap silver dollars.
Asking me about analogies is like... okay, I may be the wrong man
to ask.
John Laroquette
At certain times I like sex. Like after a cigarette.
Rodney Dangerfield
At age fifty, every man has the face he deserves.
George Orwell
Babies are such a nice way to start people.
Don Herold
Back then... those were the naive youthful days of Street Fighter
II.... As opposed to the brutal harsh reality of Mortal Kombat II.
Andrew Crown
Baby...
The Late Elvis Presley.
Back of every achievement is a proud wife, and a surprised mother- Brooks Hays
in-law.
Back in the world of disposable emotion...
Howard Jones
baby-X holds the position of Rootless Cosmopolitan at Our Lady of baby-X
Intermittent Availability, where he is a student of the Philosophy of
Interference and the Persistence of Vision.
Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure.
Life is a daring adventure or nothing.
Helen Keller
Bad artists copy. Great artists steal.
Pablo Picasso
Auntie Em. Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog.
Dorothy
Bad design should make you physically ill.
Rohit Khare
Bad taste is simply saying the truth before it should be said.
Mel Brooks
Baldric, you have the intellectual capacity of a dirty potato.
Edmund Blackadder
Ball handling and dribbling are my strongest weaknesses.
David Thompson
Back off, Grammar Nazi.
Megan Coughlin
Ask not what I can do for you. Ask what you can do for me.
Jerry Seinfeld
Ask not for whom the Bell tolls, and you will pay only the stationto-station rate.
Howard Kandel
As we rehearsed, poetry first, sausage later.
Blackadder III
As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the
demand.
Josh Billings
As sure as you can steer a train you can change your fate.
They Might Be Giants
As you cruise the information highway, do not be afraid of the
strange men you see walking on the shoulders, muttering to
themselves. They work for us.
Tony Tribby
Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men
should be happier than others.
Oscar Wilde
Back on the job just to earn a few bob for good liquor and grub at
the Kilkenny Pub.
Rugburns
As you know, we take requests for terminations very seriously.
Yours was no exception. In our continuing efforts to provide the
very best customer service to out-of-state clients, your request has
been granted. The requested subject was taken behind the barn and
shot.
Jeremy Elson
As you wish.
Princess Bride
As you ramble through life, brother, no matter what your goal, keep Murray Banks
your eye upon the doughnut, and not upon the hole.
Ah, my trombone. Let me show you how it works.
Riker
Conventions are more dangerous enemies of truth than lies.
Nietzsche
Context is important, but not nearly as important as content.
Adam Rifkin
Consuming Jaegermeister is like drinking liquid valium.
The Spot
Creative minds have always been known to survive any kind of bad Anna Freud
training.
Crash programs fail because they are based on the theory that, with
nine women pregnant, you can get a baby a month.
Wernher von Braun
Creation is quite different from sex, unless you take everything to a Ken Nagle
metaphoric level, which if you do, you should never allow your
children to play with Legos.
Contemplation is the fornication of the mind.
Gary Benson
Cool is only three letters away from Fool.
Mike Muir
Cool, a toilet. They should put more toilets in videos.
Beavis
Corners wear off, said the big O, and shapes change.
Shel Silverstein
Copy nature and you infringe on the work of our Lord. Interpret
nature and you are an artist.
Jacques Lipchitz
Creativity in programming is to find deep simplicities in a complex
process.
Harlan Mills
Confession is good for the soul only in the sense that a tweed coat is Peter de Vries
good for dandruff.
Condoms only work during the school year.
Rush Limbaugh
Courage is grace under pressure.
Ernest Hemingway
Covered in hope, and vaseline, still cannot fix this broken machine.
Nine Inch Nails
Conceit causes more conversation than wit.
La Rouchefoucauld
Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.
Pablo Picasso
Confucious say too much.
recent Chinese saying
Computers are the tools of the devil. It is as simple as that. There is
no monotheism strong enough that it cannot be shaken by Unix or
any Microsoft product. The devil is real. He lives inside C
programs.
Phil Greenspun
Creativity is the juxtaposition of formerly unrelated ideas to product The Journal of NIH
new ideas.
Research
Creativity is piercing the mundane to find the marvelous.
Bill Moyers
Creditors have better memories than debtors.
Ben Franklin
Crime does not pay... as well as politics.
A.E. Newman
Crime is a job. Sex is a job. Growing up is a job. School is a job.
Going to parties is a job. Religion is a job. Being creative is a job.
David Byrne
Credit is what keeps you from knowing how far past broke you are. Zingers
Creature from the black latrine.
Blackadder II
Each success only buys an admission ticket to a more difficult
problem.
Henry Kissinger
fuck fuck fuck. sigh. kill. whoa, maybe I should like do my work.
Adam Rixey
FTR, it makes no difference with his illy mechanism. The cat is
half-dead until opens the box.
Rohit Khare
Furious activity is no substitute for understanding.
H. H. Williams
fuck. thats it. emotion, mindset, verb, action, everything.
Chris Heiser
Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy
was a PUNK ASS degenerate HACK, GOOSESTEPPING around
in his NEON GREEN LACED DOC MARTINS, screaming
WAGNERIAN OPERA with SLIM JIMS cramed in his NOSE.
Paul Mazaitis
Fuck you and the prepositional phrase you rode in on.
John Jantos
Fuck them, get addicted to us.
Jose Calvo
Furry four-legged male cheese lover seeking mate.
David Letterman
Gimme some sugar, baby.
Army of Darkness
Gimme, gimme, gimme more donuts....
Elvis
Funk at a whole new level. The rhythm is the bass, and the bass is
the treble.
Warren G. and Nate Dogg
Fun is a good thing but only when it spoils nothing better.
George Santayana
Fun is Nuf spelled backwards.
Adam Rifkin
Funky... Unexpected... Introspective.
Debbie Gibson newsletter
DEBHEAD
Gak. I remember SUIF now, I think, and not fondly...
Rohit Khare
Garbage In
Gospel Out.
Garish is not enough.
Howard Rheingold
Gave his life for tourism.
Steve Martin on King Tut
Genetic engineering is like legos, only with really small blocks.
Dmitri Schoeman
General flames go to alt.flame. Flaming the entire AOL community From the alt.sex.stories
goes to alt.aol-sucks.
FAQ
General notions are generally wrong.
Lady Mary Wortley
Montagu
Genius hath electric power which earth can never tame.
Lydia M. Child
Genius is an African that dreams of snow.
Vladimir Nabokov
Genius does what it must. Talent does what it can.
Emerson
Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent
perspiration.
Thomas Alva Edison
Genius is another word for magic, and the whole point of magic is
that it is inexplicable.
Margot Fonteyn
Genius is pain.
John Lennon
Crotch Masculine Deodorant Spray. When a man wants to feel
good, he reaches for his Crotch.
Steve Archer
Dan Quayle hopes that, with luck, someone will step forward with a Jay Leno
donor appendix.
Dan Quayle is the Rosetta Stone of American comedy.
Dennis Miller
CRT emissions are physically addictive.
Cecil Adams
Cutting the space budget really restores my faith in humanity. It
eliminates dreams, goals, and ideals and lets us get straight to the
business of hate, debauchery, and self-annihilation.
Johnny Hart
Cut life support to all quarters with children
Picard
Death is harsh and cruel... not some cute chick.
The Maxx
Curiosity killed the Kerouac cat.
Bad Religion
Cute animals and kids never go out of style.
John Dobbin
Computer science is too important to be left to computer scientists.
a recent Caltech provost
Chicks in their twenties tend to be prolific writers. They generally
have a pretty easy to read style which is what I like.
John Dobbin
Chickens, like two-edged swords, often come home to roost.
Suzy Kohout
Chicken. Egg. Me.
John Dobbin
Cheese Flavored Six Pack...
John Dobbin contemplates
rock band names
Dammit. i wish there were some sheep around here i could fuck just Chris Grimes
to spite you.
Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess
is why several of us died of tuberculosis.
Jack Handey
Dance with the one that brought you.
Ken Thompson
Consider the postage stamp. Its usefulness consists in the ability to
stick to one thing till it gets there.
Josh Billings
David Hasselhoff and optical storage technology make this all
possible.
Anu Kapoor
Crime is down, and oddly enough, so is tourism.
Brain Candy
consider your own movement on earth. Even if you are walking in a Alfred Lawson
straight line, the earth itself is rotating about its axis and revolving
around the sun, which in turn is revolving around the galaxy, which
is in turn moving about the universe. So your true movement in
space is nothing like a straight line. It is more like a Zig, a Zag, and
then a Swirl.
Consistent mediocrity, delivered on a large scale, is much more
profitable than anything on a small scale, no matter how efficient it
might be.
Unix-Haters Handbook
Consciousness is just a stupid hack.
Danny Hillen
Conservatism is the policy of make no change and consult your
grandmother when in doubt.
Woodrow Wilson
Computers save time like kudzu prevents soil erosion.
Al Castanoli
Conscience is the inner voice that warns us somebody is looking.
H.L. Mencken
Considering what a wonderful invention computer are, they
certainly have a way of making you feel like pouring coffee into
their private parts and listening to them scream.
Dave Barry
Considering that over half the traffic on this list is in response to
postings or forwards from others, I do believe that you may have a
better crack conncection than the rest of us, and suggest you kick
down with your contact before the IS Death Squad opens a Touble
Ticket on yer ass.
Dana McIntosh
Consistency requires you to be as ignorant today as you were a year Bernard Berenson
ago.
Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends.
H.L. Mencken
Dear DEC, Sending me the README from the patch is not going
to fix my problem. It will only anger me. Much like waving a steak
just out of reach of a hungry bear. Yer buddy, jim
Jim Zelenka
Death is the mother of all beauty.
Wallace Stevens
Decision is a sharp knife that cut clean and straight. Indecision is a
dull one that hacks and tears and leaves ragged edges behind.
Ian McKeithen
Decide promptly, but never give any reasons. Your decisions may
be right, but your reason are sure to be wrong.
Lord Mansfield
Dear scroll bar. You are wonderful. My days have benefited from
Scott Berkun
the glory of your existence. I fully appreciate you and your amazing
powers. May all of my applications be graced with your presence.
dear women, stop being evil. love, may
May Jawdat
Debugging is parallelizable.
Jeff Dutky
Dead puppies can be lots of fun. Collect and trade them with your
friends.....
Ken Nagle
Darkness envelopes the earth, but people in Portland and Seattle
Jay Leno
notice no difference.
Dare to be stupid.
Weird Al Yankovic
Dear God... this... this... parachute is a KNAPSACK...
Friends
date of easter indicator is crossing the line from function to
frivolity. imagine if you will, an M car with cupholders. oh wait.
Vijay Gill
Gifts are very hard to get, much much harder than grants.
Mani Chandy
FoRK is nothing more than high tech Pro Wrestling. And Pro
Wrestling is an extrapolation of the society in which we live.
Tim Byars
Four people were killed, one seriously, and eight more received
slight injuries...
Japan Times
Freedom is the right to be wrong, not the right to do wrong.
John Diefenbaker
Fortune favors the bold.
Virgil
Fortune cookies get broken before they do anything profound. So
do a lot of people.
Adam Rifkin and
Samantha Crouse
Fortune and love befriend the bold.
Ovid
Fortunately, the second-to-last bug has just been fixed.
Ray Simard
Freedom defined is freedom denied.
The Illuminatus
Freedom is just chaos with better lighting.
Alan Dean Foster
Give me my golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you
can keep my golf clubs and the fresh air.
Jack Benny
Give me somewhere to stand, and I will move the Earth.
Archimedes
Fragrance... is our strongest link to the past, our closest fellow
traveler to the future.
Tom Robbins
Freedom is nothing else but a chance to be better.
Albert Camus
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY. IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH.
BACKSPACE IS DELETE.
Joshua Schachter
Frame is a good enough piece of software that there are actually
rewards to taking an intelligent and formal approach to your
problem. But if you want to be stupid, you can think of Frame as a
version of Microsoft Word with most of the bugs taken out.
Philip Greenspun
France has culture but no civilization. England has civilization but
no culture. The United States has neither. Canada has both.
Robin Mathews
From each according to his abilities, to each according to his needs. Karl Marx
Freedom of the press belongs to those who own one.
A. J. Liebling
Freedom without discipline breeds laziness and apathy.
Adam Rifkin
Freedom of the press is limited to those who own one.
Liebling
Freedom of speech, freedom of thought, and the wisdom to use
Mark Twain
neither.
Freud said that the essence of the comic was the conservation of
psychic energy. But then again Freud never played second house
Friday night at the Glasgow Empire.
Ken Dodd
For it is the doom of men that they forget.
Merlin
Freud is the father of psychoanalysis. It has no mother, by the way.
Adam Curry
Friendship is always a sweet responsibility, never an opportunity.
Kahlil Gibran
From the sublime to the ridiculous is but a step.
Napoleon Bonaparte
Friendship, of itself a holy tie, is made more sacred by adversity.
Charles Caleb Colton
From the back to the middle and around again.
Robert Harley
Goths are sort of like mimes with long hair and trenchcoats. Neat.
Adam Rixey
Got a bowling ball in my stomach. Got a desert in my mouth.
Tori Amos
Governments never learn. Only people learn.
Milton Friedman
Grad school is the snooze button on the clock-radio of life.
John Rogers
Got a machine head. Better than the rest.
Bush
Great deeds are usually wrought at great risks.
Herodotus
Gun control is punishing law-abiding citizens in their constitutional Newt Gingrich
rights. The difference between Poland and Afghanistan is the right
to bear arms. Had Germany the right to bear arms, there might have
been no Holocaust.
Hanging out with people more pathetic than you are interferes with
your ability to have self-pity.
Rohit Khare
Happiness is a conscious choice, not an automatic response.
Mildred Barthel
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the
courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to hide the
bodies of the people I had to kill because they pissed me off.
Jeff Wayman
Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small
minds discuss people.
Ernest Prabhakar
Grace is the absence of everything that indicates pain or difficulty,
hesitation or incongruity.
William Hazlitt
Grub first, then ethics.
Bertolt Brecht
Greed captures the essence of the evolutionary spirit.
Wall Street
Greed will save our paper company, and that other malfunctioning
company, the United States of America.
Wall Street
Great works are performed not by strength, but perseverance.
Samuel Johnson
Growing up is all about finding out that people are gay.
Erin van Yuga
grep... grep... grep...
frog with UNIX stuck in
its throat
Groening has managed to tap into the wellsprings of good, oldfashioned, no-political-agenda orneriness that fueled his earliest
work.
Ken Tucker
Grown men do not need leaders.
Edward Abbey
Gum would be perfection.
Friends
Guest, like fish, begin to smell after three days.
Benjamin Franklin
Gentlemen, listen to me slowly.
Samuel Goldwyn
Geoff got sued for sexual harassment and all I got was this lousy tshirt.
Anu Kapoor
Get stoned
Drink liquid cement.
Gentleman, include me out.
Samuel Goldwyn
Genius not only diagnoses the situation but supplies the answers.
Robert Graves
Gerald Ford and George Bush just went to the golf course to kill a
couple of spectators.
David Letterman
Genius without education is like silver in the mine.
Ben Franklin
Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you
please.
Mark Twain
Get next to a clue and hope the wind blows, dude.
Fitz McKinzie
Get out of my facial.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Get forgiveness now
tomorrow you may no
longer feel guilty.
From womb to tomb, you suffer.
Rush Limbaugh
Get down. Shut up.
Forrest Gump
Get busy living, or get busy dying.
The Shawshank
Redemption
Get a REAL problem.
Kara Freel
George Washington was first in war, first in peace... and the first to
have his birthday juggled to make a long weekend.
Ashley Cooper
ghoughpteighbteau spells potato.
Jan L.A. Van de
Snepscheut
Girls who are boys who like boys to be girls dig their girls love
their boys dig their boys love their girls.
Blur
Getting melted down by heat rays would have been better. That was Joe R. Lansdale
at least quick, but being bored to death was sort of like being
nibbled to death by ducks.
Getting information off the Internet is like taking a drink from a fire Mitch Kapor
hydrant.
Getting disemboweled always makes me kind of mad.
Weird Al Yankovic
Give a small boy a hammer and he will find that everything he
encounters needs pounding.
Abraham Kaplan
Give every man thy ear but few thy voice.
William Shakespeare
Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day... teach a man to fish
and you feed him for life.
Chinese proverb
Give light and the darkness will disappear of itself.
Desiderius Erasmus
Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the
world.
Kaiser Wilhelm
Give me chastity and self-restraint... but not yet.
Saint Augustine
For the man sound in body and serene of mind, there is no such
thing as bad weather.
George Gissing
For the moon never beams without bringing the dreams of the
beautiful Annabel Lee.
Edgar Allen Poe
For another, you can hit people with it. This is one of the key
qualities for a good web product, and the paper weight here really
delivers.
Faisal Jawdat
For best results, wash in cold water separately, hang dry and iron
with warm iron. For not so good results, drag behind car through
puddles, blow-dry on roofrack.
Laundry instructions on a
shirt made by HEET
For fools rush in where angels fear to tread.
Alexander Pope
Foreign Aid - taxing poor people in rich countries for the benefit of
rich people in poor countries.
Bernard Rosenberg
For visions come not to polluted eyes.
Mary Howitt
For every person that believes there is an easy way out, there are a
hundred and one persons waiting to stop him.
Mephisto
For every complex problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat,
and wrong.
H. L. Mencken
For every credibility gap, there is a gullibility fill.
R. Clopton
For NASA, space is still a high priority.
Vice President Dan Quayle
For here we are not afraid to follow the truth wherever it may lead,
nor to tolerate any error so long as reason is left free to combat it.
Thomas Jefferson
For I am a Bear of Very Little Brain and long words Bother me.
Pooh
For having lived long, I have experienced many instances of being
obliged by better information or fuller consideration to change
opinions.
Ben Franklin
For people who no longer need the magazine.
ad for Penthouse brand
condoms
For most of history, Anonymous was a woman.
Virginia Woolf
For of those to whom much is given, much is required.
Acts
For the egoist has so far the advantage over every other species of
devotee, that his idol is ever present.
Catherine Gore
For security reasons, the mailing list, all archives, the computers it
is maintained on, and the members who post to it, have been
shredded.
Faisal Jawdat
For the female of the species is more deadly than the male.
Rudyard Kipling
For there is no sea, with out the dolphin
Oppian
For something that does not exist, the Internet Engineering Task
Force has had quite an impact.
Scott Bradner
For some women, shopping is a sex compensation, so the shop must Lady Dartmouth
seduce the customer.
Forgiving comes from within. You had the power to go home all
this time if you wanted to.
Adam Rifkin
Forget the badminton, stick with the math. No one ever sticks an
algorithm up your butt.
Kevin and Bean
For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow, but Johnny Carson
phone calls taper off.
Forgive and forget.
Cervantes
Cherry blossoms fall. Cherry blossoms fall and fall. Cherry
blossoms fall.
Lloyd Wood
During a carnival men put masks over their masks.
Xavier Forneret
Due to circumstances beyond your control, you are master of your
fate and captain of your soul.
Fortune
Each generation wastes a little more of the future with greed and
lust for riches.
Donald Marquis
Due to several of these sorts of comments, you leave me no choice
but to declare a Monty Python Interdiction Zone. Anyone quoting
Monty Python will be subjected to an enema comprising of pureed
John Cleese and Terry Gilliam, soaked with gasoline, and set on
fire.
Richard Bullington
During my eighty-seven years, I have witnessed a whole succession Bernard Baruch
of technological revolutions. But none of them has done away with
the need for character in the individual or the ability to think.
During sex my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other
night she called me from a hotel.
Rodney Dangerfield
Due to the postal strike, the assignment is extended to one week
from today. I do not give out extensions without good reason.
Forbes Burkowski
Dude, your company is teetering on the very BRINK of
technological RELEVANCE. Now is not the time to make feeble
sport of the company whose BOOTED HEEL is at your THROAT.
Dan Martinez
Duct tape is like the force...it has a light side and a dark side, and it
holds the universe together.
Carl Zwanzig
Draft beer is best. So should it be with writing.
Adam Rifkin
Down that path lies madness. On the other hand, the road to hell is
paved with melting snowballs.
Larry Wall
Dream tomorrow. Cherish yesterday. Live today.
Maggie Keenan
Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.
Mark Twain
Doughnut holes are made of the same thing as the hole in your toilet Megan Coughlin
seat, but nobody ever publicizes that.
Draw SOMETHING resembling ANYTHING.
When Harry Met Sally
Drama is life with all the dull bits cut out.
Alfred Hitchcock
Drink is the curse of the land. It makes you fight with your
neighbour. It makes you shoot at your landlord... and it makes you
miss him.
Irish Proverb
Drink and cook the prodigal son, fondue forks for everybody.
They Might Be Giants
Don Ho will not emerge from the Valley of Darkness.
LL Cool J
Dying is a wild night and a new road.
Emily Dickinsom
Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have
nothing whatever to do with it.
William Somerset
Maugham
Dweezle Dwyzle Dwazle Dwome. Time for this one to come home. Tooter the Turtle
During times of crisis the more timid elements run for cover.
Hudsucker Proxy
Each person needs different limits to set him or her free. Finding
yours is what practice is all about.
W. A. Mathieu
Each place has its own advantages - Heaven for the climate and
Hell for society.
Mark Twain
Each small task of everyday life is part of the total harmony of the
universe.
St. Theresa of Lisieux
Each of us is the center of the universe. So is everyone else.
ee cummings
Each of us sleazes by at our own pace.
David Farber
Duty largely consists of pretending that the trivial is essential.
John Fowles
Drive offensively, the life you save may be your own.
Car Wars
Drug Deaths Are Shooting Up.
Headline in The Oregonian
Driving fast on the track does not scare me. What scares me is when Juan Manuel Fangio
I drive on the highway I get passed by some idiot who thinks he is
Fangio.
Drugs are for the weak. Yoohoo is for the hardcore.
Hayley Asay
Drugs instantiate sex, lies and videotapes.
the ARs
DOS is the greatest computer virus ever written
UNIX user
Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they
want and deserve to get it good and hard.
H. L. Mencken
Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the
people are right more than half of the time.
E.B. White
Democracy is the bludgeoning of the people, by the people, for the
people.
Oscar Wilde
Democracy is not a spectator sport.
Bill Bradley
Democracy is grounded upon so childish a complex of fallacies that H.L. Mencken
they must be protected by a rigid system of taboos, else even
halfwits would argue it to pieces. Its first concern must thus be to
penalize the free play of ideas.
Democracy is good. I say this because other systems are worse.
Jawaharlal Nehru
Deeds, not stones, are the true monuments of the great.
John L. Motley
Define self-reference for me, please.
Megan Coughlin
Demonstrating, once again, that subtle difference between creativity Dogbert
and complex stupidity.
Democracy is a device that insures we shall be governed no better
than we deserve.
George Bernard Shaw
Democracy is a form of government in which it is permitted to
wonder aloud what the country could do under first-class
management.
Senator Soaper
Dinner music at a festive banquet for great men is the most tasteless Kant
absurdity that debauchery could have devised.
Democracy is a form of government that substitutes election by the
incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few.
G.B. Shaw
Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by H.L. Mencken
Jackasses.
Dem special effects is FAN tastic.
David Letterman
DEMENTED AND SAD, but social.
The Breakfast Club
Democracy gives every man the right to be his own oppressor.
James Russell Lowell
Describing the Internet as the Network of Networks is like calling
the Space Shuttle, a thing that flies.
John Lester
Determine that the thing can and shall be done, and then we shall
find the way.
Abraham Lincoln
Deny your maker.
Alice in Chains
destroy destroy. stand up. walk around
Paul Mazaitis
Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage.
Smashing Pumpkins
Determine what you want, then resolve to pay the price to get it.
Bunker Hunt
Develop aversion in PVM.
Dan Meiron
Diamonds are chunks of coal that stuck to their job.
Mary Jess
Devils can be driven out of the heart by the touch of hand on hand,
or mouth on mouth.
Tennessee Williams
Dennis Rodman is the Rohit of the NBA.
Joe Kiniry
Dinosaurs destroys man. Women rule the earth...
Jurassic Park
Diddly squat, bits, vision, and entertainment value.
Robert Harley
Double Latte Bolivian Mint Crack With a Touch of Angel Dust,
Shaken not stirred. To Go.
Neal Katz
Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is an absurd one.
Voltaire
Digital technology is the universal solvent of intellectual property
rights.
Tom Parmenter
Dignity is like a top hat. Neither is very much use when you are
standing on it.
Chistopher Hollis
Diligent U.S. censors have managed to find sexually-explicit
pictures on computers in Finland, France and elsewhere, and have
been offended by them for hours.
Jim Warren
Digital information lasts forever... or five years, whichever comes
first.
Jeff Rotherberg
Digging your own grave is fun, making your own coffin is morbid.
John Dobbin
Dig yourself a hole and bury it.
David Farber
Diffusing computation. Check your spelling dude, the word is
CONfusing.
John Dobbin
Dig him up and shake his hand, appreciate the man.
They Might Be Giants
Differentials are the ghosts of departed quantities.
Alfred North Whitehead
Did we ever...
When Harry Met Sally
Discipline is remembering what you want.
David Campbell
Come down off your charlie horse.
David Farber
Come in the Bahamas.
Crazy People
Come get me when they show the shower scene in Dressed to Kill.
PCU
Come on. The first thing Uncle Eli teaches the little sperm in
Reeboks is how to sneak into the ball park.
The Opposite Sex
Coming in second place just means you were the first person to
lose.
Jeff Hawkins
Coming up with a Cool Name is the hardest part of writing a new
program.
Rob Earhart
Chaos often breeds life when order breeds habit.
Henry Adams
Chaos is a friend of mine.
Bob Dylan
Character is much easier kept than recovered.
Thomas Paine
Change is bad. Give me bills every time.
John Dobbin
Champagne for my real friends, real pain for my sham friends.
Tom Waits
Change is certain. Progress is not.
E.H. Carr
Come to think of it, there are already a million monkeys on a
million typewriters, and Usenet is NOTHING like Shakespeare.
Blair Houghton
Change your socks whenever we stop.
Forrest Gump
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Robert C. Gallagher
Coincidences are spiritual puns.
G.K. Chesterton
Commitment, n. Commitment can be illustrated by a breakfast of
ham and eggs. The chicken is involved, and the pig is committed.
Richard Knapp
Computer science has the unfortunate characteristic that many of
the pioneers in the field are still alive and doing research.
Adam Rifkin
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is
about telescopes.
Edsger W. Dijkstra
Common sense is genius dressed in its working clothes.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Commiting suicide would be the last thing for me to do...
Herman Finkers
Commit drive-by shootings on the information super-highway.
Bruce Sherrod
Common sense is instinct. Enough of it is genius.
George Bernard Shaw
Competition brings out the best in products and the worst in people. David Sarnoff
College football is a game which would be much more interesting if H.L. Mencken
the faculty played instead of the students, and even more interesting
if the trustees played. There would be a great increase in broken
arms, legs, and necks, and simultaneously an appreciable
diminution in the loss to humanity.
Colours seen by candlelight will not look the same by day.
E.B. Browning
Completion of any task within the allocated time and budget does
not bring credit upon the performance personnel
it merely proves that the
task was easier than
expected.
Compassion is no substitute for justice.
Rush Limbaugh
Competition brings out the worst in people and the best in products. David Sarnov
Comprehension is a problem here. You want to begin your
Fran Connor
paragraph with a topic sentence, followed by two or three sentences
that illustrate your point. Your final sentence should sum up and
conclude what you said. Your above assault on English syntax
should not be tolerated...
Chili peppers burn my gut.
Side Hackers
Children make the most desirable opponents in Scrabble as they are Fran Lebowitz
both easy to beat and fun to cheat.
Children have to be educated, but they have also to be left to
educate themselves.
Ernest Dimnet
Children have more need of models then of critics.
Joseph Joubert
Childhood is short and maturity is forever.
Bill Watterson
Children need encouragement. So if a kid gets an answer right, tell
him it was a lucky guess. That way, he develops a good, lucky
feeling.
Jack Handey
Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it.
Harold S. Hulbert
Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a
function.
Garrison Keillor
Cauliflower is nothing but Cabbage with a College Education.
Mark Twain
Caught a bolt of lightning, cursed the day he let it go.
Pearl Jam
Checking that europa actually HAS gcc and cc, an extremely
suspect proposition given this department.
Rohit Khare
Caution. Blade is sharp. Keep out of children.
Darren Leigh
Children and the simple-hearted are nearer to God than most of us.
Maurice Francis Egan
Chess is as elaborate a waste of human intelligence as you can find
outside an advertising agency.
Raymond Chandler
Christianity has not been tried and found wanting, it has been found G. K. Chesterton
difficult and left untried.
Children are like wet cement. Whatever falls on them makes an
impression.
Haim Ginott
Christ, what a liar. Things like that just want me to spew half
digested Rice Chex all over my office. In point of fact, the only
thing that holds me back is the knowledge that a good, nutritious
breakfast is the key to a happy and productive day.
Martin Frankel
Christmas is when the children get something, and the parents pay.
A deficit is when the parents get something, and the children pay.
Mike Harris
CBS executives are a more advanced form of weasel.
David Letterman
Check her passport or green card. If she is from Varga, then she
must be a Vargin.
Michael Lianez
Change is always powerful. Let your hook be always cast. In the
pool where you least expect it, will be fish.
Ovid
Chance favours the prepared mind.
Louis Pasteur
Chance favors only the prepared mind.
Louis Pasteur
Cars are the best things. You just sit in them, and they take you
places.
Tara Morrison
Cats are essentially narcissistic masochists.
Paul Mazaitis
Character may be manifested in great moments, but it is created in
the small ones.
Phillip Brooks
Charity sees the need not the cause.
German Proverb
Dogmatism is puppism come to its full growth.
Douglas Jerrold
Civility is at the mild end of morality.
Bill Maher
Civilization is revving itself into a pathologically short attention
span. The trend might be coming from the acceleration of
technology, the short-horizon perspective of market-driven
economics, the next-election perspective of democracies, or the
distractions of personal multi-tasking. All are on the increase.
www.longnow.org
Clarity is my curse.
John Dobbin
Civilized man conceals from himself the extent of his subordination Camille Paglia
to nature. The grandeur of culture, the consolation of religion
absorb his attention and win his faith. But let nature shrug, and all is
in ruin. Fire, flood, lightning, tornado, hurricane, volcano,
earthquake - anywhere at any time. Disaster falls upon the good and
bad. Civilized life requires a state of illusion.
Clasp the hands and know the thoughts of men in other lands.
John Masefield
Chunky bar breath and your Enquiring mind, when I see you in the
morning looking like pork rind.
Rugburns
Clearly, I need to start soliciting fashion advice from Martin.
Dan Martinez
Coffee without brandy is a terrible mix.
Sailor of the Seven Seas
Close enough is subject to negotiation.
Joel Saltz
Cluefulness is neccessarily correlated with ambition to achieve
anything. The first rank at least has that much of a self-selection
bias in its favor.
Rohit Khare
Clinton got his harrassment and whitewater cases mixed up, and
accidentally shredded a pair of panties.
Jay Leno
Clinton slings bullshit better than a street sweeper in Pamplona.
Dennis Miller
Clinton wants it both ways more than Dennis Rodman... He makes
Ronald Reagan look like Steve Buscemi... Deep down, we are all
Hillary.
Dennis Miller
Clinton and I exist in the same concentric circle of the mularkey
dartboard.
Dennis Miller
Clothing makes the man, but no clothing makes the woman.
John Dobbin
Cloud nine gets all the publicity, but cloud eight is cheaper, less
crowded, and has a better view.
George Carlin
Clothe an idea in words and it loses its freedom of movement.
Egon Friedell
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on
society.
Mark Twain
Climb every mountain, ford every stream, follow every rainbow till The Sound of Music
you find your dream.
Hamburgers are a medium rarely well-done.
Boston Common
Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
Sextus Aurelius
A well-balanced breakfast is an important start to a good
ressurection.
Kristie Home
A whole hog is better than no hole at all.
David Farber
Actually, I was just going to say that Married with Children was my Jon Ferro
example of the pinnacle of edge-losing-ness.
Actually, I think what would be most appropriate for this forum is if Majdi Abbas
we were all to shut up now.
A woman is a lot like a refrigerator. Six feet tall, three hundred
pounds, they make ice.
Homer Simpson
A wise man hears one word and understands two.
Jewish proverb
A wedding ring is like a tourniquet. It cuts off your circulation.
MAD Magazine
A wise man gets more use from his enemies than a fool from his
friends.
Baltasar Gracian
Actually I have real references, they work on commission.
Mark Denovich
Actually Digital threatened to sue Microsoft over having copied
Robert Harley
large chunks of VMS for WNT, unless they keep an Alpha version
of WNT alive... that was before they got the pictures of Bilbo Gates
doing heroinn acid with a call-girl from Proxima Centauri.
Actually Nostril Weasels has a certain mystique to it as well...
John Dobbin
Actual happiness always looks pretty squalid in comparison with
the overcompensations for misery.
Aldous Huxley
Actually, for those of you counting at home, two war crimes. ... Of
course, only the losers face war-crime tribunals.
Sam Greenfield
Actually, cats do this to protect you from gnomes who come and
steal your breath while you sleep.
John Dobbin
A wise person makes his own decisions, a weak one obeys public
opinion.
Chinese proverb
A witty saying proves nothing.
Voltaire
Aaahhhh... nothing like a fine breakfast of snapple, cheetos, and
rolaids...
Rohit Khare
Absence makes the heart grow fonder
of somebody else.
A woman, like a good piece of music, should have a solid end.
F. Schubert
About the time we think we can make ends meet, somebody moves
the ends.
Herbert Hoover
Above all else, hire the best people. If you choose to ignore this
advice, I will give it to you again in six months for twice the price.
Faisal Jawdat
About morals, I know only that what is moral is what you feel good Ernest Hemingway
after and what is immoral is what you feel bad after.
A very interesting person to cuss and discuss with.
Kendall Bullen
A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses
interest in students.
John Ciardi
A waste is a terrible thing to mind.
Custodians of Love Canal
A typedef name was a complete surprise to me at this point in your
program.
Apple MPW C compiler
error message
A true friend is the greatest of all blessings, and the one that we take Franois de La
the least care of all to acquire.
Rochefoucauld
A vacuum with nipples.
Otto Preminger on Marilyn
Monroe
A vacuum is a hell of a lot better than some of the stuff that nature
replaces it with.
Tennessee Williams
A violent man will die a violent death.
Lao Tsu
A warm smile is the universal language of kindness.
William Arthur Ward
A process which led from the amoeba to man appeared to the
philosophers to be obviously a progress, though whether the
amoeba would agree with this opinion is not known.
Bertrand Russell
A prohibition law strikes a blow at the very principles upon which
our government was founded.
Abraham Lincoln
Acid
better living through
chemistry.
Acting is the most minor of gifts and not a very high-class way to
earn a living. After all, Shirley Temple could do it at the age of
four.
Katharine Hepburn
Action may not always bring happiness, but there is no happiness
without action.
Benjamin Disraeli
A politician is an animal which can sit on a fence and yet keep both H.L. Mencken
ears to the ground.
A relationship is a pervading and changing mystery. Brutal or
lovely, the mystery waits for people wherever they go, whatever
extreme they run to.
Eudora Welty
A real man would not shoplift the pootie from a single mother.
Jerry Maguire
A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for
Joey Adams
nothing.
A repo man spends his life getting into tense situations.
Repo Man
A red light means the next six cars may go through the intersection. Rules for driving in New
York
A politician would do well to remember that he has to live with his
conscience longer than he does with his constituents.
Melvin R. Laird
A poet who reads his own verse in public may have other nasty
habits.
Robert Heinlein
A positive anything is better than a negative nothing.
Jerry Maguire
Adam Forrest Rifkin. Feminist radar fork.
Robert Harley
Adam was the only man who, when he said a good thing, knew that Mark Twain
nobody had said it before him.
Adam Forrest Rifkin. I staff mirror, naked.
Robert Harley
Adam Forrest Rifkin. First naked air form.
Robert Harley
Addiction is a drag.
Dennis Hopper
Academic politics is the most vicious and bitter form of politics,
because the stakes are so low.
Wallace Sayre
Academics get paid for being clever, not for being right.
Donald Norman
Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the William James
consequences of any misfortune.
Adam Forrest Rifkin. Offer radiant smirk.
Robert Harley
Adam Forrest Rifkin. Skim torrid fanfare.
Robert Harley
Adam Forrest Rifkin. Infrared skirt foam.
Robert Harley
Adam Forrest Rifkin. Modern skirt affair.
Robert Harley
Access to power must be confined to those who are not in love with Plato
it.
Actions lie louder than words.
Carolyn Wells
A woman will do anything for a man she once loved except love
him again.
Oscar Wilde
Everything inside is eatable, I mean edible, I mean everything can
be eaten.
Willy Wonka
Everyone, please note that you are supposed to consult Ted for a
Eva Crider
fair assessment of everything on art. He obviously knows more than
anyone else about the aesthetic value of everything.
Everything in the world may be endured except continual
prosperity.
Johann Wolfgang von
Goethe
Everything goes over your head. You should go to Jamaica and
become a limbo dancer.
Blackadder IV
Everyone who knows how to read has it in their power to magnify
themselves, to multiply the ways in which they exist, to make their
life full, significant, and interesting.
Aldous Huxley
Everything considered, work is less boring than amusing onself.
Charles Baudelaire
Everything you see I owe to spaghetti.
Sophia Loren
Everything now seems to be under federal control except the
national debt and the budget.
Bob Goddard
Everything must degenerate into work if anything is to happen.
Peter Drucker
Everything right is wrong again.
They Might be Giants
Everything right is wrong again, just like in the long long tray.
They Might Be Giants
Faith is an ocean you can walk on.
Dime Store Prophets
Everything is deeply intertwingled.
Ted Nelson
Everything should be real-time, OO and distributed. Well, almost
everything.
Roman Ginis
Everything flows.
Heraclitus
Everything he says is either wrong, trivial, or a product name.
Andrew Lines
Excess on occasion is exhilarating. It prevents moderation from
acquiring the deadening effect of a habit.
William Somerset
Maugham
Excess is bad in every way.
Oleg Cassini
Evolution is the natural way to program.
Tom Ray
Excuse me, while I kiss the sky...
Jimi Hendrix
Excuse me. AFU is a newsgroup. A fact is something completely
different.
Gregory Franklin
Everywhere you leak, the world hangs a bucket.
Gallagher
Evidence refutes liberalism.
Rush Limbaugh
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
Steven Wright
Everywhere I look, nothing but redshifts, other homepages receding Brian Upton
from me at the speed of light.
Evolution has a lot of dinosaurs in its path.
Carver Mead
Everywhere I went, my cleavage followed. But I learned I am not
my cleavage.
Carole Mallory
Excuse me while I whip this out.
Blazing Saddles
Everytime you meet a situation, though you think at the time it is an Eleanor Roosevelt
impossibility and you go through the tortures of the damned, once
you have met it and lived through it, you find that forever after you
are freer than you were before.
Excuse me, I have an announcement. That Safeway over there...
Andrew Crown
They are officially... fuckers.
Faith is good, but skepticism is better.
Guissepe Verdi
Faith is much better than belief. Belief is when someone ELSE does R. Buckminster Fuller
the thinking.
F U cn rd dis U mst uz Unix.
Tim Roberts
Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good
person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because
you are a vegetarian.
Dennis Wholey
Exhale, and get a grip on reality.
Reality Bites
Extra cash today, generic box shifter tomorrow, rotting corpse the
day after.
Robert Harley
A young Jedi Knight named Darth Vader, who was a pupil of mine Star Wars
until he turned to evil, helped the Emperor hunt down and destroy
the Jedi Knights. He betrayed and murdered your father. Vader was
seduced by the Dark Side of the Force.
A woman who demands equality is selling herself short.
George Bernard Shaw
A woman reading Playboy feels a little like a Jew reading a Nazi
manual.
Gloria Steinem
A woman uses her intelligence to find reasons to support her
intuition.
G.K. Chesterton
A Zen philosopher once said, a flute with no holes is not a flute, and Chevy Chase
a donut with no holes is a danish. Think about it.
A year spent in artificial intelligence is enough to convince anyone
of the existence of God.
Alan Perlis
A writer is like a bag lady going through life with a sack and a
pointed stick collecting stuff.
Tony Hillerman
A yawn is a silent shout.
G.K. Chesterton
A word to the wise is enough.
Miguel de Cervantes
Experience is the name that everyone gives to their mistakes.
Oscar Wilde
Failure or success seems to have been allotted to men by their stars. E.M. Forster
But they retain the power of wriggling, of fighting with their star or
against it, and in the whole universe the only interesting movement
is this wriggle.
Fanatics have their dreams, wherewith they weave a paradise for a
sect.
Keats
Fanaticism consists of redoubling your efforts when you have
forgotten your aim.
Santayana
Failure is not the falling down, but the staying down.
Mary Pickford
Faith is permitting ourselves to be seized by the things we do not
see.
Martin Luther
Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not Hebrews
seen.
Fall into yourself... Fall as in a dream. Love can last forever, though Pearl Jam
impossible it seems.
Far too many people idealize and idolize instead of loving.
Adam Rifkin
Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you to recognize a
mistake when you make it again.
F.P. Jones
Familiarity breeds contempt. And children.
Mark Twain
Far and away the best prize that life offers is the chance to work
hard at work worth doing.
Theodore Roosevelt
Far better it is to dare to mighty things, to win glorious triumphs,
Theodore Roosevelt
even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor
spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live
in the gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.
A platitude is simply a truth repeated till people get tired of hearing Stanley Baldwin
it.
Always presume ignorance before malice.
Ernie Prabhakar
Always remember, Dogbert is just a small white naked version of
Rohit.
Ernie Prabhakar
All progress is based upon a universal innate desire on the part of
every organism to live beyond its income.
Samuel Butler
All power corrupts, but we NEED electricity.
D.W. Jones
Always thought it was okay to screw a taxpayer.
David Letterman
All who have meditated on the art of governing mankind have been Aristotle
convinced that the fate of empires depends on the education of
youth.
Allow me to sound like Adam for a minute while I apologize for
being so quiet lately.
John Dobbin
All photography is accurate - none of it is truth.
Richard Avedon
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief
hand in their own education.
Sir Walter Scott
All men are mortal. Socrates was mortal. Therefore all men are
Socrates.
Woody Allen
All my exes live in Texas.
George Strait
All men would still really like to own a train set.
Rita Rudner
All of the books in the world contain no more information than is
broadcast as video in a single large American city in a single year.
Not all bits have equal value.
Carl Sagan
All of reality is just a blur of Republicans and meat.
Zippy the Pinhead
All my life I wanted to be someone. I guess I should have been
more specific.
Jane Wagner
All men live in abject fear of beautiful women. All women are
beautiful. Therefore, all men are cowards.
Megan Coughlin
All men look nerdy in black socks and sandals.
Rita Rudner
All modern American literature comes from one book by Mark
Twain called Huckleberry Finn.
Ernest Hemingway
All sunshine makes a desert.
Arabian proverb
All technology should be assumed guilty until proven innocent.
David Brower
All people walk through life, some always looking back, others
always looking forward. I always look upward.
Sly
All phone calls are obscene.
Karen Elizabeth Gordon
All software sucks. ALL software sucks.
Jon Slenk
All serious daring starts from within.
Eudora Welty
All of us learn to write in the second grade. Most of us go on to
greater things.
Bobby Knight
All snakes who wish to remain in Ireland will please raise their
right hands.
Saint Patrick
All science is either physics or stamp collecting.
Ernest Rutherford
All rumors are true. Especially if your boss denies them.
Dilbert
All we need is a little creativity, enthusiasm, and diplomatic
immunity.
Martin Frankel
All we wish is to be left alone.
Jefferson Davis
After the game the king and the pawn go in the same box.
Italian proverb
After the first death, there is no other.
Dylan Thomas
Against the assault of humor, nothing can stand.
Mark Twain
After reviewing papers for IPPS, I see the appeal of your papers on
Infospheres. At least they have a strong vision. Now I want to see
the next step.
John Thornley
Ah, your flesh-mother used to bring me pudding.
Homer Simpson
Ah yes. Me, I often find that when I have an inadequate amount of
extract of the Wild Vindaloo in my bloodstream, it induces a state
similar to, but in many ways unlike, Louisiana.
Matt Sheahan
Ah, the thrill of watching kicking, blocking, tackling, running ... but J. Wagner
enough about fall sales at the mall.
Ah, argument by profanity. Very persuasive.
Joe Barrera
Ahhh. A man with a sharp wit. Someone ought to take it away from Peter da Silva
him before he cuts himself.
Aim to be fearful when others are greedy and greedy when others
are fearful.
Warren Buffett
Aim for the moon. If you miss, you may hit a star.
W. Clement Stone
Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more
frequent.
Friedrich Nietzsche
Age does not depend upon years, but upon temperament and health. Tryon Edwards
Some men are born old, and some never grow old.
Always be ready to give an answer for the faith that is within you.
The Book
Although the Buddhists will tell you that desire is the root of
suffering, my personal experience leads me to point the finger at
system administration.
Philip Greenspun
Although this sentence begins with the word because, it is false.
Douglas R Hofstadter
Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will
be violent psychopath who knows where you live.
John F. Woods
Always avoid meetings with time-wasting morons.
Scott Adams
All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then
success is sure.
Mark Twain
All wrong-doing is done in the sincere belief that it is the best thing Arnold Bennett
to do at that time.
All you do is eat and couch and fondle the remote control.
Reality Bites
All you do is sponge.
Reality Bites
alt.binaries.pictures.erotica has soft core, medium core, hard core,
over easy core and sunny side up core.
Robert Harley
All men are equally insane, those of us outside of the asylums just
hide it a little better.
Stephen King
Also, avoid awkward or affected alliteration.
William Safire
All of these free condoms are really burning a hole in my pocket.
Chris Caldwell
A toast ...to... umm.. whatever.
Bruce Sherrod
A stop-gap measure is better than no gap at all.
David Farber
A timid person is frightened before a danger, a coward during the
time, and a courageous person afterwards.
Jean Paul Richter
A strong conviction that something must be done is the parent of
many bad measures.
Daniel Webster
A successful tool is one that was used to do something undreamed
of by its author.
S. C. Johnson
A statesman who keeps his ear permanently glued to the ground
will have neither elegance of posture nor flexibility of movement.
Abba Eban
A still tongue makes a happy life.
The Prisoner
A spirit with a vision is a dream with a mission.
Rush
A trauma is when it happens to me. No bid deal is when it happens
to you.
Matt Groening
A scout troop consists of twelve little kids dressed like schmucks
following a big schmuck dressed like a kid.
Jack Benny
A ship on the beach is a lighthouse to the sea.
Dutch proverb
A ship in harbor is safe... but that is not what ships are for.
John A. Shedd
A sex symbol becomes a thing. I hate being a thing.
Marilyn Monroe
A shadow is the... mobile, persistent, distributed, self-descriptive,
Sandor Spruit
self-contained, pro-active, cooperative, trustworthy, object-oriented,
software analog of some real world object.
A solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he Mark Twain
was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity.
A sweater makes anyone look like a babe.
Richard Goodman
A task becomes a duty from the moment you suspect it to be an
essential part of that integrity which alone entitles a man to assume
responsibility.
Dag Hammarskjold
A thick head can do as much damage as a hard heart.
H.W. Dodds
A technique succeeds in mathematical physics, not by a clever trick, O.G. Sutton
or a happy accident, but because it expresses some aspect of a
physical truth.
A team effort is a lot of people doing what I say.
Michael Winner
A successful technology creates problems only it can solve.
Alan Kay
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can
spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
Lana Turner
A nightmare of in-line hand-optimizations and micro hacks.
Register variables with names like p, pp, and ppp being used for
multitudes of differebt purposes in different parts of a single
function.
Unix-Haters Handbook
A painter should not paint what he sees, but what will be seen.
Paul Valery
A pact between Microsoft and Barney. Sealed in purple blood.
Dmitri Schoeman
A penny saved is worthless.
Dave Barry
A pedestal is as much a prison as any small, confined space.
Gloria Steinem
A pathetic, poorly written, pseudo-intellectual, pseudo-spiritual,
pseudo-document of schmaltz. But if they want me to be in the
movie, sign me up.
David Duchovny on
Bridges of Madison
County
A non-vegetarian anti-abortionist is a contradiction in terms.
Phyllis Schafly
A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his
government.
Edward Abbey
A people who expect to be ignorant and free expect what never will, Thomas Jefferson
and never can, be.
A retentive memory is a good thing, but the ability to forget is the
true token of greatness.
Elbert Hubbard
A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice
person.
Dave Barry
A stupid person can do anything but think.
Bob Dobbs, Jr.
A strong positive mental attitude will create more miracles than any Patricia Neal
wonder drug.
A person should never be ashamed to own that he is wrong, which
is but saying in other words that he is wiser today than he was
yesterday.
Alexander Pope
A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is
blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken.
James Dent
A piano is a piano is a piano.
Gertrude Steinway.
A picture is worth a thousand words. So draw a picture of the
Gettysburg address.
Leo Rosten
A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is
one who hopes they are.
Chauncey Depew
a scene is a collection of sexual references that masquerades as an
art support group
Brad Barkett
A satirist is a man who discovers unpleasant things about himself
and then says them about other people.
Peter McArthur
All the good ones are taken. The act of being taken makes them
good.
Adam Rifkin
All the lemmings are coming home to roost.
David Farber
All those who are not racially pure are mere chaff.
Adolf Hitler
All that was meant to bore you shitless.
I. Goulden
All the loose nuts in America end up in Los Angeles because of the
continental tilt.
Frank Lloyd Wright
All this proves is that anyone setting themselves up as a kind of
Declan McCullagh
digital moral compass quickly finds themselves plunged into a kind
of virtual Bermuda Triangle, where vertigo reigns and you hope to
hell you pop out the other side still on course. Technology is never
a substitute for conscience.
All true beauty is analytic.
Edgar Allen Poe
All things are only transitory.
Johann Wolfgang von
Goethe
All this from a species which still gets excited about digital
watches.
Douglas Adams
All this freaking bicycling is making my perineum sore.
Adam Rifkin
All these years of thinking, ended up like this, in front of all this
beauty, understanding nothing.
Bruce Cockburn
All these people, and doubtless many more, were at some time
during a long night castigated, vilified, embarrassed or, worst,
bored, for which he most humbly and respectfully apologizes.
Howard Potter
All the other nations are drinking Ray Charles beer, and we are
drinking Barry Manilow.
Dave Barry
All the trouble in the world is due to the fact that man cannot sit still Blaise Pascal
in a room.
A Smith and Wesson beats four aces.
Canada Bill Jones
A small handgun makes any TV remote control.
David Letterman
A society in which women are taught anything but the management L. Ron Hubbard
of a family, the care of men, and the creation of the future
generation, is a society which is on the way out.
A small case of mood poisoning. Must be something I hate.
Wild Palms
A room-spent night does not a boyfriend make.
Adam Rifkin
A revolution is not a dinner party.
Mao Tse Tung
A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man
contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral.
Antoine de Saint-Exupery
A rocky road is easier to travel than a stone wall.
David Farber
A rolling stone gathers no moss.
Publilius Syrus
A room without books is like a body without a soul.
Cicero
A rumor without a leg to stand on will get around some other way.
John Tudor
A simple, half-done job is more virtuous than a complex, wellexecuted one.
Unix-Haters Handbook
A sine curve goes off to infinity or at least the end of the
blackboard.
Professor Steiner
All the taxes paid over a lifetime by the average American are spent Jim Fiebig
by the government in less than a second.
All the parts falling off this car are of the very finest British
manufacture
Bumper sticker
All the things I really like to do are immoral, illegal, or fattening.
Alexander Woollcott
All the words of love surround her.
Billy Joel
All the world is wild at heart and weird on top.
David Lynch
All the physics you have learned so far is massless, frictionless, and Dr. Chyu
pointless.
A sinking ship gathers no moss.
Donald Kaul
A single conversation across the table with a wise man is worth a
months study of books.
Chinese Proverb
Admiral, there be whales here...
Scotty
Evian spelled backwards is naive.
Reality Bites
Every cloud has a silver bullet.
Married with Children
Every country has the government it deserves.
Joseph de Maistre
Every child had pretty good a shot to get as far as their old man got. Billy Joel
But something happened on the way to that place.
Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once Pablo Picasso
she grows up.
Every day I cry a few tears for a world spun so wildly out of
control.
John Dobbin
God, I was a teenager in the mall obsessing about this cheerleader
who would never go out with me, playing this videogame.
J.C. Herz
God was able to create the world in only seven days because he had Andy Finkel
no installed base to consider.
Every generation yields the new born hope unjaded by their years.
Sarah McLachlan
Every action has a positive reaction, even if it has a negative result.
Slacker
Every breath leaves me one less to my last.
Dream Theater
Every man is as God made him, ay, and often worse.
Miguel de Cervantes
Every battle is won before it is ever fought. Sun-tzu, The Art of
War.
Wall Street
Every difficulty slurred over will be a ghost to disturb your repose
later on.
Frederic Chopin
Every disagreement in the world is a matter of definition and
degree.
Kaylanis Law
Every character you save saves power.
John Dobbin
Every burned book enlightens the world.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Gold is tried by fire, brave men by adversity.
Lucius Annaeus Seneca
God made the integers. All else is the work of Man.
Kronecker
Good music is the key to good design. Go out and get yourself
some CDs with that big fat advance check from The Man.
Brady Clark
God made the Idiot for practice. Then He made the School Board.
Mark Twain
God not only plays dice, He sometimes throws the dice where they
cannot be seen.
S. Hawking
God runs electromagnetics by wave theory on Monday,
William Brag
Wednesday, and Friday. The Devil runs them by quantum theory on
Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday.
Going to the bathroom and reading a book are in no way mutually
exclusive. Finish a page, tear it out and wipe your ass.
John Dobbin
God is the tangential point between zero and infinity.
Alfred Jarry
God not only plays dice, he also sometimes throws the dice where
they cannot be seen.
Stephen Hawking
God put me on this Earth to accomplish certain things. Right now, I Calvin
am so far behind, I will never die.
God must love the comman man, he made so many of them.
Abraham Lincoln
God is really only another artist. He invented the giraffe, the
elephant and the cat. He has no real style, He just goes on trying
other things.
Pablo Picasso
Everybody who knows anything about history firsthand is dead.
Dave Barry
This means our only source of history is historians, who are useless
because they keep changing everything around.
Every moment is a golden one for him who has the vision to
recognize it as such.
Henry Miller
Even the penile enlargement fad has to be measured against the
Web...
Rohit Khare
Even when I close my eyes, your silhouette is smiling at me.
They Might Be Giants
Everyone and his bisexual brother writes erotica.
Andrew Stellman
Everybody remember where we parked.
Kirk
Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching
television.
David Letterman
Everybody wants a rock to wind a piece of string around.
They Might Be Giants
Everybody loves you. Pisses me off.
Jerry Maguire
Everybody wants prosthetic foreheads on their real heads.
They Might Be Giants
Everybody knows that the world is full of stupid people.
the Refreshments
Everybody knows lesbian sex is more satisfying than heterosexual
sex.
Threesome
Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you do
not keep moving.
Will Rogers
Even in paradise, you have to go to the crappiest beach first to
appreciate the really monster death-defying ones.
Rohit Khare
Even rats learn from experience.
George Skarbek
Every little event is like a pebble in the water that ripples outward
and touches places the pebble never could. One set of friends
started examining their OWN lives long after discussion of you or
me had left the conversation.
Adam Rifkin
Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired
Dwight D. Eisenhower
signifies in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are
not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed. This world in arms
is not spending money alone. It is spending the sweat of its laborers,
the genius of its scientists, the hopes of its children. This is not a
way of life at all in any true sense. Under the clouds of war, it is
humanity hanging on a cross of iron.
Every improvement in communication makes the bore more
terrible.
Frank Moore Colby
Every man has a right to his opinion, but no man has a right to be
wrong about the facts.
The Old Philosopher
Every major horror of history was committed in the name of an
altruistic motive.
Ayn Rand
Every little picofarad has a nanohenry all its own.
Don Vonada
Even Napoleon had his Watergate.
Yogi Berra
Even evil people sometimes get up in the middle of the night to eat
chocolate chip cookies.
Di Francis
Even I dip my ladle into the english well every now and then.
Adam Rifkin
Eventually, people realized that the Information Superhighway was Dave Barry
essentially CB radio, but with more typing.
Even if you are a minority of one, the truth is the truth.
Gandhi
good thing I bought more gin last night. Just in time to deal with
this HAIRY NOTES PROBLEM.
Brendan Hoar
Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
Gail Godwin
Had to sell my internal organs just to pay the rent.
Weird Al Yankovic
Haiku is pointless. Culturally obnoxious. Complete waste of time.
Lloyd Wood
Half of philosophy is knowing when to shut up.
Nicholas Brownlow
paraphrasing Ludwig
Wittgenstein
Hair is a privilege, not a right.
Principal Skinner
Hakeem will become the most popular name for newborn babies.
David Letterman
God creates dinosaurs. God destroys dinosaurs. God creates man.
Man destroys God. Man creates dinosaurs...
Jurassic Park
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
Mark Twain
Go to the law for a sheep and lose your cow.
German Proverb
God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers.
Jewish proverb
God created Adam lord of all living creatures, but Eve spoiled it all. Martin Luther
Goals are dreams with deadlines.
Diana Scharf Hunt
God created man, and finding him not sufficiently alone, gave him a Paul Valery
companion to make him feel his solitude more.
God gave us our memories so that we might have roses in
December.
James M. Barrie
God gave us a penis and a brain, but only enough blood to run one
at a time.
Robin Williams
Happiness is not a state to arrive at, but a manner of traveling.
Margaret Lee Runbeck
Happiness is the longing for repetition.
Milan Kundera
Handcrafted with pride in the United States by non-exploited,
entrepreneur- type craftspeople who ride their bikes a lot
Gabe Underwood
Happiness is a warm gun. Bang bang, shoot shoot.
John Lennon
Hand me that piano, and then fold up the cow.
overheard when moving
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
Ingrid Bergman
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in
another city.
George Burns
Habit is habit, and not to be flung out of the window by any man,
but coaxed downstairs a step at a time.
Mark Twain
H.L. Mencken suffers from the hallucination that he is H.L.
Mencken. There is no cure for a disease of that magnitude.
Maxwell Bodenheim
Happiness is itself a kind of gratitude.
Joseph Wood Krutch
Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.
Ogden Nash
Half our mistakes in life arise from feeling where we ought to think, J. Churton Collins
and thinking where we ought to feel.
God cannot alter the past, but historians can.
Samuel Butler
God gave... legs to the horses, gills to the fish, wings to the birds,
heads to the men, and brains to the women.
A. Namelesspoet
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
Napoleon Bonaparte
Gluttony is not a secret vice.
Orson Welles
Go ahead... make my day...
Clint Eastwood
Go oft to the house of thy friend, for weeds choke the unused path.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Glenn Frey was an absolutely inspired casting choice. What a great
way to kill some time on Christmas Eve.
John Dobbin
Go placidly amid the noise and the haste and remember what peace
there may be in silence.
Desiderata
Go in pieces.
Sarah Esser
Good evening, and welcome to Introducing My Grandfather To.
Tonight I shall be introducing my grandfather to the pornographer
and steeple-chase jockey, Benton Asher.
Hugh Laurie
Good evening, and welcome to Trying To Borrow A Fiver Off.
Hugh Laurie
Good thing we have a free press or we might have had to wait for a
court to convict him.
Jim Mullen
Good things come to those who wait. Crap arrives the fastest.
Rich Hall
Good afternoon, Tech Pacific, Tara speaking...
Tara
Good ideas and innovations must be driven into existence by
courageous patience.
Admiral Hyman Rickover
Good habits result from resisting temptation.
Ancient Proverb
Gonna take my hips to a man who cares.
P.J. Harvey
Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our
most useless citizens.
Bob Hope
Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a
bad example.
La Rouchefoucauld
God I would love to drag his frat boy ass to a Chaos UK concert.
alt.punk to Adam Rifkin
God hates me. This I know. I saw it in the shape of my Quaker
Instant Oatmeal this morning. The tracks and valleys left by the
spoon were unusual and probably demonic.
Robert Rodgers
God himself could not sink this ship.
unknown Titanic Deck
Hand
God help me, I sort of like the interface for this........
John Dobbin discovers
msn.com
Go to an extreme and then retreat to a more useful position.
Brian Eno
God has made many doors opening into truth which He opens to all Kahlil Gibran
who knock upon them with hands of faith.
God has made Canada one of those nations which cannot be
conquered and cannot be destroyed, except by itself.
Norman Angell
God is a combination of Stalin and Castro.
Professor Beildelman
God is in the Details.
Mies van der Rohe
Given enough eyeballs, all bugs are shallow
Linus Torvalds
Give me the luxuries of life and I will willingly do without the
necessities.
Frank Lloyd Wright
Give us the truth, the networks say. Based Upon. Well, Inspired By. Al Martinez
Okay, Suggested by. Hinted By. Dreamed By.
Giving requires good sense.
Ovid
Glass, china, and reputations are easily cracked and never well
mended.
Benjamin Franklin
Glass of milk Standing in between extinction in the cold and
explosive radiating growth. So the warm blood flows Through the
They Might Be Giants
large four-chambered heart, Maintaining the very high metabolism
rate they have.
Glancing at the table of contents, it looks like YASHEEOFLS, yet
another spin on how to encode everything OO into a functional
language with subtyping.
Robert Harley
Everyone is necessarily the hero of his own life story.
John Barth
Everyone knows that the best song for fucking is Assimilate by
Skinny Puppy. Of course Deep Down Trauma Hounds is a close
second.
Chris Rapier
Fear is the main source of superstition, and one of the main sources
of cruelty. To conquer Fear is the beginning of wisdom.
Bertrand Russell
Fate keeps on happening.
Anita Loos
Fear is the Mind Killer. It is the little death that leads to total
obliteration.
Bene Gesserit Axiom
Fearlessly, the idiot faced the crowd, smiling.
Pink Floyd
Fear of corrupting the mind of the younger generation is the loftiest Holbrook Jackson
form of cowardice.
Fear is a slinking cat I find beneath the lilacs of my mind.
Sophie Tunnel
Find out just what any people will quietly submit to and you have
Frederick Douglass
the exact measure of the injustice and wrong which will be imposed
on them.
Find me and turn thy back on heaven.
Emerson
Fear not to negotiate, but never negotiate out of fear.
John F Kennedy
Fellow alumni run thicker than water.
David Farber
Fellow citizens, we cannot escape history.
Abraham Lincoln
Feminism was established as to allow unattractive women easier
access to the mainstream of society.
Rush Limbaugh
Fast, fat computers breed slow, lazy programmers.
Robert Hummel
Fate chooses our relatives, we choose our friends.
Jacques Delille
Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable we have to change it
every six months.
Oscar Wilde
Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
Animal House
Fight like a robot. Kill like a chicken.
Deral Fenderson
File deletion is forever. Welcome to the future.
Unix-Haters Handbook
Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of
changing himself.
Leo Tolstoy
Enlightenment is the conversion of religious experience to religious Steven Puerto
life.
Enjoyment is not a goal, it is a feeling that accompanies important
ongoing activity.
Paul Goodman
Few rich men own their own property. The property owns them.
Robert G. Ingersoll
Finite slack, I think. Just infinitely lazy...
Rajit Manohar
Fingering is a real hassle for me.
John Dobbin
Few human beings are proof against the implied flattery of rapt
attention.
Jack Woodford
Fiction was invented the day Jonas arrived home and told his wife
that he was three days late because he had been swallowed by a
whale.
Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Fiction can be fun, but I prefer the reference section.
Ace Ventura
Feelings are everywhere. Be gentle.
J. Masai
First and foremost, the stupid people need to shut up and let the
more intelligent folks speak.
Pankaj Chowdhry
First, I suspected a bug in printf, then in the data storage types, then Rohit Khare
in the loop optimization. As usual, though, it was a bug in the
documentation.
First you want to kill me. Now you want to kiss me. Blow.
Army of Darkness
First, director Oliver Stone forces three hours of Jack down our
throats in the form of his JFK assassination theories. With his most
recent effort, we all have to swallow three hours of Dick... Dick
Nixon that is.
Mr. Cranky
First you see the tree in the painting then you see the painting in the Japanese saying
tree.
First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to
pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down.
Leo Rosenberg
Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed.
Josh Billings
Examine what is said, not who speaks.
Arabian Proverb
Excellence is an art won by training and habituation. We do not act Aristotle
rightly because we have virtue or excellence, but we rather have
those because we have acted rightly. We are what we repeatedly do.
Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.
Exactly the same, only purple.
Ed Matthews
Five is a sufficiently close approximation to infinity.
Robert Firth
First they ignore you. Then they laugh at you. Then they fight you.
Then you win.
Gandhi
Follow your bliss and doors will open where there were no doors
before.
Joseph Campbell
Fly low, stay cool, and go with the flow.
Arthur F. Ross
Floating point arithmetic is not associative.
Berna Massingill
Flow, flow, flow, the current of life is ever onward.
Kobodaishi
Food for thought is no substitute for the real thing.
Walt Kelly
Follow the dreamer, the fool, and the sage, back to the days of The
Innocent Age.
Dan Fogelberg
Fodder Muckers is a great band name.
Adam Rifkin and John
Dobbin
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, prepare to die.
Klingon Proverb
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, prepare for doom.
Klingon proverb
Fools rush in where angels fear to tread.
Alexander Pope
Flies in the vaseline, we are. Keep getting stuck here all the time.
Stone Temple Pilots
Football is a mistake. It combines two of the worst things about
American life. It is violence punctuated by committee meetings.
George Will
Food is not the boss in my life. I am stronger than the temptation of Richard Simmons
any food.
For a minute there, room-service took on a whole new meaning.
Crocodile Dundee
For a successful technology, reality must take precedence over
public relations, for Nature cannot be fooled.
Richard Feynman
Ensgin Expendable, step on that rock
Kirk
Every thought you make becomes a reality.
Slacker
Every time I close the door on reality, it shines through the window. Ashleigh Brilliant
Egotism is the anesthetic given by a kindly nature to relieve the
pain of being a damned fool.
Bellamy Brooks
Egosurfing is the act of feeding your own name to the search
engines and visiting the resulting hits.
Wired
Everybody gets so much information all day long that they loose
their common sense.
Gertrude Stein
Every year it takes less time to fly across the Atlantic, and more
time to drive to the office.
Cousin Woodman
Every word is like an unnecessary stain on silence and nothingness. Samuel Beckett
Every time I learn to live by my means, my means get meaner.
Adam Rifkin
Every time I look at you, I go blind.
Hootie and the Blowfish
Eight-ball is a racist game. The white ball knocks the black ball last. Boomerang
Education makes us what we are.
C.A. Helvetius
Effort only fully releases its reward after a person refuses to quit.
Napoleon Hill
Education... has produced a vast population able to read but unable
to distinguish what is worth reading.
G.M. Trevelyan
Egad, a base tone denotes a bad age.
They Might Be Giants
Palindrome
Every time I see Dan Quayle I feel like buying a vowel.
Emo Phillips
Every person you see on TV has sold their soul to get there.
Joe Kiniry
Every place has its advantages and disadvantages. Pittsburgh has its Greg Plesur
snow, but Palo Alto has those giant carrion weasles. You decide
which is worse.
Every person takes the limits of their own field of vision for the
limits of the world.
Schopenhauer
Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.
Will Rogers
Everyone has Patriots, but I all I have is Scuds.
Rugburns
Everyone should have enough money to get plastic surgery.
Beverly Johnson
Everyone said she looked beautiful even without her head.
Cracker
Everyone has part ownership of the songs.
Eddie Vedder
Everyone has a story that would break your heart.
Claudia Shearer
Everyone I know goes away in the end.
Nine Inch Nails
Every obnoxious act is a cry for help.
Zig Ziglar
Every now and then, a little learning makes us think we know a lot.
Vaughn Manning
Every noble work is at first impossible.
Thomas Carlyle
Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands,
hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
H. L. Mencken
Every view of the world that becomes extinct, every culture that
disappears, diminishes the possibility of life.
Octavio Paz
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands,
hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
H.L. Mencken
Every morning I get up and start combing my hair. Then I really
need a drink for that thirst I worked up.
John Dobbin
Every old idea will be proposed again with a different name and a
different presentation, regardless of whether it works.
Ross Callon
Every once in a while an ad campaign comes along that shows the Denis Leary
softer, compassionate side of business. No one remembers that crap.
Every morning I stop off at SevLev and pick me up a Super Big
Gulp to start my morning right.
John Dobbin
Either that file gets deleted, or you do.
Golden Years
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
Woody Allen
Euclid alone has looked on beauty bare.
Edna St. Vincent Millay
Enzymes are things invented by biologists that explain things which Jerome Lettvin
otherwise require harder thinking.
Economists state their GNP growth projections to the nearest tenth
of a percentage point to prove they have a sense of humor.
Edgar R. Fiedler
erpf...uh...kill me now... better yet, kill him now.
Dmitri Schoeman
Eschew obfuscation.
Bumper sticker
Emacs is a fine windowing system, but I still prefer glass.
Tom Christiansen
Elvis is dead. Give it up.
Michelle Hall
Emacs would have loaded the poor machine to the point where
there was no more time to spend animating the dinosaurs, and
everyone would have been home by lunchtime. And that would
have made a very boring movie.
John West
Embarrasingly enough, the link I sought was not on your page, so
my frustration toward you was misdirected.
John Dobbin
Emancipate yourself from mental slavery.
Bob Marley
Emacs is a disease, not a tool.
Robert Rodgers
emotionally-envious, sexually-jealous insolent little dysfunctional
bastard
baby-X
Empowerment comes from within. Not from without.
Adam Rifkin
Enthusiasm is faith set on fire.
George Adams
Empirical research has shown that quality tends to the be
consequence of quantity when it comes to creativity...Those who
produce more master-works also produce more rubbish.
Keith Simonton
Energy, like the biblical grain of the mustard seed, will remove
mountains.
Hosea Ballou
Empire had the betting ending. I mean, Luke gets his hand cut off, Clerks
finds out Vader is his father, uh, Han gets frozen and taken away by
Boba Fett. It ends on such a down note.
Eat Thai food like the Thai do... sparingly.
Rohit Khare
Eat, drink, and be Maui.
Hawaiian saying
Easy to use is easy to say.
Jeff Garbers
Early morning cheerfulness can be extremely obnoxious.
William Feather
Elanor and Niphredil bloom no more east of the sea.
J.R.R. Tolkien
Elle MacPherson is another story altogether... pant, pant.
Robert Harley
Either your head will explode or you would be nice and serene or
your head would explode AND you would be nice and serene.
Bethany Jozwiak
Ears pierced free
while you wait.
Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing
your temper or your self-confidence.
Robert Frost
Education is the fire-proofer of emotions.
Frank Crane
Education is the process of casting false pearls before real swine.
Irsin Edman
Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire.
W. B. Yeats
Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing
your temper or your self confidence.
Robert Frost
Ebert could beat the crap out of Siskel.
David Letterman
Ecosystems, schmecosystems.
Exxon
Earth is a single point of failure.
Patrick Greenwell
Earth is a great, big funhouse without the fun.
Jeff Berner
Earth below us, drifting, flowing. Floating weightless. Coming,
coming home.
Peter Schilling
If you want a place in the sun, you have to put up with a few
blisters.
Abigail Van Buren
Hegel was right when he said that we learn from history that man
can never learn anything from history.
George Bernard Shaw
Hell is... other people.
Jean Paul Sartre
Hell hath no fury like a critic whose cult icon has gone public.
Peter Rainer
Head em up and load em out.
Thanh Boyer
Hell hath no fury like a process spawned.
Adam Rifkin
Hell hath no fury like a bureaucrat scorned.
Milton Friedman
Hell is a city much like London--A populous and smoky city.
Percy Shelly
hen people of good faith come together as one.... the rest of us end
up in concentration camps.
Steve Gifford
Heroism is not only in the man, but in the occasion.
Calvin Coolidge
Hershey Bar is like the best candy bar ever.
Michelle Gardner
Hermits have no peer pressure.
Steven Wright
Hey Beavis. I was just, like, thinking and stuff. It was pretty cool.
Butt-head
Help, am dying of repiratory shit... need flickage.
Rohit Khare
help, my typewriter is broken...
ee cummings
Help me help you.
Jerry Maguire
Help us put pot back on the streets where it belongs.
Saturday Night Live
Hello, Bitter party, your table is ready. Bitter, party of one.
unknown TV sitcom
Hello, Jane speaking.
Jane
Heaven has no rage, like love to hatred turned, Nor Hell a fury, like William Congreve
a woman scorned.
Heaven is a girl that I know so well.
Def Leppard
Heather says real life sucks losers dry.
Heathers
Health nuts will feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of
nothing.
Red Foxx
Help put the science in Computer Science.
Steve Park
Heather Locklear put the nasty in Dynasty.
People
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals
dying of nothing.
Redd Foxx
Her face was burned on my brain...
When Harry Met Sally
I was such a dangerous hitter I even got intentional walks in batting Casey Stengel
practice.
I was the best I ever had.
Woody Allen
I was sitting here fast asleep when a trill from flora woke me up to
some arriving email...
Robert Harley
Here was a man who not only had a ready mind and a quick wit, but Rope
could also sing.
here is more to life than increasing its speed.
Wilferd A. Peterson
Here, we use a lunchbox instead of a soapbox.
Samantha Crouse
Henry VIII and his six knives.
Blackadder IV
Hey, I could summon a demon to terrorize that church. Cool.
Shawn Knight
Hey, by the way, if you leave milk in the refrigerator too long, it
turns into a clear yellow liquid.
John Dobbin
Hey there, blimpy boy, flying in the sky, oh fancy free...
Homer Simpson
Her other recommendation, which also applies equally to
conventional weddings, is actually at odds with the unfortunate
current practices of society as a whole. That is to plan the occasion
remembering that its purpose is not to show off your love for each
other, but to establish yourselves as a public and dignified unit in
the society in which you move.
Miss Manners
Herbert J. Schmuck, unlike any other author of his time, is able in
his finest work, The Harmonious Odors of Putrefication, to depth
the nature and the reality of human verisimilitude.
Michael Patrick
Hey, kickee.
Friends
Hey, think of all the money I save Mankind by not going out with
anyone.
Megan Coughlin
Hey, there are some pretty good quotes in here. Although there are
far too many of them. Delete three.
Joshua Schachter
HHHHAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH
James Brown
Hey, that makes this the first recorded instance of someone playing Steve Gifford
StarFleet when they shoulda been doing work. Yeah, this is historic.
Hi, nice to see you back. By the way, I want to die.
John Dobbin
Hi. My name is Warner Brandes. My voice is my passport. Verify
me.
Sneakers
High thoughts must have high language.
Aristophanes
Hey, you gotta be equal.
Encino Man
History is little more than the register of the crimes, follies and
misfortunes of mankind.
Edward Gibbon
Hitch your wagon to a star.
Emerson
His head is like Sputnik. Look at that noggin.
So I Married an Axe
Murderer
Hiro used to feel that way, too, but then he ran into Raven. In a
way, this is liberating. He no longer has to worry about trying to be
the baddest motherfucker in the world. The position is taken.
Neal Stephenson
his ass is, uh, something bad that rhymes with ass.
Kristiina Wilson
His fountain pen was so expensive it looked as if someone had
grabbed the pope, turned him upside down and started writing with
the tip of his big pointy hat.
Jeffrey Carl
His mind is like a steel trap... full of mice.
Foghorn Leghorn
Hmmm. Rif Coogan. Adam RIFkin.
Megan Coughlin
History shall confirm or deny our success.
Libertis mission statement
History will be kind to me, for I intend to write it.
Winston Churchill
History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they
have exhausted all other alternatives.
Abba Eban
Hit a child because you love him, and the child learns to love being
hit.
John Dobbin
Hot and dry sounds cool to me.
John Dobbin
Hold a true friend with both hands.
Nigerian Proverb
Honesty, courage, loyalty and duty are not only their own reward,
but the only reward a self-respecting person needs.
Robert Heinlein
Honesty may not be the best policy, but it is worth trying once in a
while.
Richard Nixon
Honk if you love peace and quiet.
Bumper sticker
Home is is the place where your computer lives and runs your life.
Chrome Cowboy
Hoez are savvy women who know how to use their brains to get
what they want.
HWA
HODIE NATUS EST FRATER RADICI... Today the brother of the Multics
root was born.
Homework is bad. Going home is bad.
Darrell Long
Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to Princess Bride
die.
Hello, this is Sy Greenblum, president of Spatula City. I like the
spatulas so much, I bought the company.
UHF
Homer Simpson, report for much worse duty.
Smithers
Honesty is best often kept to yourself.
John Dobbin
Honest poverty is a gem that even a king might feel proud to call
his own, but I wish to sell out. I have sported that kind of jewelry
long enough.
Mark Twain
Honest differences are often a healthy sign of progress.
Mahatma Gandhi
Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul.
Emily Dickinson
hoping for the incomplete. the melting icefall. intoxication furthers. Anu Kapoor
Hope is the feeling you have that the feeling you have is not
permanent.
Jean Kerr
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on
people.
W. C. Fields
Houston, Tranquillity Base here. The Eagle has landed.
Neil Armstrong
Housework can kill you if done right.
Erma Bombeck
I was thinking of just pouring a pound of coffee in the litter box
raw.
John Dobbin
I was thinking of her in terms of a toy, like a firetruck. When the
firetruck breaks, you cry a bit then forget about it and play with the
police cruiser.
John Jantos
I will not be pushed, prodded, folded, stamped, briefed, debriefed or The Prisoner
filed. I am a man. My life is my own
I think the phrase rhymes with clucking bell.
Blackadder IV
I think the portion of grades that are due to pure luck is almost nil, Sam Kass
if you disregard the luck that causes the surrounding circumstances.
I think you should always gratefully take whatever small blessings
the world throws your way - otherwise, the world may start
throwing them in another direction.
John Thornley
I think you can see Little Women and still keep your penis.
John Dobbin
I think you have the rudaments of a soul. You will not discover it
Ann Marie Clark
until sorrow separates you from all artifice. Break down the false in
your life and use the rubble to build something real.
I went to the Missing Persons Bureau. No one was there.
George Carlin
I will never see myself in the mirror with my eyes closed.
They Might Be Giants
I went to a convent in New York and was fired finally for my
insistence that the Immaculate Conception was a spontaneous
combustion.
Dorothy Parker
I will avoid that like the plack.
Thanh Boyer
I will go further and dry-erase-marker you in.
John Thornley
I will make it a felony to drink small beer.
William Shakespeare
I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick, not wounded... Woody Allen
dead.
I will not lie down. I will not go quietly.
Don Henley and Axl Rose
I will not be officious.
from the Minnesota police
code of ethics
I think the media sux bunny rabbits through a straw.
Robert Harley
I think I see the light at the end of the zone.
Thanh Boyer
I think I need to make a faisalfaq.com page, where the most
frequently said reply is heh.
Kriste Jordan
I think Little League is wonderful. It keeps the kids out of the
house.
Yogi Berra
I think most Scottish cuisine was based on a dare.
So I Married an Axe
Murderer
I think that timeline, like most, diverges into junk. A fine example
of historical myopia, with more detail in the last five years than the
previous twenty.
Rohit Khare
I think the best way to insult an illiterate bully is to write him a
nasty letter.
Paul Paternoster
I think the cheribum are the ones that hang from the roof of the
cave.
Dennis Miller
I think that I can confidently swear, to god and all things holy, that Greg Plesur
if I AM getting the cold that I suspect is stalking me, I will pick up
the pick axe that I bought from Jody and start a spree of crime and
killing of Old Testament proportions. I will commit such damage to
American civilization that, hundreds of generations from now,
parents will be telling legends about me to their children in front of
the camp-fires that will be the most technologically advanced
sources of light and heat that I will leave for them to inherit. Where
I walk I will leave a trail of scorched and salted earth. Dogs will no
longer be domesticated.
I think that people want peace so much that one of these days
governments had better get out of the way and let them have it.
Dwight D. Eisenhower
I think that the team that wins game five will win the series. Unless
we lose game five.
Charles Barkley
I think in the world we are moving to people are going to stop
paying for information, and will be paying to not get information.
More signal, less noise.
Gordon Irlam
I thought computer algorithms was their jargon for numerical
analysis.
Joel Franklin
I thought I had wavy hair until I shaved. Instead, I find that I have
straight hair and a very wavy head.
Shel Silverstein
I though Adam was a small white naked version of Rohit.
Duck
I thought my monkey had rabies... turned out he had just gotten into DL
the Cool Whip.
I think this kind of traffic is only clouding the minds of the team,
much as we all keep in the back of our minds.
Rohit Khare
I think this is bad for the TV.
Butt-head
I thought of losing my virginity as a career move.
Madonna
I thought my life would seem more interesting with a musical score Calvin
and a laugh track.
I think in one of my previous lives I was a mighty king, because I
like people to do what I say.
Jack Handey
I think if you really like a girl you have to pay a LOT of attention to Dave George
her. But try telling that to those jerks on the jury.
I thought I was the Duke of Earl when I made it with the red head
girl in the Chevrolet.
Billy Joel
I thought learning to play the bagpipes was hard, until I realized I
was just strangling an ostrich.
Craig Stacey
I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I
would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to
a quiet place and kill him.
Mark Twain
I want to run the risk of ruining what is a lovely recession.
George H. W. Bush
I want to thank my parents for loving me and taking care of me, and Johnny Franklin Garret
the rest of the world can kiss my ass.
I was able to climb the latter so you should be able to fill the
former.
Adam Rifkin
I was accepted into this department as a decoration.
James Cook
I wanted to make it sound like I was in a restaurant.
Friends
I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off Steven Wright
to the side.
I want you to take me. I want you to break me. And I want you to
throw me away.
Nine Inch Nails
I want you to kill someone in ten lines or less.
Jon Bennett
I was young and foolish then, I feel old and foolish now.
They Might Be Giants
I want you to break me and I want you to throw me away.
Nine Inch Nails
I was known as the chief grave robber of my state.
Vice President Dan Quayle
I want to run away. But only children can run away. Adults only
fail.
Rohit Khare
I want to play with her head like a drum kit.
Steven Wright
I want to marry Dorothy Parker. Well, actually I probably just want Peter Berger
to divorce her.
I was always envious of those Web logs that displayed their archive Rafe Colburn
in a nifty calendar format where you can select a day and see the
entries for that date. I then remembered that when you know Perl,
envy is unwarranted.
I want to find a cute early bird to eat my early worm.
John Dobbin
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not
screaming in terror like his passengers.
Jack Handey
I want to decide who lives and who dies.
Crow T. Robot
I want to cover every bit of your body in pepper and then sneeze all Blackadder IV
over you.
I was too busy laughing at the image of you running across the
Sahara with tournament darts, trying to bring down a giraffe.
Megan Coughlin
I was really impressed with hawaii from several perspectives, but
available chicks was not one of them.
Joe Kiniry
I was more impressed by what came out the last time I blew my
nose.
Blackadder IV
I was really looking forward to some excessive indulgence. Keep
me posted on the next time this is happening.
John Thornley
I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about
everything.
Steven Wright
I was put on earth to give people reading lists they could never hope Christy Regenhardt
to finish.
I was the person who stood in the middle of the room, trying to be
the center of attention, but actually just watched everyone else.
Cristen Sankey
i was thinking more along the lines of my dating life than major
political trends. although it may be argued that the two are one and
the same.
May Jawdat
I was once in a spelling bee, but I lost because the other contastents
cheeted.
Paul Paternoster
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam. I Woody Allen
looked into the soul of the person sitting next to me.
I was told it had been blown up by Oliver Cromwell. I understood
Winston Churchill
definitely that he had blown up all sorts of things and was therefore
a very great man.
I went from Pheonix Arizona, all the way to Tacoma, Philedelphia,
Atlanta, L.A.
Steve Miller
I was walking around the house, looking for things to rewire.
Tim Allen
I was walking down the street, something caught my eye... and
dragged it fifteen feet.
Emo Phillips
I wish I had as much in bed as I get in the newspapers.
Linda Ronstadt
i wish my intestines were multithreaded
Len Lanphar
I wish I was in Tijuana eating barbecued iguana.
Wall of Voodoo
I wish my butt did not go sideways, but I guess I have to face that.
Christie Brinkley
I woke up this morning and my penis was missing again.
King Missile
I wish everyone would just wake up and buy a Macintosh.
Alan McElrath
I was cured all right.
A Clockwork Orange
I was born here, and I have left, and inexorably I return.
Megan Coughlin
I was called a sex thimble.
Dudley Moore
I will rule out PERL on grounds of total illegibility and insecurity.
It is possible to write decent programs in Perl. I know both of the
people who actually do it.
Jonathan Shapiro
I was brain-dead, locked out, numb, not up to speed. I never
understood the frequency.
REM
I will scream or sulk and pout, until my poor skeleton steps out.
XTC
I will smash the CIA into a thousand pieces.
John F. Kennedy
History is a set of lies agreed upon.
Napoleon Bonaparte
I can see how this would make it a lot harder to apply oneself to
work, especially at CMU, where work is so pointlessly and
excruciatingly odious.
Bruce Sherrod
I can really identify with video games. The more I play them, the
more I find they mirror the aggression and sex which I yearn for in
my own life.
Paul Santa Clara
I can speak French but I cannot understand it.
Mark Twain
I could eat you.
Jon-Anne Siefert
I could have put a serious picture of myself here, but I think I look
like a cartoon character in this shot. I like cartoons.
Mike Belt
I could prove God statistically.
George Gallup
I could sure go for some charbroiled hamburgers and french-fried
potatoes.
Jungle Goddess
I could take a Ventrue but that TOAST OTTO ritual just really
sucks.
Otto on
MasqueradeMUSH
I could never marry an awful heffalump, or I might get squished.
Blackadder III
I can tell she wanted to fuck me by the way she was female.
Geoff Spear
I could be arguing in my spare time.
Monty Python
I could do it in a tree. I could do it you would see. She has got a real John Dobbin does Dr.
hot bod, maybe she would like my rod.
Seuss
I come from a small town whose population never changed. Each
time a woman got pregnant, someone left town.
Michael Prichard
I consider several hours of time to be significant unless very little
Mani Chandy
was contributed in those several hours, whereas less than an hour is
probably not significant unless the ideas contributed in that short
time made a big difference to the paper.
I choose toilet paper through the process of elimination.
George Carlin
I do not like work even when another person does it.
Mark Twain
I did not design this game. I did not name the stakes. I just happen
to like apples. And I am not afraid of snakes.
Ani DiFranco
I do not know myself, and God forbid that I should.
Johann Wolfgang von
Goethe
I create nothing.
Wall Street
I dare not speak ill of any man behind his back, but I believe the
man is an attorney.
Samuel Johnson
I DO think floor is another word for hamper.
John Dobbin
I do not seek. I find.
Pablo Picasso
I do what I do just to survive.
Coolio
I finally wised up and stopped buying things with rebates. If they
want to give me money back, just sell it cheaper. No gimmicks.
John Dobbin
I figured your password was Geraldo, you know, your chihuahua,
and it was...
Batman Returns
I fight for truth, justice, and my own enjoyment.
Sledgehammer
I fight authority, authority always wins.
John Cougar Mellencamp
I found it hard, was hard to find, oh well, whatever, nevermind.
Nirvana
I gave up eating candy for Lent. Mommy was proud and so were
the nuns. I thought it was okay to eat the candy if the wrapper was
on. I was just sucking out the juices.
Rugburns
I find it very disturbing that you people know how to use my penis
better than I do.
Tatia Markland
I feel the pain of everyone and then I feel nothing.
Dinosaur Jr.
I find it strange that a family can be torn up by something so simple Jack Handey
as a pack of wild dogs.
I for one could offer a lot of thoughts on any subject, but in many
D.P. Chassin
cases they would be based on speculation at best, or misinformation
at worst.
I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it.
Ashleigh Brilliant
I emote the light fantastic over these things.
Adam Rifkin
I expect that Woman will be the last thing civilized by Man.
George Meredith
I feast on a Turbo Dog. It keeps me sane.
Heathers
I fear for all the young people I convinced to plunge into this
wonderful idealistic pursuit of journalism. I shudder at the
disillusion that awaited them.
Ed Asner
I fear you must blame your own perverse urges.
Picard
I even bubble if you pop my cork just right.
Jon Gillespie
I feel like complete cat sphincter right now
Kevin Zygmontas
I feel like a snowflake in an avalanche.
Adam Rifkin
I feel like Keith Richards looks. ugh.
Matthew Haughey
I care about the job, but mostly I want to be inspired.
Jerry Maguire
I cannot conceive otherwise than that He, the Infinite Father,
Benjamin Franklin
expects or requires no worship or praise from us, but that He is even
infinitely above it.
I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited
everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous
feast, and then I killed them and took their land.
Jon Stewart
I feel fine.....Everything seems a little smaller.
Picard
I dream of a world where someday you can buy liquor, cigarettes,
Dogbert
and firearms at a drive-thru window and use them all before you get
home. Basically, anything that gets rid of people is okay with me.
But before you go, buy my new book...
I drank Pledge for a week, and whenever I farted, I polished a chair. Billy Joel
I drink the fifth.
John Dobbin
I drink to make other people interesting.
George Jean Nathan
I feel like the floor of a taxi cab.
Ghostbusters
I find panic dumps enormously entertaining.
John Dobbin
I find that a great part of the information I have was acquired by
looking up something and finding something else on the way.
Franklin P. Adams
I dub thee Admiral Angst.
Dan Brown
Have a heart that never hardens, and a temper that never tires, and a Charles Dickens
touch that never hurts.
Hates job. Hates spouse. Hates life. Loves Cheetos.
David Letterman
He is wise who is warned by the misfortunes of others.
Aesop
Haste makes waste.
John Heywood
He just jellied up the sidewalk. Waring Hudsucker is abstract art on Hudsucker Proxy
Madison Avenue.
He is the best sailor who can steer within fewest points of the wind, Henry David Thoreau
and exact a motive power out of the greatest obstacles.
He is now a heretic with a travel budget. And we intend to take care Rohit Khare
of at least one of those.
He is now rising from affluence to poverty.
Mark Twain
He is not only dull himself, but the cause of dullness in others.
Samuel Johnson
He looked exactly the same when he was alive, only he was
vertical.
Trouble with Harry
He that breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of
wisdom.
J.R.R. Tolkein
He knows not his own strength that hath not met adversity.
Ben Jonson
He kept his motor running, but he never kept it clean.
Skid Row
He is dead. Somethat that he disagreed with, ate him
Vijay Gill
He is happiest who has the power to gather wisdom from a flower.
Mary Howitt
He is mad, bad, and dangerous to know.
Lady Caroline Lamb
He is a master of time suckage.
Reality Bites
Have respect for the instrument. There may be days in your lives
where that will be the only thing you can control.
Busoni
Have patience with all things, but first of all with yourself.
St. Francis de Sales
Harpists spend ninety percent of their lives tuning their harps and
ten percent playing out of tune
Igor Stravinsky
Having a baby is one of the hardest and most strenuous things
known to man.
Anna Raeburn
Has the mathematical abilities of a Clydesdale.
David Letterman
Have a seat while I take to the sky.
Tori Amos
Have a tude, weinerdude.
Reality Bites
Have him watch Springer. Remind himself that these idiots are
lusted after. Works for me...
John Dobbin
Have children while your parents are still young enough to take care Rita Rudner
of them.
Have car, will travel.
Tom Tarka
Hark, the Herald Tribune sings, advertising wondrous things.
Tom Lehrer
He has low enough morals that he wil undoubtedly be able to buy
us out in ten years.
Rohit Khare
He has his ass on the wrong end of his head.
David Farber
He frequently only opens his mouth to lace his shoes.
MLS Commissioner Doug
Logan responding to some
disparaging comments
about league management
made by DC United coach
Bruce Arena.
He had occasional flashes of silence that made his conversation
perfectly delightful.
Sydney Smith
He has half the deed done who has made a beginning.
Horace
He believed in the primacy of doubt, not as a blemish upon our
ability to know, but as the essence of knowing.
James Gliek in The Life
and Science of Richard
Feynman
He drops more names than a telephone book with bad binding.
Michel Marriott
He found his aroma lacked a certain appeal. He could clear the
Savannah after every meal.
The Lion King
His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances
like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
Chuck Smith
His train of thought is still boarding at the station.
Calvin
History is bunk.
Henry Ford
History is an argument without end.
Pieter Geyl
History is composed of the smallest, often undetected mistakes.
John Irving
He got me involved in some kind of fruit company.
Forrest Gump
He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he
sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying
it.
Douglas Adams
He had been eight years upon a project for extracting sunbeams out
of cucumbers, which were to be put in vials hermetically sealed,
and let out to warm the air in raw inclement summers.
Jonathan Swift
He had a coprophagic smile.
Martin Amis
He had an empathic relationship with her.
John Thornley
He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I Abraham Lincoln
ever met.
He looks at the world through coma-induced eyes.
Howard Stern
He loves me, we have great sex, and he fixes my car.
Amy Fisher
He made one crucial mistake. He looked bad on TV.
Dennis Miller
He pledged to be faithful to the cow from his prison cell.
Kevin and Bean
He only possesses one thing
the gift of flight. And you
have taken that away from
him.
He that can have patience can have what he will.
Ben Franklin
He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals.
Ben Franklin
He rules with an iron thumb.
David Farber
He pushed me off a building, just when I was beginning to feel
good about myself.
Catwoman
He plays the game to find the answer, the sacred geometry of
chance.
Sting
He comes from a light blue collar family.
Slacker
He cannot be alone.
Jerry Maguire
He deserves Paradise who makes his companions laugh.
Koran
He who knows only his own side of the case knows little of that.
John Stuart Mill
He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lampposts... for support
rather than illumination.
Andrew Lang
He uses telnet like a pro... and he drinks Johnny Walker Red.
Ed Briggs
He who laughs last
missed the punch line.
He who laughs has not yet heard the bad news.
Bertolt Brecht
He who has imagination without learning has wings but no feet.
Joseph Joubert
He who has the courage to laugh is almost as much a master of the
world as he who is ready to die.
Giacomo Leopardi
He who knows nothing, loves nothing. He who can do nothing,
Paracelsus
understands nothing. He who understands nothing is worthless. But
he who understands also loves, notices, sees... The more knowledge
is inherent in a thing, the greater the love... Anyone who imagines
that all fruits ripen at the same time as the strawberries knows
nothing about the grapes.
He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a
man.
Dr. Johnson
He who lives by the sword, should go out and get himself a really
nice sword.
Lev L. Spiro
He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.
Jack Bross
He was a wine taster without a tongue.
Richard Jeni
He who desires but acts not breeds pestilence.
William Blake
He who does not enjoy his own company is usually right.
Coco Chanel
He thinks scruples are a Russian currency and morals are wall
Sabrina
paintings.
He was a small claims court jester.
Steven Wright
He tried to kill me with a forklift...
Fugitive Alien I
He travels the fastest who travels alone.
Rudyard Kipling
He who has so little knowledge of human nature as to seek
happiness by changing anything but his won disposition will waste
his life in fruitless efforts.
Samuel Johnson
He who fears the unknown may one day flee from his own
backside.
Sinbad
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed Galileo Galilee
us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their
use.
I do not believe that any type of religion should ever be introduced
into the public schools of the United States.
Thomas Edison
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
Isaac Asimov
I distrust all systematisers, and avoid them. The will to a system
shows a lack of honesty.
Nietzsche
I do know a few things about anatomy, Jean-Luc.
Beverly
I do have a life outside this house, you know.
Marge Simpson
I do desire we may be better strangers.
Shakespeare
He who hesitates is sometimes saved.
James Thurber
I discovered an invisible empire of the air. Intangible, yet solid as
granite.
Lee De Forest
He who is bent on doing evil can never want occasion.
Publilius Syrus
He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby
Friedrich Nietzsche
become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss
gazes also into you.
He who forgets will be destined to remember.
Pearl Jam
I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your
right to say it.
Voltaire
I discovered the secret of the sea in meditation upon the dewdrop.
Kahlil Gibran
He who stops being better stops being good.
Oliver Cromwell
He will always be a slave who does not know how to live upon a
little.
Horace
He who would be friends with God must remain alone or make the
whole world his friend.
Mahatma Ghandi
He who talks of wheel of life may merely be spokesman.
Johnny Chen
Have the boy sent to the bridge.
Picard
He that is of the opinion money will do everything may well be
suspected of doing everything for money.
Ben Franklin
He was using pins to create microholes in the top of the beer bottle. James Cook
He who always goes against the fashion is himself its slave.
La Rochefoucald
He writes A, he says B, he means C, and it should be D.
Joel Franklin
I think Newt Gingrich should dance with the gal that brung him.
And the gal that brung him was the tax-and-spend issue and crime
and welfare.
William Weld
I realized that the purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas,
obscure poor reasoning, and inhibit clarity.
Calvin
I realized my heart had abducted my mind and they were last seen
headed south...
Melissa Etheridge
I read the news today, Oh boy...
John Lennon
I know on which side my bread is buttered.
John Heywood
I prefer the company of equals.
Riker
I prefer cremation. Make me toast, well done, please.
Samantha Crouse
I promise I will not get any film in which humans are messily
devoured.
Wen-King Su
I quit. I hate this shit, and this shit obviously hates me back.
Rohit Khare
I prefer the wicked rather than the foolish. The wicked sometimes
rest.
Alexandre Dumas Pere
I profoundly believe it takes a lot of practice to become a moral
slob.
William F. Buckley
I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve. I have a history
of losing my shirt.
Barenaked Ladies
I have a theory that hieroglyphics are really an ancient comic strip
about a character named Sphynxie.
When Harry Met Sally
I have a firm grip on reality. Now I can strangle it.
Jolyon Silversmith
I have a microwave fireplace. You can lay down in front of the fire
all night in eight minutes.
Steven Wright
I have a long journey to take, and must bid the company farewell.
Sir Walter Raleigh
I have a headache this big, and it has a boot to the head written all
over it.
Jeff Magnuson
I have a hard time getting pissed at a compiler that was free, so I
like the non-free ones better.
John Dobbin
I have a solution for X, but it involves Uma Thurman, some linseed Duck
oil, and a pair of jumper cables - none of which I have at my
disposal at the present moment.
I have a jean folding seminar to attend.
Reality Bites
I have come to the conclusion that politics is too serious a matter to
be left to the politicians.
Charles de Gaulle
I have been placed upon this Earth to torment you. YOU....
Dan Martinez
I have been poor and I have been rich. Rich is better.
Sophie Tucker
I put a humidifier and a de-humidifier in the same room and let
them fight it out.
Steven Wright
I propose we leave math to the machines and go play outside.
Calvin
I nfs mounted a goat once
QJ
I no longer want to be rich, sucessful, etc. All I want is to be
comfortable and happy.
John Dobbin
I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
Gore Vidal
I never met a man who knew so much about nothing.
Seinfeld
I once had a girl, or should I say, she once had me.
The Beatles
I once listed all the good things I did over the past year, and then
turned them into resolution form and backdated them. That was a
good feeling.
Robert Fulghum
I now qualify for the witless protection program.
Adam Rifkin
I once named a Usenet server tatooine, for the vast wasteland that
Usenet is. Maybe this thread should be relegated there also.
Eric Germann
I once stole a pornographic book that was printed in Braille. I used
to rub the dirty parts.
Bananas
I once put instant coffee in a microwave and went back in time.
Steven Wright
I never thought that being obnoxious would get me where I am
now.
Billie Joe Armstrong
I never trust a man unless I have his pecker in my pocket.
Lyndon B. Johnson
I personally could have a gallon of Alan.
Friends
I passionately hate the idea of being with it, I think an artist has
always to be out of step with his time.
Orson Welles
I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car
going really fast, and stick it out the window.
Steven Wright
I played a blank tape on full volume. The mime who lived next door Steven Wright
complained. So I shot him with a gun with a silencer.
I plead the Fifth Commandment.
Guys and Dolls
i predict stale humor
Joshua Schachter
I pine for the sheer stupidity of the old macho days, when men
would brandish hammers and build huge, bulky cars that sucked up
gas and tore open the ozone layer and crushed small animals
Denis Leary
beneath totally useless but totally cool-looking tail fins. When men
were apes with good shoes and a dental plan.
I never thought I would owe my life to a traditional English
breakfast.
MacGyver
I never swallowed a goldfish. I should.
Doug DeJulio
I pity duh fool.
Mr. T
I often quote myself. It adds spice to my conversation.
G.B. Shaw
I resolve to show no tolerance for those less fortunate... redefine
morality to suit my short term objectives... and conquer the planet
earth and make all the inhabitants my slaves.
Dogbert
I rob from the rich and give to the middle class... well, UPPER
middle class.
OPM
I regret to say that we of the F.B.I. are powerless to act in cases of
oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way obstructed
interstate commerce.
J. Edgar Hoover
I regret to say that we of the FBI are powerless to act in cases of
oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way obstructed
interstate commerce.
J. Edgar Hoover
I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood
around singing Happy Birthday.
Steven Wright
I really like the word Nyarlathotep.
John Dobbin
I promise to get drugs off the street and into the hotel room where
they belong.
Marion Barry
I resent the insinuendoes.
David Farber
I represent angry, gun toting, meat eating people.
Denis Leary
I recently obtained an Open Firmware specification book, and
found it quite useful. As soon as I try to read this book, I become
sleepy as if I read a phone book.
Hamada Naoki
I refuse to allow facts to cloud my argument.
John Dobbin
I regard you with an indifference closely bordering on aversion.
Robert Louis Stevenson
I recommend spreading grape jelly on your torso and slapping your
forehead against an overripe cantaloupe.
Dogbert
I really wish the people who are in charge of the jewish conspiracy
to control the world would let me in on it.
Andrew Stellman
I get everything I want when I get part of you.
Nine Inch Nails
I give you my word, I will never carry frozen poultry in my
luggage.
John Dobbin
I get women naked, and pass the savings on to you.
Tony Halasohoris
I got married so I could STOP dating.
When Harry Met Sally
I got myself a bad-ass new ACM SIGLinux shirt at the Fajita Fest
Wesley Felter
today. I love America, where you can sell shirts depicting a penguin
beating the richest man in the world to death.
I get my exercise acting as a pallbearer to my friends who exercise.
Chauncey Depew
I guess what I am saying is that you would have to be more specific Sam Greenfield
in order for me to answer your question.... But my post does have a
lot of acronyms
I had a beautiful day today. I even died and lived to tell about it.
The World According to
Garp
I guess the hard thing for a lot of people to accept is why God
would allow me to go running through their yards, yelling and
spinning around.
Jack Handey
I have a conservative penis.
Michael Miller
I hated my place in the world.
Jerry Maguire
I hate every boy I ever kissed. While going through my shaky
mental list, I could not think of one who was not deserving of my
hatred... even the so-called good guys.
Tara Morrison
I hate the idea of causes, and if I had to choose between betraying
my country and betraying my friend, I hope I should have the guts
to betray my country.
E. M. Forster
I hate mankind, for I think myself on of the best of them, and I
know how bad I am.
Samuel Johnson
I had a hard day at the orifice.
random gynecologist
I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
I hate quotations.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
I got arrested trying to smuggle books into Kentucky.
Steven Wright
I got just two words for you, neither of which I am allowed to utter. Adam Rifkin
I got a wild hair growing you-know-where.
George Carlin
I hate myself and want to die.
Nirvana
I have no respect for people with no shopping agenda.
Mallrats
I have no exucse for being late, but I have a reason.
Joel Franklin
I have nothing to declare except my genius.
Oscar Wilde
I have noticed that cats are little impressed by religion.
Sherri Tepper
I have no use for men who fail. The cause of their failure is no
business of mine, but I want successful men as my associates.
John D. Rockefeller
I have no genitalia, I sold my kids for cheese.
Weird Al Yankovic
I have forgotten more law than you ever knew, but allow me to say, Sir John Maynard
I have not forgotten much.
I have lived in this world just long enough to look carefully the
second time into things that I am most certain of the first time.
Josh Billings
I have come up with some interesting variations, especially in the
area of compound verbs.
George Carlin
I have measured out my life with coffee spoons.
T. S. Eliot
I have a photographic memory, but I keep forgetting to put the film
in.
Peter Campbell
I have a plan so cunning you could brush your teeth with it.
Blackadder II
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
Mark Twain
I have made good judgments in the Past. I have made good
judgments in the Future.
Vice President Dan Quayle
I have made mistakes, but have never made the mistake of claiming James Gordon Bennett
I never made one.
I have made mistakes but I have never made the mistake of
claiming that I have never made one.
James Gordon Bennett
I have loved the stars too fondly to ever fear the night.
Robert Miller
I have looked in so many places that I am sure I am closer to its
being found than it being lost.
Winnie the Pooh
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to
make it shorter.
Blaise Pascal
I have found power in the mysteries of thought.
Euripides
I have great faith in fools - self confidence my friends call it.
Edgar Allan Poe
I have high hopes. Time to move that rubber tree plant.
John Dobbin
I have had people walk out on me before, but not when I was being
so charming.
Blade Runner
I have a feeling good taste is not one of your strong points.
Golden Years
I got these glasses because I knew my parents would pay for them. I Fleur Dragan
got the ones that made me look like an art curator, like a secretary...
not like a real secretary, like a secretary in a porn film.
I got your oak between my legs. More like a redwood.
John Dobbin
I gotta keep juggling all the balls.
Howard Stern
I grew up dreaming of being on Oprah... but not the show.
Matthew Perry
I have discovered the art of deceiving diplomats. I tell them the
truth and they never believe me.
Camillo Di Cavour
I have David Hasselhoff and Laura Branigan singing a duet.
Howard Stern
I have dirty thoughts about everyone I meet.
Howard Stern
I have delusions of adequacy.
Bruce Sherrod
I have kitten breath.
So I Married an Axe
Murderer
I have learned more from my mistakes than from my successes.
Sir Humphry Davy
I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you
find yourself up there.
Fred Allen
I have just signed legislation outlawing Russia.
Ronald Reagan
i have found that the closer to midnight it gets, the closer to my ass
anything i say becomes.
Owen Davis
I plead alignment to the flakes of the united snakes of a merry cow, Matt Groening
and to the Republicans for which they scam, one nacho, underpants,
with licorice and jugs of wine for owls.
I played first chair in the high school band until they gave me an
instrument.
George R. Hext
I like to carry around three or four cans of that tire patching spray
just in case something happens.
Paul Bossi
I like this wal-mart funeral home idea.
John Dobbin
I like this opera crowd. I feel tough.
Seinfeld
I like these zero-action requests.
Adam Rifkin
I like the stress, it keeps me bright-eyed and perky. Okay, wild-eyed Jan Ruocco
and high-strung, whatever.
I lost a button hole today.
Steven Wright
I make my own water. Two glasses of H, one glass of O.
Steven Wright
I married the first man I ever kissed. When I tell my children that,
they just about throw up.
Barbara Bush
I married beneath me. All women do.
Lady Astor
I managed to write a reasonable length note without mentoning
basketball and without using greater than signs.
John Dobbin
I like the word INDOLENCE. It makes my laziness seem classy.
Bern Williams
I like to eat my friends, I make no bones about it.
The Police
I like my sugar with coffee and cream.
Beastie Boys
I like that you corrected my change to your text.
John Dobbin
I like my mixed metaphors shaken, not stirred, thank you.
Eric Raymond
I like long walks. Especially when they are taken by people who
annoy me.
Fred Allen
I love him for the man he wants to be, and I love him for the man he Jerry Maguire
almost is.
I love getting mail. Just the fact that someone licked a stamp for
you is very reassuring.
Thomas Magnum
I love children, especially when they cry, for then someone takes
them away.
Nancy Mitford
I love deadlines. I love the whooshing sound they make as they fly
by.
Douglas Adams
I lost closer friends the last time I was deloused.
Blackadder IV
I love you, and I support you, and come nightfall you are going to
owe me SO big.
Mad About You
I may not be totally perfect, but parts of me are excellent.
Ashleigh Brilliant
I make my living off the evening news, just give me something,
something I can use.
Don Henley
I may be wrong, but you will always be short.
Keith Rogers
I may despise what you say, but I will defend to the death your right Voltaire
to say it.
I may not bring skill to this venture, but at least I bring opinion.
James Cook
I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us
as equals.
Winston Churchill
I need this Texas trip like I need a hole in the head.
JFK
I must decline your invitation owing to a subsequent engagement.
Oscar Wilde
I myself manage to hold large numbers of wholly irreconcilable
views simultaneously, without the least difficulty. I do not think
others are less versatile.
Salman Rushdie
I never drink... wine.
Dracula
I need to find a mountain that has a serious chance of killing me.
Kevin Kozicki
I must find the oaf who did this thing, explain to him his offense,
give him a chance to apologize, and kill him.
Robert A. Heinlein
I must first reveal my personal bias in this discussion, since I
worship at the First Church of PDF Really Sucks.
Bruce Tognazzini
I never know how much of what I say is true.
Better Midler
I must say, their term limits proposal is looking better to me every
day.
Bill Clinton
I miss the comfort in being sad.
Kurt Cobain
I must admit my education in the assgoblin arena has been sadly
lacking, perhaps you can clue me in
Vijay Gill
I move we recess to go outside and throw up.
Texas House Speaker Gib
Lewis during a budget
hearing
I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.
Rodney Dangerfield
I long to accomplish a great and noble task, but it is my chief duty
Helen Keller
to accomplish small tasks as if they were great and noble.
I looked it up in the dictionary under L, and there it was... the
meaning of life. It was less than I expected.
Dogbert
I look at a hundred deals a day. I pick one.
Wall Street
I like to think of my life as having sex with a woman in a coma
John Dobbin
while wearing a condom. I get what I need, but nobody else notices
I was there.
I like rules. Rules are good.
John Dobbin
I live in San Francisco, where Halloween is redundant.
Will Durst
I might as well be dead, but I could kill you instead.
PJ Harvey
I need you here with me, not way over in a bucket seat.
Cake
I never did drugs because I am drugs.
Salvador Dali
I need to make some progress on this talk, but I also need some
tacos...
Rohit Khare
I like women. I prefer they be nude and subservient, but I like them. John Dobbin
I like to verb words.
Calvin
I liked Beauty and the Beast a lot. Bitter, isolated, and physically
repulsive. I can identify with that.
Kevin Goldsmith
I love it when you talk like a beer commercial.
All of Me
I love the smell of sophistry in the morning.
Eric Rowe
i suffer for art. or from it, rather.
Brad Barkett
I think he will really enjoy living here. There are so many things he Gordon Irlam
can complain about.
I subscribed him to crack, since he is obviously smoking it.
Richard Bullington
I suggest you step out on your porch to see it all.
Pearl Jam
I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wake-up
letter.
Steven Wright
I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me
to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.
Shirley Temple
I suggest that we allow clear assertions that can be understood by
humans familiar with the domain of discourse.
Mani Chandy
I thig I hab a feether.
Cindy Parker
I start with the premise that the function of leadership is to produce
more leaders, not more followers.
Ralph Nader
I see this glass not half-empty, but half-full and more.
George H. W. Bush
I think frank and open discussion is a good thing, and we should be
willing to admit that we have made mistakes and that others have
Mani Chandy
done work ahead of us.
I tell you the past is a bucket of ashes.
Carl Sandburg
I thank the NRA for defending my right to hunt bunny rabbits with
an automatic weapon.
Bobcat Golthwait
I think a lot of gay people who are not dealing with their
homosexuality get into right-wing politics.
Armistead Maupin
I still contend that shiftiness is a leading cause of murder.
Greg Plesur
I overslept one day and got so far behind that now I think I am
ahead.
Calvin and Hobbes
I suppose some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
T. S. Eliot
I once thought that Verilog was a misbegotten spawn of Satan, with Martin Frankel
despicable syntax, miserably inadequate data structures, and
hopelessly redundant semantics. I now believe that anyone who
finds fault with Verilog must fundamentally misunderstand its
design and purpose. Throughout, I managed to maintain the
philosophic basis of my entire existance, to wit, never believe
anything which anyone will ever agree with.
I swear I recognize your breath...
Pearl Jam
I take heart in the fact that your death resulting from you simply
forgetting to breathe is likely.
Kevin Zygmontas
I take my chances, every chance I get.
Mary Chapin-Carpenter
I take a shower every week, whether I need it or not.
CT Gardner
I take all major forms of death.
Jarett Kobek
I suppose hating bunnies is just completely evil.
John Dobbin
I taught I taw a puddy tat.
Tweety
i take refuge in the fact that what i lack in perversity i make up for
in obscurity.
Andrew Stellman
I should sooner live in a society governed by the first two thousand
names in the Boston telephone directory than in a society governed
by the two thousand faculty members of Harvard University.
William F. Buckley, Jr.
I should edit more, but hey. Life sucks.
Fleur Dragan
I slept and dreamt that life was joy, I awoke and saw that life was
service, I acted and behold, service was joy.
Rabindranath Tagore
I should be allowed to think, and I should be allowed to blurt the
merest idea, if by random whim one occur to me but sadly, this can
never be, I am not allowed to think.
They Might Be Giants
I shot Jon and all I got was his bloody tshirt.
Elliott Evans
I speak Spanish to God, Italian to women, French to men, and
German to my horse.
Emperor Charles V.
I never lie when I have sand in my boots
LaForge
I love the smell of napalm in the morning. It smells like victory.
Apocalypse Now
I love the smell of Nutrasweet in the morning.
Adam Rifkin
I love the smell of Napalm in the morning...
Colonel Kilgore
I never let my schooling get in the way of my education.
Mark Twain
I love the confidence that makeup gives me.
Tyra Banks
I love the culture of victimhood.
Calvin
I love my dead gay son.
Heathers
I love not man the less, but nature more.
Lord Byron
I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madmen,
starving hysterical naked.
A. Ginsberg
I see mom in the url, must be promising.
Brian Richardson
I saw the sign. And it opened up my eyes.
Ace of Base
I saw the worst bands of my generation applied by magic marker to They Might Be Giants
dry wall.
I seem to be having problems with my lifestyle.
Arthur Dent
I see your schwartz is as big as mine.
Spaceballs
I see your point. And raise you a line
Elliot Smorodinsky
I shall live badly if I do not write, and I shall write badly if I do not
live.
Francoise Sagan
I serioiusly doubt I will ever evolve to the level of a Voxer.
Tim Byars
I shall return.
Douglas MacArthur
I saw Eternity the other night, like a ring of pure and endless light,
all calm, as it was bright, and round beneath it, Time, in hours,
days, years, driven by the spheres, like a vast shadow moved, in
which the world and all her train were hurled.
Henry Vaughan
I sold out a true friend for a bunch of swatch dogs and diet
cokeheads.
Heathers
I sound my barbaric yawp over the rooftops of the world.
Walt Whitman
I snaked your bagel. I just wanna munch.
Encino Man
I sound my barbaric yawn over the rooftops of the world.
Adam Rifkin
I see further by standing on the shoulders of giants.
Sir Isaac Newton
I say, beware of all enterprises that require new clothes...
Thoreau
I shot an arrow into the air, and it stuck.
Graffito in Los Angeles
I had already anticipated your lameness, and made plans to go to
ballroom or something
Vijay Gill
I would rather be rich than stupid.
Jack Handey
I would rather be governed by the first two thousand names in the
Cambridge telephone directory than by the faculty of Harvard.
William F. Buckley
I would rather exercise than read a newspaper.
Kim Alexis
I would not cross the road to piss on him if he was on fire.
Nici Sterling
I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in magnificent Jack London
glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet. The proper function of
man is to live, not to exist. I shall not waste my days in trying to
prolong them. I shall use my time.
I write this book not for the moment, but for all time.
Joel Franklin
I would sooner live in a society governed by the first two thousand
names in the Boston telephone directory than in a society governed
by the two thousand faculty members of Harvard University.
William F. Buckley, Jr.
I would rather suffer defeat than have cause to be ashamed of
victory.
Quintus Curtius
I would rather starve than eat your bread.
Pearl Jam
I wrote a story about my mother. It was called the Castrating
Zionist.
Woody Allen
I Xeroxed a mirror. Now I have an extra xerox machine.
Steven Wright
I write one page of masterpiece to ninety one pages of shit. I try to
put the shit in the wastebasket.
Ernest Hemingway
I want a woman with the body of Cindy Crawford and the mind of
Homer Simpson.
The Second Half
I want to be a lion. Everybody wants to pass as cats.
Counting Crows
I want to be like them in every way.
Butt-head on the Beastie
Boys
I want a car as powerful as a gorilla, yet soft and yielding like a
nerfball.
Homer Simpson
I want electricity to become so cheap that only the rich can afford
candles.
Thomas Edison
I thought we all were children of God.
Hunchback of Notre Dame
I thought, hey I can leave, I can leave, but now I know that I was
wrong. Because I missed you.
Lisa Loeb
I thought they were joking when they said a degree was proof that
you can read and write...
Robert Harley
I tried to have one night stands, but they just kept coming back for
more.
Michelle Morrell
I want it so clammy that putting a hand in a golf glove feels like
giving a water buffalo a prostate exam.
Dan Moffett
I took a speed reading course and read War and Peace. It involves
Russia.
Woody Allen
I want something to organize my life and it should play tetris.
Chris Grimes
I want pizza.
Multiplicity
I view the landslide of C use in education as something of a
calamity.
Niklaus Wirth
I walk along a thin line darling, dark shadows follow me.
Elvis
I used to worry about what life was for - now being alive seems
sufficient reason.
Joanna Field
I think Santa needs a fifth of scotch.
Jay Leno
I think rational arguments are against the charter of this newsgroup, Per Abrahamsen
but what the heck, here are two.
I think reality walked out of here five minutes ago.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
I think someone installed HateDoubler onto my PC.
Bruce Sherrod
I wanna own a combine someday. A Zamboni too.
John Dobbin
I wanna trade you for granite.
John Dobbin
I used to practice with a ketchup bottle in the bathroom.
Toni Braxton
I used to go to Liars Anonymous but I told them I was cured and
they believed me. Suckers.
John Dobbin
I walked into the adult book store, and my heart was beating faster Rugburns
than the drums at the tip of Zimbabwe. They never taught me nothin
bout this in Catholic school.
I walk along darkened corridors.
They Might Be Giants
I USED TO HEART MY DUMB FRIENDS UNTIL I DECIDED
TO CLUB THEM ALL WITH A SPADE AND SELL THEIR
DIAMONDS TO BUY MORE RAM.
Faisal Jawdat
I thought that the chief thing to be done in order to equal boys was Elizabeth Cody Stanton
to be learned and courageous. So I decided to study Greek and learn
to manage a horse.
I thought that you should be the first to know. I joined the psychotic Hugh Moore
friends network.
I try to use these words as often as possible, regardless of whether
or not they are really appropriate.
John Thornley
I used to be Snow White, but then I drifted.
Mae West
I used to be a Capricorn, but then I changed my mind.
Andy Breckman
I used to be disgusted, now I try to stay amused.
Elvis Costello
I toast, therefore I am.
Red Dwarf
I told all of our original investors that they would lose their money
Jeff Bezos
for sure.
I tried to use my halo as a life preserver, but it sprung a leak.
Foetus
I use not only all the brains I have, but all I can borrow.
Woodrow Wilson
I understand. I used to believe in things when I was a kid.
Homer Simpson
I unfortunately let AOL start up.
Suzy Gooch
I wonder how hard the LSAT is... I wonder if I could get into law
school... I wonder if I could be a lawyer without choking myself to
death one cold, quiet winter night...
Robert Rodgers
I know of no more valuable commodity than information.
Wall Street
I know nothing except the fact of my ignorance.
Socrates
I know nothing.
Ken Thompson
I know nothing about sex, because I was always married.
Zsa Zsa Gabor
I know not what course others may take, but as for me, give me
liberty, or give me death.
Patrick Henry
I learned all the theories, and realized that ethics theories are the
bunk. With ethics, practice is all that matters. What you do is what
you are.
Adam Rifkin
I know you are super busy, though, so if you cannot respond, I will
remain your friend, but I will be forced to poison you with Sweet
Tart concentrate.
Kriste Jordan
I like a nice dark blend... espresso or something similar. Dark but
not bitter is the key word for me - the African coffees are always
nice.
Megan Coughlin
I like a man who grins when he fights.
Winston Churchill
I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and
besides, the pig likes it.
George Bernard Shaw
I like a good beer buzz early in the morning.
Sheryl Crow
I have to sharpen my adze so I can continue working on my carving Megan Coughlin
of Boutros-Boutros Gali.
I have trouble enough trying to fit it in in very low periods.
Robert Harley
I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock
Elayne Boosler
every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there
picking the locks, they are always locking three.
I know that most men, including those at ease with problems of the
greatest complexity, can seldom accept even the simplest and most
obvious truth if it be such as would oblige them to admit the falsity
of conclusions which they have delighted in explaining to
colleagues, which they have proudly taught to others, and which
they have woven, thread by thread, into the fabric of their lives.
Leo Tolstoy
I kept my nose to spite my face.
Barbara Streisand
I just went over the Emancipation Proclamation and Lincoln never
signed it.
Eddie Murphy
I just watched the wall, i might as well be drunk.
Steve Bajzek
I knew a Southern bigot who was a bed wetter. He used to go to his Woody Allen
Klan meetings in rubber sheets.
i have now officially read every single quote in your quote file. i
now officially have no life.
May Jawdat
I know faisal. That alone qualifies me for several dozen high-tech
jobs.
Tripp Lilley
I know everyone says sense of humor, but I really have to go with
breast size.
So I Married an Axe
Murderer
I have noticed that the people who are late are often so much jollier
than the people who have to wait for them.
E.V. Lucas
I had a splitting headache, and Chris had to lead me around by the
hand to liquor stores.
Mike Wallace
I had a lot of pimples too. One day I fell asleep in a library. I woke
up and a blind man was reading my face.
Rodney Dangerfield
I had to wake up to call in sick to work.
Kristin Buckwalter
I happen to be a Republican president- ah, the vice president.
Vice President Dan Quayle
I had to quit my job to have time to read my email.
Adam Curry
I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow than a man swear he loves
me.
Much Ado About Nothing
I had to use FORTRAN on many occasions to help my parents out.
Most courts would consider that child abuse.
Andrew Stellman
I just want you to be happy.
Megan Coughlin
I just want what every woman wants... a nice home, a loving family, Kathy Ireland
an occasional spanking...
I just used an emoticon, I feel so unclean...
Mike Wallace
I just think we should give them REAL toilet paper.
Blackadder IV
I just think the whole thing is a testament to my inner peace. Or a
testament to my deafness.
John Dobbin
I just think my life would be a lot easier if I were a John Grisham
character.
Adam Rifkin
I KNOW you, sir. I have SEEN you TRAIPSE on the FIELDS of
Paul Mazaitis
the APACAPSE. I have WATCHED you BEACH your BOAT on
the BRANDED SANDS of the ISLE MOTAG. I have FELT the
ANGELS BLEEDING, their SOILED SWEAT landing with a
TRICKLE upon your UNFETTERED BROW. I have TASTED the
BLACK GUM you have left on our SWEET STREETS in your
MAD CHASE for the next SPEED BUMP. With my LEFT HAND
I have USHERED IN this AGE, and with my RIGHT, this
BURRITO. I. KNOW. YOU.
I just like it the way I like it.
When Harry Met Sally
I know all there is to know about the crying game.
Dave Berry
I just need enough to tide me over until I need more.
Bill Hoest
I just finished a course called baseball connections for a salary
increment. You cannot believe how little a person can know after
living fifty years.
Linda Rifkin
I just got skylights put in my place. The people who live above me
are furious.
Steven Wright
I, on the other hand, have had just about all the discomfort I can
stand for a day.
Mallrats
I, of course, never did anything wrong. Except maybe that fourway-stop. And a couple of other things. Maybe.
Michelle Morrell
I herewith commission you to carry out all preperations with regard Herman Goering
to the Total Solution of the Jewish question in those territories of
Europe which are under German influence.
I think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated his
ability.
Oscar Wilde
I wonder if angels believe in ghosts.
Jack Handey
I would just like a really really strong spork if thats not too much to John Fessenden
ask..
I would use trial-and-error but that always turns into trial-andrenistall-windows for me.
Marc Popetz
I would drape myself in velvet if it were socially acceptable.
Seinfeld
I would give it all. Catch me as I fall.
REM
I would be proud to partake in your pecan pieeee.
When Harry Met Sally
I would like to take you seriously, but to do so would affront your
intelligence.
William F. Buckley, Jr.
I would like, do homework and stuff, for your love.
Butt-head
I would like to thank the Academy, even though this is an Emmy.
Howard Stern
I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up
something else.
Lily Tomlin
I worry about being called a racist so much that when I do my
laundry I refuse to separate the whites from the colors.
Dennis Miller
I have sworn on the altar of God Eternal to fight every tyranny
against the mind of man.
TJ
I hope you know that this will go down on your permanent record.
Violent Femmes
I hope that someday we will be able to put away our fears and
prejudices and just laugh at people.
Jack Handey
I hope we never lose sight of one thing... that it all started with a
mouse.
Walt Disney
I have sworn upon the altar of God, eternal hostility against every
form of tyranny over the mind of man.
Thomas Jefferson
I have the fourth Tiffany album. Somehow I suspect this is more
pathetic.
John Dobbin
I have rarely, if ever, seen Acknowledgement sections as
gratuitously profligate as yours.
Rohit Khare
I have something BETTER than chocolate.
Riker
I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.
Oscar Wilde
I have the best hoobris in the business.
Rohit Khare
I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I read and I learn. I do and Confucious
I understand.
I HEART CHEAP IRONY
Kristiina Wilson
I herd cyberpunks on the electronic frontier.
Chad McDaniel
I hold that a little rebellion is a good thing.
Thomas Jefferson
I hope he states that the conception of marriage. The faithful,
monogamous part is out dated. That marriage as a partership is
intact, marriage as a ball and chain is not.
Tim Byars
I just bought a second VCR to support my television viewing.
John Dobbin
I invented the cordless extension cord.
Steven Wright
I is a university student.
Bumper sticker
I just came back from the Vatican... kind of disillusioning... they
had a Hard Rock.
Dennis Miller
I hear the handwriting on the wall.
David Farber
I hear my mom, I gotta go to bed.
Jerry Maguire
Jackie was a rich punk rocker, silver spoon and a paper plate.
The Nails
Jail dudes get to watch TV all day.
Beavis and Butt-head
Jealous was I ere I saw Suolaej.
John Dobbin
Java is a programming language whose primary purpose is in
writing business plans.
John C. Randolph
Jackie the man Chan looks older in person, but his smile is even
more disarming. I wanted to take a swing at him just for the honor
of having him kick my ass.
Duck
Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack burnt off his ------- ----.
Andrew Dice Clay
Jack Kerouac would have tossed him from a speeding vehicle.
Tom Gliatto
Its not the heat I mind... Its the Humanity.
Ryan Richards
If builders built buildings the way that programmers write
programs, the first woodpecker that came along would destroy
civilization.
Reede Stockton
If Canada is underdeveloped, so is Brigitte Bardot.
H.R. Macmillan
If dandelions were hard to grow, they would be most welcome on
any lawn.
Andrew V. Mason
If all has gone well, I am talking to myself, and you have a towel
wrapped around your head.
Arnold Schwarzenegger
If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a
committee
that will do them in.
If David Copperfield really did pay money to Claudia Schiffer to be Richard Goodman
his fiancee, I would have even more respect than ever for him and
for the power of money.
If criticism had any power to harm, the skunk would be extinct by
now.
Fred Allen
If anyone disagrees with anything I say, I am quite prepared not
only to retract it, but also to deny under oath that I ever said it.
Tom Lehrer
If at first you do succeed, try to hide your astonishment.
Los Angeles Times
Syndicate
If asked to be interactive, killing people is about as interactive as I
get.
Justin Broughton
If error is corrected whenever it is recognized as such, the path of
error is the path of truth.
Hans Rechenbach
If everyone walked around naked in the world, there would be less
misunderstanding.
Chicago Sons
Idiocy is the essence of the male mind.
Bill Watterson
Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality the cost becomes
prohibitive.
William Buckley
If a tree falls on your head in a forest and no one hears it, it still
hurts.
Paul Reiser
Ideas are part of a web... there is no beginning and no end, only
evangelism and faith.
Rohit Khare
Ideals are ironically far from ideal to have.
Mark Denovich
If a child shows himself to be incorrigible, he should be decently
and quietly beheaded at the age of twelve, lest he grow to maturity,
marry, and perpetuate his kind.
Don Marquis
Idleness, like kisses, to be sweet must be stolen.
Jerome K. Jerome
If a child lives with approval, he learns to live with himself.
Dorothy Law Nolte
If a fool persists in his folly he shall become wise.
William Blake
If a great man could make us understand him, we should hang him.
Geroge Bernard Shaw
In all recorded history there has not been one economist who has
had to worry about where the next meal would come from.
Peter F. Drucker
If atheism is a religion, then bald is a hair color.
Mark Schnitzius
If all our misfortunes were laid in one common heap when everyone Socrates
must take an equal portion, most people would be content to take
their own and depart.
If all printers were determined not to print anything till they were
sure it would offend nobody, there would be very little printed.
Benjamin Franklin
Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates
profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love.
Lao-tzu
Klaatu Barada Nikto.
The Day the Earth Stood
Still
King Jeremy the Wicked ruled his world. Jeremy spoke in class
today.
Pearl Jam
Law is order, and good law is good order.
Aristotle
Lavatory hand-dryers are factory-delivered with key words and
letters scratched out.
Cecil Adams
Layered protocols give the software implementor a chance to ruin
his performance in each layer.
Don Gillies
Lawyers are like beavers. They get in the main stream and jam it
up.
W. Freund
Laws are like cobwebs, which may catch small flies but let wasps
an hornets break through.
Jonathan Swift
Laughter is the closest distance between two people.
Victor Borge
Laugh, and the world laughs at you.
Peter Campbell
Laughing makes me warm.
Sam Heitov
Laughter is a good way to begin a friendship and the best way to
end one.
Oscar Wilde
Laughter is a tranquilliser with no side effects.
Arnold Glasow
Laughter is, after speech, the chief thing that holds society together. Max Eastman
Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over, and showing it
principally in one spot.
Josh Billings
LA is like several thousand square miles of American Express junk
mail, but without the same sense of moral depth.
Douglas Adams
Lack of skill dictates economy of style.
Joey Ramone
LA, SF, and NY make Sodom and Gomorrah look like Disneyland.
John Dobbin
Labels are devices for saving talkative persons the trouble of
thinking.
John Morley
L.A. El Lay. La-La Land. The Land of Fruits and Nuts. The City of Al Martinez
Fallen Angels, of palm trees, smog, and kosher burritos. Aldous
Huxley described it as a place of dreadful joy. Raymond Chandler
said it had the personality of a paper cup.
La cervelle des petits enfants, ca doit avoir comme un petit gout de
noisette.
Charles Baudelaire
Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is,
never try.
Homer Simpson
Kids these days. With their televisions and their Nikes and their
Megan Coughlin
crack cocaine. When I was a kid, we got high by beating each other
over the head with the legs of the deer we killed... and we liked it
that way.
Kristy Swanson is like the energizer bunny of movie plugs.
Richard Goodman
Kurt Cobain, the voice of our youth, considered a bullet the
pathway to truth.
Michael Swaine
Laugh it up, Fuzzball.
Han Solo
Jump right into my nightmare. The water is warm.
Jerry Maguire
Join us and the boys of summer for action. Which would be fine if
we were running a gay chatline.
NewsRadio
Joy can be real only if people look upon their life as a service, and
have a definite object in life outside themselves and their personal
happiness.
Leo Tolstoy
Joseph Stalin as The Fiddler on the Roof...
Friends
Judge what you have really done, and not what you think you have
done.
Isaac Stern
join the club, learn the handshake, shoot yourself.
Kristiina Wilson
Judge a man by his questions, not his answers.
Voltaire
Just a little faster...its not usually this soft.
Greg Marmaland
Jesus saves sinners... and redeems them for valuable cash prizes
John Wichers
Junk journalism is the evidence of a society that has at least one
thing right, that there should be nobody with the power to dictate
where responsible journalism begins.
Tom Stoppard
Just as our eyes need light in order to see, our minds need ideas in
order to conceive.
Nicolas Malebranche
Just as most issues are seldom black or white, so are most good
Stephen R. Schwambach
solutions seldom black or white. Beware of the solution that
requires one side to be totally the loser and the other side to be
totally the winner. The reason there are two sides to begin with
usually is because neither side has all the facts. Therefore, when the
wise mediator effects a compromise, he is not acting from political
motivation. Rather, he is acting from a deep sense of respect for the
whole truth.
Just because I can give multiple orgasms to the furniture by sitting
on it...
Blackadder IV
Just as iron rusts from disuse, even so does inaction spoil the
intellect.
Leonardo da Vinci
Last fall, Dietel, Morris, Silberschatz, and Tannenbaum published a Greg Fife
major paper that proved that the Halting Problem can be reduced to
playing a friendly game of risk.
Language is the dress of thought.
Samuel Johnson
Laugh at yourself first, before anyone else can.
Elsa Maxwell
Language is a virus from outer space.
William S. Burroughs
Language is a complementary moist lemon-scented cleansing
square.
Stephen Fry
Last week I forgot how to ride a bicycle.
Steven Wright
Last night we did it in doggie style
I sat up and begged while
she rolled over and played
dead.
Last week, Marion Barry was sworn in for his fourth term as mayor Dennis Miller
of Washington, DC. He was treated for second degree burns after
his fingers touched the bible.
Last Halloween was bad for me. I got real beat up. I went to a party Jim Samuels
dressed as a Pinata.
Last night I discovered a new form of oral contraceptive. I asked a
girl to go to bed with me and she said no.
Woody Allen
Last night I had a dream that my flour sack was kidnapped and the
abductors started sending me muffins in the mail.
Frasier
Know you know, and knowing is half the battle. The other half is
mostly treachery and groin kicks.
Dayv
It will make the bus in Speed look like Herbie the Love Bug.
KROQ
It would be nice if the Food and Drug Administration stopped
Robert Fuoss
issuing warnings about toxic substances and just gave me the names
of one or two things still safe to eat.
It would be considered perfectly good manners to take a leak out
the window.
David Letterman
It would be damn hard to burn the library of Alexandria if it had
mirror sites.
Jack Collins
It would not be better if things happened to men just as they wish.
Heraclitus
It would be an inconvenient rule if nothing could be done until
Winston Churchill
everything can be done.
Knowing the length of your gym schedule, that means you will be
in the gym for most of the afternoon.
John Thornley to Adam
Rifkin
Knowledge itself is power.
Francis Bacon
Know the score.
William S. Burroughs
Kneel, and prepare to receive me.
KROQ
Jealousy is the great exaggerator.
Friedrich von Schiller
Knowing when to optimize is as important as knowing how.
Tom Neff
Knowledge is power.
Francis Bacon
If you reveal your secrets to the wind you should not blame the
wind for revealing them to the trees.
Khalil Gibran
If you sat a monkey down in front of a keyboard, the first thing
typed would be a unix command.
Bill Lye
If Las Vegas really had hookers who were intelligent, well-spoken,
clean, educated, free of disease and looked like Elizabeth Shue,
every city and town in America would be depopulated of males,
because they would have run off to Las Vegas to pursue the dream.
Mr. Cranky
If you put your supper dish to your ear you can hear the sounds of a Snoopy
restaurant.
If you wanna change the world, shut your mouth.
Cracker
If you need a friend, get a dog.
Wall Street
If you still do not understand this process please shut off your
computer and go home.
Adam Kaplan
If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys.
James Goldsmith
If you only have a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail. Maslow
If you need a love doctor, I have like a medicated degree.
Butt-head
If you only knew the power of the Dark Side.
Darth Vader
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not
bite you. That is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
Mark Twain
If you plan to face tomorrow do it soon.
Gordon Lightfoot
If I could find a font that was less legible, I would do so.
Megan Coughlin
If I could go through the dorms and shoot people, exam pressures
would be put into perspective.
Professor Ralph Noble
If God had not meant for some people to be poorer than others, he
would not have published the Bible in paperback.
In God We Trust
If homosexuality were natural, God would have created Adam and
Bruce.
Anita Bryant
If it were not for the presents, an elopement would be preferable.
George Ade
If I buy a crate of oranges, and discover that the first layer is
entirely rotten, it is not rational to suppose that the rest is of
surpassing excellence to make up for it.
Bertrand Russell
If I can be of any help at all, you are in worse trouble than I
thought.
All of Me
If I should die before I wake... I guess someone gets an extra donut
in the morning.
Dennis Miller
If I had any humility I would be perfect.
Ted Turner
If I owned Texas and hell, I would rent out Texas and live in hell.
Sheridan
If I entered into an agreement with that man, I would be sticking my Samuel Goldwyn
head in a moose.
If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand.
Unix-Haters Handbook
If a picture is normally worth a thousand words, then that picture is
worth about twelve.
Rohit Khare
If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is
because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music
which he hears, however measured or far away.
Henry David Thoreau
If a man carries his own lantern, he need not fear darkness.
Hasidic saying
If a man would follow, today, the teachings of the Old Testament,
he would be a criminal. If he would follow strictly the teachings of
the New, he would be insane.
Robert Ingersoll
If it can kill you, it can probably get you high.
Robert Campbell
If a million people belive in a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing. Anatole France
If all else fails, immortality can always be assured by spectacular
error.
John Kenneth Galbraith
If a man neglects education, he walks lame to the end of his life.
Plato
If a man prepares dinner for you and the salad contains three or
more types of lettuce, he is serious.
Rita Rudner
If a man loves the labour of his trade, apart from any question of
success or fame, the gods have called him.
Robert Louis Stevenson
If a research project is not worth doing at all, it is not worth doing
properly.
Journal of Irreproducible
Results
if it helps, treat this as the ramblings of a raging cynic.
John Jantos
If its theme were any more artificially sweet, this movie would be
classified a carcinogen.
Mr. Cranky
If Jesus Christ were to come today, people would not even crucify
him. They would ask him to dinner, and hear what he had to say,
and make fun of it.
Thomas Carlyle
If I were to start the killing, I would be sure to do it in a remote,
wide-open place or someone is likely to get hurt.
Sam Kass
If I was the last man on Earth I bet we could do it in public.
Butt-head
If I wanted to talk to myself, I could do that in the shower.
Joel Franklin
If I were to begin life again, I should want it as it was. I would just
open my eyes a little more.
Jules Renard
If I had a dollar for every unfinished thought...
Adam Rifkin
Happy the people whose annals are blank in history-books.
Thomas Carlyle
If I have to cry, I think of my sex life. If I have to laugh, I think of
my sex life.
Glenda Jackson
If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed
suicide.
Mahatma Gandhi
If I had no duties, and no reference to futurity, I would spend my
life in driving briskly in a post-chaise with a pretty woman.
Samuel Johnson
I am not fit for this office and never should have been here.
Warren Harding
I am not asleep.
Ronald Reagan
I am not an Economist. I am an honest man
Paul McCracken
I am not arrogant.
Rush Limbaugh
It is bad luck to be superstitious.
Andrew W. Mathis
It is always worthwhile to spend huge amounts of time writing nifty Seth Golub
programs that save small amounts of time.
It is better aim for the stars and hit the moon, than to aim for the
trees, and hit the ground.
Suzanne Oggenfuss
It is better for civilization to be going down the drain than to be
coming up it.
Henry Allen
I am not arguing against using computers in school. I am arguing
against our sleepwalking attitudes towards it, against allowing it to
distract us from important things, against making a god of it.
Neil Postman
i am neither living nor dead, and being purely coincidental runs in
my family.
Florence King
I am not a wimp.
George H. W. Bush
I am not a crook.
Richard Milhouse Nixon
I am not now, nor have I ever been, a member of the demigodic
party.
Dennis Ritchie
I am not now, and never have been, a girl friend of Henry
Kissinger.
Gloria Steinem
I am not an animal.
Elephant Man
It is an immutable law in business that words are words,
Harold S. Geneen
explanations are explanations, promises are promises - but only
performance is reality.
It is a very good book, but it was not a book meant to be read.
Yaser Abu-Mostafa
It is always possible to aglutenate multiple separate problems into a Ross Callon
single complex interdependent solution. In most cases this is a bad
idea.
It is a luxury to be understood.
Emerson
It is always the best policy to speak the truth--unless, of course, you Jerome K. Jerome
are an exceptionally good liar.
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
Oscar Wilde
It is better to have a regular income than to be fascinating.
Oscar Wilde
It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that
encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children,
practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.
Pat Robertson on equal
rights
It is a lovely, old, gothic building, if somewhat inclined to smell
like urine.
Megan Coughlin on the
demolished interior of the
Multnomah County
Central Library in Portland
It is better to be a smart ass than a dumb ass.
Daniel Kaminsky
It is better to be defeated on principle than to win on lies.
Arthur Calwell
It is better to be hated for what you are than loved for what you are
not.
Andre Gide
It is better to be pissed off than pissed on.
Socrates
It is better to go into a corner slow and come out fast than to go into Stirling Moss
a corner fast and come out dead.
It is an illusion to think that more comfort means more happiness.
Happiness comes of the capacity to feel deeply, to enjoy simply, to
think freely, and to be needed.
Storm Jameson
It is better to debate a question without settling it, than to settle a
question without debating it.
Joseph Joubert
It is a lightsaber. The weapon of a Jedi Knight. Not as random or
clumsy as a blaster. An elegant weapon for a more civilized age.
Star Wars
It is a lesson which all history teaches wise men, to put trust in
ideas, and not in circumstances.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
It is a myth, not a mandate, a fable not a logic, and symbol rather
than reason by which men are moved.
Irwin Edman
It is a statistical impossibility that everyone in the neighborhood can Dave Engledow
be a complete butthead.
It is a profitable thing, if one is wise, to seem foolish.
Aeschylus
I am ignorant and impotent and yet, somehow or other, here I am
Aldous Huxley
unhappy, no doubt, profoundly dissatisfied... In spite of everything I
survive.
I am in a macho movie called GUNMEN, and I can guarantee you Denis Leary
that you never see my ass on any screen but if you do, it will not be
shaved. It will be hairy and hoary and very, very white.
I am large, I contain multitudes.
Walt Whitman
I am in deep smit.
So I Married an Axe
Murderer
I am in tomorrowland.
Rohit Khare
I am alt.discordia.
Anu Kapoor
I am a romantic. Love affairs are the only real education in life.
Marlene Dietrich
I am a woman meant for a man, but I never found a man who could
compete.
Bette Davis
I am currently using my powers for evil.
Shawn Ferry
I am human hear me roar in numbers too big to ignore.
John Dobbin
I am feeling really stupid now...
Toad the Wet Sprocket
I call you Lestat because you Suck.
Adam Rifkin
I BREAK HABITS WHILE THE NUNS ARE STILL IN THEM.
Rev. Ivan Stang
I break my self-imposed pedanticism diet to extol its pleated
jocularity, its geneology of wistful balladeering and carnival zeal.
Kasey Hicks
I came to confess. I was the second gunman on the grassy knoll.
Ace Ventura
I came to shut you up. I came to drag you down. I came around to
tear your little world apart.
Garbage
I am the keeper of the cheese... and you are the lemon merchant.
Ren Hoek
I am gayer than a cocaine tupperware party
Brad Barkett
I am Dyslexic, of Brog. Fesistence is rutile. You will be assissitated. Peter Chang
I am dyslexic of Borg. Your ass will be laminated.
Joshua Schachter
I am filled with humidity.
Texas House Speaker Gib
Lewis
I am fine, really... See, I can still remember my password...
Alex Wetmore
I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
W.C. Fields
I am going to save up every rupee. For someday, I will get back to
America, and when I do, I will exact vengeance on this man. I
cannot forget it. He haunts me. He is a very bad man. Very, very
bad man.
Seinfeld
I am not sincere, even when I say I am not.
Jules Renard
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for
Winston Churchill
the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
I am Pentium of Borg. Arithmetic is irrelevant. Prepare to be
approximated.
Andrew Toppan
I am the Alpha and the Omega. The archgenesis and the destroyer
of worlds. She is Karen.
Sam Kass
I am the future.
Senator Dan Quayle
I am always willing to learn, however I do not always like to be
taught.
Winston Churchill
I AM A MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER, AND I LIVE IN A VAN
DOWN BY THE RIVER.
Chris Farley
I am become Death, the Destroyer of worlds
Oppenheimer
I am as pure as the driven slush.
Tallulah Bankhead
I am an optimist. It does not seem too much use being anything
else.
Winston Churchill
I am an athlete, not an entertainer.
Jerry Maguire
I am an object at rest, flowing down through the point of least
resistance time and time again, waiting for the next nexus of least
resistance to present itself and let me through.
Adam Rifkin
It is easier to resist at the beginning than at the end.
Leonardo da Vinci
It could be argued that I know slightly less about what it means to
be in a healthy long-term relationship than your average monkey
does about what it feels like to drown in quicksand.
Dan Martinez
It could be argued that having e-mail is a prerequisite to dating me.
Megan Coughlin
It has yet to be proven that intelligence has any survival value.
Arthur C. Clarke
It hurt real bad.
John Wayne Bobbitt
It gets late early out here.
Yogi Berra
It has been said that man is a rational animal. All my life I have
been searching for evidence which could support this.
Bertrand Russell
It is a common failing of man not to take account of tempests
during fair weather.
Machiavelli
It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data.
Arthur Conan Doyle
It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations if you
live near him.
J.R.R. Tolkien
It does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are twenty gods or Thomas Jefferson
no God. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.
It seems that when the situation is at its worst, you people are at
your best.
Starman
It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that
Jack Handey
man.
It smells like fried dog hair.
Ghostbusters
It matters not how straight the gate, how charged with punishment
the scroll, I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul.
William Ernest Henry
It looks like a penis, only smaller.
Ford Fairlane
It may be that they started off retarded, or it may be that Delphi did
it.
Robert Rodgers
It seems that the Webcrawler is fast and loose, and Lycos is slow
and tight. Maybe Lycos would give you more of what you want.
Bob Allison
It is impossible for ideas to compete in the marketplace if no forum
for their presentation is provided or available.
Thomas Mann
It seems an anonymous benefactor posted, to certain pruriently
popular newsgroups, pictures of intrepid amazons baring their
mighty bosoms on the Disney ride. The legal, technical, moral,
ethical, and erotical implications are deliciously staggering.
Netsurfer Digest
It seemed like a silly idea at first, but now I sleep much better with
my eyes closed.
Wade Kwon
It seems everything in the world gets more valuable as it ages,
except the human body.
Ken Roesler
It requires the consumption of several souls of graduate students...
Paolo Sivilotti
It really is a shame that this is the only planet we have a choice to
live on.
Howard Stern
It happens. People just explode. Natural causes.
Repo Man
It got quiet. Any of you out there who have met me should realize
the staggering import of that statement.
Rohit Khare
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion. It is by the beans of
Java that the thougts acquire speed, the hands acquire shakes, the
shakes become a warning. It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in
motion.
Paul Ward
It is a kind of spiritual snobbery to think one can be happy without
money.
Camus
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion, it is by the beans of
java that the thoughts aquire speed, the hands aquire shakes, the
shakes become a warning, it is by caffeine alone I set my mind in
motion.
Dennis Ferguson
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
George Bernard Shaw
It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both
incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted
by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper.
Rod Serling
It is difficult for me to comprehend the fact that some people
actually do not consider all uses of explosives to be recreational.
Ragnar Benson
It is better to have loved and lost
much better.
It is easier to port a shell than a shell script.
Larry Wall
It is hard to fail, but it is worse to never have tried to succeed. In
this life we get nothing, save by effort.
Teddy Roosevelt
It is better to have tried and failed than never to have failed at all.
David Farber
It is better to limp all the way to heaven, than not to get there at all.
William Sunday
It is far safer to be feared than loved.
Machiavelli
It is good to know the truth, but it is better to speak of palm trees.
Arabic proverb
It bungles the brain
Thanh Boyer
It bothers me when people say, We lost Uncle Jim. It SOUNDS so
careless.
Irene Lisenbee Galvin
I came back as a bag of groceries accidentally taken off the shelf
before the date stamped on myself.
They Might Be Giants
I bet the human brain is a kludge.
Marvin Minsky
How terribly conservative of you. You should have gone bobbing
for mascara.
Adam Rifkin
However, you must be aware of the following procedures ...
otherwise you could find yourself checked into the Rain-Man Suite
of the Hotel Smackdown.
Mike Wallace
However, never daunted, I will cope with adversity in my
traditional manner... sulking and nausea.
Tom K. Ryan
HTTP is the COBOL of transport protocols.
Joe Kiniry
HUGE coconut cake with tiers, and there was this very rich
chocolate sauce on the side...
When Harry Met Sally
Human equality is a contingent fact of history.
Steven Jay Gould
Hudsucker needs a pawn. A proxy. A puppet. Some jerk we can
really push around.
Hudsucker Proxy
Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced, not because it has
been sober, responsible, and cautious, but because it has been
playful, rebellious, and immature.
Tom Robbins
Human strength lies not in extremes, but in avoiding extremes.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Human history becomes more and more a race between education
and catastrophe.
H.G. Wells
Humans are always trying to enslave ourselves. A job, a
relationship, kids...
Slacker
Hume suffered the usual misfortune of metaphysicists, of not being
understood.
Kant
I almost sided with the adults. I still like to think of myself as a
John Dobbin
child in all matters where permission is required. I thought I was
supposed to be able to wait until I had children before I had to play
the bad guy.
I always wanted to get into politics, but I was never light enough to
make the team.
Art Buchwald
Husbands are like fires. They go out if left unattended.
Zsa Zsa Gabor
I agree with Mr. Dobbin.
Arthur Narro
I admire your courage to bring us this news.... But as with all
Kane Tan
bearers of such news... such blasphemy to the existence of the Jihad
of DOOM, we will have to cause you severe pain and dump
multiple cores into your site through electronic mail.... Such is our
anger.... Hard drives in your campus will spin faster than their
allowable rate, burning out gigabytes of your precious memory,
plastic will burn, metal shall melt.... Such is our woe..... The
equipment in your very lab shall be disassmebled, as will all those
who are in the lab. No one shall escape the wrath of the humble
followers of Doom..... Such is to come.....
I agree.. lets get back to the important business of nanog, such as bashing UUnet.
Rodney Caston
Hung manic. What a combo.
John Dobbin
Humor is emotional chaos remembered in tranquility.
James Thurber
I am a greedy, selfish bastard. I want the fact that I existed to mean
something.
Harry Chapin
I AM A COLLEGE STUDENT AND I DO NOT HAVE ENOUGH May Jawdat
MONEY TO CALL PEOPLE WHO DRIVE CARS THAT COST
MORE THAN I DO.
I also miss the right xterm sometimes. I will not send as
shadow.admin anymore. Really.
Derrick Brashear
I am the voice inside your head... I am the hate you try to hide.
Nine Inch Nails
I am the sixty-megabyte core file you cannot find.
anonymous crossposter to
a kazillion groups
I begged somebody to jam a nail gun into my ear and end the agony Mr. Cranky
by firing away like Charlton Heston at a Barney Frank fund-raiser.
I believe aborting the keyboard with coke is only allowed to save
the life of the motherboard.
Arch Moberly
I bet David Lee Roth is in a bar somewhere trying to convince a girl Butt-head
he used to be the lead singer for Van Halen.
I bet drinking in the back of the bus with your girlfriend on school
trips must have put you in a damn coma.
John Dobbin
I can be as bad as you want me to be.
John Atheneos
I assure you there is a second tier, and a third, and a fourth. In this
Rohit Khare
assignation there is no justice, no fairness, no democracy, but it is
meted out just the same...
I best pull out my strap and lay them busters down.
Nate Dogg
I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and
democracy - but that could change.
Vice President Dan Quayle
I belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat.
Will Rogers
I believed you for a fleet of moments.
Thanh Boyer
I believe that massively parallel technology will effectively
complete the PC revolution.
MasPar Computer
president and CEO Jeffrey
Kalb
I believe we are free to be chained, to be slaves, to be chained, or to Booth and the Bad Angel
be free. I believe.
I believe that professional wrestling is clean and everything else in
the world is fixed.
Frank Deford
I believe I found the missing link between animal and civilized
man. It is us.
Konrad Lorenz
I am very interested in the Universe. I am specializing in the
universe and all that surrounds it.
Peter Cook
I believe that one day everyone, everywhere will know the wonders Stimpson J. Cat
of my nipples.
I believe that Ronald Reagan will someday make this country what
it once was... an arctic wilderness.
Steve Martin
I bought a million lottery tickets. I won a dollar.
Steven Wright
I came, I saw, I kicked his ass.
Ghostbusters
I can hide more easily. No one looks up in the rain.
John Dobbin
I can jump black holes
Stephen Hawking
I bet squirrel tales would be sort of cool to bite. If I were a duck.
John Dobbin
I bet one legend that keeps recurring throughout history, in every
culture, is the story of Popeye.
Jack Handey
I better say something funny soon, or Stellman will have more
quotes in your quotes file than me.
Bruce Sherrod
I can guarantee you that with me as fearless leader we will NOT
take a vow of celibacy.
Tim Byars
I can feel guilty about the past, apprehensive about the future, but
Abraham Maslow
only in the present can I act. The ability to be in the present moment
is a major component of mental wellness.
I came, I saw, I left.
Robin Williams
I can jump spreadsheets
Bill Gates
I can jump dictionareys
Vice President Dan Quayle
I can mend the break of day, heal a broken heart, and provide
temporary relief to nymphomaniacs.
Larry Lee
I can only address myself in single human beings now.
Slacker
I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.
Garrison Keillor
I actually have killed and would kill a shrimp or a fish or a clam.
My morality is very specific to my own circumstances.
Megan Coughlin
I actually enjoy arguing with idiots. It tends to free me from the
constraints of having to support my arguments.
John Dobbin
How much easier it is to be critical than correct.
Benjamin Disraeli
I am a jelly doughnut.
John F. Kennedy
I believe in peace and bashing two bricks together.
Archbishop Gumby
I believe in gangsta rap, gays and geeks and ghosts. I believe that
we die of all the things we hate the most.
Todd Snider
I believe in getting into hot water. It keeps you clean.
G.K. Chesterton
I believe in animal rights as well as human rights. I think that is part Abraham Lincoln
of being a total human being.
How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the
young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving
and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in your life
you will have been all of these.
George Washington Carver
It makes a difference whose ox is gored.
Martin Luther
Interesting, he said, and threw another log on the calculator.
The Bug Scientist from
Outer Space
Intermission gave way to a miracle.
Jellyfish
Ireland is the sow that eats her farrow.
James Joyce
irc wont ruin my grades. nothing can ruin my grades. that would
May Jawdat
entail my grades getting worse, which is physically impossible
unless the registrars office starts using letters of the cyrilic alphabet.
IOT trap
mos dumped
IRC is an ideal medium for asking questions extremely slowly, and
not reading the answers carefully.
Michael Meeks
Integrity is what we do, what we say, and what we say we do.
Don Galer
Intelligence reports are only useful for the intelligent.
Shane Henry
Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written
today.
Herman Wouk
Increasingly, we go to a company and we find not a company but a
product. Increasingly, that product is not so much a product but
Marc Andreesen
features of a product, and increasingly, those features are not
features but an idea.
Increasing vision is increasingly expensive.
R. A. Janek
Incorporate first, do something later.
John Dobbin
Incredible shrinking race.
Public Enemy
In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.
Benjamin Franklin
Indeed, Captain Picard, you have found him.
Spock
Instead of sponge bath, they send St. Bernard to lick you.
David Letterman
Irrationally held truths may be more harmful than reasoned errors.
Thomas Henry Huxley
Irrationality is the square root of all evil.
Douglas Hofstadter
In many industries, such as biotech, the cost and time required to
develop a new product are enormously high. In these markets, it is
sensible for the government to grant an award to innovators such
that investors have the proper incentives to fund new health
discoveries. ... To argue that the Internet sector suffers from a lack
of funding incentive would be, pardon the pun, patently absurd.
J. William Gurley
In lieu of running the world, I run a public access UNIX system in
NYC.
Nicholas Jarecki
In Mexico we have a word for sushi. Bait.
Jose Simon
In modern war... you will die like a dog for no good reason.
Ernest Hemingway
In my neighborhood, a man can get further with kind words and a
gun, than with kind words alone.
Al Capone
in my experience, MS Exchange does little more than prevent your
computer from being able to send mail. never make the mistake of
installing it on your system.
Andrew Stellman
In my mind, wives and dogs provide similar functionality. All I
want is some creature to lick my face.
John Dobbin
In love there is always one who kisses and one who offers the
cheek.
French proverb
In Brazil they throw flowers at you. In Argentina they throw
themselves.
Marlene Dietrich
In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right
thing, the next-best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing
you can do is nothing.
Theodore Roosevelt
In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right
thing. The worst thing you can do is nothing.
Theodore Roosevelt
In answer to the question of why it happened, I offer the modest
proposal that our Universe is simply one of those things which
happen from time to time.
Edward P. Tryon
In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.
W.B. Prescott
In my beginning is my end.
T.S. Eliot
In Florida, felons cannot adopt children. But evidently they can
have custody of any they may have brought into this world.
Because the ability to procreate is, in fact, a main indicator of
fitness to raise your offspring.
Megan Coughlin
In Heaven, all the interesting people are missing.
Friedrich Nietzsche
IOT trap
core dumped
Invoke not Reason. In the end it is too small a deity.
Alan Moore
In general, they do what you want, unless you want consistency.
Larry Wall
In every country and every age, the priest has been hostile to
Liberty.
Thomas Jefferson
In every situation, its good to have an agenda. The agenda here is
wasting time.
Chris Heiser
In MY book food should be nutrition AND entertainment.
Calvin
In diving to the bottom of pleasure we bring up more gravel than
pearls.
Honore de Balzac
In every country and every age, the priest has been hostile to
Thomas Jefferson
liberty. He is always in alliance with the despot ... they have
perverted the purest religion ever preached to man into mystery and
jargon, unintelligible to all mankind, and therefore the safer engine
for their purpose.
Keep your laws off my body.
John Dobbin
Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadows.
Helen Keller
Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half-shut
afterwards.
Benjamin Franklin
Keeping a quote file seriously improves your conversational skills.
James Cook
Justice is truth in action.
Benjamin Disraeli
Justified, ancient, ice cream van. You know the drill.
John Dobbin
Just zen it.
Adam Rifkin
Justice consists in taking from no man what is his.
Thomas Hobbes
Justice is incidental to law and order.
J. Edgar Hoover
Justice is a byproduct of winning.
Law and Order
Keeping busy and making optimism a way of life can restore your
faith in yourself.
Lucille Ball
Just let me enjoy this for a minute.
Jerry Maguire
Just let it lie.
When Harry Met Sally
Keep passing the open windows.
John Dobbin
Keep frisking yourself.
David Letterman
Kato, man, I do believe the time has finally come for a seventh
friend.
Matthew Perry
John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds
who had also never met.
Russell Beland
Joey, we ALWAYS know what you mean.
Friends
Jody, you have a monster can of whoop ass or three just waiting to Martin Frankel
explode on some fool. You just need to get in touch with your inner
can opener.
John Wayne, John Huston, Bill Holden, Bob Mitchum, Clark
Denis Leary
Gable, Babe Ruth, Lee Marvin, Sam Peckinpah. Men who drank
and fought and puked and ate raw meat right off the bone and drank
some more and fought some more and puked again and kept on
drinking. Men who died of massive heart attacks or sudden brain
seizures or who just plain f-ing blew up.
Jeremy spoke in class today.
Pearl Jam
Jerks and academia often go together.
Randy Bryant
Jerry Maguire inspired me. Not that this will have any lasting effect, John Dobbin
but it really did make me want to go out and change the world. In
much the same way Days Of Thunder made me want to go out and
drive really fast. Grosse Pointe almost inspired me to buy a gun, but
it still fell way short of the other two flicks.
Karate is the only form of birth control for a Catholic.
Phyllis Diller
Keep a stiff upper chin.
Samuel Goldwyn
Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years Dave Barry
and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make
some of the worst movies in the history of the world.
Insinuation really makes it happen. And your opinion opened up my Folk Implosion
eyes. You kept me itching with a contradiction, that all we knew
was never memorized.
Information flows uphill and against the wind, to where it can do
the most damage.
Peter Evans
Inform all the troops that communications have completely broken
down.
Ashleigh Brilliant
Instant availability without continuous presence is probably the best Lotte Bailyn
role a mother can play.
In this town of chimpanzees I was a monkey.
Beck
In unix there are no morals, only determinism.
Faisal Jawdat
In these matters the only certainty is that nothing is certain.
Pliny the Elder
In Xanadu did Kublai Khan a pleasuredome erect.
Frankie Goes To
Hollywood
In years past, flipping someone off tended to earn you a mouthful of Suck
calcium chiclets. These days, you extend your middle finger and
someone immediately crowns it with a big, gaudy brass ring.
Infatuation, like the common cold, must run its course.
Eli J. Schleifer
Just what the world needs, more cynical world weary thirteen year
olds...
John Dobbin
Just take five minutes out of your day and rub somebody the right
way.
Rugburns
Just remember to remove the fingernails.
Adam Rifkin
Just throw away all that computerized shit listing all human data.
No one knows anything about human beings. You have to love the
people because they always lose.
Leslie Woolf Hedley
Just think of it--Cosmic Wimpout, the game of the Information
Highway.
David Sternlight
Just think of it, war breaks out and nobody turns up.
Frankie Goes to
Hollywood
Just like margarine our name is spreading.
Fairport Convention
Innovation is hard to schedule.
Dan Fylstra
Innocence, most often, is good fortune and not a virtue.
Anatole France
Information is the key to prosperity.
Brazil
Just shut up and get on with the killing.
Jon Slenk
In America only the successful writer is important, in France all
writers are important, in England no writer is important, in
Australia you have to explain what a writer is.
Geoffrey Cotterell
It is in these hills that Juan Valdez and his trusty goat gather coffee
beans every morning.
Butt-head
It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of
work to do.
Jerome K. Jerome
It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine
medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who
apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity.
Dave Barry
It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor
of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This
makes me forever ineligible for public office.
H.L. Mencken
It is impossible to defeat an ignorant man in an argument.
William Gibbs McAdoo
It is not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.
Phil White
It is necessary for man to have choice to be good or evil, even if he
chooses evil. To deprive him of this choice is to make him
something less than human... a clockwork orange.
Stanley Kubrick
It is necessary for me to establish a winner image. Therefore, I have Richard Nixon
to beat somebody.
It is impossible to make something foolproof, because fools are so
ingenious.
Edsel Murphy
It is incompetent, irrelevant, and immaterial... or something.
Butt-head
It is one of the commonest of mistakes to consider that the limit of
our power of perception is also the limit of all there is to perceive.
C.W. Leadbeater
It is one of the most beautiful compensations of this life that no man Ralph Waldo Emerson
can sincerely try to help another without helping himself.
It is one of the chief merits of proofs that they instill a certain
amount of skepticism as to the result proved.
Bertrand Russell
It is one of the superstitions of the human mind to have imagined
that virginity could be a virtue.
Voltaire
It is now proved beyond doubt that smoking is one of the leading
causes of statistics.
Fletcher Knebel
It is much safer to obey than to rule.
Thomas A. Kempis
It is rare that one can see in a little boy the promise of a man, but
one can almost always see in a little girl the threat of a woman.
Alexandre Dumas
it is only the strong who are capable of ripping off their own limbs.
Matt Messner
It is possible to commit no mistakes, and still lose. That is not
weakness, that is life.
Jean-Luc Picard
It is only when they go wrong that machines remind you how
powerful they are.
Clive James
It is regrettable for the education of the young that war stories are
always told by those who survived.
Louis Scutenaire
It is preferable to incur a mild punishment than to perform an
onerous task.
Roald Dahl
It just shows what the law of supply and demand can do when it
gets really, really out of whack.
WSJ on Netscape
It is well to remember that the entire population of the universe,
with one trifling exception, is composed of others.
John Andrew Holmes
It is much more secure to be feared than to be loved.
Niccolo Machiavelli
It is more complicated than you think.
Ross Callon
It is when you sit down and watch a show, and it just flashes by and Jeremy Beadle
then suddenly it is finished, and you have no questions. That is
quality television.
It is wise to keep in mind that neither success nor failure is ever
final.
Roger Babson
It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail.
Gore Vidal
It was such a lovely day I thought it a pity to get up.
William Somerset
Maugham
It was done by guys who were not afraid of long formulas, Gauss
and Laplace.
Joel Franklin
It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the
courtesy to thank her for it.
W.C. Fields
It was more like pounding my bloodied head against the corner of a Joe Kiniry
dirty, old red brick mantel of a fireplace while having an aneurysm,
an ulcer, a stroke, and a brain hemorrhage - all at once. I tell ya, I
have the scars to prove it.
It was too much work not to have a war.
Blackadder IV
It was one of those perfect English autumnal days which occur
more frequently in memory than in life.
P.D. James
It was pretty surprising for mom to be working in the yard and to
have a duck fly into her butt.
Megan Coughlin on the
perils of duck ownership
It was only after their population of fifty mysteriously shrank to
eight, that the other seven dwarfs began to suspect Hungry.
Mike Jittlov
It was not so long ago that people thought semiconductors were
part-time orchestra leaders and microchips were very, very small
snack foods.
Geraldine Ferraro
It puts the lotion on its skin.
Silence of the Lambs
It looks worse than it really is.
Jerry Maguire
It may slow your thesis a bit, but this sort of experience is always
good.
Mani Chandy
It must be human. No inanimate object could be that perverse.
DJ Byrne
It might be scary if my life were to become a farce from which
Steve Sisson
there were no escape, but not so scary as, say, a ten-foot spider with
big googly eyes and fangs.
It takes a nation of millions to hold us back.
Public Enemy
It was kind of boring for me to have to eat. I would know that I had
to, and I would.
Kate Moss
It must be spring backhoe planting season.
Sean Donelan
It needs no dictionary of quotations to remind me that the eyes are
the window of the soul.
Sir Max Beerbohm
It must be inordinately taxing to be such a boob. You have no idea.
The Brain and Pinky
It must be remembered that there is nothing more difficult to plan,
more doubtful of success, nor more dangerous to managment than
the creation of a new system. For the initiator has the enmity of all
who would profit by the preservation of the old institution and
merely lukewarm defenders in those who gain by the new ones.
Machiavelli
It was a strange Position to see yellow.
David Hume
It was a beautiful, almost poetic way to cap what had been a
textbook career of brilliant, original mathematical insights
punctuated with outbursts of random, deeply unhinged violence.
Olin Shivers
It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu Mark Twain
speech.
It turns out that elf cookies are pretty weak individually, but they
have a fudgy group consciousness and they attack in packs like
wolves.
Greg Plesur
It took us over a minute to get one of our programmers to click on
the bunny. He kept saying how cute it was.
John Dobbin
It just so happens that I have had PLENTY of great sex.
When Harry Met Sally
It is not length of life, but depth of life.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
It is not funny that a man should die, but it is funny that he should
be killed for so little, and the coin of his death should be what we
call civilization.
R. Chandler
It is not enough to have knowledge, one must also apply it. It is not
enough to have wishes, one must also accomplish.
Johann Wolfgang Von
Goethe
It is not possible to step in the same river twice.
Heraclitus
It is not only what we do, but also what we do not do, for which we Moliere
are accountable.
It takes zero politically correct assholes to screw in a lightbulb
because they are perpetually in the dark...
Dennis Miller
it takes more than simple sex to crash the routers at digex. ... it takes Shawn Ferry
FDDI bondage, and subnetting your partner.
It takes a village to raise a child.
African adage
It takes two to speak the truth - one to speak and another to hear.
Henry David Thoreau
It takes two to get one in trouble.
Mae West
It takes two people to play frisbee. Buy a boomerang.
Slacker
It takes a very unusual mind to undertake the obvious.
Alfred North Whitehead
It takes a wise man to recognize a wise man.
Xenophanes
It takes about the same amount of effort to write a good screenplay
as it takes to make a complete typeface family. Often, they are both
scripts, they both have characters, they both require a lot of editing,
and having the good idea is half the job.
Dave Siegel
It is possible to be below flattery as well as above it.
Thomas Babington
Macaulay
It is so easy to miss pretty trivial solutions to problems deemed
complicated. The goal of a scientist is to find an interesting
problem, and live off it for a while. The goal of an engineer is to
evade interesting problems.
Vadim Antonov
In the desert, you can do a lot more stuff without getting caught by
the cops.
Beavis and Butt-head
In the Connolly vernacular, making a pin-cushion is creatively
procrastinating. Like reading the FoRK faq.
Dan Connolly
In the kingdom of the blind the one eyed man is not king, he is
considered insane.
Richard Kinsey
in the kingdom of the blind, the one-eyed man is not allowed to be
the banker in Monopoly.
Andrew Stellman
In the confrontation between the stream and the rock, the stream
always wins. Not through strength, but by perseverance.
H. Jackson Brown
In the fight between you and the world, back the world.
Franz Kafka
In the land of the deaf, the one-eared man is king.
Tom Tromey
In the words of the Fonz... Correctomundo.
Josh Dubey
In the wildness is the preservation of the world.
Henry David Thoreau
In the long run, miscegenation is the only hope for the species.
David Gillett
In their early days they were like the young unicorn, wild and
uncommitted, which creature cannot be caught by the hunter, no
matter how skillful. Nay, but he can only be tamed of his own free
will.
from the apocryphal
writings of St. Macrina
In the world of words the imagination is one of the forces of nature. Wallace Stevens
In the time honored tradition of email, just ignore the question.
John Dobbin
In the U.S. Government, there is a lot more incompetence and a lot
less conspiracy than is generally believed.
a NASA spokesperson
In the same day, I read my book on lethal viruses, went to a
wedding, and saw this movie. Somehow, I managed to have EbolaTim-Susan-Contact dreams that night, which were quite bizarre
indeed.
Megan Coughlin
In choosing a friend, go up a step.
Jewish Proverb
In college I took special courses to overcome my disabillities, or so
I thought. However, my grades in know way reflected my I.Q or
what I thought I was capable of doing. I would get frustrated,
depressed as well as obsessed, because I could not fogure out what
was wrong with me.
from alt.attn-deficit
In communities where men build ships for their own sons to fish or
fight from, quality is never a problem.
J. Deville
In brief, she assumed that, being a man, I was vain to the point of
imbecility, and this assumption was correct, as it always is.
H.L. Mencken
In America everyone is intitled to an opinion. However you are not
entitled to a professional opinion.
Michael Padlipsky
In an information economy, the most valuable company assets drive Peter Chang
themselves home every night. If they are not treated well, they do
not return the next morning.
In America, you can always find a party. In Russia, the party always Yakov Smirnoff
finds you.
In America, you are ruled by an elected president, congress, and
senate. In Canada, we are ruled by a boy with supernatural powers.
Dave Foley
In America, the BEST people are put on pedestals so that lesser folk Tom Clancy
can take shots at them.
In my opinion, television validates existence.
Calvin
In the halls of justice, the only justice is in the halls.
Lenny Bruce
In course of life, will eat own weight in Slim Jims.
David Letterman
In charity there is no excess.
Francis Bacon
In case your aim is better than your judgment.
Last of the Mohicans
In calm water every ship has a good captain.
Swedish Proverb
In the long run, every program becomes rococo, and then rubble.
Alan Perlis
In the land of the witless, the halfwit is king.
R. Mitchell
In Saturday morning cartoons you get taught all these values.
Scooby snacks are all about bribery. Smurfs teach you safety in
numbers.
Slacker
In Rome, the emperor sat in a special part of the Coliseum called
the Caesarian Section.
George Carlin
In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of
people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
Douglas Adams
In such ugly times, the only true protest is beauty.
Phil Ochs
In that old Baudrillardian challenge, if one stages a bank robbery
and carries the performance all the way to the bank, fooling even
the teller and guards, one arguably has succeeded in redefining
oneself not as an actor, but as a bank robber.
www.suck.com
In the arcades, everyone was en route from the physical world to
J.C. Herz
cyberspace. Every videogame cabinet was a gate from one world to
the other.
In the beginning was the word. But by the time the second word
was added to it, there was trouble. For with it came syntax...
John Simon
In situations where there are multiple players with different
agendas, there is nothing worse than failure as a result of deliberate
inaction - and there is nothing better than success as a result of
deliberate inaction.
Scott Berkun
It is the triumph of reason to get on with those that have none.
Voltaire
It is the greatest of all mistakes to do nothing because you can only
do a little. Do what you can.
Sydney Smith
It is tempting to deny the existence of evil, since denying it obviates Alexis Carrel
the need to fight it.
It is the quality rather than the quantity that matters.
Lucius Annaeus Seneca
It is the most radical empire to all that which is radical.
Butt-head
It is the mind that makes the body.
Sojourner Truth
It is the business of little minds to shrink.
Carl Sandburg
It is the customary fate of new truths to begin as heresies and to end T.H. Huxley
as superstitions.
It is the business of the future to be dangerous.
Hawkwind
In the absence of glamour we are nothing.
Luke Vahle
In the Norse mythology Loki originally was on the side of the rest
of the gods, helping them once or twice using a particularly nast
forms of trickery. He was a cunning negotiator with a talent for
technicalities. He was sort of the Norse equivalent of a lawyer, no
doubt the reason they tied him down in a pit dripping acidic venom
on him.
Martin Terman
In questions of science the authority of a thousand is not worth the
humble reasoning of a single individual.
Galileo Galilei
In order to see birds its is necessary to become a part of the silence.
Robert Lynd
In order to solve this differential equation you look at it until a
solution occurs to you.
George Polya
In order to live free and happy, you must sacrifice boredom. It is not Richard Bach
always an easy sacrifice.
In preparing for battle I have always found that plans are useless,
but planning is indispensable.
Dwight Eisenhower
Losers live in the past. Winners learn from the past and enjoy
working in the present toward the future.
Denis Waitley
Love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke.
Lynda Barry
Lord, what fools these mortals be
Robin Goodfellow
Love all, trust a few. Do wrong to none.
William Shakespeare
Lousy sex is nothing compared to a good base Ogg.
Mojo Riser
Lorena Bobbitt has been charged with malicious wounding and one Kevin Nealon
count of littering.
Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it
flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.
Matt Groening
Love cures people. Both the ones who give it and the ones who
receive it.
Karl Henninger
Oh well. Such is wife.
John Dobbin
Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking
outward in the same direction.
Antoine De Saint-Exupery
Love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking
outward together in the same direction.
Antoine de Saint-Exupery
Love is a paradox. He loves me, he loves me not.
Anne Clark
Love is a power too strong to be overcome by anything but flight.
Cervantes
My father is Palestinian which explains my violent tendencies and
my mom is Irish which explains my violent tendencies as well.
Nadiya El-Khatib
Loving humility is marvellously strong, the strongest of all things.
There is nothing else like it.
Fyodor Dostoyevsky
Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a
human soul.
Mark Twain
Luck is the residue of design.
Branch Rickey
Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.
Robert Frost
Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
H. L. Mencken
Love letters are the campaign promises of the heart.
Robert Friedman
Love your neighbor as yourself, but choose your neighborhood
wisely.
Louise Beal
Love is what I got. Remember that.
Sublime
Love is like a snowmobile flying over the frozen tundra that
suddenly flips, pinning you underneath. At night the ice weasles
come.
Matt Groening
Louie, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
Casablanca
Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny.
Ken Hubbard
Love... is the extremely difficult realization that something other
than oneself is real.
I Murdoch
Love, respect, community, and the dollars too. The whole package.
Quong.
Jerry Maguire
Lovely girls are terribly insecure. They are convinced that their legs Richard J. Needham
are too thick, and their bottoms are too big, and their bosoms are too
small. They are conviced that their nose is the wrong shape, that
their ears stick out, and that their eyes are too close together. They
need a man who will tell them they are exactly right as they are.
They do not believe him, but they need to hear it said.
Of course, success invites arbitrage, and on the Internet, that means
someone is selling what you sell for cheaper.
J. William Gurley
Of course, one could argue that revenue is not the proper metric for
measuring the success of a company with a potentially negative
gross margin.
J. William Gurley
Of the delights of this world, man cares most for sexual intercourse, Mark Twain
yet he has left it out of his heaven.
Off with the horns, on with the show.
Bono
Offense and pleasure are not mutually exclusive.
John Dobbin
Of those to whom much is given, much is required.
John F. Kennedy
Oh man, Gabby and Fairuza. My dick will be thrilled.
John Dobbin
Oh Lord, stop me from being catty, but not yet.
Florence King
Oh - the Promise Keepers are forbidden from beating anybody ...
but their wives.
Steve Ledebur
Oh FUCK the longings and agonies of youth.
John Irving
Of shoes and ships and sealing wax, of cabbages and kings. Of why Lewis Carroll
the sea is boiling hot and whether pigs have wings.
Of government, at least in democratic states, it may be said briefly
that it is an agency engaged wholesale, and as a matter of solemn
duty, in the performance of acts which all self-respecting
individuals refrain from as a matter of common decency.
H.L. Mencken
Oh how i love being tragic. Oh how i love outright lies.
Michelle Hall
Oh good, drunk people with metal sticks. How festive.
John Dobbin
Oh stop it. This is beneath even you.
Clerks
Oh Really
Lucy
Oh, better add Forrest Gump, too.
things that left Megan
Coughlin quite bitter
Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a
mask, and he will tell you the truth.
Oscar Wilde
Man is only man at the surface. Remove his skin, dissect, and
immediately you come to machinery.
Paul Valery
Man kills for food. Sometimes for beverage.
Woody Allen
Man makes the money, money never makes the man.
LL Cool J
Man is only truly great when he acts from the passions.
Benjamin Disraeli
Man is the only animal that blushes, or needs to.
Mark Twain
Man is the measure of all things.
Protagoras
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the
only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
Wernher von Braun
Man...a creature made at the end of the work week when God was
tired.
Mark Twain
Mankind is poised midway between the gods and the beasts.
Plotinus
Mankind is still the most extraordinary computer of all.
John F. Kennedy
Mankind... grows beyond its work, walks up the stairs of its
John Steinbeck
concepts, emerges ahead of its accomplishments.
Many hands make light work.
John Heywood
Many a man fails to become a thinker only because his memory is
too good.
Nietzsche
Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife
to his success.
Jim Backus
Many candles can be kindled from one candle without diminishing
it.
the Midrash
Many are saved from sin by being so inept at it.
Mignon McLaughlin
Many receive advice, only the wise profit from it.
Syrus
Many things are worth dying for, but none worth killing for.
Albert Camus
Many people have played themselves to death. Many people have
eaten and drunk themselves to death. Nobody ever thought himself
to death.
Gilbert Highet
Many of the biggest, most exciting things in your life will happen
because you made a bold and irrational decision.
Patrick Combs
Maris and I have taken to giving each other gag gifts. I gave her a
cookbook.
Frasier
marilyn manson action figures, now with controlable satanism.
Steve Archer
Many of us spend our lives searching for success when it is usually
so close that we can reach out and touch it.
Russell H. conwell
Many years ago in a period commonly know as Next Friday
Walt Kelly
Afternoon, there lived a King who was very Gloomy on Tuesday
mornings because he was so Sad thinking about how Unhappy he
had been on Monday and how completely Mournful he would be on
Wednesday ...
Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you
lose interest.
Irwin Corey
Marriage is a three-ring circus. Engagement ring. Wedding ring.
Pleasuring.
Adam Rifkin
Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of the time
he will pick himself up and continue.
Winston Churchill
Man who has tool in box is not necessarily carpenter.
Confucius
Marriage is a good way to spend the winter.
Trouble with Harry
Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly.
Voltaire
Marriage is not merely sharing the fettucine, but sharing the burden Calvin Trillin
of finding the fettucine restaurant in the first place.
Marketing is the creation of long-term demand, while sales is the
execution of marketing strategies. Marketing is buying the land,
choosing what crop to grow, planting the crop, fertilizing it, and
Robert X. Cringely
then deciding when to harvest. Sales is harvesting the crop.
Look famous... be legendary... appear complex... act easy... radiate
presence... travel light... seem a dream... prove real.
Brenda Janish
Look forward to the day when NRA stands for No Longer Relevant. Dennis Miller
Live your life, do your work, then take your hat.
Henry David Thoreau
Lives based on having are less free than lives based either on doing
or on being.
William James
Live forever. We could start a band.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Little Red Riding Hood
Scum Killer
Little secrets, tremors turned to quake. The smallest oceans still get
big, big waves.
Pearl Jam
Live long and multi-task.
Mike Smithwick
Live the imagination. Lick the reality.
Andrew Plotkin
Live together like brothers and do business like strangers.
Arab Proverb
Little things affect little minds.
Benjamin Disraeli
Lord, grant that I may always desire more than I can accomplish.
Michelangelo
Logging into vaxen is good for you. It teaches patience.
William Bardwell
Love of bustle is not industry.
Lucius Annaeus Seneca
Love with extreme lucidity and barbaric ferocity.
Mark Leyner
Logic and cold reason are poor weapons to fight fear and distrust.
Only faith and generosity can overcome them.
Jawaharlal Nehru
lo, i am lame
Rob Earhart
Live every day like your hair was on fire.
Michael Jackson
Logic is the art of going wrong with confidence.
Joseph Wood Krutch
Lock up your libraries if you like, but there is no gate, no lock, no
bolt that you can set upon the freedom of my mind.
Virginia Woolf
Look at Jewish history. Unrelieved lamenting would be intolerable.
So, for every ten Jews beating their breasts, God designated one to
be crazy and amuse the breast-beaters. By the time I was five I
knew I was that one.
Mel Brooks
Look - we have just landed upon the outpost of death. My soul is
puking.
Charles Bukowski
Look at the Warren Commission. A Shriner Convention without go Slacker
carts.
Look at all the Indians
General Custer
Look both ways before crossing the streams.
Kendall Bullen
Look before you leap.
Samuel Butler
Look where all this talking got us, baby.
Live
Look around you, all you see is sympathetic eyes.
Simon and Garfunkel
Look, you granola-munching earth-shoe-wearing liberal FREAK, it Marc Unangst
has everything to do with California.
Lord, deliver me from the man who never makes a mistake, and
also the man who makes the same mistake twice.
Dr. William J. Mayo
Looks like I picked the wrong week to give up sniffing glue.
Airplane
Looks like the guy in my prison-rape fantasy.
Marilyn Manson
Lord, deliver us from these fruitloops, for they neither snap nor
crackle nor pop.
Esther Filderman
Loose talk is noose talk.
Brazil
Oh brother. What blather. Look out when someone uses the word
leverage.
John C. Dvorak
Now. Or never.
Henry David Thoreau
Nuclear war may not be desirable.
Edwin Meese III
Nuke the unborn baby gay whales for Christ.
Bumper sticker
Now, suddenly, dynamic HTML makes the Web as interactive as
my old Apple IIc.
Peter Merholz
Now, when I want to eat a cookie, I just eat a cookie.
Seinfeld on being an adult
Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.
Robert F. Kennedy
Only the free have disposition to be truthful. Only the truthful have W. H. Auden
the interest to be just. Only the just possess the willpower to be free.
Only the winners decide what were war crimes.
Gary Willis
Only the young die good.
Oliver Herford
Obedience to the law is freedom.
sign above entrance to U.S.
Penal establishment
Nuclear war would really set back cable.
Ted Turner
Obviously this person studied at the Adam Rifkin school of film
criticism.
John Dobbin
Obviously someone read their tea leaves wrong.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Of all the animals, the boy is the most unmanageable.
Plato
Obscenity is such a tiny kingdom that a single tour covers it
completely.
Heywood Broun
Obsession to the point of ridiculous merits ridicule.
Adam Rifkin
Of all the countless folk who have lived before our time on this
planet not one is known in history or legend as having died of
laughter.
Sir Max Beerbohm
Objects are just data stuctures with an attitude.
Alex Morrow
Obligatory comment on you then right back to talking about me...
John Dobbin
Of course it has civilian applications. You might wanna kill your
friends, someday.
Jim Zelenka
Only he who attempts the ridiculous can achieve the impossible.
Hao Shan Liao
only in our easy, simple, spontaneous action are we strong.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Only geniuses and idiots are mentally self-sufficient.
Stanislaw Lem
Only God, or possibly Jeff Hutzleman, knows that.
Paul Mazaitis
Only God can make a tree, but only Man can drive by it so fast.
Ferrari Driver.
Only a vaRool would use such language in public.
Riker
One time the power went out in my house and I had to use the flash Steven Wright
on my camera to see my way around. I made a sandwich and took
fifty pictures of my face. The neighbors thought there was lightning
in my house.
One thought he was invisible, and the other thought he could fly.
They were both wrong.
Marked for Death
Only a funeral could induce me to return there.
Barton
Our love for God is tested by whether we seek Him or His gifts.
Ralph Sockman
Our little group has always been, and always will, until the end.
Nirvana
Our keyword list read like the buzzwords on the back of a netscape
server box.
Joe Kiniry
One thing that gets me down is when people put bandanas on their
dogs.
Kids in the Hall
Open-minded people look at the world around them and try to find M. Elizabeth Hunter
the lessons there that apply to their own lives, while narrow-minded
people look at the lessons their own life has brought them and try to
apply these to the world at large.
Open your eyes and you can see the flames of your wasted life.
Counting Crows
Only when the clock stops does time come to life.
William Faulkner
Only one man would dare give me the Raspberry.
Spaceballs
Only one man understands me, and even he does not.
Hegel
Oooo, that was a quick.
Cindy Parker
One who finds no satifaction in himself seeks for it in vain
elsewhere.
La Rochefoucauld
One with the law is a majority.
Calvin Coolidge
One will rarely err if extreme actions be ascribed to vanity, ordinary Friedrich Nietzsche
actions to habit, and mean actions to fear.
Only in your dreams, Commander.
Troi
Ooh, you called me a goose. Yeah, you can more than deal with me, Steve Bajzek
I have to admit. That one hurts even more than when you called me
a virual buffoon.
Oog make mission statement.
Steve Dorner
Of all animals, the boy is most unmanageable.
Plato
Of all possible committee reactions to any given agenda item, the
reaction that will occur is the one which will liberate the greatest
amount of hot air.
Thomas L. Martin
ok, so proof by lack of counterexample is invalid. i can prove it by
mathematical induction, though, if you accept the law of
conservation of bitterness.
Geoff Spear
ok, you have to understand that there is indeed a reason why i didnt May Jawdat
call you yesterday. the reason is that i am a rotten horrible terrible
person and a bad sister. i will call you tonight.
Ok, wait a moment here. Hold on. There. Now you see the change
was made in real time.
Frame showperson
Old age and guile will always triumph over youth and enthusiasm.
Mack Rhinelander
Okay. HATING this.
Friends
Now I have to decide if I want to battle evil or perpetrate it....
Greg Plesur
Nothing will dispel enthusiasm like a large admission fee.
Kim Hubbard
Nothing was happening when all of a sudden, still nothing was
happening.
Douglas Adams
Now go away so we can talk about you.
Friends
Now come, before I color the wall with sort-of-brain.
Blackadder IV
Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time.
Monty Python
Now blah blah blah is all I do.
Heathers
Now and then there is a person born who is so unlucky that he runs
into accidents which started out to happen to somebody else.
Don Marquis
Okay, in the pursuit of honesty and because of the respect in which
I hold you people I should probably admit that I intend to savor
your deaths as I would the gentlest sips of fine wine. Sorry about
the initial confusion.
Greg Plesur
Old age is not so bad when you consider the alternatives.
Maurice Chevalier
Oh credit to dementia.
Megadeth
Old age is the most unexpected of things that can happen to a man.
Trotsky
Old gnus. Eye remember ewe.
Adam Rifkin
Okay, squouija me, then.
Adam Rifkin
Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to
deceive.
Sir Walter Scott
Novocaine for the soul. You better give me something to fill the
hole before I sputter out.
Eels
Nothing recedes like success.
Walter Winchell
Nothing suceeds in which high spirits play no part. Only excess of
strength is proof of strength.
Friedrich Nietzsche
Nothing revives the past so completely as a smell.
Vladimir Nobokov
Nothing so fortifies a friendship as a belief on the part of one friend Balzac
that he is superior to the other.
Nothing is illegal if one hundred businessmen decide to do it.
Andrew Young
Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something J.M. Barrie
else.
Nothing is quite so out of step with reality as the idea that the rich
are working less because they are making too little money and the
poor are working less because they are making too much.
John Kenneth Galbraith
Nothing is as inevitable as a mistake whose time has come.
Tussman
Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge.
Dogbert
Nothing risque, nothing gained.
Alexander Woollcott
Nothing makes one so vain as being told that one is a sinner.
Conscience makes egotists of us all.
Oscar Wilde
Occam got a Razor. Newton got some Laws. Heisenberg got an
Ron Resnick
Uncertainty Principle. Judge Stearns got a Decision. LaMacchia got
an Exemption. And all I got was this lousy tee-shirt.
Now you can write your thesis on Gameboy if you know how to
bull.
PCU
Nothing is worse than procrastination. When I look at ten decisions, Percy Barnevik
I regret there will be nine of them where I delayed. Better roughly
and quickly than carefully and slowly.
Of all noises, I think music is the least pleasant.
Samuel Johnson
Nothing is worse than majority. It consists of a few leaders, some
rogues who adapt, the weak who assimilates, and the great masses
who follow far behind, knowing not what they want.
Johann Wolfgang von
Goethe
Nothing is so useless as a general maxim.
Thomas Macaulay
Nothing is too wonderful to be true.
Michael Faraday
Nothing is wasted which makes a memory.
Ned Rorem
Nothing is so dangerous as being too modern. One is apt to grow
old fashioned quite suddenly.
Oscar Wilde
Nothing is so permanent as a temporary government program.
Milton Friedman
Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But
it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning.
Winston Churchill
Nous aimons nos sinthomes plus de nous nous aimons.
Jacques Lacan
Now this is a totally brain damaged algorithm. Gag me with a
smurfette.
P. Buhr
Now the actual correct mathematical solution to this differential
Ron Myers
equation is insane, so physicists use a special trick which is that you
guess.
Now if only someone would go ahead and make these for every
NBA player. I think it would be riotously fun to throw Michael
Jordan up against the wall and dent his mucking head.
John Dobbin
Now it may be a sad reflection on the way young people feel, but
early Monday morning is losing its appeal.
Housemartins
Nothing is more dangerous than a one-liner file, when a man has
only one one-liner.
Adam Rifkin
Nothing is more terrifying than ignorance in action.
Johann Wolfgang von
Goethe
Nothing is particularly hard if you divide it into small jobs.
Henry Ford
Nothing is intrinsically good or evil, but its manner of usage may
make it so.
St. Thomas Aquinas
Now is the time for all good men to come to.
Walt Kelly
Now if we can just keep it from exploding.
Real Genius
Modesty is such a lonely word, everyone is in the nude.
John Dobbin
Mine is the last voice that you will ever hear. Do not be alarmed.
Frankie Goes To
Hollywood
Morality is not defined by individual choice.
Rush Limbaugh
Morality is simply the attitude we adopt towards people we
personally dislike.
Oscar Wilde
Morality is not really the doctrine of how to make ourselves happy,
but of how we are to be worthy of happiness.
Immanuel Kant
Mirror mirror on the coast cook some bread and make me toast.
John Dobbin
Miracles sometimes occur, but one has to work terribly hard for
them.
Chaim Weizmann
Morning is a concept I only approach from the night before.
Harry Chapin
More than any time in history, mankind now faces a crossroads.
Woody Allen
One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other to total
extinction. Let us pray that we have the wisdom to choose correctly.
Morning is not my day.
Thanh Boyer
More trouble is caused in this world by indiscreet answers than by
Sydney J. Harris
indiscreet questions.
More men should feel obligated to apologize to me after trying to
pick me up.
Megan Coughlin
Moral excellence comes about as a result of habit. We become just
by doing just acts, temperate by doing temperate acts, brave by
doing brave acts.
Aristotle
Mortality is a cheap price to pay for existence.
Bob Geldof
More people rust out than wear out.
H. Jackson Brown
Milk does the body GOOD.
Encino Man
ML attempts to enforce good programming with the functional
model. I think it enforces good programming by preventing the
development of large projects in ML.
Robert Rodgers
MIT... looks like how Caltech would be if it was bigger and had no
honor code.
Greg Davis
Mixed emotions, pal. Like seeing Larry Wildmon going off a cliff
in my new Maserati.
Wall Street
Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.
Oscar Wilde
Modern art is what happens when painters stop looking at girls and
persuade themselves that they have a better idea.
John Ciardi
Miss Manners is not quite so naive as to believe that love produces Miss Manners
any agreement of views after that first rapturous discovery that both
people like movies and the outdoors.
Mockery requires self-awareness.
Rohit Khare
Modern man thinks he loses something - time - when he does not do Erich Fromm
things quickly. Yet he does not know what to do with the time he
gains... except kill it.
Modern man is the missing link between apes and human beings.
Stanislaw Lec
Mmm. Meetings. Only seppuku could be this much fun.
John Prevost
Minds are like parachutes - they only function when open.
Thomas Dewar
Might does not make right but it sure makes what is.
Edward Abbey
Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with
themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
Susan Ertz
mmmMmm, cat herding
Aleecia McDonald
Mmmmm... reprocessed pig fat...
Homer Simpson
Misery acquaints a man with strange bedfellows.
William Shakespeare
Mmmm... strawberry. Mmmm... apple. Mmmm... purple.
Homer Simpson eating
donuts
Life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans. John Lennon
Life is so constructed that the event does not, cannot, will not match Charlotte Bronte
the expectation.
Life is really just a game, but there is some assembly required.
Tom Wilson
Life is pretty stupid, with a lot of hubbub to keep you busy, but not
really amounting to much.
LA Story
Life is thick sown with thorns, and I know no other remedy than to
pass quickly through. The longer we dwell on our misfortunes, the
greater is their power to harm us.
Voltaire
Life is too important to take seriously.
Corky Siegel
Life is like a cash register, in that every account, every thought,
every deed, like every sale, is registered and recorded.
Fulton J. Sheen
Life is like a bad margarita with good tequila, I thought as I poured
whiskey onto my granola and faced a new day.
Peter Applebome
Life is pain, highness. Anyone who tells you otherwise is trying to
sell you something.
The Princess Bride
Life is playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as Samuel Butler
one goes on.
Life is too short to be taken seriously.
Oscar Wilde
Life is too short for arguments. Every nanosecond a person spends
disagreeing or disrespecting or hating or chiding, is one less
nanosecond a person has for finer things.
Adam Rifkin
Life is a game. Money is how we keep score.
Ted Turner
Life has taught me to think, but thinking has not taught me to live.
Alexander Herzen
Life has a funny way of biting you when your pants are down.
Michael Molloy
Life is a series of little deaths out of which life always returns.
Charles Feidelson, Jr.
Life is the continuous adjustment of internal relations to external
relations.
Herbert Spencer
Life is the childhood of our immortality.
Johann Wolfgang von
Goethe
Life is a joke, and death is the ultimate punch line. Welcome to hell. Trevor Schadt
Life is a quarry, out of which we are to mold and chisel and
complete a character.
Johann Wolfgang von
Goethe
Life is a great sunrise. I do not see why death should not be an even Vladimir Nobokov
greater one.
Money often costs too much.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Monkey good. Sphincter bad.
Roberto Herrera
Mongo merely pawn in game of life.
Blazing Saddles
Money, not morality, is the principle commerce of civilized nations. Thomas Jefferson
Money is far more persuasive than logical arguments.
Euripides
Life is like a ten-speed bike. Most of us have gears we never use.
Charles M. Schulz
Life is not a spectator sport. Just do it.
Nike
Life is like a sewer... What you get out of it depends on what you
put into it.
Tom Lehrer
Money is the root of all evil, and yet it is such a useful root that we
cannot get on without it any more than we can without potatoes.
Louisa May Alcott
Money is the sinews of love, as of war.
George Farquhar
Money is the seed of money, and the first guinea is sometimes more Jean Jacques Rousseau
difficult to acquire than the second million.
Missed it by that much
Maxwell Smart
Most women do not want to be liberated from their essential natures Vice President Dan Quayle
as women.
Most rock journalism is people who can not write interviewing
people who can not talk.
Frank Zappa
Most projects start out slowly
and then sort of taper off.
Most women have no characters at all.
Alexander Pope
Most so-called moral dilemmas simply dissolve when one gathers
all the knowledge that is actually available. We waste an immense
amount of precious energy trying to make decisions before we
really have to or are able to. Once we see something clearly, the
question of morality more or less takes care of itself. Authentic
morality is the child of understanding.
Jacob Needleman
Mostly dead is very different from all dead. All dead, nothing you
can do but go through the pockets looking for loose change.
The Princess Bride
Mother Theresa gets laid more than you and I.
John Dobbin
Mother Teresa is a nice lady because it makes her feel good. I light Mark Denovich
things on fire for the same reason. The relative merit of either action
can be argued, but the base motivation is exactly the same.
Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would
like it to keep in touch.
Robert Orben
Most people who are rich chose their parents wisely.
Philip Greenspun
Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just George Carlin
enough not to quit.
Most think grammar is the person who owns the house to which we Adam Rifkin
go over the river and through the woods.
My country right or wrong is like saying, My mother drunk or
sober.
G.K. Chesterton
My book recommends a twirling wedgie for people who ask for too Dogbert
much.
My boyfriend thinks I lost my true calling to be a librarian.
Paulina Porizkova
My computer has a hard drive, and my disk is always floppy.
Rugburns
Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.
Abe Lincoln
Most of us, when all is said and done, like what we like and make
up reasons for it afterwards.
Soren Peterson
Most of the truly meaningful things that happen in a classroom are
only tangentially related to the subject matter being taught.
Dallin Malmgren
Most of the world is carpeted, and one day we will do the cleaning.
Seinfeld
Mothers are the necessity of invention.
Calvin
Most of us ask for advice when we know the answer but we want a
different one.
Ivern Ball
Most good women are hidden treasures who are only safe because
nobody looks for them.
Dorothy Parker
Most men do not mature, they simply grow taller.
Leo Rosten
Most men say they can short out the toilet seat-up alarm with an
errant stream of urine.
Dennis Miller
Most men pursue pleasure with such breathless haste that they hurry Soren Kierkegaard
past it.
MOTHER IN LAW is an anagram for WOMAN HITLER.
Adrian Plass
Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of children.
The Crow
Most of my life is designed around protecting certain illusions.
Shattering them now seems foolish.
John Dobbin
Most general statements are false, including this one.
Alexander Dumas
Most men employ the first part of their life, to make the rest
miserable.
de La Bruyere
Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.
Abe Lincoln
Most men lead lives of quiet desperation.
Henry David Thoreau
My body has certainly wandered a good deal, but I have an uneasy
suspicion that my mind has not wandered enough.
Noel Coward
My advice to you is to start drinking heavily.
Animal House
My bathroom went to art school, now I piss in a collage.
Rugburns
My bills always die in subcommittee.
Calvin
Music is the best means we have of digesting time.
W.H. Auden
Music is the universal language of mankind.
H.W. Longfellow
Music washes away from the soul the dust of every day life.
Berthold Auerbach
Mistakes are the price we pay for a full life.
Sophia Loren
Misfortune shows those who are not friends.
Aristotle
Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it.
Russell Baker
Mistakes are part of the dues one pays for a full life.
Sophia Loren
Must...defy...laws...of...physics...
The Tick
Mister Worf, show these children the airlock.
Picard
Mistletoe can be deadly if you eat it, but a kiss can be even deadlier Batman Returns
if you mean it.
My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his
wallet.
Rodney Dangerfield
My experience tells me that, instead of bothering about how the
Mahatma Gandhi
whole world may live in the right manner, we should think how we
ourselves may do so. We do not even know whether the world lives
in the right manner or in a wrong manner. If, however, we live in
the right manner, we shall feel that others also do the same, or shall
discover a way of persuading them to do so.
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless
there are three other people.
Orson Welles
My dreams are getting way too literal.
Calvin
My entire life is crammed into printer-paper boxes and stacked up
against the bedroom wall.
Ari Rapkin
My brothers they never went blind for what they did, but I may as
well have.
Alanis Morissette
My brothers and sisters all hated me because I was an only child.
Weird Al Yankovic
My boys need to breathe.
Seinfeld
My brain is my second favorite organ.
Woody Allen
Music causes us to think eloquently.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Music is my mistress and she plays second fiddle to no one.
Duke Ellington
Music is a higher revelation than philosophy.
Ludwig von Beethoven
My definition of a free society is a society where it is safe to be
unpopular.
Adlai E. Stevenson
My definition of smart means being able to deal honestly with
Robert X. Cringely
people yet somehow avoid the twin perils of either pissing them off
or of committing myself to a lifetime of indentured servitude trying
too hard to be nice.
Life goes slower when you graze.
Northern Exposure
Liberty is the right to do what the law permits.
Montesquieu
Liberty is the only thing you cannot have unless you are willing to
give it to others.
Libertarian Motto
Life can be only understood backwards, but it must be lived
forwards.
Soren Kierkegaard
Liberty must be limited in order to be possessed.
Edmund Burke
Liberty is food easy to eat but hard to digest.
Jean-Jacques Rousseau
Liberty is always dangerous, but it is the safest thing we have.
Harry Emerson Fosdick
Liberals measure compassion by how many people are given
welfare. Conservatives measure compassion by how many people
no longer need it.
Rush Limbaugh
Life consists of what man is thinking of all day.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Life begets life. Energy creates energy. It is by spending oneself
that one becomes rich.
Sarah Bernhardt
Life all comes down to a few moments. This is one of them.
Wall Street
Life affords no higher pleasure than that of surmounting difficulties, Dr. Samuel Johnson
passing from one step of success to another, forming new wishes
and seeing them gratified.
Lies and betrayals, fruit covered nails, electricity and lust...
Pavement
Life being what it is, one dreams of revenge.
Gauguin
Life begins when you get a job.
Ronald Reagan
Liberals attempt through judicial activism what they cannot win at
the ballot box.
Rush Limbaugh
Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far
away.
Henry David Thoreau
Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be Mark Twain
sorry.
Leave the beaten track occasionally and dive into the woods. You
will be certain to find something you have never seen before.
Alexander Graham Bell
Learn to pray correctly, scientifically. Employ tested and proven
methods. Avoid slipshod praying.
Norman Vincent Peale
Let your conscience be your guide.
Pope
Let us not go faster than God. It is our emptiness and our thirst that
he needs, not our plentitude.
Jaques Maritian
Let us love temperately, things violent last not.
Philip Massinger
Let us never negotiate out of fear but let us never fear to negotiate.
John F. Kennedy
Let your mind go and your body will follow.
LA Story
Learning is discovering that something is possible.
Fritz Perls
Lemme esplain - no dere is not time. Lemme sum up.
The Princess Bride
Legos, Playdoh, and Crayolas should be part of EVERY household. Ari Rapkin
Lemme tellya about flannel. It gets me hot.
Mr. Mom
Liars when they speak the truth are not believed
Aristotle
Let everyone sweep in front of his own door, and the whole world
will be clean.
Johann Wolfgang von
Goethe
Let every day be a building block for your castle of dreams.
Kathryn Major
Learning is finding out what you already know. Doing is
demonstrating that you know it. Teaching is reminding others that
they know it just as well as you. You are all learners, doers, and
teachers.
Richard Bach
Learning is its own exceeding great reward.
William Hazlitt
Let him not quit his belief that a popgun is a popgun, though the
Ralph Waldo Emerson
ancient and honorable of the earth affirm it to be the crack of doom.
Let each man exercise the art he knows.
Aristophanes
Levity is the soul of wit.
Eli Perkins
Machines should work. People should think.
Richard Hamming
Machines that say please make me nervous.
Golden Years
Lyrics are the deep thoughts of our generation.
Adam Rifkin
Luke... Luke... Use the MOUSE, Luke...
Obi Wan Gates
Lump lingered, last in line for brains, and the one she got was sort
of rotten and insane.
Presidents of the USA
Lugubrious is to hubris as cantankerous is to...
Paolo Sivilotti
Mammories, as a pair in the moonlight...
Judy Rosman
Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause. With
female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. Male
menopause, you get to date young girls and drive motorcycles.
Rita Rudner
Mallomars look like breasts, whereas pinwheels have pleats.
Adam Rifkin
MacDonald has the gift on compressing the largest amount of
words into the smallest amount of thoughts.
Winston Churchill
Major funding for The Great Depression was provided by the
Corporation for Public Broadcasting.
heard on PBS
Lump slipped on a kiss, and tumbled into love.
Presidents of the USA
Madonna is the true feminist. She exposes the puritanism and
Camille Paglia
suffocating ideology of American feminism, which is stuck in an
adolescent whining mode. Madonna has taught young women to be
fully female and sexual while still exercising control over their
lives.
Made exclusively for the best blobs of protoplasm ever assembled
into primates.
bOING bOING BLAST
Man is free at the moment he wishes to be.
Voltaire
Man is by nature a political animal.
Aristotle
Macintosh, so easy even Americans can use them.
Swedish ad
Luxury is a necessity that begins where necessity ends.
Coco Channel
Magic Johnson threatened to spit in their Gatorade if they lost.
John Dobbin
Make up your melons.
Encino Man
Make it so.
Picard
Make me one with everything on it.
Zen master to hot dog
vendor
Make a little birdhouse in your soul.
They Might Be Giants
Make a note of the word gobbledy gook. I like it. I want to use it
more in conversation.
Blackadder IV
Make a hole with a gun perpendicular.
They Might Be Giants
Literature is the question minus the answer.
Roland Barthes
Make that three canings. And a flogging with a sock filled with
manure.
Adam Rifkin
Man first learned to walk upright so he could free his hands for
masturbation.
Lily Tomlin
Man and woman are two locked caskets, of which each contains the Isak Dinesen
key to the other.
Man is a rational animal who always loses his temper when he is
called upon to act in accordance with the dictates of reason.
Oscar Wilde
Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
Lily Tomlin
Make your bargain before beginning to plow.
Arab Proverb
Makes me want to stick my fist through your face.
Filter
Make up your mind, decide to walk with me around the lake tonight Toadies
by my side...
Man is a temporary infestation on a minor planet in an insignificant Douglas Adams
system located in an average galaxy.
Man is born to live, not to prepare to live.
Boris Pasternak
Man cannot live by words alone, though he is sometimes forced to
eat them.
Adlai E. Stevenson
Man by nature wants to know.
Aristotle
Man cannot discover new oceans until he has courage to lose sight
of the shore.
Chinese Proverb
Man is an exception, whatever else he is. If it is not true that a
G.K. Chesterton
divine being fell, then we can only say that one of the animals went
entirely off its head.
Like many things in life, you can do exactly what you were going to Steve Jobs
do in the first place and change the names.
Lincoln had a brighter future when he picked up his tickets at the
box office.
Frasier
Listen to the kidneys. They are smarter than you are.
James Cook
Like a ski resort full of girls looking for husbands and husbands
looking for girls, the situation is not as symmetric as it might seem.
Marc Unangst
like being quotefiled by faisal is any sort of accomplishment
Adam Rixey
Like excrement, it contains enough undigested nuggets of nutrition
to sustain life for some.
Dennis Ritchie
Lisa Marie refused to take the four-year intensive NASA training
program that would teach her to moonwalk.
David Letterman
Line up alphabetically by height.
Casey Stengel
Lips that taste of tears, they say are the best for kissing.
Dorothy Parker
Like a goose, I just pass it on...
Adam Rifkin
Linear layout, with scrolling, supports visual contiguity, which is
essential for rapid comprehensibility.
Michael Hoffman
Listen, if anything happens to Yoko and me, it was not an accident.
John Lennon
Lisp has all the visual appeal of oatmeal with fingernail clippings
mixed in.
Larry Wall
like diapers, politicians should be changed regularly. for the same
reasons.
Andrew Stellman
life is cool, netscape blows
Rob Earhart
Life is complex. It has real and imaginary parts.
Rich Rosen
Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering, and it is all over
much too quickly.
Woody Allen
Life is full of surprises, but never when you need one.
Calvin and Hobbes
Life is full of decisions, but you never get to make any.
Linus van Pelt
Life is fired at us point-blank.
Jose Ortega
Life is a do-it-yourself kit.
Phyllis Diller
Life is a game of bridge
and you have just been
finessed.
Life is a dead-end street.
H.L. Mencken
Life is a tragedy for those who feel, and a comedy for those who
think.
Jean de La Bruyhre
Like Russian Roulette with six bullets loaded.
Unix-Haters Handbook
Like warm silly putty...
John Dobbin
Likely early candidates are The Ruthless People Soundtrack, The
Falcon and The Snowman Soundtrack and Bachelor Dance Party.
John Dobbin
Like Cain in Kung Fu. Travel the earth, have adventures.
Pulp Fiction
Like most rich people, Tom would rather see his son cut into pieces Mr. Cranky
and fed to Hudson River carp than have any of his money end up in
the hands of some union-loving liberal.
Like the ski resort full of girls looking for husbands and husbands
looking for girls, the situation is not as symmetrical as it might
seem.
Alan McKay
Life is an exciting business, and most exciting when it is lived for
others.
Helen Keller
Life is but a walking shadow...
William Shakespeare
Let there be many windows to your soul, that all the glory of the
world may beautify it.
Ella Wheeler Wilcox
Let me just point out that this is all I saw I of your message. Then
my head exploded.
Sam Greenfield
Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could
not succeed.
Mark Twain
Let r be a group, g be a field, and f be a ring.
Rohit Khare
Let sleeping dogs lie.
Charles Dickens
Let me thank you for putting me back in my snail shell.
They Might Be Giants
Let the marketplace decide.
Tim Byars
Let me take my chances on the wall of death.
REM
Let me speak to our mutual friend.
The Professional
Life itself is the proper binge.
Julia Child
Life may have no meaning. Or even worse, it may have a meaning
of which I disapprove.
Ashleigh Brilliant
Life sucks, get a helmet.
Denis Leary
Life with no f is a lie.
Mad About You
Life, like a dome of many-coloured glass, stains the white radiance
of eternity.
P.B. Shelley
Life would be far more interesting if people could explode at will.
Sam Kass
Life, we learn too late, is in the living, the tissue of every day and
hour.
Stephen Butler Leacock
Life only demands from you the strength you possess. Only one feat Dag Hammarskjold
is possible--not to have run away.
Life without learning is death.
Cicero
Life was simple before World War II. After that, we had systems.
Admiral Grace Hopper
Lighten up, you two. Your penises are both of sufficient size.
Brad Daly
Like a fly to a bug zapper, you are drawn to the cafeteria.
Brendan Gray
Lighten up, Charlie. You have a pickle up your ass.
So I Married an Axe
Murderer
Our dress code is that you must.
Scott McNealy
Our duty is to be useful, not according to our desires, but according Henry F. Amiel
to our powers.
No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on record
saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.
Rita Rudner
No man is free who is not master of himself.
Epictetus
No man needs sympathy because he has to work. Far and away the
best prize that life offers is the chance to work hard at work worth
doing.
Theodore Roosevelt
No man is an island, entire of itself.
John Donne
No animal should ever jump on the dining room furniture unless
absolutely certain he can hold his own in conversation.
Fran Lebowitz
NNTP packets and compressed UUCP batches ship around untold
gigabytes a day of trash. This trash is known, collectively, as
Usenet.
Unix-Haters Handbook
No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.
Aesop
No animals were harmed in the making of this film. We found it
like that.
Mykl
No amount of sophistication is going to allay the fact that all your
knowledge is about the past and all your decisions are about the
future.
Ian E. Wilson
No man is truly great who is great only in his lifetime. The test of
greatness is the page of history.
William Hazlitt
No man has a good enough memory to make a successful liar.
Abraham Lincoln
No idea is so outlandish that it should not be considered with a
searching but at the same time steady eye.
Winston Churchill
When in doubt, use brute force
Ken Thompson
When in doubt, tell the truth.
Mark Twain
No man can be friends with a woman he finds attractive. He
ALWAYS wants to have sex with her.
When Harry Met Sally
No historian can take part with - or against - the forces he has to
study. To him even the extinction of the human race should merely
be a fact to be grouped with other vital statistics.
Henry Brooks Adams
No house should ever be on any hill or on anything. It should be of
Frank Lloyd Wright
the hill, belonging to it.
No house is childproofed unless the little darlings are in
straitjackets.
Peter Burris
No good deed goes unpunished.
Clare Boothe Luce
No human thing is of serious importance.
Plato
No academic ever expects to be taken seriously by more than three
other people, because really, we write for three other people in our
field.
Howard Gardner
no more net surfing for me any longer, now I web spelunk.
Bruce Sherrod
No nation was ever drunk when wine was cheap.
Thomas Jefferson
No nation has ever taxed itself into prosperity.
Rush Limbaugh
No one can eat fifty eggs.
Reality Bites quoting Cool
Hand Luke
No one has ever had an idea in a dress suit.
Sir Frederick G. Banting
No one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American
public.
H.L. Mencken
No more merciful beheadings, and cancel Christmas.
Alan Rickman
No more babies for her, she got her test tubes tied.
Thanh Boyer
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Eleanor Roosevelt
No excellent soul is exempt from a mixture of madness.
Aristotle
No box is big enough to contain our imaginations.
The Spot
No evil can happen to a good man.
Plato
No doubt the much-ballyhooed Bob.
Frasier
No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at Honore de Balzac
least one woman.
No conflict exists between the pleasure a modern American finds in Hugh Hefner
material things and his struggle to discover a new scientific truth, or
evolve a new philosophy, or create a work of art. The good life, the
full life, encompasses all of these - and all of them satisfy and spur
a man on to do more, see more, know more, experience more.
No culture can live, if it attempts to be exclusive.
Mahatma Gandhi
No conspiracy. Now hand me the keys.
Chris Heiser
When in doubt, do what the President does
guess.
When I get that feeling, I need sexual healing
Marvin Gaye
When I give food to the poor, they call me a saint. When I ask why
the poor have no food, they call me a communist.
Dom Helder Camara
When I was a little kid, my mom used to always say, Only God is
Susie Clime
perfect.
When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I Noel Estabrook
was an only child....eventually.
When I was born I did lament and cry, and now each day doth shew Richard Watkins
the reason why.
When I got my first television set, I stopped caring so much about
having close relationships.
Andy Warhol
When I feel like exercising I just lie down until the feeling goes
away.
Robert M. Hutchins
When I found the skull in the woods, the first thing I did was call
Jack Handey
the police. But then I got curious about it. I picked it up, and started
wondering who this person was, and why he had deer horns.
When I first heard that Marge was joining the police academy, I
thought it would be fun and zany, like that movie, Spaceballs. But
instead it was dark and disturbing. Like that movie, Police
Academy.
Homer Simpson
When I die, I hope to go the Heaven, whatever the Hell that is.
Ayn Rand
When I asked him for his autograph, he said I had to talk to his
agent, and when I asked who his agent was, he started to unzip his
pants.
Laurie L.
When I gave food to the poor, they called me a saint. When I asked
why the poor were hungry, they called me a communist.
Dom Helder Camara
When I was a little kid my mother told me not to stare into the sun.
So one day when I was six, I did... the next day I had my first
headache.
Pi
When I saw him, I liked him. When I liked him, I Loved him. When Julia Lasalle
I Loved him, I lost him.
When I was a child, there were times when we had to entertain
ourselves. And usually the best way to do that was to turn on the
TV.
Jack Handey
when i was a freshman here i dated this horrible guy who used to
wear ruffly shirts like that, becuase he was SUPERGOTH. he
turned out to just be a big wanker. which is really the same thing.
Kristiina Wilson
When I think of the past it brings back so many memories.
Steven Wright
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They
rented out my room.
Woody Allen
When in doubt, use brute force.
Ken Thompson
When Mr. Gotti says take a dive, you take a damn dive.
David Letterman
When more and more people are thrown out of work,
unemployment results.
Calvin Coolidge
When I write my music I see all the rivers flowing... sensual,
Laura Nyro
spiritual, religious, animal, intellectual...
When I woke up late, I felt behind all day. When I wake up early, I
feel ahead all day.
Eric Bax
When my old man wanted sex... my mother would show him a
picture of me.
Rodney Dangerfield
When I hear anyone talk of Culture, I reach for my revolver.
Hermann Goering
When I played in the sandbox the cat kept covering me up.
Rodney Dangerfield
When I have one foot in the grave I will tell the truth about women. Leo Tolstoy
I shall tell it, jump into my coffin, pull the lid over me, and say Do
what you like now.
When I was younger, I was kiddnapped by a cult of kickboxing
ninja who made me play a grueling steel cage match of basketball
to the death every night.
Duckman
No matter how many communes anybody invents, the family
always creeps back in.
Margaret Mead
Nobody, as long as he moves about among the chaotic currents of
life, is without trouble.
Carl Jung
Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg
cackles as if she had laid an asteroid.
Mark Twain
Normal is just a setting on your dryer.
Patsy Clairmont
Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work, driving Ellen Goodman
through traffic in a car that you are still paying for, in order to get to
a job that you need so you can pay for the clothes, car and the house
that you leave empty all day in order to afford to live in it.
None of the women that Ken knows have brushes or combs. When
their hair gets tangly or knotted, Ken is there for them.
J.J. Barkas
Nonviolence is the first article of my faith. It is also the last article
of my creed.
Mahatma Gandhi
None love the bearer of bad news.
Sophocles
Not having sendmail is like not having VD.
Ron Heiby
Nostalgia is a seductive liar.
George Ball
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and Dave Barry
oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a
vitalingredient in beer.
Normally destruction and stuff is cool but here... here it just falls
flat.
Butt-head
Not at all, said the woman to the man, I was thinking of an
unrelated thing.
They Might Be Giants
Not counting the mezzanine.
Hudsucker Proxy
Not all the conservative are stupid, but all the stupid are
Benjamin Disraeli
conservative.
Nothing destroys authority so much as the unequal and untimely
interchange of power, pressed too far and relaxed too much.
Francis Bacon
Nothing in education is so atonishing as the amount of ignorance it
accumulates in the form of inert facts
Henry Adams
Nothing helps a bad mood like spreading it around.
Calvin
Nothing I do is my fault.
Calvin
Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational Dogbert
things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the
principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion.
Nothing easy is ever simple.
Plucky Duck
Not one man in a beer commercial has a beer belly.
Rita Rudner
Nothing ever goes away.
Barry Commoner
Nothing great is created suddenly, any more than a bunch of grapes Epictetus
or a fig. If you tell me that you desire a fig, I answer you that there
must be time. Let it first blossom, then bear fruit, then ripen.
Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Nothing can be done in one trip.
Snider
Nothing can resist the human will that will stake even its existence
on its stated purpose.
Benjamin Disraeli
Nothing can bring you peace but yourself.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Nothing can so prevent you from learning the truth as the belief that Jon Hart
you already know it.
Nothing can so alienate a voter from the political system as backing Mark B. Cohen
a winning candidate.
Nothing bad ever happens without equal or greater benefit in return. Napoleon Hill
Nothing contributes so much to tranquilize the mind as in steady
purpose.
Mary Wallstonecraft
Norman is so fat, he has furniture disease - his chest is in his
drawers.
Jim Cornette
Norman is so stupid, mind readers charge him half price.
Jim Cornette
New York City has no power, and the milk is getting sour, but to
me it is not scary, cuz I stay away from dairy.
Friends
Never worry about a book corrupting a child... Worry if your
children are not getting ideas from books.
Richard Peck
New York... when civilization falls apart, remember, we were way
ahead of you.
David Letterman
Never wash chocolate cake down with mead. Ever.
Douglas Lathrop
Never wear a backward baseball cap to an interview unless
applying for the job of umpire.
Dan Zevin
Never, ever do the cups and balls with clear cups.
Penn and Teller
No matter how far a man may travel, he will never get ahead of
himself.
Malagigi
No matter how cool your interface, it would be better if there were
less of it.
Alan Cooper
No man would eat a Princess Cake.
John Dobbin
No member of a rowing team is ever praised for the rugged
individuality of his rowing.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
No matter where you go, there you are.
Buckaroo Banzai
Nice guys finish last.
Leo Durocher
Nice night for an evening.
Stephen Wright
Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is really quite as
satisfying as an income tax refund.
F.J. Raymond
Nice guys finish last, but we get to sleep in.
Evan Davis
Not a man to mince words. People yes. But not words.
Terry Pratchett
No one is much pleased with a companion who does not increase, in Samuel Johnson
some respect, their fondness for themselves.
NFS was a leap forward from one miserable file system, to many
united miserable file systems.
Felipe Cabrera
Nice try, but no banana. None of the above. Born to be wild. Bad to mostly from songs
the bone. I gonna give you every inch of my love.
Nietzsche must have had a bad childhood.
Rob McLay
Nigga is a state of mind.
John Dobbin
Ninety percent of the politicians give the other ten percent a bad
name.
Henry Kissinger
Ninty-eight Blue and Green Slaad at the door, Ninty-eight Blue and Biff the Wonder Twit
Green Slaad, Take one down, they gate in two more, Ninty-nine
Blue and Green Slaad at the door...
Nirvana... the place where the powers that be and their friends hang Zonker Harris
out.
When cryptography is outlawed, bayl bhgynjf jvyy unir pelcgb.
Dave Polaschek
When gossip grows old it becomes myth.
Stanislaw J. Lee
When grasshopper learns to stagger drunk like a flea, he will be
ready to leave the monastary.
Anu Kapoor
When Gods were more Man-like, men were more god-like.
Friedrich Nietzsche
Whatever bubbles, bubbles up.
Lucas
Whatever is not eternal is eternally out of date.
CS Lewis
When everything is a priority, nothing is a priority.
Simon Fulleringer
When an idea is wanting a word can always be found to take its
place.
Johann Wolfgang von
Goethe
When angry, count ten before you speak. If very angry, a hundred.
Thomas Jefferson
When art communicates, a human experience is actively offered
and actively received.
Raymond Williams
What we lack in brains we make up for... in good attentions...
Mom and Dad Save the
World
What we are talking about is a massive evolution, not a massive
revolution.
Mani Chandy
What we believe is the most powerful option of all.
Norman Cousins
What we see depends on mainly what we look for.
John Lubbock
What we have here is a failure to communicate.
Cool Hand Luke
When a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she Rita Rudner
will assume she has gained weight. When a man tries something
from his closet that feels tight, he will assume the clothing has
shrunk.
When a woman has been scorned there are no accidents.
Christen Runge
When four or more men get together, they talk about sports. When
four or more women get together, they talk about men.
Rita Rudner
When a man marries his mistress it creates a job opening.
Sir James Goldsmith
When a man goes on a date he wonders if he is going to get lucky.
A woman already knows.
Frederick Ryder
Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does Nietsche
not become a monster.
Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present
controls the past.
George Orwell
Who lives by the sword shall die by the sword.
Matthew
Whatever this is called, this is exactly what we have.
Piyush Mehrotra
Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has
genius, power and magic in it.
Johann Wolfgang Von
Goethe
Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be
thought half as good. Luckily this is not difficult.
Charlotte Whitton
When a immovable object meets an irresistable force, someone has
to laugh at the stalemate.
Richard Goodman
When a dog runs at you, whistle for him.
Henry David Thoreau
When a democracy is in trouble, the remedy is more democracy.
Andrew Jackson
Whatever is not nailed down is mine. What I can pry loose is not
nailed down.
Collis P. Huntingdon
When a distinguished but elderly scientist states that something is
Arthur C. Clarke
possible, he is almost certainly right. When he states that something
is impossible, he is very probably wrong.
Whatever you have, you must either use or lose.
Henry Ford
Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that
you do it.
Mahatma Gandhi
Whom the mad would destroy, first they make Gods.
Bernard Levin
Whosoever is delighted in solitude is either a wild beast or a god.
Francis Bacon
Whoso would be a man must be a nonconformist.
Emerson
What we wish, that we readily believe.
Demosthenes
When spider webs unite, they can tie up a lion.
Ethiopian Proverb
When the catalogs get tough, the garden gets compost.
Truman Bullard
When the rich think about the poor they have poor ideas.
Eva Peron
When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men
invade another country.
Elayne Boosler
When we see the whip, we hear the crack.
Rugburns
When the music hits, I feel no pain at all.
Tim Armstrong
When sitting, just sit. When walking, just walk.
Zen Proverb
When the insects take over the world, we hope they will remember
with gratitude how we took them along on all our picnics.
Bill Vaughan
When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.
Raoul Duke
When publishing is made free, only the criminally insane will
publish.
Rohit Khare
When she says all men are like a disease then I wonder how much
more I can stand.
Offspring
When shit becomes valuable, the poor will be born without
assholes.
Henry Miller
When we ask advice, we are usually looking for an accomplice.
Marquis de Lagrange
When we are planning for posterity, we ought to remember that
virtue is not hereditary.
Thomas Paine
When the sun shineth, make hay.
John Heywood
When the speaker and he to whom he is speaks do not understand,
that is metaphysics.
Voltaire
When the will defies fear, when duty throws the gauntlet down to
R.G. Ingersoll
fate, when honor scorns to compromise with death - that is heroism.
When the weight of the paperwork equals the weight of the plane,
the plane will fly.
Donald Douglas
When two people make love, there are at least four people there.
Sigmund Freud
The two who are actually there, and the two they are thinking about.
When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one
Dave Barry
individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command.
Very often, that individual is crazy.
When there is no peril in the fight, there is no glory in the triumph.
Pierre Corneille
When there is food, there are many problems. When there is no
food, there is only one problem.
Chinese Proverb
When you are day trading, if something sounds too good to be true, Andy Borowitz
go for it.
When you are in any contest, you should work as if there were - to
the very last minute - a chance to lose it. This is battle, this is
politics, this is anything.
Dwight D. Eisenhower
When women kiss it always reminds one of prize fighters shaking
hands.
H.L. Mencken
When women hold off from marrying men, we call it independence. Warren Farrell
When men hold off from marrying women, we call it fear of
commitment.
When we can begin to take our failures no-seriously, it means we
are ceasing to be afraid of them. It is of immense importance to
learn to laugh at ourselves.
Katherine Mansfield
When we do the best we can, we never know what miracle is
wrought in our life, or in the life of another.
Helen Keller
When you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and you Think of Things, A.A. Milne
you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish
inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and has
other people looking at it.
When we are collecting books, we are collecting happiness.
Vincent Starret
When written in Chinese, the word crisis is composed of two
characters. One represents danger and other represents opportunity.
John F. Kennedy
What soap is for the body, tears are for the soul.
Jewish proverb
What the world really needs is more love and less paperwork.
Pearl Bailey
What the world needs now is another folk singer like I need a hole
in my head.
Cracker
What this country needs is a good five-cent nickel.
Frank Adams
What the world needs now is a good Megadeth album.
David Ellefson
What you cannot understand you cannot possess.
Johann Wolfgang von
Goethe
When her mouth moves, pay attention, words could be coming out.
Words are kind of important.
Dennis Miller
When the eagles are silent, the parrots begin to jabber.
Winston Churchill
When the going gets tough, the tough hide under the table.
Blackadder III
When the going gets tough, the tough change their minds.
Dennis Miller
When the going gets tough, philosophers equivocate. They bury
their heads in the sands of analogy.
John Knasas
When The Going Gets Tough The Dice Get Hosey
Ian Schrieber
When the going gets tough, everyone leaves.
Lynch
What you think about, you do. What you do, you become.
G. Gordon Liddy
What you need to do is try and be the best person you can be,
instead of comparing yourself to how pathetic other people are.
Dan Frey
What you fear in the night and the day comes to call anyway.
Counting Crows
Not one shred of evidence exists that life is serious.
Joseph Campbell
One does not make friends. One recognizes them.
Garth Henrichs
One good turn asketh another.
John Heywood
One is the loneliest number. Two is as lonely as one, just shifted to
the left.
Dave Barr
One good turn deserves another.
Gaius Petronius
One form to rule them all, one form to find them, one form to bring Sendmail comment
them all and in the darkness rewrite the hell out of them.
One is very crazy when in love.
Sigmund Freud
One learns to itch where one can scratch.
Ernest Bramah
One man with courage makes a majority.
Andrew Jackson
One man, scorned and covered with scars, still strove, with his last
ounce of courage to reach the unreachable star.
Man of la Mancha
One must work hard at procrastination, or something might get
done ahead of time.
Chris Heiser
One must have loved a woman of genius to comprehend the
happiness of loving a fool.
Talleyrand
One must care about a world one will not see.
Bertrand Russell
One must be poor to know the luxury of giving.
George Eliot
One more nostalgic part of childhood goes THBPPTH.
Calvin
One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake
words for thoughts.
Samuel Johnson
One of the greatest gifts you can get as a writer is to be born into an Pat Conroy
unhappy family.
One of the secrets to life is to make stepping stones out of
stumbling blocks.
Jack Penn
One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly
making exiting discoveries.
A.A. Milne
One of the greatest labour-saving inventions of today is tomorrow.
Vincent T. Foss
One of the nice things about history is that it never goes out of date. Kevin Hughes
One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a Mark Twain
cat has only nine lives.
One of the things that I want to get back is the idea that the Web
version is the original, and if you really need paper product you
derive it from there. Tim had a little application which he used to
translate HTML files into text, collate them, and print a book that
included a table of contents and index.
Robert Cailliau
One ought, every day at least, to hear a little song, read a good
poem, see a fine picture, and, if it were possible, to speak a few
reasonable words.
Johann Wolfgang van
Goethe
One swallow does not make a summer.
Aristotle
One ring to rule them all, One ring to find them, One ring to bring
them all, And in the darkness bind them.
Tolkein
One side of my butt is totally asleep, and the other side has no idea. Friends
One should not attempt to cross a chasm in two bounds.
Chinese saying
One should always be wary of anyone who promises their love will
last longer than a weekend.
Quentin Crisp
Neither tempest tossed nor temptor sent.
Edgar Allen Poe
Neither a burrower nor a lentil bee.
William Shakespeare
Neckties strangle clear thinking.
Lin Yutang
Nearly all of the consequences of the widespread adoption of Java Doug Lea
are pretty scary if you think too hard about them. People who know
nothing about distribution are building distributed systems. People
who know nothing about concurrency are building concurrent
programs. People who know nothing about OO frameworks are
building GUIs.
Necessity knows no laws.
Pubillius Syrus
Nature magically suits a man to his fortunes, by making them the
fruit of his character.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Nature was enough until human nature came along.
Emily Dickenson
Nature, to be commanded, must be obeyed.
Roger Bacon
Naturally, we went the wacky capitalization route, though we admit Adam Engst
that it takes hard work, not just wacky capitalization, to make for a
super-cool product.
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin
unprotected.
Red Buttons
Never run in the rain with your socks on.
Billie Joe Armstrong
Never ruin an apology with an excuse.
Kimberly Johnson
Never stay too long in your bed, never lose your heart, use your
head.
Chess
Necessity is the mother of the re-invented wheel.
Charlie Gibbs
Necessity has no law.
St. Augustine
Necessity is the mother of taking chances.
Mark Twain
netnews.alt.censorship temporarily unavailable. Please try later.
the Andrew Message
System
Netscape was apparently relying on security by obscurity in this
case.
Sameer Parekh
Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so you
apologize for truth.
Benjamin Disraeli
Never eat anything bigger than your head.
Kilban
Neural nets are cool. I have one. I like to put alcohol on it.
Manuel Sanches
Never be the first to believe, never be the last to deceive.
Chess
Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.
Marie Curie
Never assume intelligence.
Jeff Cantor
Never assume that the guy understands that you and he have a
relationship.
Dave Barry
Never esteem anything as of advantage to you that you will make
you break your word or lose your self-respect.
Marcus Antonius
Nature does nothing uselessly.
Aristotle
Nature is a whore.
Nirvana
Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it
cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs.
Fran Leibowitz
Nature abhors a virgin - a frozen asset.
Clare Booth Luce
Never eat more than you can lift.
Miss Piggy
Never can be too prepared, especially for unlikely events.
John Dobbin
Never bet the devil your head.
E.A. Poe
Other sports exist only to keep you occupied until baseball season
comes around again.
Dave Barry
Our Constitution protects aliens, drunks, and US Senators.
Will Rogers
Our business in life is not to get ahead of others, but to get ahead of Stewart B. Johnson
ourselves... to break our own records, to outstrip our yesterday by
our today.
Opinions founded on prejudice are always sustained with the
greatest violence.
Hebrew Proverb
Organic chemistry is the chemistry of carbon compounds.
Biochemistry is the study of carbon compounds that crawl.
Mike Adams
Opportunity is when luck and preparation come together.
Vince Lombardi
Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in
overalls and looks like work.
Thomas Edison
Once divided, nothing left to subtract. Some words when spoken,
can be taken back.
Pearl Jam
Once harm has been done, even a fool understands it
Homer
Once more unto the breach, dear friends
Henry V
Once the realization is accepted that even between the closest
Rainer Rilke
human beings infinite distances continue to exist, a wonderful
living side by side can grow up, if they succeed in loving the
distance between them which makes it possible for each to see each
other whole against the sky.
Once I got past my anger toward my mother, I began to excel in
volleyball and modeling.
Gabrielle Reece
Originality is undetected plagiarism.
Dean W.R. Inge
One test is worth a thousand expert opinions.
Bill Nye the Science Guy
Originality is nothing but judicious imitation. The most original
Voltaire
writers borrowed from one another. The instruction we find in
books is like fire. We fetch it from our neighbors, kindle it at home,
communicate it to others, and it becomes the property of all.
Our courtship was fast and furious. I was fast and she was furious.
Max Kauffmann
Our mind is capable of passing beyond the dividing line we have
drawn for it. Beyond the pairs of opposites of which the world
consists, other, new insights begin.
Hermann Hesse
Our vision is to speed up time, eventually eliminating it.
Alex Schure
Our water pressure is so low, you have to run around in the shower
to get wet.
Peter Campbell
Our thought is the key which unlocks the doors of the world. There
is something in us which corresponds to that which is around us,
beneath us, and above us.
Samuel McChord Crothers
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is
that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our Light, not our
darkness that most frightens us.
Nelson Mandela
Our world is one of nuclear giants and ethical infants.
Gen. Omar N. Bradley
Our research methods consisted of picking our noses while making
Robert Rodgers on PC
the obvious assumption.
World reporting
Our problems are mostly behind us. What we have to do now is
fight the solutions.
slashdot
Our patience will achieve more than our force.
Edmund Burke
Out of sight is out of mind.
Arthur Clough
Our society is spiritually malnourished because we have abandoned Laura Esquivel
the kitchen.
Our number one business is your number two.
Roto Rooter Sewage Inc.
Once and for all, there is a great deal I do not want to know. Wisdom sets bounds even to knowledge.
Friedrich Nietzsche
On the other paw, this is gonna be more fun than sneezing on
strangers.
Dogbert
On the good side the open bar at the rear of the plane helped
eradicate the fear said engine would cease functioning while the
wheels were not chocked.
Scott Potter
On Earth Day I was going to plant some trees, but I planted my ass
on the couch.
Rugburns
On the plus side, these pellets are excellent.
Dilbert
Older women are the best because they always think they may be
doing it for the last time.
Ian Fleming
One of the greatest tragedies of life is the murder of beautiful theory Ben Franklin
by a gang of brutal facts.
One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to
do and always a clever thing to say.
Will Durant
One of the main advantages of Unix over, say, MVS, is the
tremendous number of features Unix lacks.
Chris Torek
One of the lesser known trials of Hercules...
John Dobbin
One of the quickest ways to meet people is to pick up the wrong
ball on a golf course.
Bits and Pieces
On the business front, UNIX has been under attack from a variety
of sources, primarily by the nonexistant Windows NT. Luckily, the
UNIX vendors have their own nonexistant products with which to
answer the threat.
Stephen C. Johnson
On one side of the road is a church. On the other is a liquor store.
Both of which are keeping us poor.
Public Enemy
One of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that,
lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of
their C programs.
Robert Firth
One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like.
George Carlin
One can not take any old organ and just put it anywhere you please. Voxers at Large
Once again, I have been too crude. But you seem to enjoy that.
Charles Fleischer
Once again, it would be a different world if I were God.
Men Behaving Badly
One could not be a successful scientist without realizing, in contrast James Watson
to the popular conception supported by newspapers and mothers of
scientists, a goodly number of scientists are not only narrowminded and dull, but also just stupid.
One conjugation error, three capitalization errors, and one
punctuation error, all in one sentence - yes, I can see why you
consider yourself an authority on the English language.
Joe Barrera
One beer and one towel, please.
skeleton in a saloon
On top of the News, ahead of the Times.
New York Newsday
On a clear disk you can seek forever.
Peter Denning
On a ceiling, on a voice of letters let me say, I wanna leave it again. Pearl Jam
Once you have flown, you will walk the Earth with your eyes
turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to
return.
Leonardo da Vinci
Never take a job where winter winds can blow up your pants.
Geraldo Rivera
No, well actually yes. I think so. Or something.
Robert Harley
No. There is another.
Yoda
No, you pretty much want to nail them too.
When Harry Met Sally
No. This is alt.gothic. The ghetto has no exit.
Natalia Lincoln
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
Todd Blanchard
No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die.
Goldfinger
Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Joe Theismann
Norman Einstein.
Nobody is more of an expert on teenage chick flicks than me.
John Dobbin
Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is somebody Joe Theismann
like Norman Einstein.
Nobody roots for Goliath.
Wilt Chamberlain
No, I air dry.
Jerry Maguire
No, I am not responsible for you. Your karma is not mine.
Charles Manson
No, it is not only our fate but our business to lose our innocence,
and once we have lost that, it is futile to attempt a picnic in Eden.
Elizabeth Bowen
My people, we have no bunghole.
Beavis as Cornholio
My problems dim in the face of the world, but the explode in all
unreality.
Deborah Volk
My philosophy, in essence, is the concept of man as a heroic being,
Ayn Rand
with his own happiness as the moral purpose of his life, with
productive achievement as his noblest activity, and reason as his
only absolute.
My philosophy of life is that the meek shall inherit nothing but
debasement, frustration, and ignoble deaths...
Harlan Ellison
Natives who beat drums to drive off evil spirits are objects of scorn
to smart Americans who blow horns to break up traffic jams.
Mary Ellen Kelly
My personal hobbies are reading, listening to music, and silence.
Edith Stillwell
My true religion is kindness.
Dalai Lama
My problem is that my talents are undervalued.
Calvin
My teen angst bullshit now has a body count.
Heathers
My theology, briefly, is that the universe was dictated, but not
signed.
Christopher Morley
My seat in the almost-empty theater. I was in front of man-wholoved-movie-and-kicks-seat-in-front-of-him-vigorously-wheneverexcited, immediately behind Flatulant Man, and his evil sidekick,
Giggling-through-whole-Fucking-Movie Boy.
Jim Zelenka
My reality checks have been returned for insufficient funds.
djwhite
My parents put a live teddy bear in my crib.
Woody Allen
My sources are unreliable, but their information is fascinating.
Ashleigh Brilliant
My soul knows that I am part of the human race, as my spirit is part D.H. Lawrence
of my nation. In my very own self, I am a part of my family.
Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy
merely to be normal.
Albert Camus
No time for love, Dr. Jones.
Clerks
Not returning calls is good. Writing someone an incredibly boring
letter so they decide to stop trying to correspond with you is better.
Megan Coughlin
Not taking and consuming, but giving, risking and creating are the George Gilder
characteristic roles of the capitalist, the key producers of the wealth
of nations.
No shirt, no shoes, ..no cervix.
Vince Farquharson
No user reads documentation straight through.
Rohit Khare
No society can surely be flourishing and happy when part of the
members are poor and miserable.
Adam Smith
Not only does God play dice with the universe, he sometimes
throws them where they cannot be seen.
Neils Bohr
Not only did I not know anything, but each time I tried to learn
something, it actually ate memory.
Joel Franklin
Not much between despair and ecstasy.
Chess
Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door.
Emily Dickinson
Not only does God play dice with the universe, but sometimes he
throws them where they cannot be seen.
Stephen Hawking
Not to mention the jews and the blacks.
Seinfeld
Not only is this incomprehensible, but the ink is ugly and the paper
is from the wrong kind of tree.
Profesoor W.
Not, I think, today, Commander.
Picard
Not to know what happened before one was born is always to be a
child.
Cicero
Not to speak ill of another requires only your silence.
Lewis Carroll
Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the
American people.
P.T. Barnum
Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American
public.
H. L. Mencken
No, DINOSAURS are big-boned. Put the fork away.
Denis Leary
No price exists except that which is cleared.
NYSE motto
Nobody ever got the death penalty for attempting suicide.
John Dobbin
Nobody else combines his great humanity, personality, sense of
Robert Harley
humor and his outstanding ability as scientist, engineer and teacher.
Nobody owns life, but anybody who owns a frying pan owns death. William S Burroughs
Nobody controls his own life. The best you can do is to choose to
fill the roles given to you by good people, by people who love you.
Valentine Wiggin
No relation. Although we both need to get laid.
Andrew Crown
No other factory in the world mixes its chocolate by waterfall.
Willy Wonka
No wise man ever wished to be younger.
Jonathan Swift
No wonder Jocelyn Elders wears glasses.
Jay Leno
No weasing the juice.
Encino Man
No one traveling on a business trip would be missed if he failed to
arrive.
Thorstein Veblen
No poet or novelist wishes he were the only one who ever lived, but W. H. Auden
most of them wish the were the only one alive, and quite a number
fondly believe their wish has been granted.
No one said winning was cheap.
Jerry Maguire
No one says Hey Dude with the gusto and verve that Tim does.
Rohit Khare
No one move and nobody gets hurt.
Counting Crows
My long-term research ideas involve putting an OO language and
distributed-programming-made-easy interface atop some global
Rohit Khare
namespace technology.
Never make a promise or plan, take a little love where you can.
Chess
My lips are registered weapons.
Butt-head
My life is more like Planet of the Dopes.
When Harry Met Sally
Never matter. Never mind. Generation. Degeneration.
Regeneration.
Adam Rifkin
Never mistake a clear view for a short distance.
Paul Saffo
Never look at the trombones... it only encourages them.
Richard Strauss
My job is not all that difficult, but I do have to know the entire
alphabet.
Vanna White
My my my the feigned gaps in thy Weltannshaung...
Rohit Khare
My karma ran over your dogma.
Bumper sticker
My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me.
Benjamin Disraeli
My inner child is toting an Uzi.
Drew Olbrich
My life has been weird since I discovered sex.
Kristin Buckwalter
Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.
Bumper sticker
Never kick a fresh cow dropping on a hot day.
Harry S Truman
Never is about six months.
Charlie Gibbs
Never invoke the gods unless you really want them to appear. It
annoys them very much.
G.K. Chesterton
Never tell a young person that anything cannot be done. God may
have been waiting for centuries for somebody ignorant enough of
the impossible to do that very thing.
John Andrew Holmes
Never underestimate the power of a fight between Jesus and Santa
Tim Skirvin
Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes. Dr. Warren Jackson
Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes
hurtling down the highway.
Andrew Tannenbaum
Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they
will surprise you with their ingenuity.
General George S. Patton,
Jr.
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
Erma Bombeck
Never leave a moment too soon, never waste a hot afternoon.
Chess
Never have so many fought for so little.
Winston Churchill
Never moon a werewolf.
Mike Binder
Never promise more than you can perform.
Publilius Syrus
Never mistake motion for action.
Ernest Hemingway
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
Erma Bombeck
Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is
in the room.
Winston Churchill
Never give in. Never. Never. Never. Never.
Winston Churchill
Never give up. And never, under any circumstances, face the facts.
Ruth Gordon
My Gorgonite brothers are doing what the Gorgonites do best. They Small Soldiers
are hiding.
My grandfather could sharpen a kitchen knife like no one else. He
could use it to slice bread so thin it only had one side. To apply
butter you had to fold the bread first.
Donald Theisen
My good intentions are completely lethal.
Margaret Atwood
My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
Ashleigh Brilliant
My words are a matter of pride.
The Lion King
My views do not represent the views of KSU because I think that
their ideas are more fucked up than a football bat.
Michael Simone
My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday.
Rodney Dangerfield
My wife is always empty, and the fridge is always eating.
Rugburns
NASA Announces New Deck Chair Arrangement For Space Station Tom Neff
Titanic.
My whole existence is flawed. You get me closer to God.
Nine Inch Nails
My whole life is this family, and it does not work without him.
Jerry Maguire
Mykl. Kangal. Faisal...sounds like a spell being cast or
something......
Kriste Jordan
Mythology is a rendition of forms, through which the formless form Joseph Campell
of forms can be known.
My heart goes out to you. You should probably go buy some
consumer electronics. That always helps me.
Gray Jones
My friend is that one whom I can associate with my choicest
thought.
Thoreau
My money is all wrinkled. I have to go home and iron it.
Bob McKown
My friends would think I was a nut, turning water into wine.
Peter Gabriel
My favorite ritual is eating three bowls of Chocolate Frosted Sugar
Bombs and watching TV cartoons all Saturday morning.
Calvin
My father was a nun. The court asked him occupation and he said
none.
Blackadder IV
My fax is getting acne, and it needs some tetracycline.
Rugburns
My favorite cooking utensil is the telephone.
John Dobbin
My friends, no matter how rough the road may be, we can and we
will never, never surrender to what is right.
Vice President Dan Quayle
My favorite magazine. Soft, strong, and thoroughly absorbant.
Blackadder IV
My favorite part of dinner
Riker
Put this in your mouth and repeat after me. Wallamalloo,
wallamalloo, wallamalloo.
Australian proverb
Put your Nose to the Grindstone
Amalgamated Plastic
Surgeons and Toolmakers,
Ltd.
putting the mental in sentimental... one drama at a time.
Kriste Jordan
Procrastinators have the advantage of working with the very latest
data available.
Tom Talley
Psychotherapy is the theory that the patient will probably get well
anyhow and is certainly a damn fool.
H.L. Mencken
Public speaking is very easy.
Senator Dan Quayle
Published for You by a Large, Uncaring, Conglomerate.
Washington Post
Put it to the wall, Mr. LaForge.
Picard
Quenching the thirst of those below depends upon the imperfect
plumbing of those above.
Reg Whitaker on trickledown economics
Production is not the application of tools to material, but of logic to
work.
Peter Drucker
Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
Don Marquis
Prior planning prevents piss poor performance.
Bill Rifkin
Pretty daring of you to be storing important files on a Unix system.
Robert Seastrom
Pretty Wooden would be a great name for a band.
Adam Rifkin
Press the bomb button. You and the lion die as one.
Heathers
Pride is a wonderful terrible thing. A seed that bears two vines.
LIFE and DEATH.
Scarlett Ibis
Proofreading is more effective after publication.
Barker
Prosperity makes friends, adversity tries them.
Publilius Syrus
Prophecy is the wit of a fool.
Vladimir Nabokov
Price of admission
your premise.
Probably the earliest fly swatters were nothing more than some sort
of striking surface attached to the end of a long stick.
Jack Handey
Profanity is the inevitable linguistic crutch of the inarticulate
motherfucker.
Bruce Sherrod
probably just wait until the right moment to make a move and have Adam Rixey
her rip my heart out and toss some quicklime on it and then throw it
in a blender, chug it, snarf it so it goes out her nose, and then flush
the remnants down the toilet.
Profanity often lends itself to contentment not found even at prayer. Mark Twain
Plot is like a spine... if you rip it out, something dies.
Josh Byer
Pittsburgh is an acquired distaste.
Nicholas Brownlow
Pleasure is the start and end of living happily.
Epicurus
Pleasure is the only thing to live for. Nothing ages like happiness.
Oscar Wilde
Please, no mouse balls, dyslexic agnostics, Iraqi drivers ed, strings
in bar or bell-ringer jokes.
Brad Templeton
Pity the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.
Don Marquis
Playing on the edge means being willing to go into the unknown. It
means approaching that place where real growth occurs.
Stephen Levine
Playing an unamplified electric guitar is like strumming on a picnic Dave Barry
table.
Please break the laws of the physical universe for my convenience.
Amen.
Emo Phillips
Please baby, please baby, baby baby please baby.
Spike Lee
Play for more than you can afford to lose, and you will learn the
game.
Winston Churchill
Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win.
Jonathan Kozol
Piety requries us to honor truth above friends.
Aristotle
Pick your poisson, he said, fishing for compliments.
Adam Rifkin
Poisonous asps. Very dangerous. You go first.
Indiana Jones
Pulling his suspenders so tight his head and ass switch places.
David Letterman
Put a lid on it, and everything will be all right.
Squirrel Nut Zippers
Please refrain from touching that extremely cool piece of
equipment.
Dave Wiggins
Pure caffeine... cures headaches, fatigue, aches, pains, neuritis,
neuralgia...
Medicine Man
Puritanism is the haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be
happy.
H.L. Mencken
Psychology is half of unsobriety. The other half is proof.
Adam Rifkin
Psychoanalysis is confession without absolution.
G.K. Chesterton
Psychoanalysis is the mental illness it purports to cure.
Karl Kraus
Purraps it depends on whether your organ is tumid or flaccid...
Robert Harley
Please Note. As of the ending date of this statement, this account is
now closed. ... Getting Cash From Our ATMs Will Become More
Convenient For You
Crestar Bank closing
statement
Please never use the term oral exploration again.
John Dobbin
Please try not to be such a wienerhead.
Dave Barry
Please enjoy San Francisco without me, as I am poor and deathly
afraid to meet half of you anyway.
Duck
Points and lines, lines and points, welcome to the third dimension.
If only I had the time...
Adam Rifkin
Please do not speak. It will only save you embarassment in the
future.
Mark Argent
Prove to me that you are NOT a Psycho Bitch.....
Mike Darweesh
Paper is always strongest at the perforations.
Corry
Paradise is exactly like where you are right now, only much better.
Laurie Anderson
Parity is for farmers.
Seymour Cray
Paranoia is rarely baseless.
John Dobbin
Paranoia will get you through times of no enemies better than
enemies will get you through times of no paranoia.
Pete Granger
Pedestrian pushbuttons at stoplights are placebos.
Cecil Adams
Perhaps we foraged for sustenance together, snorfeling water at a
nearby stream...
Hudsucker Proxy
Peel me off this Velcro seat and get me moving.
Green Day
perl is not just an insane language. it is the insane language of
CHOICE.
Vijay Gill
Overload
core meltdown sequence
initiated.
Out of the penis-pan, into the crossfire.
Andrew Plotkin on Bruce
selling his Magic cards to
buy a paintball gun
Overnight successes take a long time. It takes perseverance. You
just have to keep on going.
Steve Jobs
Paint the White House black.
George Clinton
Over the weekend, Howard Cosell was pronounced dead. He
immediately argued that the doctor was in no position to make that
call.
Bill Maher
Overall, however, the adaptation falls flat, lacking the true grit of its Brad Wieners reviewing
characters, lacking, in fact, in both the Fear and Loathing
the radio adaptation of
Departments.
Fear and Loathing in Las
Vegas
Person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt person doing Chinese proverb
it.
Persistent people begin their success where others end in failures.
Edward Eggleston
Perfection is the child of time.
Joseph Hall
Perfection is in thoughts, not words.
Adam Rifkin
Perhaps it means nothing, or as we know, sometimes a person can
mean nothing.
Ann Marie Clark
Phoebe is Phoebe but Ursula is HOT.
Friends
Physics is becoming so unbelievably complex that it is taking
longer and longer to train a physicist. It is taking so long, in fact, to
train a physicist to the place where he understands the nature of
physical problems that he is already too old to solve them.
Eugene Wigner
Physics is to mathematics as sex is to masturbation.
Richard Feynman
Philosophy is useless, theology is worse.
Dire Straits
Perhaps the only dismaying aspect of excellence is that it makes
living in a world of mediocrity an ongoing prospect of living hell.
The subtle distressing perturbation.
Harlan Ellison
Personally I do not take a stand on the quaint customs that may take Phill Hallam-Baker
place in the colonies. If they wish to speak in a certain way then that
is their business. When the greatest cultural aspiration of a society
is to place a MacBurger Bar and Hagen Das Ice Cream palour on
every highstreet of the globe it seems somewhat irrelevant to start
taking them up on their vocabulary.
Perfect paranoia is perfect awareness.
Golden Years
People would rather live with a problem they cannot solve rather
than accept a solution they cannot understand.
Woolsey-Swanson Rule
Outside of traffic, there is nothing that has held this country back as Will Rogers
much as committees.
Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime
rates in the country.
Marion Barry
Patience is passion tamed.
Lyman Abbott
Patience is a remedy for every sorrow.
Pubilius Syrus
Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all other George Bernard Shaw
countries because you were born in it.
Patience is the best remedy for every trouble.
Titus Maccius Plautus
Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the Mark Twain
food fight it out inside.
Parting is all we know of heaven, and all we need of hell.
Emily Dickinson
Pascal is not a high-level language.
Steven Feiner
Pascal is Pascal is Pascal is dog meat.
M. Devine
Patience and perseverance pave the pathway to all goals.
Kathryn Major
Patriotism is the willingness to kill and be killed for trivial reasons.
Bertrand Russell
Programming X Windows is like trying to find the square root of pi Unix-Haters Handbook
using roman numerals.
Progress might have been all right once, but it has gone on too long. Ogden Nash
Programs are like waffles... you should always throw the first one
out.
Burt Sutherland
Protect your software at all costs
all else is meat.
Progress is not striving for economic justice or fairness, but
economic growth.
Rush Limbaugh
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to Rich Cook
build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe
trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is
winning.
Promising a demo may be a bit ambitious, given the current status
of the implementation project.
Paolo Sivilotti
Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.
Samuel Johnson
Owen will eat a mint and then will enjoy his fresh, minty breath.
David Letterman
Pain and suffering are always inevitable for a large intellegnece and Dostoevsky
a deep heart. The really great men must, I think, have great
saddness on Earth.
Paint him red, and then kill him.
High Plains Drifter
Pain is better than emptiness, emptiness is better than nothing, and
nothing is better than this.
King Missile
Passionate hatred can give meaning and purpose to an empty life.
Eric Hoffer
Pat Buchanan is so homophobic he blames global warming on the
AIDS quilt.
Dennis Miller
Passion for destruction is also a creative passion.
Slacker
Passion, though a bad regulator, is a powerful spring.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Peace is much more precious than a piece of land.
Anwar Sadat
Peace is not an absence of war, it is a virtue, a state of mind, a
disposition for benevolence, confidence, justice.
Barnel Spinoza
Peace is the ideal deduced from the fact that there have been
interludes between wars.
Jerry Pournelle
Peculiar travel suggestions are dancing lessons from God.
Bokonon
That which does not freak us out, makes us stronger.
Woody McCandlish
That which does not kill us makes us hungry.
Lord Corun
That which does not kill us makes us stronger.
Friedrich Nietzsche
That was pretty acrobatic. You managed to kiss your own ass.
Richard Goodman
That which does not kill me is surely defective and should be
returned to the manufacturer for replacement.
Anu Kapoor
That was so funny, I just shot milk out my nose. Which is strange,
because I am not drinking milk right now.
Jeff Magnuson
That was ZEN... this is TAO.
Peter da Silva
That kind of shuts down the brain stem.
David Letterman
That Rifkin guy is an animal.
Howard Stern
That scene last night where they were shovelling the dogs into the
furnace was truly priceless.
John Dobbin
That was Zen. This is Tao.
Peter da Silva
That was three days ago, a while back.
Rohit Khare
Thank God for fools. Without them, none of us would succeed.
Mark Twain
Thank you for your total obedience and heartfelt submission.
Clifford Low
That song makes me want to knock something over.
Butt-head
That tense is imperfect. Being present would make it perfect.
Adam Rifkin
That was my destiny and you cheated me out of it.
Forrest Gump
That was a bad year for whine.
Adam Rifkin
That makes no cents. I thought it was decent. So begins my descent. Adam Rifkin
That man is cynical with a capital sin.
Bostom Common
Tat tuam asi. Thou art that.
Assorted eastern
philosophers
Tally me banana. Daylight come and me wanna go home.
Day O
tcl me elmo
QJ
Taunting death is only fun until you lose.
Andrew Potratz
Tandem Computers are amazingly fault-tolerant... they let me work Maddi Hausmann
here.
That men do not learn very much from history is the most important Aldous Huxley
of all the lessons that history has to teach.
That is the sort of English up with which I will not put.
Winston Churchill
That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at
you.
A. Whitney Brown
That homosexuality has been a natural condition of kings,
composers, engineers, poets, housewives, and bus drivers, and that
it has contributed more than its share of beauty and laughter to an
ugly and ungrateful world should be obvious to anyone who is
willing to peer beneath the surface.
Martin Greif
That is why I have failed where others have succeeded.
Jacques Clouseau
That man is richest whose pleasures are cheapest.
Thoreau
That requires zero thinkstroms of thought.
Jan L.A. van de
Snepscheut
TeX is cool. I mean, if it had legs and breasts, it would be a clfsv or Len Lanphar
something.
Sugar substitute... dandruff... for milk, saliva... for coffee, mud...
Blackadder IV
Such grudges. Give us a kiss, Worf.
Q
Successful and fortunate crime is called virtue.
Lucius Annaeus Seneca
Suicide gave Heather depth, Kurt a soul, Ram a brain.
Heathers
Suicide is not abominable because God forbids it. God forbids it
because it is abominable.
Immanuel Kant
Summer afternoon, summer afternoon... to me those have always
been the two most beautiful words in the English language.
Henry James
Summer has filled her veins with light and her heart is washed with C. Day Lewis
noon.
Summer is ready when you are.
the Breeders
Summit meetings tend to be like panda matings. The expectations
are always high, and the results are usually disappointing.
Robert Orben
Support your local medical examiner. Die strangely.
Nikki Gustas
suck message order out of. to read frustrating makes messages.
Scott Berkun
Sun Microsystems. A Step Ahead of Your Cows.
John Byrnes
Take the L out of the world and all you have is a word.
Pavement
Thanks for the Mammories.
baby to mother
That a majority should be able to compel others to live in their kind Herman Rubin
of world is specifically what those who founded our country did not
believe in.
That ... is truly fucking sick and disgusting. And coming from me, I Martin Frankel
think that really means something.
That aged looking kid in the back of the class was actually Rupert
Murdoch. There is no conspiracy.
Dan Martinez
Tennis is irrelevant.
Bjorn Borg
Testes, testes, one, two, three... huh huh... Score one for the Secret
Cervix.
Butt-head
That book was so good, it had me on the edge of my feet.
Thanh Boyer
Thanks for reading this far. You now have a real insight into my
personality.
Sutherford Bryon
Thank you very little.
Chevy Chase
Thanks to the technical marvel of desktop publishing, clueless
people will now have the benefit of my immense wisdom.
Dogbert
Thank you, drive through please...
Beavis
TCFA. Too cool for acronyms. For you acronymphomaniacs.
Kate Clinton
Taxes are what we pay for civilized society.
Oliver Wendell Holmes,
Jr.
Politics is show business for ugly people.
Jay Leno
Poor Inferno, condemned to technological purgatory.
Adam Rifkin
Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even
to be defeated.
Will Rogers
Poor boys and pilgrims and families and we are going to Graceland. Paul Simon
Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come Ronald Reagan
to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
Prediction is very difficult, especially of the future.
Niels Bohr
Prejudice is the child of ignorance.
William Hazlitt
Politics is the entertainment branch of industry.
Frank Zappa
Politics is war without bloodshed while war is politics with
bloodshed.
Mao Tse-Tung
Political theater needs more theater and less politics.
Rohit Khare
Politically Incorrect
and damn proud of it
Positions are for hockey players.
H. Ross Perot
Pot is like a gang of bandits in your brain. They wait for thoughts to Kevin Rooney
come down the road, then tie them up and trash them.
Pot. Kettle. Event horizon.
Dan Martinez
Political journalism in America has always been more akin to
stenography than inquiry.
John R. MacArthur
Political power flows from the barrel of a gun.
Mao Tse-tung
Politicians are like diapers. They need changing every so often and
for much the same reason.
H. Ross Perot
Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the
tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel.
John Quinton
Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge
even where there is no river.
Nikita Khrushchev
Precious and few are the moments we two can share.
Carpenters
Practice yourself what you preach.
Titus Maccius Plautus
Praise does wonders for the sense of hearing.
Bits and Pieces
Power Users believe computer salesmen.
Richard Murnane
Power corrupts. Absolute power really turns on the chicks.
Jeff Mink
Practice makes perverts.
Adam Rifkin
Practice makes perfect, perfect is a fault and fault lines change.
REM
Plaintiff Wile E. Coyote is a citizen of Arizona. Defendant Acme is Scott Berger
a Delaware corporation whose products are sold by mail order in
every state in the nation. Plaintiff seeks damages for injuries caused
by defects in an extensive list of products purchased from
Defendant for use in his profession of predator.
Practically perfect in every way.
Mary Poppins
Practical people would be more practical if they would take a little
more time for dreaming.
J. P. McEvoy
Prayer does not change God, but it changes him who prays.
Soren Kierkegaard
Prejudice is the reason of fools.
Voltaire
Prepare to be assimilated dahling.
Zsa Zsa of Borg
Prepare to die like a man, Baldrick... Or as close as you can come to Blackadder
a man without actually shaving the palms of your hands.
Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power, corrupts absolutely.
Great men are almost always bad men.
Lord Acton
Power is Me sneaking into your home through a wire.
Todd Rungren
Power is the means, not the end. Secure it first, then get on with
your ends. Just see that the means do not BECOME the ends.
Piers Anthony
Popular consensus says that reality is based on popular consensus.
Rich Rosen
Talk radio is a carnival... an amusement show. Fancy parades as
Peter Laufer
fact. Uninformed opinion is championed as thoughtful commentary.
Groundless innuendo gets the same respect as investigative
journalism. Hate is heralded as a valid response to problems.
Take your work seriously but yourself lightly.
C.W. Metcalf
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
Euripides
Talking and saying nothing is an art I have not mastered.
Jerry Maguire
Talking and eloquence are not the same.
Ben Jonson
Talking much about oneself can also be a means to conceal oneself. Friedrich Nietzsche
Taking the bull by the horns is often a sound course of action... as
long as you and the bull agree on when you can let go.
Robert Fuoss
Talk of revolution is one of avoiding reality.
J.K. Galbraith
Television is to news as bumperstickers are to philosophy.
Richard M. Nixon
TCP is more exciting than UDP, and the way you know that is by
the size of the header.
a CMU computer science
professor
Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.
Laurie Anderson
Take what you can use and let the rest go by.
Ken Kesey
Take up smoking. Jaywalk. Play with blasting caps. Swim right
after a big meal. Stick something small in your ear. Take your
choice of dangerous activity, and do it with gusto. Future
generations will thank you.
Lawrence A. Bullis
Take time to deliberate, but when the time for action arrives, stop
thinking and go in.
Andrew Jackson
Take this card. Call if you have danger or boredom. Do NOT call
the zip code.
The Flaming Carrot
Take the red line north. DONT GO SOUTH. SOUTH IS BAD.
Ian Konen explains the
finer points of Chicago
travel
Television is a medium of entertainment which permits millions of
people to listen to the same joke at the same time, and yet remain
lonesome.
T.S. Eliot
Television is a medium, so called because it is neither rare nor well
done.
Ernie Kovacs
Technological progress has merely provided us with more efficient
means for going backwards.
Aldous Huxley
Technology is useless without art.
Sam Greenfield
Technology makes it possible to have our appendices out when they Neal Stephenson
get infected, so that we are able to live long enough to get our heads
out of our asses and learn about the world.
Technology is so helpful and powerful... until someone trips over
the electrical cord.
Travis Collins
Poor taste leads to crime.
Arthur Conan Doyle
Popularity is the hallmark of mediocrity.
Frasier
Porsche... for men who want to get jobs from women they hardly
know.
Crazy People
Tell the truth and run.
Yugoslav proverb
Tell me whom you love and I will tell you what you are.
Arsene Houssage
Tell me the words I might have ate.
Green Day
Tell me more about these habits.
Beverly
Television is the first truly democratic culture --- the first culture
available to everybody and entirely governed by what the people
want. The most terrifying thing is what the people do want.
Clive Barnes
Television is chewing gum for the eyes.
Frank Lloyd Wright
Technically it is a proper usage. The least common, most worthless
usage, but still acceptable.
Scott Potter
Photons have neither morals or visas.
David Farber
Physical toughness will make your opponent weaken, mental
Vince Lombardi
toughness will make him crack.
Quoth the raven, eat my shorts.
Bart Simpson
Questions are a burden for others. Answers are a prison for oneself. The Prisoner
Questions are not a rejection of prior beliefs. They are merely a
backup of an existing hypothesis.
Sean Tompkins
Question with boldness even the existence of a God, because, if
there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason than
that of blindfolded fear.
Thomas Jefferson
Reason can answer questions, but imagination has to ask them.
Ralph Gerard
Reboot your machine. Do not reboot your machine.
NT error message
Reasoning by metaphor is crap. Reasoning by analogy is like crap.
My what a big pathetic fallacy you have.
Wayne Baisley
Recollection is the only paradise from which we cannot be turned
out.
Jean Paul Richter
Randomly shooting Intel employees would still upset them, even if
they were assured that their odds of being shot were not high.
Kurt Glaeseman
Rats. I thought I could make an easy four bucks.
Calvin
Reach high, for stars lie hidden in your soul. Dream deep, for every Pamela Starr
dream precedes the goal.
Reader, imagine you were an idiot. And imagine you were a
member of Congress. But I repeat myself.
Mark Twain
Read my lips...
George H. W. Bush
Read. Learn. Evolve.
talk.bizarre credo
Reading comp.sys.powerpc would distract me from my sword duty
of doing algorithms, graphics and being whined at by Josh.
Anu Kapoor
Reading legal mush can turn your brain to guacamole
Amiga ROM Kernel
Manual
Ray, a man unburdened by the rigors of coherent thought.
George Heinz
quotesfile that. after you dump her.
Joshua Schachter
Real programmers can write assembly code in any language.
Larry Wall
Real men do not commit suicide. Real men know just how much
life sucks. Real men grit their teeth and take it bill after bill, war
after war, tumor after tumor.
Denis Leary
Real men put quiche in their pipe and smoke it.
Sean Simmons
Sex is emotion in motion.
Mae West
Senility might be fun. I think it will be a very smooth transition for
me.
Megan Coughlin
Seg fault. Core dump. Machine panic. Lost contact with all afs file
Sam Greenfield
servers. WAR BREAKS OUT. THE SUN EXPLODES.
MERHABIAN SHAVES HIS MUSTACHE.
Sex is good, but not as good as fresh sweet corn.
Garrison Keillor
Sex is just the sublimation of the math urge.
David Wald
Sex is not dentistry, the slick filling of aches and cavities.
Margaret Atwood
See, two less phosphors had to die to display that.
John Dobbin
Seeing that the criminal justice system was not defending my rights, Chris Esko
I released myself into my own custody.
Send lawyers, guns, and money...
Warren Zevon
Self is the only prison that can bind the soul.
Henry van Dyke
Sex builds no roads, writes no novels, and sex certainly gives no
meaning to anything in life but itself.
Gore Vidal
Reality is futile. You will be distorted.
Ernest Prabhakar
Reality is just a group hunch.
Frank Zappa
Reality is a special case.
David Nicol
Reality is a sandwich I did not order.
Zippy the Pinhead
Reality is frequently inaccurate.
Douglas Adams
Refined sugar is gonna be a tough one to crack.
Adam Rifkin
Reality keeps ruining my life.
Calvin
Real Swaraj will come, not by the acquisition of authority by a few, Mahatma Gandhi
but by the acquisition of the capacity by all to resist authority when
it is abused.
Realism became an outmoded literary mode when no one, from the
Warren Commission to Oliver Stone, was able to provide us with a
plausible account of the assasination of President Kennedy. This
freed us to notice that no one had ever given us a plausible account
of WWI either.
Karen Joy Fowler
Reality continues to ruin my life.
Calvin
Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of caffeine.
Fred Green
Seven, seven... no tomorrow.
Violent Femmes
Serving it up hot, baby. Yo baybee. Final Four baby. Seven sevenfooters. South of the border baby.
Michael Patrick
impersonates Dick Vitale
Set the cart before the horse.
John Heywood
Seven years of college down the drain...
Animal House
Seven schools in seven states and the only thing different is my
locker combination.
Heathers
Read this if you are a site designer. Do not read it if you are prone
David Siegel
to sending long flaming e-mail messages.
Religion and sex are power plays, manipulate the people for the
money they pay. Selling sin, selling God, the numbers look the
same on the credit cards.
Queensryche
Religion has done love a great service by making it a sin.
Anatole France
Remember who I was, and not who I might have been.
Vivian Lee
RELAX. HAVE SOME DIP.
George Carlin
Relationships would be so much simpler if people just changed
color with their mood.
Sarah Young
Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich.
Napoleon
Relative calm is expected in South Central Los Angeles for the next Weekend Update
several weeks, as looters stay home and try to program their new
VCRs.
Relationships like rehab, are for quitters.
Tim Byars
Remember, folks, fine print makes fine reading...
Robert S. Thau
Remember, Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but she
did it backwards and in high heels.
Faith Whittlesey
RETIRED PROFESSOR SEEKING semi-attractive, semiintelligent lady, with no cultural pretensions.
classified ad in the
National Review.
Romance is dead. It was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark Lisa Simpson
and Disney.
Romance is in movies and books. Real love is hard work.
Adam Rifkin
Remember that all worlds draw to and end and that noble death is a
treasure which no one is too poor to buy.
C.S. Lewis
Remember, grasshopper, your most dangerous enemy is yourself.
The issue is not so much what you COULD do with any of these
opportunities, the issue is what WILL you do.
Ernie Prabhakar
Remember, high-tech means breaks down next week, while cutting
edge means breaks down this afternoon.
Bruce Sterling
Remember that happiness and satisfaction come from within, not
from without.
Adam Rifkin
Remember that the party platform is like the running board on your
car, something to get in on, not something to stand on.
William Crosman
RESISTENCE IS FUTILE....
The Borg
Remembering is for those who have forgotten.
Chinese proverb
Resistance is futile... Life as you know it is over. From this day
forward, YOU will service... US.
Locutus of Borg
Respectfully submitted for your perusal.
Twilight Zone
Restaurants Beef Up Vegetarian Menus.
Wall Street Journal
Remember, this is for posterity, so please, be honest.
The Princess Bride
Remember, there are ways of succeeding that we would not
personally have chosen.
Bjarne Stroustrup
Remember, the strong get funded...the weak get jobs. As it should
be.
Bob McKisson
Religion makes no sense because it tries to reconcile the
inconceivable, explain the unexplainable, and achieve the
unachievable.
Adam Rifkin
Remember, statisticians are nothing but mathematicians broken
down by age and sex.
Martin Frankel
Republicans understand the importance of bondage between mother Dan Quayle
and child.
Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a
mother and child.
Vice President Dan Quayle
Republicans are using borrowed money to criticize Democrats for
overspending.
Jay Leno
Remember, the Christmas Spirit is not what you drink.
Ian Anderson
Ride that wave, then wave the ride goodbye.
Adam Rifkin
Rick Steiner is so stupid, he once stayed up all night to study for a
urine test.
Jim Cornette
Revenge is best served cold... It is very cold in space.
Kahn
Revisionist history usually begins during the IPO.
Eugene Kleiner
Right-handers go over there, left-handers go over there, the rest of
you, come with me.
Yogi Berra
Right, because not everyone likes in ON the cake because it makes
it very soggy.
When Harry Met Sally
Right now, your memory is growing while your life is shrinking.
Van Halen
Right now, science is building a better tomato.
Van Halen
Right now, oysters are being robbed of their sole possession.
Van Halen
Right now the Internet gives an awfully good imitation of providing Vernor Vinge
superhuman intelligence capability, both in terms of the total
hardware that is out there and the fact that the Net has all these
human-equivalent peripheral devices called users that can be
appropriated in a distributed way to attack problems.
Richard Nixon, scum of the earth, was buried with honors in the
land of his birth.
Michael Swaine
Roe versus Wade are alternative methods for crossing the Potomac. Dan Quayle
Rohit puts the HELL in Helvetica.
Adam Rifkin
Rowing goes along with boolean ORs.
Paul Reynolds
Ronald Reagan is the Fred Astaire of foot-in-mouth disease.
Jeff Davis
Rock and roll is the hamburger that ate the world.
Peter York
Rock... hard place... me...
Friends
Row F. Ahead of the Gs, hobnobbing with the Ds and Es.
Seinfeld
Richard can suck my Richard recursively.
Adam Rifkin
Ronald Reagan was the greatest president of the twentieth century.
Rush Limbaugh
Rose-colored glasses are never made in bifocals. Nobody wants to
read the small print in dreams.
Ann Landers
rugby makes you sweaty and gay. sometimes the two are more
related than you might think.
May Jawdat
Science is a differential equation. Religion is a boundary condition.
Alan Turing
Science is moving closer to weaponry, and Art is moving closer to
commercialism. And never the twain shall meet.
Frank Zappa
People want to know how much you care before they care how
much you know.
James F. Hind
People who achieve mastery have the ability to be outrageous.
Gita Bellin
Science is one thing and Wisdom is another. Science is an edged
tool, with which men play like children, and cut their own fingers.
Thomas Love Peacock
Scientists in New Guinea have discovered a culture whose members Kevin Knight
communicate exclusively through the use of plan files.
Schools focus too much on problem students.
H. Ross Perot
Science has proof without any certainty. Creationists have certainty Ashley Montague
without any proof.
Science does not promise absolute truth, nor does it consider that
such a thing necessarily exists. Science does not even promise that
everything in the Universe is amenable to the scientific process.
Isaac Asimov
People think love is an emotion. Love is good sense.
Ken Kesey
People say that everyone has a few skeletons in their closet. Not
R.M. Weiner
me. Well, not yet anyway. I mean, the bodies are still decomposing.
People should get beat up for stating their beliefs.
They Might be Giants
People who deal with bits should expect to get bitten.
Jon Bentley
People should be aware of the dangers of killing themselves.
TIME magazine
People tell me one thing one day and out the other.
Joshua Schachter
People who are modest usually have reason to be.
Adam Rifkin
People only see what they are prepared to see.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
People say crazy stuff during sex. One time I called this girl mom.
Clerks
Science may have found a cure for most evils, but it has found no
remedy for the worst of them all... apathy of human beings.
Helen Keller
Sealing himself in a ziploc bag would work too, but there are
logistical problems with that.
John Dobbin
Second word sounds like dance.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
scalable enterprise ennui for the new millenium
Brad Barkett
Saying there is one true religion is like saying there is one true cup,
when the world is filled with water.
Ann Clark
Seattle is a state of mind, not just a state of the union.
Michelle Morrell
Security, get that floozy off my bridge.
Picard
Security is a process, not a product.
Bruce Schneier
Security for Unix is like Mutitasking for MS-DOS
Kevin Lockwood
See the worst, but look at the best.
Lord Robert Baden-Powell
Saying a database is ODBC-compliant is like saying Titanic is a
VHS-compliant movie.
Ken North
Savior and Destroyer, Mirror of Life and Death.
Terry Brooks
Science, as actually practiced, is a complex dialogue between data
and preconceptions.
Steven Jay Gould
Scientists are learning something that many of us have suspected
Dave Barry
for a long time, namely that the universe is made up almost entirely
of dirt. More and more, scientists are suspecting that the Big Bang
was in fact the explosion of a small but very densely packed
vacuum cleaner bag.
Scientists are peeping toms at the Keyhole of Eternity.
Arthur Koestler
SCCS, the source motel. Programs check in and never check out.
Ken Thompson
Scarred for Life. No compensation. Private Investigation.
Mark Knopfler
Say what you will about the Ten Commandments, you must always H.L. Mencken
come back to the pleasant fact that there are only ten of them.
People who take issue with control of population do not understand H. Kendall
that if it is not done in a gracefull way, nature will do it in a brutal
fashion.
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of
thought which they avoid.
Kierkegaard
People deny reality. They fight against real feelings caused by real
circumstances. They build mental worlds of shoulds, oughts, and
might-have-beens. Real changes begin with real appraisal and
acceptance of what is. Then realistic action is possible.
David Reynolds
People forget how fast you did a job, but they remember how well
you did it.
Howard Newton
People fear to offend or hurt others, not because they are kind but
because they do not care for the truth.
Susan Sontag
People in networked markets have figured out that they get far
better information and support from a rock than from most Linux
distributors.
Joshua Nowell
People look better under arrest,...it gives you an aggressive fashion
look.
John Waters
People like that I generally have the urge to deal with by thrusting
reality in their face as bluntly as possible, and then beating them
about the head with it.
Sean Simmons
Personally, I think BASIC is superior because it has a longer name
than C or LISP, Pascal and Scheme have lower-case letters, and
FORTRAN just basically sucks.
Andrew Stellman
Pessimism never won any battle.
Dwight D. Eisenhower
Pessimism is only the name that men of weak nerves give to
wisdom.
Elbert Hubbard
Philadelphia is not dull
it just seems so because it
is next to exciting Camden,
New Jersey.
PHENOMINAL COSMIC POWER... itty bitty living space.
Aladdin
People have been trained to be stupid. They need a word-checker to Harlan Ellison
spell, they need a titular watch to tell time, and they need a
goddamn PC to give them their sex and their community.
People who like this sort of thing will find this the sort of thing they Abraham Lincoln
like.
People are stupid, and the small consolation we get from the
understanding that they will all die does not make the enduring of
the present any brighter.
Richard Bullington
People who want to share their religious views with you almost
never want you to share yours with them.
Dave Barry
People who think for a living have always been especially prone to
confuse thinking with living.
G. L. Sicherman
People who fight fire with fire with fire usually end up with ashes.
Abigail Van Buren
People who get nostalgic about childhood were obviously never
children.
Calvin
People can be very frightened of change.
Kirk STVI
People are always looking for things to do to pass the time that
would pass anyway.
Samuel Beckett
People have to go out of their mind before they can come to their
senses.
Timothy Leary
People catch worms to go fishing. People eat fish that just ate
Dogbert
worms. There is definitely a wasted step here.
Penalty for premature evacuation.
Reality Bites
People are stupid. ALL THE TIME.
Paul Mazaitis
People are usually more convinced by reasons they discover
themselves than by those found by others.
Blaise Pascal
People are always making rules for themselves and always finding
loopholes.
William Rotsler
Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature ... Life is Helen Keller
either a daring adventure or nothing.
Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do Helen Keller
the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no
safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring
adventure, or nothing.
She treats me like I got a bad case of smallcox.
Rugburns
she suffers for her art, and now we can too.
Faisal Jawdat
She uses tired cliches like coasters... a place to rest her mind before
picking it up and using it again.
Janet Schwind
She tasted like cigarettes.
Forrest Gump
She told me not to mess around, but I done let the deal go down.
George Thorogood
she turned out to be an actual budweiser girl. ...we had an
Owen Davis
interesting conversation. Not scintillating, but it kept me from being
rude and focusing on her breasts.
Sex is the most fun I ever had without laughing.
Woody Allen
Sex. In America, an obsession. In other parts of the world, a fact.
Marlene Dietrich
Shameless nymphomania is hard to get tired of.
John Dobbin
Shades of grey wherever I go. The more I find out, the less I know.
Billy Joel
Sex... to save the friendship.
Seinfeld
SGI sold out to Microsoft and all I got was a lousy Farenheit t-shirt. Martin Frankel
Shame is the feeling you have when you agree with the woman who Carl Sandburg
loves you that you are the man she thinks you are.
She was the world and I was on top.
C and C Music Factory
She was no stranger to sin. She was no stranger to anyone.
Sister Act
Self-development is a higher duty than self-sacrifice.
Elizabeth Cady Stanton
Sex is the biggest nothing of all time.
Andy Warhol
Sex is the mathematics urge sublimated.
M. C. Reed.
Self-denial is the shining sore on the leprous body of Christianity.
Oscar Wilde
Self-esteem is such a fragile thing, truly immune to reason.
Rohit Khare
Sendmail is, shall we say, unique. Some people say that a monkey
would bang out the complete works of Shakespeare on a typewriter
give an unlimited amount of time. In the meantime, what they
would probably produce is a valid sendmail configuration file.
Nicholas Petreley
Sendmail is my life. Sendmail sucks. Therefore, my life sucks.
Nick Cuccia
Send me some jokes. The grosser, the better. Road kills would be
nice.
Rumman Gaffur
Sending e-mail is simply sending garbage at the speed of light.
Deborah Daw
Send them illegal copies of things they own the copyright on. This
is like stealing pens from a police station.
John Dobbin
Self-esteem is the basis of any real democracy.
Gloria Steinem
Self-esteem is the reputation we acquire within ourselves.
Nathaniel Branden
She left her sex appeal in her diapers.
Howard Stern
She lives all alone on a dark and windy street in a room at the top of Leo Kottke
the stairs. She smokes cigarettes and stares at the wall not knowing
that my heart lives there.
She knows Jesus, John Lennon, and Cobain, personally.
Sheryl Crow
She was sending me more mixed signals than a dyslexic third-base
coach.
Jack Bross
She was so glad to see me go, that I have almost a mind to come
again, that she may again have the same pleasure.
Samuel Johnson
She holds the hand that holds her down. She will rise.
Pearl Jam
She is descended from a long line that her mother listened to.
Gypsy Rose Lee
She looks so good, she makes a dead man come.
Tom Waits
She is not refined. She is not unrefined. She keeps a parrot.
Mark Twain
She is the only woman in France who makes me forget I am a
sextagenarian.
King Louis XV on
Madame du Barry
She finds you crusty.
Encino Man
Sacred cows make the best hamburger.
Mark Twain
Satisfaction is hard, satisfiability is merely NP-hard.
Rohit Khare
Satanic Verses is a despicable book that could not have been written Orson Scott Card
by a person who wished to behave decently and responsibly.
Save the planet and kill yourself.
Bloodhound Gang
Sashimi Camarilla. Covert fish eating activities. Route some unagi
my way.
Cameo Wood
Rush Limbaugh is like a shopping cart with a broken wheel. No
matter where you put him, he drifts to the right.
Dennis Miller
Ruling a country is like cooking a small fish.
Lao-tzu
Scratch most feminists and underneath there is a woman who longs
to be a sex object. The difference is that isnot all she longs to be.
Betty Rollin
Scrambled eggs, oh my baby how I love your legs.
Paul McCartney
Scotty, we need shields in the next three seconds, or we all die.
Sean Simmons
Save water
bathe with a friend.
Save the energy for important things, like ending world hunger or
finding the next Nirvana.
Samantha Crouse
Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off
during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.
Dave Barry
See, I have two different sets of notes here, his and mine. And
looking at his notes is enough to send someone into an alternate
universe.
Hugh Young
See, I am just a frustrated artist. The sex urge feeds into the art urge Nathan Loofborrow
which feeds into the computing urge. So I have a need to program a
ray tracer to fulfill the previous two levels of abstration.
Shared pain is lessened, shared joy increased.
Erik Bloomquist
She got the goldmine. I got the shaft. We split it right down the
middle, and she got the better half.
Jerry Reed
She had lost the art of conversation, but not, unfortunately, the
power of speech.
George Bernard Shaw
She had nothing left to say, so she said she loved me... and I stood
there greatful for the lie.
Gin Blossoms
Sag Niemals Nie. Never Say Never.
John Dobbin
Sample of alt.angst for your delectation.
Robert Harley
Some people are born on third base and go through life thinking
they hit a triple.
Barry Switzer
Some have learnt many Tricks of sly Evasion, Instead of Truth they Benjamin Franklin
use Equivocation, And eke it out with mental Reservation, Which is
to good Men an Abomination.
Some of the things must be believed to be seen.
Ralph Hodgeson
Some of us pump, and some of us slump.
Encino Man
Some of this technology is so advanced you need a fifth-grader just
to understand it.
Dan Rather
Some of these were more or less randomly selected in my zeal to
fill the machine.
John Dobbin
Some folks never exaggerate... They just remember big.
Audrey Snead
Some people pay a compliment as if they expect a receipt.
Kin Hubbard
Some people play hard to get. I play hard to want.
Ford Fairlane
Some people never find it, some people only pretend, but I just
want to live happily ever after, now and then.
Jimmy Buffett
Some people can stay longer in an hour than others can in a week.
William Dean Howells
Some people like my advice so much that they frame it upon the
wall instead of using it.
Gordon R. Dickson
Some people know the price of everything and the value of nothing. Oscar Wilde
Some intellectuals have a problem with the choices others make.
They naturally assume that they know better and their choices
should prevail. I believe Lenin had a similar perspective...
Rick Rashid
Some dudes ackshully freeze their sperm. Beavis prefers to make
his fresh daily.
Butt-head
Some jerk infected the Internet with an outright lie. It shows how
easy it is to do and how credulous people are.
Kurt Vonnegut
Some men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not Henry David Thoreau
the fish they are after.
Some men give up their designs when they have almost reached the Polybius
goal, while others, on the contrary, obtain a victory by exerting at
the last moment more vigorous efforts than before.
Statistics prove that in the United States more Americans are killed
in automobile accidents than are killed by buffalo.
Art Buchwald
Statistics are like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive but what
they conceal is vital.
Aaron Levenstein
Stare into the subliminal for as long as you can.
They Might Be Giants
Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a
system of government
Monty Python
Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from
indomitable will.
Jawharlal Nehru
Strangely enough, this is the past that somebody in the future is
longing to go back to.
Ashleigh Brilliant
Strictly Ballroom is a quality I look for when purchasing pants.
Adam Rifkin
Strange as it may seem, my life is based on a true story.
Ashleigh Brilliant
Strange to find the calendar my enemy and scared that when I die so Toad the Wet Sprocket
will the things I think about.
State your business. Avoid eye contact. Leave quietly, and no one
will get hurt.
University Office Wall
Statistics are human beings with the tear wiped off.
Paul Brodeur
Stamina huff and puff. Bowels regular.
John Dobbin
Staccato signals of constant information, a loose affiliation of
millionaires and billionaires and baby...
Paul Simon
Stable is a very relative term around here...
Linda Branagan
Stalinism begins at home.
Tom Neff
Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces, while handicapped people Denis Leary
make handicapped faces.
Sometimes cool bands have to play songs that suck to get chicks.
Butt-head
Sometimes a guy just likes his skin to look its yellowest.
Homer Simpson
Sometimes I feel like a pelican because everywhere I turn there is
this enormous bill on front of me.
Blackadder III
Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world.
Lily Tomlin
Sometimes I think more creativity is put into muffin recipes than
into the rest of society combined.
Seinfeld
Sometimes I think we need to kill everyone in control and just set
up new standards for society to live by. Then I realize what a
ridiculous thought this is, as history has proven.
Adam Rifkin
Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
Sigmund Freud
Sometimes you just have to do something bad, just to know your
alive.
Northern Exposure
Sometimes you have to act like a wus and stuff to get chicks.
Butt-head
Sometimes you just have to look reality in the eye and deny it.
Garrison Keillor
Sometimes I just like to sit on shore next to the pond and stare off
across the water. Then after the beer runs out, I like to pee in the
weeds and track mud on the living room carpet.
Lev L. Spiro
Sometimes I give myself the creeps.
Green Day
Sometimes I get the urge to break into the post office at night and
lick all the stamps. Then I would see how long I can stick to the
wall by my tongue.
Scott Adams
Sometimes I get morning wood in the late afternoon.
Butt-head
Software is about getting things working. It is not about pretending
to be a math guy.
Robert Rodgers
Software is to computers as yeast is to dough.
Chuck Bradshaw
So, my brother is human after all.
Robert Picard
So, Mr. Nahasapeemapetilon, if that is your real name...
Lionel Hutz crossexamines Appu
Some people are too big, some people are too small, some people
are just right... But they talk too much.
Grandmother Lisenbee
Some people call it abuse, but I call it just being nice.
Howard Stern as Michael
Jackson
Society nods its head at any horror the American teenager can think Heathers
to bring upon itself.
Some cities die very fast, others very slow. Ask Leningrad who was The Singer
more blest, they envied Hiroshima for her fireball from the west.
Some books make me want to go adventuring, others feel that they
have saved me the trouble.
Ashley Brilliant
SOFTWARE
formal evening attire for
female computer analysts.
Software Engineering is a contact sport.
Dan Lovinger
Some day you will ache like I ache.
Courtney Love
Solutions are not the answer.
Richard Nixon
Some are born to sweet delight, some are born to endless night.
William Blake
Stop me before I subreference again.
Dennis Miller
Sticks and stones may break our bones, but words will break our
hearts.
Robert Fulghum
Sign me up for enuui. Or not. Whatever.
Fleur Dragan
Silence is the most perfect expression of scorn.
George Bernard Shaw
Silence like a cancer grows, hear my words that I might teach you,
take my arms that I might reach you ...
Paul Simon
Silence is a friend who will never betray.
Confucius
Silence is so accurate.
Mark Rothko
Silence is better than unmeaning words.
Pythagoras
Specialization is for insects.
John Prevost
Speaking of sucking, I really need to be able to telnet from my
Sprint Spectrum. Grrr...
Richard Bullington
Speak softly and own a big, mean Doberman.
Dave Millman
Spring being a tough act to follow, God created June.
Al Berstein
Spagnum moss in toes makes you happy.
Jeannine Busick
Spelling is hard because English is a slut of a language. I blame the
Norman conquest.
Andrew Plotkin
Spend enough time confirming the need and the need will disapear.
The Beancounter Creed
SPARC has the low work-per-instruction of a simple RISC and Sun Robert Rodgers
adds enough difficult features to achieve the low clock frequency of
a traditional CISC implementation.
Shut up, Beatrice.
Butt-head
Since prehistoric man, no battle has ever gone as planned.
D. Graeme
Singapore is an astonishingly efficient and repressive hyper-modern William Gibson
state, like Disneyland with death penalties.
Sir Stafford Cripps has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices Winston Churchill
I admire.
Sitting on a cornflake, waiting for the van to come.
the Beatles
Sir, you SOUND crosseyed.
Howard Stern
Sir. There is a green, multi-legged creature crawling on your
shoulder...
Mr. Spock
Shut up, kid.
Guinan
Shut the fsck up.
Robert Linnemann
Shy Fruiter and the Saplings would be a great name for a rock band. Dave Barry
Silentium, stultorum virtus. Silence is the virtue of fools.
Francis Bacon
Shut up. Just shut up. You had me at Hello.
Jerry Maguire
Shyeah, sending email is always a sign of courage.
Nathan Loofborrow
Spiderman should be mandatory reading for the papacy.
John Dobbin
Souninge in mortal vertu was his speche, and gladly wolde he lerne, Geoffrey Chaucer
and gladly teche.
Sounds like a helix in the fabric of the cosmos.
Adam Rifkin
Stir it with your thumb, man. Lumberjack latte.
Mack Rhinelander
Sounds like a deficiency in proficiency to me.
Adam Rifkin
Space is bounded by its own curvature, but stupidity extends
beyond infinity.
Severian
Space is big. Really big.
Douglas Adams
Stimpy, your wealth of ignorance astounds me.
Ren Hoek
Steve Jobs has said that Xwindows is brain-damaged and will
disappear in two years. He got it half right.
Dennis Ritchie
Still edible, change your shirt.
Jerry Maguire
Still stings these shattered nerves. Pigs, we get what pigs deserve.
Nine Inch Nails
Still waters run deep.
Hudsucker Proxy
Stop being so... testosterony...
Friends
Stone thrown in river. A realization ripples. So it means nothing.
Ann Marie Clark
Space is almost infinite. As a matter of fact we think it is infinite.
Dan Quayle
sorry about your computer trauma - this is why i work with peopleno one expects them to work correctly.
Christy Regenhardt
Sorry, my thing was in there with me.
Friends
Sorry if I was a little... rambunctious...
Adam Rifkin
Spiral my ass. More like freefall.
John Dobbin
Sorry if I assaulted any open wounds.
Adam Rifkin
Spinning is an early sign of drug abuse, you know.
Megan Coughlin
Sorry about the mess.
Han Solo
Sorry about the hand.
Jerry Maguire
Sorry about that Chief
Maxwell Smart
Soylent Green is made out of people.
Charlton Heston
SONY - because Caucasians are just too damned tall.
Crazy People
Son, you got a panty on yer head.
Raising Arizona
Sometimes you need a volcano to light a match.
Miami Rhapsody
Men, like bullets, go farthest when they are smoothest.
Jean Paul Richter
Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.
Rita Rudner
Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super Rita Rudner
heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up
identifying with Barbie.
Men become civilized, not in proportion to their willingness to
believe, but in their readiness to doubt.
H.L. Mencken
Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the
last log does not burn, he will take it personally.
Rita Rudner
Men do not stumble over mountains, but over molehills.
Confucious
Men freely believe that what they wish to desire.
Julius Caesar
Mental hopscotch, close your eyes and count to ten.
Missing Persons
Men willingly believe what they wish.
Julius Caesar
May your head fall off at an awkward moment.
Blackadder
Men were made big, and small. Samuel Colt made them all equal.
Now, Gaston Glock has made some better than others.
Dave Wiggins
Maturity is only a short break in adolescence.
Jules Feiffer
Men were born to lie, and women to believe them.
John Gay
Men trust their ears less than their eyes.
Herodotus
Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.
Dorothy Parker
Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.
Rita Rudner
Men wear underpants until they disintegrate into vapor.
Jerry Seinfeld
Men who can eat anything they want and not gain weight should do Rita Rudner
it out of sight of women.
Men do less than they ought, unless they do all that they can.
Thomas Carlyle
Men can be analyzed, women... merely adored.
Oscar Wilde
Microsoft, more money than brains.
Tim Byars
Microsoft is now talking about the digital nervous system. I guess I
would be nervous if my system was built on their technology too.
Scott McNealy
Microsoft, by some accounts, the second most capitalized company David Shenk
on the planet, is the only corporate colossus in history whose entire
product line could be eliminated with a giant magnet.
Microsoft just absolutely sucks. And if Apple has any balls that will Tim Byars
be their new ad slogan.
Middle age is when what makes you tick needs rewinding.
VFW Magazine
Microbrain, growl for me, let me know you still care.
Q
Middle age is when you are impressed not with the fact that the
grass is greener on the other side of the fence but rather with how
difficult the fence looks to get over.
North Vernon Sun
Middle age is youth without its levity. And old age without decay.
Daniel Defoe
Midnight, and the kiddies are sleeping...
David Letterman
Microsoft operating systems are bad, and their morals are even
worse. But they make some good applications.
Linus Torvalds
Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick
themselves up and hurry off as if nothing ever happened.
Winston Churchill
Men make history and not the other way around.
Harry S Truman
Men make history, but they do not do so under conditions of their
own choosing.
Karl Marx
Men make gods, and women worship them.
James G. Frazer
Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating
goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are
like portable heaters that snore.
Rita Rudner
Men love war because it allows them to look serious. Because it is
the one thing that stops women laughing at them.
John Fowles
Microsoft provides so much trollbait, it practically attacks itself.
Adam Rifkin
Men love watches with multiple functions. My husband has one that Rita Rudner
is a combination address book, telescope and piano.
Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
Rita Rudner
May peace and plenty be the first to lift the latch on your door, and
happiness be guided to your home by the Candle of Christmas.
Irish Toast
May God answer all your prayers
then mistake your worst
enemy for you.
May the angel of death skip your house altogether
and send Satan instead.
May you and your partner be as close as brothers
Cain and Abel
May the force be with you.
Luke Skywalker
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
George Carlin
May you live in interesting times.
traditional Chinese curse
May you lose all your teeth
but one should remain for
a toothache.
May your daughters be like the flowers in the field
wither away and fade.
May your fondest wish be granted.
traditional Chinese curse
May the best loser win.
Adam Rifkin
Much as I love someone, they will not be handcuffing me to a cast
iron bed.
Richard Goodman
Murder is the sport of the elected.
the Police
Murdered by pirates is good.
Princess Bride
Much like aging, inflation has no effect on cartoon characters.
Adam Rifkin
Mr. Helms will be providing the country with much-needed humor
as chair of the Senate Foreign Relations committee.
Kurt Loder
Mr. Cranky has been known to exaggerate now and again, but... I
kid you not... after I saw this film, I wanted to drive my car into a
tree.
Mr. Cranky
Mr. Quick Brown Fox, jump over me again and I will kill you.
Lazy Dog
May you make a widow and orphans happy
your own.
May you live all the days of your life.
Jonathan Swift
Martyrdom is the only way a person can become famous without
ability.
George Bernard Shaw
Marsupials and marzipan made me what I am.
Adam Rifkin
Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible. In a world
where there are more women than men, it pays to recycle.
Rita Rudner
Mathematics in general is fundamentally the science of self-evident F. Klein
things.
Mathematics is a logical method ... Mathematical propositions
Ludwig Wittgenstein
express no thoughts. In life it is never a mathematical proposition
which we need, but we use mathematical propositions only in order
to infer from propositions which do not belong to mathematics to
others which equally do not belong to mathematics.
Mathematicians usually present the weirdest case first.
Joel Franklin
Mathematics has given economics rigor, but alas, also mortis.
Robert Heilbroner
Mars needs women. Venus needs a swift kick.
Vince Farquharson
Mary had a little RAM
only about a MEG or so.
May you have warm words on a cold evening, A full moon on a
dark night, And the road downhill all the way to your door.
An Irish Wish
Someone is staring at you in personal growth.
When Harry Met Sally
Someone whose passion is to get Windows NT installed properly is, Ernest Prabhakar
IMHO, much less interesting than one whose passion is to get
Windows NT everywhere, which is less interesting than someone
whose dream is to turn everyone into a desktop publisher. The
bigger the dream you are pursuing, the more fun your life will be, to
you and those around you.
Some refer to it as a cultural Chernobyl. I think of it as a cultural
Stalingrad.
JG Ballard on Eurodisney
Me ke aloha pau ole. May our friendship be everlasting.
Polynesian toast
McKinley shows all the backbone of a chocolate eclair.
Theodore Roosevelt
Someone in a club tonight has stolen my ideas.
They Might Be Giants
Somehow I imagined this experience would be more rewarding.
Calvin
mechanical engineers build weapons. civil engineers build targets.
Wendigo
Sometimes the only person you can really trust is a critic.
Robert DeNiro
Sometimes nothing can be a real cool hand.
Cool Hand Luke
Sometimes our fate resembles a fruit tree in winter. Who would
think that those branches would turn green again and blossom, but
we hope it, we know it.
Johann Wolfgang von
Goethe
Some who are too scrupulous to steal your possessions nevertheless Kahlil Gibran
see no wrong in tampering with your thoughts.
Some will die in hot pursuit while sifting through my ashes.
Butthole Surfers
Some people say the best revenge is living well. Fuck that, the best
revenge is your ex getting fat.
Gary Perez
Some people wish for peace for our children and their children.
This is not enough. We must insist on peace for ourselves.
King Abdullah of Jordan
Some people say the pen is mightier than the sword. I say fuck the
pen, because you can die by the sword.
Tom Araya
Somebody got up on the wrong side this morning.
Riker
Some things in life can never be fully appreciated nor understood
unless experienced firsthand. Some things in networking can never
be fully understood by someone who neither builds commercial
networking equipment nor runs an operational network.
Ross Callon
Somebody in his family had fought and died in every single
American war.
Forrest Gump
Somebody told me how frightening it was how much topsoil we are Jack Handey
losing each year, but I told that story around the campfire and
nobody got scared.
Men and women can never be friends, because the sex thing always When Harry Met Sally
gets in the way.
Men are all alike in their promises. It is only in their deed that they
differ.
Moliere
Maybe if you were a few years older, or I was a few years younger,
or we lived in biblical times...
Friends
Maybe Jesus was right when he said the meek shall inherit the earth Robert A. Heinlein
- but they inherit very small plots, about six feet by three.
Maybe you can tell me what posts are inappropriate for the long
haul so I can temper my forwarding finger...
Adam Rifkin
Maybe you should get a cup.
Butt-head to Beavis
Mick Jagger and I just really liked each other a lot. We talked all
night. We had the same views on nuclear disarmament.
Jerry Hall
Maybe men are the enemy, but I still love the enemy.
Jerry Maguire
Maybe some people think verbing fantastics language.
Adam Rifkin
Mice would be good. Then I can get a snake and feed the players
who play bad to the snake.
John Dobbin
Maybe we just fix the choreography. Keep the dwarf clear.
Spinal Tap
Maybe you can help me straighten out my Longfellow.
Rodney Dangerfield
Melrose Place is a really good show.
Reality Bites
Memory is the cabinet of imagination, the treasury of reason, the
registry of conscience, and the council chamber of thought.
Saint Basil
Megan......Jesus......Well, the shoes are similar......
John Dobbin
Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough
to get a bikini wax.
Rita Rudner
Men are less sentimental than women. No man has ever seen the
movie The Way We Were twice, voluntarily.
Rita Rudner
May your name be always associated with charity
as you rot away in the
poorhouse.
Maybe I should have screwed up.
Ken Thompson
Maybe all I need is a new metaphor for reality.
Queensryche
Maybe Computer Science should be in the College of Theology.
R.S. Barton
The company that owns it wanders around trade shows looking at
all the screens. If they see anyone doing XORs they set their
lawyers onto them...
Gordon Irlam
The company of just and righteous men is best.
Euripides
The country that draws a broad line between its fighting men and its Sir William F. Butler
thinking men will find its fighting done by fools and its thinking
done by cowards.
The condition upon which God has given liberty to man is eternal
vigilance.
John Philpot Curran
The coast was clear.
Lope de Vega
The Coens - intellectuals that they are - reveal their utter contempt
for working-class existence by representing plebian culture as the
playground of the absurd.
Mr. Cranky
The Counselor and I will be indisposed today.
Riker
The cool part about being a fish is that you never have to leave
school.
Adam Rifkin
The contagious people of Washington have stood firm against
diversity during this long period of increment weather.
Marion Barry
The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.
William Somerset
Maugham
The conventional position makes me claustrophobic, and the others
either give me a stiff neck or lackjaw.
Tallulah Bankhead
The creation of a thousand forests is in one acorn.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
The covers of this book are too far apart.
Ambrose Bierce
The costliest women are the ones who cost nothing.
Alfred de Musset
The cow is nothing but a machine which makes grass fit for people
to eat.
John McNulty
The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.
W.C. Fields
The damned cats like pushing the reset button on my computer.
Adam Rifkin
The daughters were mad and the boyfriends were glad because they Rugburns
got an education by burning the candle at both ends.
The danger from computers is not that they will eventually get as
smart as men, but that we will meanwhile agree to meet them
halfway.
Bernard Avishai
The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack
of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack of will.
Vince Lombardi
The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be
appreciated.
William James
The crux... is that the vast majority of the mass of the universe
seems to be missing.
William J. Broad
The day-to-day travails of the IBM programmer are so amusing to
most of us who are fortunate enough never to have been one
like watching Charlie
Chaplin trying to cook a
shoe.
The day of individual happiness has passed.
Adolf Hitler
The curtain rises on a vast, primitive wasteland, not unlike certain
Woody Allen
parts of New Jersey.
The difference between a coward and a brave man is usually a
matter of timing.
Robert Heinlein
The computing field is always in need of new cliches.
Alan Perlis
The creative instinct has always been a stronger motive than mere
profit to do truly new and revolutionary things.
Phil Karn
The devil is real. He lives inside C programs.
Philip Greenspun
The difference between journalism and literature is that journalism
is unreadable and literature is not read.
Oscar Wilde
The descent to Hades is the same from every place.
Anaxagoras
The age of the Immortal. Old enough to know better, but still too
young to resist.
Lord Deviant
The aim of education is the knowledge not of fact but of values.
W.R. Inge
The Air Force pinned a medal on me for killing a man and
discharged me for making love to one.
Leonard Matlovich
The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the
urge to throw a snowball.
Doug Larson
That would cost a hand and a foot.
Thanh Boyer
That would be dishonorable... and cool.
Steve Bajzek
That will come in very handy in the extraordinarily unlikely event
that I have to impersonate you.
John Dobbin to Megan
Coughlin
That which we call sin in others, is experiment for us.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
The acme of wisdom is to know that you know nothing.
Aristotle
The ability to speak several languages is an asset, but the ability to
keep your mouth shut in one is priceless.
The Lion
The ability to restrain ourselves is a fundamental feature of being
Adam Rifkin
human. This is why adultery is not a natural function, and is instead
considered wrong.
The absence of alternatives clears the mind marvellously.
Henry Kissinger
The Ancient Japanese considered the Go board to be a microcosm
of the universe. Although when it is empty it appears to be simple
and ordered, in fact, the possibilities of gameplay are endless. They
say that no two Go games have ever been alike. Just like
snowflakes. So, the Go board actually represents an extremely
complex and chaotic universe.
Pi
The Americans call me by value, and the Europeans call me by
name.
Niklaus Wirth
The air is full of farewells to the dying, and mournings for the dead. Henry Wadsworth
Longfellow
The advertisement is the most truthful part of a newspaper.
Thomas Jefferson
The American people would not want to know of any misquotes
that Dan Quayle may or may not make.
Vice President Dan Quayle
The algorithm to do that is extremely nasty. You might want to mug M. Devine
someone with it.
The brain is not an organ of thinking but an organ of survival, like
claws and fangs. It is made in such a way as to make us accept as
truth that which is only advantage. It is an exceptional, almost
pathological constitution one has, if one follows thoughts logically
through, regardless of consequences. Such people make martyrs,
apostles, or scientists, and mostly end on the stake, or in a chair,
electric or academic.
Albert Szent-Gyorgi
Take it easy. But take it.
Woody Guthrie
Take calculated risks. That is quite different from being rash.
George S. Patton
Take everything in stride. Trample anyone who gets in your way.
Malcolm Herbert
Take me back to LA, where I can see the air I breathe.
Ronald Reagan
Take long walks in stormy weather or through deep snow in the
Henry David Thoreau
fields and woods, if you would keep your spirits up. Deal with brute
nature. Be cold and hungry and weary.
Take me some place where the caffeine is thick.
Rohit Khare
Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a
week.
Will Rogers
Surely nothing can be THAT funny.
George Melly on being
told by Mick Jagger that
his wrinkles were laughter
lines
Surely the strong and noble residents of Willow Glenn are down to
earth types. They are people of the soil. They know about nature
and toil. These people are not going to be antsy, panicky, afraid-ofa-leetle-leezard types. If the lizard has them scared, it must be
because it is mightier than their SUVs and meaner than the many
Lexus vehicles they have arrayed in their defense.
Robert Rodgers
Sure as I was borne in Ireland, I was weaned on whiskey but raised
on gin.
Rugburns
Take me to the ocean and leave me there, leave me all alone with
the sun and the air.
Juliana Hatfield
Take my word for it, the silliest woman can manage a clever man,
but it needs a very clever woman to manage a fool.
Kipling
Success is getting what you want, happiness is wanting what you
get.
W.P. Kinsella
Success is never final.
Winston Churchill
Success is a journey, not a destination.
Ben Sweetland
Success consists of getting up one more time than you fall.
Jerry Maguire
Stupidity, like virtue, is its own reward.
Bill Davidsen
Success is a great deodorant.
Elizabeth Taylor
Stupid is as stupid does. Fuck off Forrest.
Bruce Sherrod
Stubbornness does have its helpful features. You always know what Glen Beaman
you are going to be thinking tomorrow.
Studies in Contemporary State-Sponsored Terrorism... also known
as gym class.
Calvin
stupid yuppies and computer nerds who make too much money are
willing to pay a lot of money to live someplace where the espresso
bars outnumber the poor people.
Andrew Stellman
Study art and logic
learn to draw your own
conclusions.
Study widely. Question thoroughly. Deliberate carefully. Analyze
clearly. Act conscientiously.
the sage kings Yao and
Shun as described by
Yamazaki Ansai
Stupid is as stupid does.
Forrest Gump
Stupid people shop at Wal Mart, she shops at Wal Mart, therefore... John Dobbin
Systems programmers are the high priests of a low cult.
R. S. Barton
Taco Bell... Walk, do not run, for the border.
Nathan Loofborrow
Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.
Abraham Lincoln
Take a chill lesson.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Take a bottle, drink it down, pass it around...
Pearl Jam
Style over substance.
Cyberpunk motto
Sure thing, man, I used to be a laboratory myself once.
Keith Richards
Suspicion breeds confidence.
Brazil
The blithe devastation of that last line is as toxic, as fearless in its
nihilism, as anything that ever escaped the lips of Johnny Rotten.
Owen Gleiberman
The biggest things are always the easiest to do because there is no
competition.
William Van Horne
The birth of an idea is that happy moment when everything appears Rudolph Diesel
possible and reality has not yet entered into the problem.
The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and for Harriet Beecher Stowe
deeds left undone.
The chief danger in life is that you may take too may precautions.
Alfred Adler
The chief ingredients in the composition of those qualities that gain
Joseph Addison
esteem and praise, are good nature, truth, good sense, and good
breeding.
The church is only a secular institution in which the half-educated
speak to the half-converted.
W.R. Inge
The bug stops here.
Harry S Truman
The broken network is the broken computer.
Mike Wiese
The business of life is to go forward.
Samuel Johnson
The brick the student Dave Nicol failed threw was hard.
John Klassa
The brain that processes these words as you read them is NOT the
one you were born with.
Steven Jay Gould
The bug is mightier than the fix.
Cyrano de Bergerac
The beverage. Icee, bro. This is what put this place on the map.
Encino Man
The bigger they come the harder they fall.
Robert Prometheus
Fitzsimmons
Sweetness is a trait men develop to strip women of their clothing.
John Dobbin
The certainty of misery is better than the misery of uncertainty.
Pogo
The characteristic of genuine heroism is its persistency. All men
Ralph Waldo Emerson
have wandering impulses, fits and starts of generosity. But when
you have resolved to be great, abide by yourself, and do not weakly
try to reconcile yourself with the world. The heroic cannot be the
common, nor the common the heroic.
The cause of the riots were the rioters.
Dan Quayle
Sweet are the uses of adversity which, like the toad, ugly and
venomous, wears yet a precious jewel in his head.
William Shakespeare
Swanney taught us to adore and respect the national health service. Trainspotting
For it was the source of much of our gear. We stole drugs. We stole
prescriptions or bought them, sold them, swapped them, forged
them, photocopied them. Or traded drugs with cancer victims,
alcoholics, old-age pensioners, AIDS patients, epileptics, and bored
housewives.
Sylvester Stallone said it was immaturity that caused him to bounce Jay Leno
from one supermodel to the next. I think the real reason was because he could.
Swab the poop deck, raise the mizzenmast
Picard
Sweep first before your own door, before you sweep the doorsteps
of your neighbors.
Swedish Saying
The charm of sleepless nights is the idea that tomorrow will not
come.
Jean Baudrillard
The chick pea is neither a chick nor a pea. Discuss.
Mike Myers
The civilization of one epoch becomes the manure of the next.
Cyril Connolly
The classes that wash the most are those that work least.
G.K. Chesterton
The Christian resolution to find the world ugly and bad has made
the world ugly and bad.
Friedrich Nietzsche
The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be
H.L. Mencken
vastly greater than that of any other animals. Some of their most
esteemed inventions have no other apparent purpose, for example,
the dinner party of more than two, the epic poem, and the science of
metaphysics.
The capacity to recognize higher orders that unify diverse
phenomena and make complex situations more simple. This is the
essence of creative and productve thinking and problem solving.
Moshe Rubenstein
The chick has been beaten out for awards by Right Said Fred.
John Dobbin
The California state bird is the middle finger.
Jay Leno
So anyway, after I graduated, a number of years passed, in
chronological order...
Dave Barry
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs... a cool flick about a maid who
makes it big.
John Dobbin
So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in
praise of intelligence.
Bertrand Russell
So many obituaries...And always the wrong ones
Marian Balsam
Sneakers will be fine. And nothing else. I cynically believe this is
the only way womens sports will catch on.
John Dobbin
So we immediately rushed out and set up our own Lost Manual
Review Committee.
HavenTree
So near is falsehood to truth that a wise man would do well not to
trust himself on the narrow edge.
Cicero
So no one told you life was gonna be this way...
Friends
So much time and so little to do ... strike that, reverse it.
Willy Wonka
So this is the ship they say is unsinkable.
Titanic
so this is what happens when Steve Jobs hooks up with Tito
Fuentes. incidentally, tuning castanets generally requires a router.
and a chisel.
Andrew Stellman
So many women, so little nerve.
Bruce Sherrod
So you see, the only truth proof of what you are is in the way you
hear the truth.
Lemmy Kilmeister
So many assholes, so few bullets
Ford Fairlane
Sin has many tools, but a lie is the handle which fits them all.
Holmes
Short words are best and the old words when short are best of all.
Winston Churchill
Shoot first, use the ask questions part to reload, then resume
Saul Devitt
shooting.
Sin is sort of goofy.
Professor Beildelman
Simply the thing I am shall make me live.
William Shakespeare
Silly Rifkin, tricks are for kids.
John Dobbin
Simplicity, carried to an extreme, becomes elegance.
Jon Franklin
Since I hurt my pendulum My life is all erratic. My parrot, who was My Shoe
cordial, Is now transmitting static. The carpet died, a palm
collapsed, The cat keeps doing poo. The only thing that keeps me
sane Is talking to my shoe.
Silly is a state of Mind, Stupid is a way of Life.
Dave Butler
Simple acknowledgement, not involving some complex arcane
ritual involving sanctioned white lies and insincere replies.
Richard Goodman
Simply put, there is no way to leave a suicide note without looking
corny.
Tara Morrison
Simplicity, of all things, is the hardest to be copied.
Sir Richard Steele
Since director Ron Shelton imagines most losers of the world look Mr. Cranky
like Kevin Costner, it becomes easy to set up these unbelievable
sports stories where the loser ends up achieving some kind of career
goal while boning the most beautiful woman in the area.
Shooting up the enemy. Yeah.
Imperial Teen
Shock. Denial. Fear. Booze. Boners. Acceptance.
Adam Rifkin
Shoe. Car. Clothing line. Soft drink. We know what the four jewels
of the celebrity endorsement ring are.
Jerry Maguire
So godawful that it ruptured the very fabric of space and time with
the sheer overpowering force of its mediocrity.
Mr. Cranky
So Father Mason clutching his crucifix baptized the baby in
whiskey and licorice, what a lovely way drowning sins in tooth
decay.
Jellyfish
Show me, show me, show me how you do that trick, the one that
makes me scream she said. The one that makes me laugh, she said.
The Cure
Show me a man who has enjoyed his schooldays and I will show
you a bully and a bore.
Robert Morley
The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
Alan Kay
The best way I know of to win an argument is to start by being in
the right.
Quentin Hogg
The best use of life is to spend it for something that outlasts life.
William James
The best way to make your dreams come true is to wake up.
Paul Valery
The best way to realize the pleasure of being rich is to live in a
smaller house than your means would entitle you to have.
Edward Clarke
The best test of truth is the power of the thought to get itself
accepted in the competition of the market.
Oliver Wendell Holmes
The best teacher, until one comes to adult pupils, is not the one who H.L. Mencken
knows most, but the one who is most capable of reducing
knowledge to that simple compound of the obvious and the
wonderful which slips into the infantile comprehension...The best
teacher of children, in brief, is one who is essentially childlike.
The best defense is a strong offense, and I intend to start offending
right now.
James T. Kirk
The best way to escape from a problem is to solve it.
Brendan Francis
The best way to find something lost is to buy a replacement.
Ann Landers
The beginning of knowledge is the discovery of something we do
not understand...
Frank Herbert
The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient while nature
cures the disease.
Voltaire
The art of progress is to preserve order amid change and to preserve Alfred North Whitehead
change amid order.
The audience of elderly Barbra fans I saw this movie with seemed
Mr. Cranky
completely enthralled throughout... but then again, they also seemed
enthralled by the opening popcorn commercial.
The author makes no guarantee that the story will satisfy you.
THAT is entirely in your HANDS.
disclaimer in alt.sex.stories
The beginning is the most important part of the work.
Plato
The best education in the world is that got by struggling to get a
living.
Wendell Phillips
The best executive is the one who has sense enough to pick good
men to do what he wants done, and self-restraint enough to keep
from meddling with them while they do it.
Theodore Roosevelt
The best advice on the art of being happy is about as easy to follow
as advice to be well when one is sick.
Anne Sophie Swetchine
The best cure for insomnia is a Monday morning.
Sandy Cooley
The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.
W. C. Fields
The answer my friend, is blowing in the wind.
Bob Dylan
The best lesson life has taught me is that the idiots in many cases
are right.
Winston Churchill
The best laid plans of mice and Megan etc. etc...
John Dobbin
The best liar is he who makes the smallest amount of lying go the
longest way.
Samuel Butler
The art of art, the glory of expression, and the sunshine of the light
of letters, is simplicity.
Walt Whitman
The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook.
William James
Sleep is for Pitt students.
CMU saying
Skill without imagination is craftsmanship and gives us many useful Tom Stoppard
objects such as wickerwork picnic baskets. Imagination without
skill gives us modern art.
Slavery is not the evil thing people make it out to be. I myself
would love a few slaves.
John Dobbin
Slap me with the splintered ruler.
Alanis Morissette
Smart is when you believe only half of what you hear. Brilliant is
when you know which half to believe.
Robert Orben
Smallness and bitterness can only last as long as we allow them.
Joyce Hifler
Sleep deprivation makes everything really neat.
Henry Rollins
Sleep is death without the responsibility.
Fran Leibowitz
Sleep is actually a good substitute for coffee
Bill Arms
sleeze... I need sleeze....very much so........
Sam Miller
Sleeping on this couch is like spooning with Adam.
Joe Kiniry
Small opportunities are often the beginning of great enterprises.
Demosthenes
The baseball player stepped out of the box and spit like a fountain
statue of a Greek god that scratches itself a lot and spits brown,
rusty tobacco water and refuses to sign autographs for all the little
Greek kids unless they pay him lots of drachmas.
Ken Krattenmaker
The basic fact about human existence is not that it is a tragedy, but
that it is a bore. It is not so much a war as an endless standing in
line.
H.L. Mencken
The beauty of America is that the average person always thinks he
is above average.
Sam Levenson
The bathroom was a NyQuil cup.
Dennis Miller
The Army has carried the American ... ideal to its logical
T. Lehrer
conclusion. Not only do they prohibit discrimination on the grounds
of race, creed and color, but also on ability.
The Army needs leaders the way a foot needs a big toe.
Bill Murray
The Army said I was too heavy. The police force said I was too
dumb.
Homer Simpson
The Army has carried the American ideal to its logical conclusion.
Not only do they prohibit discrimination on the grounds of race,
creed and color, but also on the grounds of ability.
Tom Lehrer
The basis of a democratic state is liberty.
Aristotle
The average pointer points somewhere in X.
Henry Spencer
Sloppy, raggedy-assed old life. I love it. I never want to die.
Dennis Trudell
Slow down you crazy child, take the phone off the hook and
disappear for a while.
Billy Joel
Small towns in Germany are usually about ten kilotons apart.
Jake McGuire
Small talk hangs like a dirty cloud saying nothing real but deafening Toad the Wet Sprocket
loud.
Strong reasons make strong actions.
Shakespeare
The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of
helicopters in it.
Dave Barry
The baby has my brains.
She must have. I still have
mine.
The baby-eating bishop of Bathenwell.
Blackadder II
The ballot is stronger than the bullet.
Abraham Lincoln
The background is Scotch... a very frugal people. My father give me Dennis Miller
this Swatch on his death futon.
The band of cutthroats was not there for any good.
Nicolai Gogol
The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any
use to oneself.
Oscar Wilde
The only thing that stops God from sending another flood is that the Chamfort
first one was useless.
The only thrill I got from the film was from bouncing up and down
on my chair, wondering if a spring would break, fly up my ass and
rip out my heart on the way to my brain.
Mr. Cranky
The only truth is that there is no truth.
Laura Esquivel
The only thing we learn from history is that we do not learn.
Earl Warren
The only thing worse than not getting what you want is getting what Oscar Wilde
you want.
the only problem with kittens is that eventually they get cooped up
in little boxes with unstable particles
Andrew Stellman
The only people I fear are the ones that never have any doubts.
Billy Joel
The only problem I had with him is he wanted to go to church and I Charles Barkley
wanted to go to strip clubs. I like Kevin Johnson.
The only thing we learn from history is that we learn nothing from
history.
Georg Hegel
The only time i update my Netscape is when you tell me to, on the
theory that at any other time it would plunge me into a world of
darkness from which i might never return.
Richard Kinsey
The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing.
Mr. Henry Breckenridge
The main thing is to make history, not to write it.
Otto von Bismarck
The majority of men meet with failure because of their lack of
persistence in creating new plans to take the place of those which
fail.
Napoleon Hill
The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play
the violin.
Honore de Balzac
The only thing standing between you and success is your sense of
ethics.
Mark Denovich
The only thing more expensive than education is ignorance.
Benjamin Franklin
The only thing that saves my stand-up act is the material. The
delivery works against it. Nobody ever asks me to do a Rice
Krispies commercial.
Ben Elton
The only thing cooler than bands that get chicks are bands that
SCARE chicks.
Beavis
The only thing that makes one place more attractive to me than
another is the quantity of heart I find in it.
Jane Welsh Carlyle
The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.
Tom Landry
The orgasm has replaced the cross as the focus of longing and the
image of fulfillment.
Malcolm Muggeridge
The other day I put instant coffee in my microwave oven ... I almost Steven Wright
went back in time.
The other day I was in Las Vegas. I was at the roulette table having
a furious argument over what I considered an odd number.
Steven Wright
The other teams could make trouble for us if they win.
Yogi Berra
The other day I looked up my family tree. There were two dogs
using it.
Rodney Dangerfield
The owls are not what they seem.
Twin Peaks
The only two things you get pronounced are MAN AND WIFE and Dennis Miller
DEAD ON ARRIVAL.
The only reward of virtue is virtue.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
The only reason we know things will work out for Tom in the end is Mr. Cranky
because we know this project was sanctioned by Hollywood
executives, who consider greedheads like Tom to be righteous
heroes and can empathize with the real-life pain that results from
missing a Lexus payment.
The only rose without thorns is friendship.
Madeleine de Scudery
The only problem with seeing too much is that it makes you insane. Phaedrus
The only place men want depth in a woman is in her decolletage.
Zsa Zsa Gabor
The only person who got all his work done by Friday was Robinson Andreas Wuertz
Crusoe.
The only skills I have the patience to learn are those that have no
real application in life.
Calvin
The only real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new
landscapes but in having new eyes.
Marcel Proust
The only reason I would take up jogging is so I could hear heavy
breathing again.
Erma Bombeck
The man is a fascist, like Himmler without the whimsy.
Frasier
The man in the mirror has sad eyes.
Marillion
The latest version of gwm will continue to be available... for as long Jon Ferro
as I continue to want to be known as a walking lisp machine, or
until I give up my cs-side access, whichever comes first.
The last thing IBM needs right now is a vision.
Lou Gerstner
The longer you wait for the mail, the less there is in it.
Calvin
The lifeblood of liberalism is the pursuit of perpetually
unobtainable objectives.
Rush Limbaugh
The leaves of memory seemed to make A mournful rustling in the
dark.
Henry Wadsworth
Longfellow
The life which is unexamined is not worth living.
Plato
The life of every man is a diary in which he means to write one
story, and writes another.
James Matthew Barrie
The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor Anatole France
to sleep under bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.
The longer I am out of office, the more infallible I appear to myself. Henry Kissinger
The mass of men lead lives of quiet deperation and go to the grave
with the song still in them.
Henry David Thoreau
The mass media is supported and sustained by commercial entities.
And corn flakes and Shakespeare are simply not kissing cousins.
Leonard Bernstein and living bras are incompatible. And you
cannot sustain adult, probing, meaningful drama when the
proceedings are interrupted every twelve minutes by a dozen
dancing rabbits with toilet paper.
Rod Serling
The more you suffer, the more it shows you really care. Right.
Yeah.
Offspring
The mosquito is the state bird of New Jersey.
Andy Warhol
The light that burns twice as bright burns half as long... and you
have burned so very, very brightly, Roy.
Blade Runner
The Law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich, as well as the
poor, to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal
bread.
Anatole France
The laws in this city are clearly racist. All laws are racist. The law
Marion Barry
of gravity is racist.
The lure of the distant and the difficult is deceptive. The great
opportunity is where you are.
John Burroughs
The lyf so short, the craft so long to lerne.
Chaucer
The manner of giving is worth more than the gift.
Pierre Corneille
The man, who has seen the rising moon break out of the clouds at
midnight, has been present like an archangel at the creation of light
and of the world.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
The loss of life will be irreplaceable.
Vice President Dan Quayle
The Los Angeles riots were not caused by the Rodney King verdict. Rush Limbaugh
The Los Angeles riots were caused by rioters.
The majority of people who keel over dead at concerts are killed by Garrison Keillor
a long trumpet passage.
The Mall of America, in Bloomington Minn., is now offering
college classes. The best part is, if you flunk out, you can just walk
across to the food court and start your job immediately.
Jay Leno
The mail interface is just slightly more reliable than writing a
message on a dollar bill and hoping the intended audience sees the
message.
John Dobbin
The lottery is dreams for people who have no dreams.
John Dobbin
The lucky part is, we got the government rate for the rental. So
instead of an arm and a leg, they charged us two arms, my three
legs, and three quarters of my shirts.
Rustan Leino
The man who started more creations since Genesis - and finished
none.
Hugh Johnson about FDR
The Marilyn Monroe Stamp was not a good idea. Men keep licking
the wrong side.
Jim Mullen
The man who never alters his opinion is like standing water, and
breeds reptiles of the mind.
William Blake
The man who runs may fight again.
Menander
The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man
who reads nothing but newspapers.
Thomas Jefferson
The laws of Congress and the laws of physics have grown
increasingly divergent, and the laws of physics are not likely to
yield.
Bill McKibben
The man who has no imagination has no wings.
Muhammad Ali
The mark of a true professional is giving more than you get.
Robert Kirby
The man who has confidence in himself gains the confidence of
others.
Hasidic Saying
The man who follows the crowd will usually get no further than the Alan Ashley-Pitt
crowd. The man who walks alone is likely to find himself in places
no one has ever been.
The man who gets on best with women is the one who knows best
how to get on without them.
Charles Baudelaire
The paper is rather basic if you ask me...
Rajit Manohar
The ocean is a desert with its life underground and a perfect
disguise above.
America
The one real object of education is to leave us in the condition of
always asking questions.
Bishop Creighton
The one thing I cannot forgive them for is that they forced our sons
to kill their sons.
Golda Meir
The Olympics are not just about big corporations paying ridiculous Dave Barry
sums of money to be official sponsors. The Olympics are also about
ordinary sports fans paying ridiculous sums of money for lodging.
The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age
brings wisdom.
H. L. Mencken
The fjords were my idea. I won an award for it.
Slartibartfast
The older I grow, the less important the comma becomes. Let the
reader catch his own breath.
Elizabeth Clarkson Zwart
The ocean is a body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world Ambrose Bierce
made for man - who has no gills.
The only inherent sin in society lies in huting others unnecessarily.
Hurting yourself in not sinful - just dumb.
Robert Heinlein
The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of
today.
FDR
The only interesting answers are those which destroy the question.
Susan Sontag
The only certainty is that nothing is certain.
Pliny the Elder
The only completely consistent people are dead.
Aldous Huxley
The only good thing about being shot in the buttocks is all the free
ice cream.
Forrest Gump
The one thing in the world, of value, is the active soul.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
The object is Toledo, not to follow.
Dan Galvin
The one thing we can never get enough of is love, and the one thing Henry Miller
we can never give enough of is love.
The only function of economic forecasting is to make astrology
look respectable.
John Kenneth Galbraith
The flakiest member of the orchestra, of course, is the piccolo.
Garrison Keillor
The first step is the hardest.
Marie Marquise du
Deffand
The first step on the road to truth is to call things by their proper
names.
Ancient Chinese Saying
The first bullet is never for you.
from Nikita
The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it.
Abbie Hoffman
The first step toward immortality is living a life worth
remembering.
Brandon Lee
The first sign of a nervous breakdown is when you start thinking
your work is terribly important.
Milo Bloom
The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.
Paul Ehrlich
The freedom of a nation is measured by the freedom of its lowest
class.
James Connolly
The first rule is to keep an untroubled spirit. The second is to look
things in the face and know them for what they are.
Marcus Aurelius
The first requisite for success is the ability to apply your physical
and mental energies to one problem incessantly without growing
weary.
Thomas Edison
The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, and the second
half by our children.
Clarence Darrow
The first time was history, the second time, farce.
Karl Marx
The flamewar would have been nice, but I was really just trying to
get quotefiled.
Tim Showalter
The first time I tried organic wheat bread, I thought I was chewing
on roofing material.
Robin Williams
The first time Adam had a chance, he laid the blame on women.
Nancy Astor
The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and
vinyl.
Dave Barry
The first myth of management is that it exists. The second myth of
management is that success equals skill.
Robert Heller
The first thing in life is to be true to yourself.
O.J. Simpson
The Force is duct tape, with a light side, a dark side, and holding the Carl Zwanzig
universe together.
The only attractive woman in this town is standing in a fountain,
with water coming out of her armpits.
Blackadder IV
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible
worlds. The pessimist fears this is true.
James Branch Cabell
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the
opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
Neils Bohr
The only ones among you who will be really happy are those who
will have sought and found how to serve.
Albert Schweitzer
The news of my impending death came at a really bad time for me.
Steve Taylor
the next race should be totally awsome. Imola, at San Marino.
Chris Heiser
highlights should be exploding ferrari engines and an arrows car
actually finishing a race. also be on the lookout for italian officials
trying to blame the bad crosswinds which caused a pit bunny to fall
over and sprain her thumb on an improperly designed williams car
which, in addition, may also have caused the death of ayrton senna
at the tamburello curve. when questioned, frank williams will, for
the first time in his professional carreer, laugh.
The nice thing about neuroanatomy is that the playing field is level. James Cook
The structures all look the same.
The only way the Bill of Rights will protect you from much of
anything nowadays is if you hold it over your head when it rains.
Samantha Crouse
The optimist thinks this is the best of all possible worlds and the
pessimist knows it.
J. Robert Oppenheimer
The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it... I can resist
everything but temptation.
Oscar Wilde
The only way to find love is by not looking for it.
Davis Feinberg
The optimum committee has no members.
Norman Augustine
The paper burns, but the words fly away.
Ben Joseph Akiba
The only way to keep a secret between two people is if one of them Mark Denovich
is dead.
The only way round is through.
Robert Frost
The only way to be happy is to not be happy all the time.
Brain Candy
The only way to make a man trustworthy is to trust him.
Henry Stimson
The only way to discover the limits of the possible is to go beyond
them into the impossible.
Arthur C. Clarke
The nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them to
choose from.
Andrew S. Tanenbaum
The natural progress of things is for government to gain ground and Thomas Jefferson
for liberty to yield.
The new is beginning and for those who cling to the old the new
will be horrible.
Hesse
The murals in restaurants are on a par with the food in museums.
Peter De Vries
The only cure for grief is action.
George Henry Lewes
The only decent impression he can do is a man without talent.
Blackadder IV
The network is the business.
Mary Meeker
The night is young and we have umbrellas in our drinks.
The Tick
The night sky over the planet Krikkit is the least interesting sight in Douglas Adams
the entire Universe.
The night is my companion, the solitude my guide.
Sarah McLachlan
The most beautiful pictures are those one dreams about when
smoking pipes in bed, but which one will never paint.
Cyprien
Trust in God, but tie your camel.
Arab proverb
Trees cause more pollution than automobiles do.
President Ronald Reagan
Trapped, like a trap in a trap.
Dorothy Parker
Trust in haste, regret at leisure.
Brazil
Try to be the best of what you are, even if what you are is no good.
Ashleigh Brilliant
Try not. Do or do not. There is no try.
Yoda
Try to avoid telling a little English story that is in no way tied to the John Thornley
test of the algorithm that you present.
Try not to have a good time ... This is supposed to be educational.
Charles Schultz
Try to avoid things that involve allergies or lots of money...
Ernest Prabhakar
Tread softly, for this is holy ground. It may be, could we look with
knowing eyes, this spot we stand on is Paradise.
Christina Rossetti
Troll, troll, troll your post, gently down the datastream...
Jason Powers
Trust everybody, but cut the cards.
Jesse Dooley
Truants move on. Cannot stay long... Some die just to live.
Pearl Jam
True friendship is like sound health, the value of its is seldom know Charles Caleb Colton
until it be lost.
True happiness consists not in the multitude of friends, but in their
worth and choice.
Ben Jonson
Treat the media as you would any other watchdog. Stay calm, be
friendly, let them sniff your hand and never turn your back.
Amy Sprinkles
Treat your friend as if he might become an enemy.
Publilius Syrus
True love is not nice, no no.
Jonathan Richman
Truly you have a dizzying intellect.
The Princess Bride
Try praising your wife even if it does frighten her at first.
Billy Sunday
Try deep-frying a Snickers bar, and thank me later.
David Letterman
Try as much as possible to be wholly alive, with all your might, and William Saroyan
when you laugh, laugh like hell and when you get angry, get good
and angry. Try to be alive. You will be dead soon enough.
Truth never hurts the teller.
Robert Browning
Truth is. Belief is not required.
Gerry Roston
Truth, like surgery, may hurt. But it cures.
Han Suyin
Try to relax and enjoy the crisis.
Ashleigh Brilliant
Tuber, or not tuber.
Yamlet
Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.
Mark Twain
Trust, but verify.
Ronald Reagan
Trust is the result of a risk successfully survived.
Gibb
Truth is not determined by majority vote.
Doug Gwyn
True friendship can afford true knowledge. It does not depend on
darkness and ignorance.
Henry David Thoreau
Tiresome and boring wholesale company seeks indolent people
with a total lack of service-mindedness for a job that is completely
without challenge.
FH Company
Tis better to have loved and lost... yadda yadda yadda.
Bart Simpson
To be, AND not to be.
Zen Shakespeare
To be understood is to be forgiven.
Pat Carr
Times when state in names is useful - when you are transmitting
information over a very low bandwidth medium, eg, slide
presentations to senior management.
Vijay Gill
Tipper Gore is so uptight, she walks with her legs crossed.
Dennis Miller
To a book collector, you see, the true freedom of all books is
somewhere on his shelves.
Walter Benjamin
To badly split infinitives go where no man has before...
Douglas Adams
Tip the world over on its side and everything loose will land in Los
Angeles.
Frank Lloyd Wright
To call this stuff sophomoric would be an insult to undergraduates.
George Will
To be out of place is not necessarily to be out of power.
Samuel Johnson
To be great is to be misunderstood.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
To be is to do
Sartre
to be nobody but yourself... in a world which is doing its best, night ee cummings
and day, to make you like everybody else... means to fight the
hardest battle which any human being can fight, and never stop
fighting
To be happy at home is the ultimate end of all ambition.
Samuel Johnson
To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit Ashleigh Brilliant
the target.
To be prepared for war is one of the most effectual means of
preserving peace.
George Washington
To be honest, I can imagine few things more confusing than being Martin Frankel
new to the United States and being introduced to it by Samuel Kass.
To do nothing is also a good remedy.
Hippocrates
To do is to be
Nietzsche
To every Ph.D. there is an equal and opposite Ph.D.
B. Duggan
To fight for the right, without question or pause, to be willing to
march into hell for a heavenly cause.
Man of la Mancha
To dream the Impossible Dream, to fight the unbeatable foe, to bear Man of la Mancha
with unbearable sorrow, to run where the brave dare not go.
To do anything truly worth doing, I must not stand back shivering
and thinking of the cold and danger, but jump in with gusto and
scramble through as well as I can.
Og Mandino
To cover my nervousness, I started eating an apple because I think
if they hear you chewing on the other end of the phone, it makes
you sound casual.
Seinfeld
To educate a man in mind, and not in morals, is to educate a
menace to society.
Theodore Roosevelt
To create an entirely new OS from scratch, just because none of the Neal Stephenson
existing ones was exactly right, struck me as an act of such colossal
nerve that I felt compelled to support it.
To add insult to injury.
Phaedrus
To action little, less to words inclined.
Horace
To be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we
could become.
Charles DuBois
To appreciate nonsense requires a serious interest in life.
Gelett Burgess
To carry a grudge is like being stung to death by one bee.
William H. Walton
To generalize is to be an idiot.
William Blake
To err is human...to really foul up requires the root password.
David Weingart
To err is human, to repent, divine, to persist, devilish.
Benjamin Franklin
Tom Cruise, parents go away, prostitutes and teens, Rebecca
DeMornay, glass eggs, dancing in underwear, Ray-Bans... this
movie has it all.
Baked Potatoes
The millstone may break down but the river continues its course to
the sea.
Kahlil Gibran
The mind is its own place, and in itself, can make heaven of Hell,
and a hell of Heaven.
John Milton
The measure of a man is the way he bears up under misfortune.
Plutarch
The metaphor is probably the most fertile power possessed by men. Ortega Y Gassett
The meta-Turing test counts a thing as intelligent if it seeks to
devise and apply Turing tests to objects of its own creation.
Lew Mammel, Jr.
The men who make history have not time to write it.
Prince von Metternich
The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains. The superior William Arthur Ward
teacher demonstrates. The great teacher inspires.
The more bicep curls you do, the easier it is to pick people up.
Adam Rifkin
The more clearly one sees this world, the more one is obliged to
pretend it does not exist.
John Irving
The more I find out, the less that I know.
Billy Joel
The more a person knows, the less he talks.
French saying
The meek shall inherit nothing.
Frank Zappa
The meek shall inherit the earth
they are too weak to
refuse.
The most horrifying thing about Unix is that, no matter how many Patrick Sobalvarro
times you hit yourself over the head with it, you never quite manage
to lose consciousness. It just goes on and on.
The most important political office is that of private citizen.
Louis Brandeis
The more things change, the more they suck.
Butthead
The more that I search for some definitive, the closer I am to fine.
Indigo Girls
The more the merrier.
John Heywood
The more things a man is ashamed of, the more respectable he is.
George Bernard Shaw
The most popular labour-saving device is still money.
Franklin P. Jones
The more I see the more I stand alone.
Concrete Blonde
The most beautiful thing about a tree is what you do with it after
you cut it down.
Rush Limbaugh
The most dangerous moment in any financial market boom is the
one where the suppliers of funds stop paying attention.
Peter Martin
The more original a discovery, the more obvious it seems
afterwards.
Arthur Koestler
The more laws and order are made prominent, the more thieves and Lao Tsu
robbers there will be.
The most persistent principles in the universe are accident and error. Frank Herbert
The most important thing in a relationship between a man and a
woman is that one of them be good at taking orders.
Linda Festa
The most important thing in the Olympic Games is not to win but to Olympic Games Creed
take part, just as the most important thing in life is not the triumph,
but the struggle. The essential thing is not to have conquered but to
have fought well.
The most wasted of all days in one without laughter.
ee cummings
Today there are a lot of novelists who seem to be writing to be
Pete Hamill
reviewed, not read.
Tradition does not mean to look after the ash, but to keep the flame
alive.
Jean Jaures
Tough shit requires a prune juice OD. Wimpy shit requires the pink Adam Rifkin
stuff.
Too bad all the people who know how to run the country are busy
driving taxi cabs and cutting hair.
George Burns
Today is a good day to die.
Flatliners
Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week.
Spanish proverb
Too much of a good thing is WONDERFUL.
Mae West
Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.
Mae West
There is more to life than increasing its speed.
Mahatma Gandhi
Too much information. I call it datarhea.
William Rifkin
Too many tire tracks in the sands of time.
Don Henley
Too often in politics, the man of thought cannot act, and the man of Richard Nixon
action does not think.
Too many windows. What a pane.
Adam Rifkin
The mind is not a vessel to be filled, but a fire to be ignited.
Plutarch
The mind is not a vessel to be filled but a fire to be kindled.
Plutarch
The moment of victory is much too short to live for that and nothing Martina Navrtilova
else.
Too often we... enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort John F. Kennedy
of thought.
Too many jokes... must... mock... Joey...
Friends
Too many of us who want eternal life do not seem to know what to
do with one single rainy afternoon.
Rev. Robert Harris
Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity.
They seem more afraid of life than death.
James F. Byrnes
Tragedy is when I stub my toe. Humor is when you fall down a
manhole and die.
Mel Brooks
Too lazy to fail.
Robert Heinlein
Too drunk to fuck is just drunk enough to bowl.
Steve Ledebur
Too many dinosaurs, too few meteors.
Seyma Atik
Too clever is dumb.
Ogden Nash
The universe is not hostile, nor yet is it friendly. It is simply
indifferent.
John Hughes Holmes
The universe is made of stories, not atoms.
Muriel Rukeyser
The unexamined life is worth nothing.
Plato
The usual correlation between abundance of attitude and lack of
clue applies here too.
Robert Harley
The USS Reagan
To boldly ... um ... I
forget...
The unfortunate thing about this world is that good habits are so
much easier to give up than bad ones.
William Somerset
Maugham
The ultimate consequence of protecting men from the results of
their own folly is to fill the world with fools.
Herbert Spencer
The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments
of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of
challenge and controversy.
MLK
The United States is in no sense founded upon the Christian
doctrine.
George Washington
The U.S. victory in Gulf war was a stirring victory for the forces of
aggression.
Vice President Dan Quayle
The ultimate value of life depends upon awareness, and the power
of contemplation rather than upon mere survival.
Aristotle
The Unicode Standard is a large, painful book, suitable for use as a
blunt object, possibly as a seventh weapon in the game of Clue. It
could play a telephone book in a movie if it were painted yellow
and made more exciting. It could hold up a table if one leg were
several inches short and in need of the sort of support that only a
standard can provide.
Tim Showalter
The United States has much to offer the third world war.
Ronald Reagan
The verdict of a jury is the a priori opinion of that juror who smokes H.L. Mencken
the worst cigars.
The wise learn many things from their enemies.
Aristophanes
The urge to destroy is also a creative urge.
Bakunin
The US condones violence in El Salvador.
Vice President Dan Quayle
The worst offense is intelligence. The best defense is belligerence.
Quality of Armor
The worst moment for the atheist is when he is really thankful and
has nobody to thank.
Dante Gabriel Rossetti
The worst part is that she possessed many of the qualities also
desired by superficial man.
Seinfeld
The US Postal Service has announced a new James Dean
commemorative stamp. The stamp will be available beginning this
week, or whenever the hell it feels like it.
Dennis Miller
The USA is so enormous, and so numerous are its schools, colleges Sir Peter Medawar
and religious seminaries, many devoted to special religious beliefs
ranging from the unorthodox to the dotty, that we can hardly
wonder at its yielding a more bounteous harvest of gobbledygook
than the rest of the world put together.
The vast array of better things I have to do than entertain your sorry Martin Frankel
self is quite possibly beyond your imagination.
The vanishing dot on the map of the spot, let me take you there. The They Might Be Giants
dotted line surrounding the mind of a self called nowhere.
The universe is simultaneously elegantly simple and profoundly
complicated.
Adam Rifkin
The unlived life is not worth examining.
John Dobbin
The universe is not required to be in perfect harmony with human
ambition.
Carl Sagan
The United States is like the guy at the party who gives cocaine to
everybody and still nobody likes him.
Jim Samuels
The universe is full of magical things, patiently waiting for our wits Eden Phillpotts
to grow sharper.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are
always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
Bertrand Russell
The whole point of this sentence is to make clear what the whole
point of this sentence is.
Douglas R Hofstadter
The winners never remember and the losers never forget.
Everett Dirksen
The winds and waves are always on the side of the ablest
navigators.
Edward Gibbon
The very ink with which all history is written is merely fluid
prejudice.
Mark Twain
The volume of paper expands to fill the available briefcases.
Jerry Brown
The virgin kleenex tissue is difficult to coax, but once snared is
quickly used and discarded. Thereafter, each tissue is always
aroused and aflutter, eagerly awaiting the next juicy spillage.
Celeste Copland
The weather was foul, or perhaps, duck.
Spike Milligan
The weak and cowardly have no place in shuffleboard.
Phil Hartman
The universe does not have laws
it has habits, and habits can
be broken.
The Universe is just one of those things that happens from time to
time.
Alan Guth
The universe is like a safe to which there is a combination. But the
combination is locked up in the safe.
Peter DeVries
The weakness of democracies is that once a general has been built
up in public opinion it becomes impossible to remove him.
Edouard Daladier
The weather here is more interesting than the people.
Jennifer Jantos
The way to find what the mainstream will do tomorrow is to
associate with the lunatic fringe today.
Jean-Louis Gassee
The way to deal with bureaucrats is with stealth and sudden
violence.
UN Secretary General
Boutros Boutros-Ghali
The way to make money is to start your own religion.
L. Ron Hubbard
The weather is here, wish you were beautiful.
Jimmy Buffet
The way we treat the planet anyone would think we owned it.
Roger McGough
The world can come to us in Fragments, but the fragments
themselves are not the enemy. If your pattern is strong enough, the
fragments will form a whole.
Batik wall hanging
The words are still hanging in the air... you know, like a balloon
attached to her mouth...
When Harry Met Sally
The world is a sick machine.
Green Day
The world is a comedy to those that think, a tragedy to those that
feel.
Horace Walpole
The world has achieved brilliance without conscience. Ours is a
world of nuclear giants and ethical infants.
General Omar Bradley
The worker is the slave of capitalist society, the female is the slave
of that slave.
James Connolly
The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong at the
Ernest Hemingway
broken places. But those that it will not break it kills. It kills the
very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially. If you
are none of these you can be sure it will kill you too but that there
will be no special hurry.
Theatre is Art, Film is Entertainment, Television Is Furniture.
Peter Green
Their Christmas card is a copy of their pre-nuptial agreement.
David Letterman
The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
Mark Twain
The world owes all its onward impulses to men ill at ease. The
happy man confines himself within ancient limits.
Nathaniel Hawthorne
The world belongs to the energetic.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
The world begins to disappear. The worst things come from inside
here. And all the kingsmen reappear for an eggman, falling off for
what will never be together again.
Counting Crows
The woes of Software Engineering are not due to lack of tools, nor Niklaus Wirth
of proper management, but largely due to lack of sufficient
technical competence. A good designer needs to rely on experience,
on precise, logic thinking, on pedantic exactness. No magic will do.
The woman of my dreams knows how to break into systems.
Doug Tygar
The world is my oyster.
Frankie Goes to
Hollywood
The world is not run by thought, nor imagination, but by opinion.
Elizabeth Drew
The world needs ditch diggers too.
Judge Smeals
The world needs people with leadership and compassion to help end Frank Reed Horton
universal human suffering.
The wisest mind has something yet to learn.
George Santayana
The woes of software engineering are not due to lack of tools or
proper management, but largely due to lack of sufficient technical
competence.
Niklaus Wirth
The wonderful thing about standards is that there are so many of
them to choose from.
Grace Murray Hopper
The world is a very cool place.
Miller Brewing Co.
Theatre is a sweet craziness. Once you return home, you are a little
bit smarter.
Tony Montenaro
The world would be happier if men had the same capacity to be
silent that they have to speak.
Baruch Spinoza
The World Record holder for blowing a bugle whilst riding a bike
uphill dragging four hundredweight of pig iron and holding his
breath is buried at...
Spike Milligan
The world revolves around the sun, not your head.
Copernicus
The worst was when my skirt fell down to my ankles. But I had on
thick tights underneath.
Naomi Campbell
The wrong way always seems more reasonable.
George Moore
The worm has turned for Monty Burns. Fate has pressed me to her
scented bosom.
Monty Burns
The world we live in is a result of human choices and, it can be
changed by making better, wiser choices.
Robert Redford
The world will little note nor long remember what we say here.
Abraham Lincoln
The years teach much which the days never know.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Their own government intervenes aggresively in the economy
Guy Molyneux
toblock real-wage growth - thereby effectively guaranteeing that the
benefits of greater productivity flow only to capital, never to labor.
The young man knows the rules but the old man knows the
exceptions.
Oliver Wendell Holmes
Then somebody spoke, and I went into a dream...
The Beatles
The very-good is the enemy of the great.
Rohit Khare
There are lots of women around. Take my wife. Please.
Henny Youngman
There are no good girls gone wrong, just bad girls found out.
Mae West
There are more gadgets available to substitute for a little common
Michelle D. Hudson
sense than have any right to exist.
There are more old drunks than there are old doctors, so I guess we
better have another round.
Willie Nelson
There are no bright sides in the FoRK universe, just the temporary
absence of darkness.
Rohit Khare
There are lots of decaffeinated brands on the market that are just as
tasty as the real thing.
Real Genius
There are lies, damned lies, and statistics.
Benjamin Disraeli quoting
Mark Twain
There is a theory which states that if anyone discovers what the
Douglas Adams
Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be
replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is
another theory which states that this has already happened.
There is a distinct singular American culture - rugged individualism Rush Limbaugh
and self-reliance - which made America great.
There is a dream dreaming us.
Kung Bushman saying
There is a God.
Rush Limbaugh
There is a limit to the practical application of democratic methods.
You can inquire of all the passengers as to what type of car they
like to ride in, but it is impossible to question them as to whether to
apply the brakes when the train is at full speed and accident
threatens.
Leon Trotsky
There is a luxury in self-reproach. When we blame ourselves we
feel that no one else has the right to blame us.
Oscar Wilde
There is a problem in that gcc checks things and gives warnings and Robert Harley
complains when cc would happily compile code full of bugs that the
author, Mr Name Withheld, probably never knew about.
There is a very fine line between good manners and kissing butt.
Bill Maher
There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in
your philosophy.
Hamlet
There are definitely people with whom I have e-mail contact whom Megan Coughlin
I would not generally choose to contact sexually....
There are these horrible Noisy Boys working in the pod kitty-corner Megan Coughlin
to mine, and I was going through batteries on my walkman at the
rate of about two a day.
There are things that are so serious that you can only joke about
them.
Heisenberg
There are some very large people around America today.
Gardner Patrick
There are still places where people think that the function of the
media is to provide information.
Don Rottenberg
There are few good women who do not tire of their role.
La Rochefoucauld
There are far too many dead Seattle musicians.
Michelle Morrell
There has been opposition to every innovation in the history of
man, with the possible exception of the sword.
Benjamin Dana
There are way too many women fighting over a troll.
Howard Stern
There are two ways to tell a sexy male. The first is that he has a bad Bruce Sherrod
memory. I forget the second.
There goes the last lingering threat of my heterosexuality.
Patty and Selma
There comes a time when a man must face up to realities and
confront them. Fortunately, this is not such a time.
Will Sherman
There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.
Henry Kissinger
There can never be surprises in logic.
Ludwig Wittgenstein
The way it happens is that it happens and then you talk about it,
rather than talking about it and then trying to make it happen.
Eric Clapton
The way of the portable computer user is as a stony path strewn
with plugs and sockets, all the wrong size...
Terry Pratchett
The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the
rain.
Dolly Parton
The victor will never be asked if he told the truth.
Adolf Hitler
The way I lost weight ... was to be unemployed and deeply
depressed, sleep through breakfast and lunch, and have very little
money to buy dinner. Will power was not an issue.
Jonathan Elgart
The way a man wins shows much of his character, and the way he
loses shows all of it.
Knute Rockne
There can be hope only for a society which acts as one big family,
and not as many separate ones.
Anwar al-Sadat
Theories are more like graduate students - once admitted you try
hard to avoid flunking them out, it being much better for them and
for the world if they can become long term contributors to society.
Allen Newell
The warning message we sent the Russians was a calculated
ambiguity that would be clearly understood.
Alexander Haig
The want of a thing is perplexing enough, but the possession of it is John Vanbrugh
intolerable.
There is always something to be learned in life... and usually in
school.
Megan Coughlin
There is an explanation for Attila. For Haman. For Cortez. For
Cesare Borgia. For Christie and Speck and Manson, and Nixon ...
and Torquemada. But only the Nemotropin know the explanation,
and they smile as best they can with bloody mandibles.
N is for Nemotropin
There is a destiny that makes us brothers, none goes his way alone.
All that we send into the lives of others comes back into our own.
Edwin Markham
There is a differerence between being different and being new, a
difference between questioning social customs and just being rude,
a difference between being daring and simply breaking rules. Most
people do not understand this difference. It makes them easy to tell
them apart.
Jessica Marrell
There is an astonishing imagination, even in the science of
mathematics... We repeat, there was far more imagination in the
head of Archimedes than in that of Homer.
Voltaire
There is evil ever around, fundamental.
Eva Duarte de Peron
There is hardly anyone whose sexual life, if it were broadcast,
would not fill the world at large with surprise and horror.
William Somerset
Maugham
There is hopeful symbolism in the fact that flags do not wave in a
vacuum.
Arthur C. Clarke
There is less to this than meets the eye.
Tallulah Bankhead
There is more than one way to burn a book. And the world is full of Ray Bradbury
people running about with lit matches.
There is little sense in worrying about winds and storms, for these
William Wallace
things come and go of there own accord. Worry instead about your
ship and crew, your supplies and sails, for over them alone have
you command. Always remember that hard work is the hull of your
ship, and careful planning the rigging that supports your sails. Curse
not the Gods when your hopes and dreams seem certain to be
crushed upon the rocks of reality. For it was you alone who charted
the course, and you alone who must keep your dreams afloat.
There is more difference within the sexes, than between them.
Ivy Compton-Burnett
There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The
Woody Allen
good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much
more.
The effort to understand the universe is one of the very few things
that lifts human life a little above the level of farce and gives it
some of the grace of tragedy.
Steven Weinberg
The environment is in trouble, and the worse it gets, the harder it is
on your skin.
Seventeen
The English certainly and fiercely pride themselves in never
praising themselves.
Wyndham Lewis
The English have no respect for their language, and will not teach
their children to speak it.
G.B. Shaw
The entire humor of which involves three twerps being played by
two people.
Blackadder IV
The excellence of a gift lies in its appropriateness rather than in its
value.
Charles Dudley Warner
The entire software industry runs on coffee just as much as it runs
Dan Sorenson
on electricity.
The employer generally gets the employees he deserves.
Walter Bilbey
The end of the human race is that it will eventually die of
civilization.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
The fact that it works is immaterial.
L. Ogborn
The eye sees only what the mind is prepared to comprehend.
Henri Bergson
The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part.
Jack Handey
The fickleness of the women whom I love is only equalled by the
infernal constancy of the women who love me.
George Bernard Shaw
The extreme always seems to make an impression.
Heathers
The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun.
R. Buckminster Fuller
The fight is won or lost far away from witnesses... behind the lines,
in the gym and out there on the road, long before I dance under
those lights.
Muhammad Ali
The English language is not sufficently expressive to convey how
badly I needed to know that, Mark.
Martin Frankel
The instruction we find in books is like fire. We fetch it from our
neighbors, kindle it at home, communicate it to others, and it
becomes the property of all.
Voltaire
The intelligence of any discussion diminishes with the square of the Adam Walinsky
number of participants.
The idea is like grass. It craves light, likes crowds, thrives on
crossbreeding, grows better for being stepped on.
Ursula K. Le Guin
The human race has had long experience in surviving adversity. But Alan Gregg
we now face the task of surviving prosperity.
The human race is challenged more than ever before to demonstrate Rachel Carson
our mastery, not over nature but of ourselves.
The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is
laughter.
Mark Twain
The idea is, you memorize these things, then write them down in
little exam books, then forget them. If you fail to forget them, you
become a professor and have to stay in college for the rest of your
life.
Dave Barry
The idea is to die young as late as possible.
Ashley Montague
The interference of logic and real life can lead to disastrous
consequences. Stick to one of them...
Jan L.A. van de
Snepscheut
The industrial revolution was neither industrial nor a revolution.
Talk amongst yourselves.
Mike Myers
The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf.
Will Rogers
The inappropriate cannot be beautiful.
Frank Lloyd Wright
The infinitely little have a pride infinitely great.
Voltaire
The intelligent man who is proud of his intelligence is like the
condemned man who is proud of his large cell.
Simone Weil
The infinite monkeys tried to pull a fast one on the public by
producing two nearly identical productions of dichotomal quality.
Adam Rifkin
The eyes are open, the mouth moves, but Mr. Brain is gone.
Blackadder II
The fundamental idea of modern capitalism is not the right of the
individual to possess and enjoy what he has earned, but the thesis
that the exercise of this right redounds to the general good.
Ralph Barton Perry
The future is littered with prizes.
The Lion King
The frog does not drink up the pond in which he lives.
Native American proverb
The future belongs to charismatic communicators who are
technically competent.
Patricia Fripp
The future belongs to the future itself.
Debbie Gibson
The future holds nothing else but confrontation.
Public Enemy
The film was so utterly boring that it actually made me pray to God Mr. Cranky
that Chris Farley would emerge from somewhere and smack into
something at a full run.
The future is now.
Hudsucker Proxy
The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their
dreams.
Eleanor Roosevelt
The goddamn cat never bit you. That was me.
Michelle Hall
The Genie can smell fear.
Tom Price
The genius of you Americans is that you never make clear-cut
Jamal Abdul Nasser
stupid moves, only complicated stupid moves which make the rest
of us wonder at the possibility that we might be missing something.
The glory of a man is knowledge, but the glory of a woman is to
renounce knowledge.
Chinese Proverb
The Golden Rule is of no use to you whatever unless you realize it
is your move.
Frank Crane
The goal should be to stop people from abusing the system, not to
abuse people with the system.
Steve Baum
The goal of all inanimate objects is to resist man and ultimately
defeat him.
Russell Baker
The good Christian should beware of mathematicians and all those
who make empty prophecies. The danger already exists that
mathematicians have made a covenant with the devil to darken the
spirit and confine man in the bonds of Hell.
St. Augustine
The direct use of force is so poor a solution to the problems of
limited resources that it is commonly employed only by small
children and great nations.
David Friedman
The difference between the impossible and the possible lies in
determination.
Tommy Lasorda
The distrust of wit is the beginning of tyranny.
Edward Abbey
The factory of the future will have only two employees, a man and
a dog. The man will be there to feed the dog. The dog will be there
to keep the man from touching the equipment.
Warren Bennis
The doctors told me I had dain bramage.
Bob Nelson
The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do
it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
Woody Allen
The difference between science and the fuzzy subjects is that
Robert Heinlein
science requires reasoning while those other subjects merely require
scholarship.
The easiest kind of relationship for me is with ten thousand people.
The hardest is with one.
Joan Baez
The easiest way for your children to learn about money is for you
not to have any.
Katharine Whitehorn
The downside of coming off junk was I knew I would need to mix Trainspotting
with my friends again in a state of full consciousness. It was awful.
They reminded me so much of myself, I could hardly bear to look at
them.
The dreamers are the ones who conceive of what could happen and
the scientists are the ones who make it happen. The best of
humanity are those who combine both traits.
Peter David
The early bird who catches the worm works for someone who
comes in late and owns the worm farm.
Travis McGee
The dogmas of the quiet past are inadequate to the stormy present... Abraham Lincoln
As our case is new, so we must think anew and act anew.
The difference between Rush Limbaugh and The Hindenburg is that Doonesbury
one is a flaming Nazi gasbag, and one was a dirigible.
The difference between MS Windows and a pet rock is the cost of
upgrades.
Pyotr Filipivich
The difference between the right word and the almost right word is
the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.
Mark Twain
The difference between truth and fiction is that fiction has to make
sense.
Mark Twain
The idea of calm exists in a sitting cat.
Jules Renard
The great masses of the people . . . will more easily fall victims to a Adolf Hitler
great lie than to a small one.
The good news is that opportunity abounds for anybody and
everybody with half a brain. A complete brain is not even required
for success anymore. Only a half-baked plan and the determination
to see the plan through.
Mike Causey
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
Charles de Gaulle
The great majority of artists are throwing themselves in with lifepreservers around their necks, nd more often than not it is the lifepreserver which sinks them.
Henry Miller
The good thing about Vietnam was that there was always
someplace to go, and there was always something to do.
Forrest Gump
The Greys are supposedly space aliens who are taking over the
planet. I surmised that the Greys got you when your X died.
Robert Harley
The greatest problem of communication is the illusion that it has
been accomplished.
George Bernard Shaw
The greatest right in the world is the right to be wrong.
Harry Weinberger
The guy just wanted a kiss, not the story of O.
The Opposite Sex
The groundwork to all happiness is health.
Leigh Hunt
The gulf between knowledge and truth is infinite.
Henry Miller
The greatness of a man can nearly always be measured by his
willingness to be kind.
G. Young
The gothic fad had been done to death. Black clothing is now a bad
joke. Vampires are overrated. Dark, ominous doom music is
depressing by definition. And Anne Rice is a hack. The novelty is
gone. Lighten up, people.
Chester G. Edwards
The Government that Governs Least, Governs Best.
Thomas Jefferson
The government has been satirized for your protection.
Bill Maher
The great thing about multitasking is that several things can go
wrong at once.
Andrew B. Sweger
The Government is the only institution that can take a valuable
commodity like paper, and make it worthless by applying ink.
Ludwig van Moses
The harder you work, the harder it is to surrender.
Vince Lombardi
The heart is a free and fetterless thing - a wave of the ocean, a bird
on the wing.
Julia Pardoe
The hardest thing in life to learn is which bridge to cross and which David Russell
to burn.
The hardest thing about time travel is the grammar.
Douglas Adams
The world is collapsing around our ears. I turned up the radio, I can REM
hear it.
The hardest struggle of all is to be something different from what
the average man is.
Charles M. Schwab
The guy was so worthless than he could have been replaced by two
flashing lights and a non-functional switch.
Steve Thiedke
The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when
you fry them in hot grease.
Gary F. Hevel
The hottest places in hell are reserved for those who, in times of
great moral crisis, maintain their neutrality.
Dante
The hottest places in Hell are reserved for those who in time of
great moral crises maintain their neutrality.
Dante
The hero is one who kindles a great light in the world, who sets up
blazing torches in the dark streets of life for men to see by.
Felix Adler
The Human Body is a wonderful thing, and it deserves a decentsized suitcase.
Dr. Fegg
The human animal differs from the lesser primates in his passion for H. Allen Smith
lists of Ten Best.
The Handicapped Extrotion Gang... I like that anomie...
Rohit Khare
The Halting Problem is Ctrl-C decidable.
Stephan Missura
The greatest gifts you can give your children are the roots of
responsibility and the wings of independence.
Dennis Waitley
The key to life is to become skillful enough to be able to do
rewarding things.
Jim Rohn
The language and concepts contained herein are guaranteed not to
Frank Zappa
cause eternal torment in the place where the guy with the horns and
pointed stick conducts his business.
The kind of people we liked to fight were two feet tall and armed
with grass.
Blackadder IV
The key to this business is personal relationships. Fewer clients,
less money.
Jerry Maguire
The key to being top banana is to never lose touch with the bunch.
Kreegah
The illegal we do immediately. The unconstitutional takes a bit
longer.
Henry Kissinger
The idea of naked women and computers combined really turns me
on.
John Dobbin
The illegal we do immediately. The unconstitutional takes a little
longer.
Henry Kissinger
The Ides of March have come.
Julius Caesar
The key to eating a black and white cookie, Elaine, is you want to
Seinfeld
get some black and some white in each bite. Nothing mixes better
than vanilla and chocolate. And yet, still, somehow racial harmony
eludes us. If people would only look to the cookie. All our problems
would be solved.
The key to finding something is to look where it is.
Tigger
The key to good communication is brevity.
Boston Common
The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching
the egg, not by smashing it.
Arnold H. Glasow
The job of a citizen is to keep his mouth open.
Gunther Grass
The greatest homage to truth is to use it.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
The greatest happiness is to scatter your enemy, to drive him before Genghis Khan
you, to see his cities reduced to ashes, to see those who love him
shrouded in tears, and to gather into your bosom his wives and
daughters.
The great tragedy of Science - the slaying of a beautiful hypothesis
by an ugly fact.
Thomas Henry Huxley
The greatest gift is the passion for reading. It is cheap, it consoles, it Elizabeth Hardwick
distracts, it excites, it gives you knowledge of the world and
experience of a wide kind. It is a moral illumination.
The greatest good you can do for another is not just to share your
riches but to reveal to him his own.
Benjamin Disraeli
The greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our
dispositions and not on our circumstances.
Martha Washington
The greatest happiness comes from the greatest activity.
Bovel
The greatest invention in my lifetime was the Big Gulp.
Reality Bites
The greatest lesson in life is to know that even fools are right
sometimes.
Winston Churchill
The job of the poet is to render the world--to see it and report it
without loss, without perversion. No poet ever talks about feelings.
Only sentimental people do.
Mark Van Doren
The joke about the Computer Scientist, the Frog, and the Princess is Titus Brown
personally relevant to me. Stay Away.
The introspections of conscience help make us human and keep us Anitra L. Freeman
decent. Ironically, those who need such introspection the most have
the least of it.
The journey toward home is not so much finding someone to love
us as discovering how to love ourselves.
Dinah Eng
The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.
Lao-Tsze
The journey of a thousand leagues begins from beneath your feet.
Lao Tzu
the internet is the trailer park for the soul
Marilyn Manson
To stop the flow of music would be like the stopping of time itself,
incredible and inconceivable.
Aaron Copland
Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves.
Abe Lincoln
This spoon is carefully balanced for throwing.
Geoff Spear
This story does NOT contain a naked teenage nympho skydiver
having midair relations with her six instructors and then landing,
still naked, in a cucumber patch. Sorry, folks.
Dawson Rambo
This struct already has a perfectly good definition.
Apple MPW C compiler
error message
This suffering will yield us yet a pleasant tale to tell.
Virgil
This should not be interpreted as an official response of any sort.
Never mind who I am.
Dan Lovinger
Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless
you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.
Dave Barry
Time is a great teacher, unfortuneatly it kills all its pupils.
Hector Berlioz
Time keeps everything from happening at once.
Buckaroo Banzai
Thus, the task is not so much to see what no one yet has seen, but to Schopenhauer
think what nobody yet has thought about that which everybody
sees.
Thus, we can go through the entire movie pretty sure that Forrest
Gump and Good Will Hunting are going to run into each other at
some point and discuss the finer points of advanced math or
chocolates or war morality.
Mr. Cranky
Time has a wonderful way of weeding out the trivial.
Richard Ben Sapir
Time as he grows old teaches all things.
Aeschylus
Those who call the shots are never in the line of fire.
Ani Difranco
Those who can
do.
Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being Plato
governed by those who are dumber.
This useless tidbit thanks to an increasing obsession with reading
Newsweek cover-to-cover each week.
Sam Kass
This race is as tight as a too-small bathing suit on a too-long ride
back from the beach.
Dan Rather
Those who are the most moral are the farthest from the problem.
Anthony
Those who control their passions do so because their passions are
weak enough to be controlled.
William Blake
Those who corrupt the public mind are just as evil as those who
steal from the public purse.
Adlai Stevenson
Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.
George Santayana
Those visiting the House of Unix are not in for a treat. They are
visitors to a U.N. relief mission in the third world, not to
Disneyland.
Unix-Haters Handbook
This president is going to lead us out of this recovery. It will
happen.
Vice President Dan Quayle
This thing with Kurt Cobain has gotten so bad, even the suicide
prevention people are considering ending it all.
Howard Stern
This Universe must not fail.
Sir Oliver Lodge
This principle is so perfectly general that no particular application
of it is possible.
George Polya
This process can check if this value is zero, and if it is, it does
something child-like.
Forbes Burkowski
This parrot is bleeding demised. It is an ex-parrot
John Cleese
This page is intentionally left blank.
IBM
This only grant me, that my means may lie too low for envy, for
contempt too high.
Abraham Cowley
Time travel gives me nosebleeds.
LaForge
Though he soured the milk of human kindness, all is forgiven.
Jellyfish
Though nothing can bring back the hour of splendour in the grass,
of glory in the flower.
William Wordsworth
Thousands of years ago the Egyptians worshiped cats as gods. Cats
have never forgotten this.
Charles Herbig
Thought takes man out of servitude into freedom.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Through the pricking of my thumb, something wicked this way
comes.
Ray Bradbury
Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
Benjamin Franklin
Three books... Wait a minute. Nobody said anything about three
books.
Army of Darkness
Though we travel the world over to find the beautiful, we must
carry it with us or we find it not.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
This flick hits you like a naked senior citizen giving out raisins.
Baked Potatoes
This guy would go home with a gardening tool if it showed interest. Jerry Maguire
This film was so painfully bad, I needed an epidural half way
through it.
Dennis Miller on Swing
Kids
This goes beyond the limits of good taste.
Beavis
This one is an ANSI standard fuse blower.
Steven Hawthorne
Three Fatty Acid Radicals would be an excellent name for a rock
band.
Dave Barry
Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.
Douglas Adams
Time is running out. We must both do something monstrous before
we die.
Hunter S. Thompson to
Ralph Steadman
Time is infinitely long and each day is a vessel into which a great
deal may be poured, if one will actually fill it up.
Johann Wolfgang von
Goethe
Time to put on some excessive force.
Vijay Gill
Time to stop writing specification documents and start executing.
We will execute until everyone is dead. Thank you, drive through.
Faisal Jawdat
Time the destroyer is Time the preserver.
T.S. Elliot
Time to die...
Roy Batty
Those who do not understand Henry Spencer are doomed to quote
him.
John F. Haugh II
Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which
escape those who dream only by night.
Edgar Allen Poe
Those who expect to reap the blessings of freedom must undergo
the fatigue of supporting it.
Thomas Paine
Those who give up a little freedom for a little security, deserve
neither freedom, nor security.
Benjamin Franklin
Those who have mastered etiquette, who are entirely, impeccably
right, would seem to arrive at a point of exquisite dullness.
Dorothy Parker
Those who enjoy the train, and those who do not enjoy the train, get John-Roger Peter
to the same destination at the same time.
McWilliams
Those who worked the hardest are the last to surrender.
Gary Ward
Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent
revolution inevitable.
John F. Kennedy
Thou hast seen nothing yet.
Miguel de Cervantes
Those who live are those who fight.
Victor Hugo
There is no idea so good that everyone benefits.
Thorstein Veblen
There is no happiness where there is no wisdom.
Sophocles
There is no great genius free from some tincture of madness.
Lucius Annaeus Seneca
There is much Obiwan did not tell you.
Darth Vader
There is no defense like a good offense.
Real Genius
There is no CyberSpace, just a lot of people pretending.
Sam Kass
There is no benefit in the gifts of a bad man.
Euripides
There is No God but Sendmail and SMTP is Its Prophet
Hugh Young
There is no better way to exercise the imagination than the study of
the law. No artist ever interpreted nature as freely as a lawyer
interprets the truth.
Jean Giradoux
There is no force so powerful as an idea whose time has come.
Everett Dirkson
There is no distinctly native American criminal class except
Mark Twain
Congress.
There is nothing wrong with sobriety in moderation.
John Ciardi
There is no difference between Time and any of the three
H. G. Wells
dimensions of Space, except that our consciousness moves along it.
There is no excellent beauty that hath not some strangeness in the
proportion.
Francis Bacon
There is no frigate like a book.
Emily Dickinson
There is no expedient to which a man will not resort to avoid the
real labor of thinking.
Sir Joshua Reynolds
There is no passion like that of a functionary for his function.
Georges Clemenceau
There is no public entertainment which does not inflict spiritual
damage.
Tertullian
There is no loyalty. You are Jerry forking Maguire. King of the
house calls. Master of the living room.
Jerry Maguire
There is no greater delight than to be conscious of sincerity on self- Confucius Analects
examination.
There is no greater prude than a reformed prostitute.
Tony Jackson
There is no more dangerous error than that of mistaking the
consequence for the cause.
Friedrich Nietzsche
There is no off position on the genius switch.
David Letterman
There is no need for you to refer us to your lame home page.
Ken Chen
There is no relativity. Some people are just wrong.
Anu Kapoor
There is no proverb that is not true.
Cervantes
There will be time, there will be time to prepare a face to meet the
faces that you meet.
T.S. Eliot
Thomas Jefferson was that funny black guy who was married to
Weezie.
David Letterman
There you go with that word again. Forget proof, it just is.
John Dobbin
This world is a comedy for those who think but a tragedy for those
who feel.
Horace Walpole
This web page is the most self-indulgent, egotistical thing I have
ever done in my life. But the day is young. I can top it.
Scott Adams
This will be a memorable month
no matter how hard you try
to forget it.
This web project is the most self-indulgent, egotistical thing I have
ever done in my life. But the day is young. I can top it.
Scott Adams
Those that give up their freedom in the name of security shall have
less of both and shall deserve neither.
Ben Franklin
Those stars are often a mark of quality.
Mack Rhinelander
This wallpaper is killing me. One of us has to go.
Oscar Wilde
Those German lawmakers seem to be anti-Neo-Nazi Nazis or
something.
Sam Kass
This, of all my professional decisions, has been and will be the most Rohit Khare
charged and charmed one of all.
This was no boating accident.
Jaws
There was never a great genius without a tincture of madness.
Aristotle
There was a slight flaw in this plan. Bullets.
Blackadder IV
There will be a rain dance Friday night, weather permitting.
George Carlin
There ought to be one day... just one... when there is open season on Will Rogers
senators.
There she was, lying in a coma. I could smell the hospital aroma.
Mojo Nixon
There never has been, nor will there ever be, any programming
language in which it is the least bit difficult to write bad code.
Lawrence Flon
There may be a hundred stances and sword positions, but you win
with just one.
Yagyu Munenori
There was such a thing as belief put into action in those days.
Slacker
There needs to be another level like MT-SAFE maybe called MTNOT-FUCKED-BY-HP that could be added to the man pages to
indicate compatibility.
Dmitri Schoeman
Distance lends enhancement to the view.
Thomas Campbell
Distributed computing is where someone tripping over a cable in
another building can ruin your day.
D. Gifford
Disease and deprivation stalk our land like two giant stalking
things.
Blackadder III
Discretion in speech is more than eloquence.
Francis Bacon
Distance and loneliness, of course. Neither of which is desirable in
its unadulterated state. They need to be cut with baking soda.
Adam Rifkin
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and
taste good with ketchup.
Fred Baker
Dissection of the bird doth not reveal the mystery of its flight. But
you do get a gander at its last meal.
Doug Johnson
Discovery consists of seeing what everybody has seen and thinking
what nobody has thought.
Albert Szent-Gyorgi
Divisive dependencies, distributed deadlocks, and partisan
protocols have tightened gridlocks, aggravated race conditions, and
promulgated double standards.
Unix-Haters Handbook
Do not take the entire world upon your shoulders. Do a certain
amount of skylarking, as befits people your age. Skylarking,
incidentally, used to be a minor offense under Naval Regulations.
What a charming crime. It means intolerable lack of seriousness. I
would love to have had a dishonorable discharge from the United
States Navy - for skylarking not just once, but again and again and
again.
Kurt Vonnegut
Do be a do-bee
Miss Sally
Discovery consists in seeing what everyone else has seen and
thinking what no one else has thought.
Albert Szent-Gyorgi
Do be do be do
Frank Sinatra
Do a little dance. Make a little love. Get down tonight.
from the KC and the
Sunshine band song used
in the Ants March a Bud
Bottle Back to the Hill
commercial
Do not meddle in the affairs of Unix, for it is subtle and quick to
core dump.
Unix-Haters Handbook
Lean too much on the approval of people and it becomes a bed of
thorns.
Tehyl Hsieh
This is our NeXT cluster. These are top of the line Macintoshes....
unknown CMU tour guide
Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an Ralph Waldo Emerson
experiment.
Do not be arrogant because of your knowledge, but confer with the
ignorant man as with the learned.
Ptahhotpe
Do not be angry with me if I tell you the truth.
Socrates.
This is only an exhibition. This is not a competition. So please, no
wagering.
David Letterman
This is one American Marine who will always tell the truth, Sir.
Ollie North
Do not count your chickens before they are hatched.
Aesop
Do not needlessly endanger your lives until I give you the signal.
Dwight D. Eisenhower
Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.
John Wooden
Do not dwell in the past. Do not dream of the future. Concentrate
the mind on the present moment.
Buddha
Do not bait Happy Fun Boy.
Dan Martinez
Do no wrong, so clean cut, dirty his hands it comes right off.
Pearl Jam
Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.
Jack Handey
Do not taunt depressed, annoyed, and unencumbered by fears of
retribution in the afterlife, Happy Fun Mark.
Mark Denovich
Do not worry about your future.
Jerry Maguire
Do what you love, love what you do.
Allen Newell
Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.
Theodore Roosevelt
Do not urinate in the direction of the sun.
Pythagoras
Doctor Henry Breault, credited with inventing child proof bottle
caps, died last week. Dozens of friends and relatives attended what
was supposed to be an open casket funeral.
rec.humor.funny
Do you now where the power lays, well it starts and ends with you.
Rancid
Documentation and attachment to slides and WWW is not
complete.
Mani Chandy
This is the sacred appendage compendium party pack.
Blackadder
Think, grasshopper...
Kung Fu
Think of yourself as the body at a Irish wake. They need you in
order to have the party, but nobody expects you to say much.
Anthony Lake
This article is to prevent various automatic software from thinking
this is an empty newsgroup and nuking it. If this had been a real
article you would have become titillated.
Brian Reid
This child is getting wildly out of wing.
The Lion King
This chick is TOAST.
Ghostbusters
This is good beer. Remind me to take this world.
Lost Destiny
This article is an endless litany of bogus conclusions based off of
optimistic, yet flawed assumptions.
Steve Davis
This bag will self-destruct in mother earth.
from a Japanese grocery
bag
This boy is one of the top ten minds in the country. One day I hope
to be two of them.
Real Genius
Thinking is the hardest work a man can do, which is probably why
so few engage in it.
Henry Ford
This is CMU. We all lose.
Derrick Brashear
This is exactly what the geese do. Nice to see that arrogance is not a John Dobbin
uniquely human character trait.
This is a Woozle. His name is Peanut.
Jeff Dunham
This is abuse. Arguments are down the hall.
Monty Python
This is an age for heroes. The test of this century is whether we
mistake the growth of wealth and power for growth of strength and
character.
Vincent Thomas Lombardi
This is a signature Robert Altman film in that it plays out like a
slow-motion train wreck.
Mr. Cranky
This is a one line proof... if we start sufficiently far to the left.
Cambridge University
math professor
This is my graceland.
Ace Ventura
This is my quest, to follow that star, no matter how hopeless, no
matter how far.
Man of la Mancha
This is ice. This is what happens to water when it gets too cold.
This is Kent. This is what happens to a man when he gets too
sexually frustrated.
Real Genius
This is hell. This is hell. I am sorry to tell you, it never gets better or Elvis Costello
worse.
This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown
with great force.
Dorothy Parker
This is no two-bit suckiness we are talking here. This is major
league. Sucks with a capital S. Big time Hooverism.
Reverend Heiny
This is not a book to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown
away with great force.
Dorothy Parker
This is just like spin-the-bottle ... only freakishly wrong.
Mike Wallace
This is the cunning Carla and the long-limbed Lenore.
Forrest Gump
This is the kind of low-grade grad-student abuse the American
Science Establishment was built upon... such vile, ostentatious
cluelessness...
Rohit Khare
This is the stickiest situation since Sticky the stick insect got stuck
on a sticky bun.
Blackadder Goes Forth
This is the sort of English up with which I will not put.
Winston Churchill
This is NOT Mel Torme.
Top Secret
This is more than just a spoke in my menstrual cycle.
Heathers
This is more indicative of your stupidity than any ability I have to
give good advice.
John Dobbin
This is not an abandoned vehicle.
Bumper sticker
This is like being on acid and walking into Disneyland.
unknown www first-timer
This is no time to act like a gentleman. I am a cad and shall react
like one.
George Sanders
This is the thin edge of the wedge, folks.
Anne Harwell
this is the voice you have learned to giggle hysterically at, this is the glamboy
voice of an overly dramatic sample.
This is the true nature of home - it is the place of Peace, the shelter,
not only from injury, but from all terror, doubt and division.
John Ruskin
This is why I have such a hard time with reincarnation. It really
lends a sense of futility to everything.
John Dobbin
This large, nonvoting majority has been winning every election.
Slacker
This line from Shakespeare has delusions of grandeur.
Douglas R Hofstadter
This is, of course, too beautiful for me to put into context.
Paul Mazaitis
This note alone might be cause for putting you in a nice white coat.
John Dobbin
This must be Thursday. I never could get the hang of Thursdays.
Douglas Adams
This is your receipt for your husband...and this is my receipt for
your receipt.
Brazil
This monster is not human. It feels no pain. It cannot be reasoned
with.
Butt-head
This movie... how should I put it... is ruled over by the gods of suck. May Jawdat
This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the Fruit of
the Loom guys laughing at me.
Rodney Dangerfield
There is nothing women hate so much as to see men selfishly
enjoying themselves without the solace of feminine society.
Katharine Tynan Hinkson
VMS is a text-only adventure game. If you win you can use unix.
W. Davidson
Visit the condom god before you visit the love goddess.
Nira
Uh, do you like come here often, huh huh. I said come.
Butt-head
Uh, here you are, sir. Forty-four non-dairy creamers and a straw.
Butt-head
Uh, get out of my car and into my dreams, baby.
Butt-head
Type designers are greedy weenies.
Chank Diesel
Under every stone lurks a politician.
Aristophanes
Uh-oh. She sent him on the dreaded trip to oblivion.
Seinfeld
Unable to locate TEAEARLGREY.HOT
Enterprise halted
Virtual reality makes crack look like Sanka.
Dennis Miller
Virtue has never been as respectable as money.
Mark Twain
Violence in this country is destroying the lives of our children and
endangering our very future. The next Martin Luther King... or
Colin Powell... might not live to adulthood.
Arsenio Hall
Virginians are fed up with a White House run by twentysomething
kids with earrings and an axe to grind.
Ollie North
Vision without action is merely a dream. Action without vision just
passes the time. Vision with action can change the world.
Joel Barker
Virtue is not photogenic.
Kirk Douglas
Virtue is its own punishment.
Aneurin Bevan
Virtue is its own revenge.
E.Y. Harburn
Virtue is not left to stand alone. He who practices it will have
Confucius
neighbors.
Vision is the art of seeing things invisible.
Jonathan Swift
Ultimately, communism cannot be, by definition, imposed by the
state. Evidently, only Gene Roddenberry can pull it off. Er, God
Rest His Ass.
Mike Wallace
Unlike the phone system, the Internet has no Ma Bell or FCC to
Paul Boutin
mandate new policies for the entire system. Not even Microsoft can
make us all upgrade our routers. I think.
Unlike grownups, children have little need to deceive themselves.
Johann Wolfgang von
Goethe
Unlimited campaign spending eats at the heart of the democratic
process.
Barry Goldwater
Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays H. L. Mencken
out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages.
Unless of course you mean one of those surreal dreams where the
Michelle Morrell
characters suddenly sprout wings and fly through a bagel in the sky.
Unless we remember we cannot understand.
Edward M. Forster
Unless you die, you will continue to get older.
Dave Barry
Unrequited love has made me what I am.
Evan Van Wyck Keely
Unless absolutely essential, borrowing to buy a depreciating asset is Caroline Donnelly
dumb.
Two people talking is a conversation. Three is a conspiracy.
Brian Bankler
Two barrels of tears do not heal a bruise.
Chinese Proverb
Two wrongs are only the beginning.
Kohn
Two and two continue to make four in spite of the whine of the
amateur for three, or the cry of the critic for five.
James McNeill Whistler
Twisting under schizophrenia, falling deep into dementia.
Metallica
Um... words...
Butt-head
Two days is like industry standard.
Swingers
Two boys arrived yesterday with a pebble they said was the head of Pablo Picasso
a dog until I pointed out that it was really a typewriter.
Twelve step programs are my new religion.
Too Much Joy
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
Frank Lloyd Wright
Two roads diverged in a wood and I... I took the one less traveled
by, and that has made all the difference.
Robert Frost
Two can Live as Cheaply as One for Half as Long.
Howard Kandel
Turn up the Eagles, the neighbors are listening...
jbay
To iterate is human, to recurse, divine.
Robert Heller
To keep the heart unwrinkled, to be hopeful, kindly, cheerful,
reverent... that is to triumph over old age.
Thomas Bailey Aldrich
To mankind in general, Macbeth and Lady Macbeth stand out as the Max Beerbohm
supreme type of all that a host and hostess should not be.
To invent, you need a good imagination and a pile of junk.
Thomas Edison
To humanize the facts, figures and financial data of our annual
report, we decided to aim it at a real-live person, a typical investornext-door. We chose Cindy Crawford.
Pepsico
To love another person is to see the face of God.
Les Miserables
To have a horror of the bourgeois is bourgeois.
Jules Renard
To him who is in fear, everything rustles.
Sophocles
To my mind, the life of a lamb is no less precious than that of a
human being. I should be unwilling to take the life of the lamb for
the sake of the human body. I hold that, the more helpless a
creature, the more entitled it is to protection by man from the
cruelty of man.
Mahatma Gandhi
To my surprise I find out I have a great imagination.
Ivana Trump
To most people nothing is more troublesome than the effort of
thinking.
James Bryce
To me, the acceptable level of fecal matter is... zero.
Richard Jeni
Tune in. Turn on. Drop out.
Timothy Leary
To me, everyone is a confused liberal.
John Dobbin
To reform a man, you must begin with his grandmother.
Victor Hugo
To me, coming from you, friend is a four letter word.
Cake
To me gold is just as fucking useless as little green portraits on
paper. Unless I need to make some false teeth or something. Make
the standard something based on something I could use, like felatio
or intercourse. Mac machines would be really handy, but would
take longer, and there is always a penalty for early withdrawl.
Mark Denovich
To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.
Oscar Wilde
To look for a genetic explanation for phenomena like violence in
society is the classical story of the drunk looking for the key under
the lamp-post because that it where the light is.
Steven Rose
To women who want babies. I, handsome, WM, will inseminate the Guardian
natural way.
To write a love letter, we must begin without knowing what we
intend to say and end without knowing what we have written.
Jean-Jacques Rousseau
To waste, to destroy our natural resources, to skin and exhaust the
land, will result in undermining our children.
Theodore Roosevelt
To swallow and follow, whether old doctrine or new propaganda, is Charlotte P. Gilbert
a weakness still dominating the human mind.
To teach is to learn
Japanese Proverb
To sum it up, ... A computer scientist needs a tie like a bat needs
Robert Rodgers
sunglasses. A computer scientist needs a tie like a composer needs a
stroke. A computer scientist needs a tie like a prostate needs cancer.
A computer scientist needs a tie like an opera needs a chainsaw. A
computer scientist needs a tie like baby food needs glass shards. A
computer scientist needs a tie like kool aide needs cyanide.
To ridicule philosophy is really to philosophize.
Blaise Pascal
To live is so startling, it leaves little time for anything else.
Emily Dickinson
To know recursion, you must first know recursion
John Holder
To think too long about doing a thing often becomes its undoing.
Eva Young
Toaster-caked him.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Vanna White said since her son has been born she wants to work
Dennis Miller
less. Vanna... you turn tiles for a living... if you worked any less
you would be the triangle player in the K.C. and the Sunshine Band.
USENET is a wonderful mechanism for making a fool of yourself
in front of a very large audience.
Lars Poulsen
Usenet is a cesspool, a dung heap.
Patrick A. Townson
Vidi, vici, veni. I saw, I conquered, I came.
Don Juan
Using federal dollars as a measure, our cities have not been
neglected, but poisoned with welfare dependency funds.
Rush Limbaugh
Using these toolkits is like trying to make a bookshelf out of
mashed potatoes.
Jamie Zawinski
Waging a war between good and evil can be a bore.
Madonna
Wake up and smell the cat food in your bank account.
They Might Be Giants
Waldo is RIGHT and will remain right.
Rohit Khare
Wal-Mart is to shopping what Buchenwald was to health spas.
Harlan Ellison
Wake up. Time to die.
Blade Runner
Valuable advertising time going by... Valuable advertising time
going by... Dollars... dollars... dollars.
Billy Joel
Usually, terrible things that are done with the excuse that progress
requires them are not really progress at all, but just terrible things.
Russell Baker
Very funny. I make computers do what I want for a living. If I was
stupid enough not to hit the on switch when I wanted to turn
something on, I should just please to be shooting myself. Instead, I
will bide my time, and shoot Ted.
Fleur Dragan
Utility is when you have one telephone, luxury is when you have
Doug Larson
two, opulence is when you have three... and paradise is when you
have none.
Usurpers always choose troubled times to enact, in the atmosphere
of general panic, laws which the public would never adopt when
passions were cool.
Jean-Jacques Rousseau
Vauw is danish for the sound Wauw.
Ulla Binau
Use the cyanide tooth only in the worst-case scenario.
Baked Potatoes
Use the talents you possess, for the woods would be a very silent
place if no birds sang except the best.
Henry Van Dyke
Used to be I ran to get where I was going. I never though it would
take me anywhere.
Forrest Gump
Using TSO is like kicking a dead whale down the beach.
S. C. Johnson
Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things.
Senator Dan Quayle
Verbing weirds language.
Calvin
Venus Envy.
Rita Mae Brown
Think like a man of action and act like a man of thought.
Henri Bergson
Think it over, creep.
Robocop
Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by
those who hustle.
Abraham Lincoln
Things go better with fat.
Jen Zinn
Think of it as reality and it becomes reality.
John Dobbin
Things fall apart, the center cannot hold.
W.B. Yeats
Things you want to pound and pound with a shovel...
Laura Ferguson
Things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way
things turn out.
Art Linkletter
Things will get better, despite our efforts to improve them.
Will Rogers
They only recognize greatness when some authority confirms it.
Calvin
They laughed at Edison and Einstein, but somehow I still feel
uncomfortable when they laugh at me.
Ashleigh Brilliant
They keep telling us that in war truth is the first casualty, which is
Alexander Cockburn
nonsense since it implies that in times of peace truth stays out of the
sick bay or the graveyard.
They should all be caned. I love that caning.
Howard Stern
They said it was a million dollar wound, but the army must keep
that money.
Forrest Gump
They really took him to the bank on that one.
Thanh Boyer
These are the days of lasers in the jungle, staccato signals of
Paul Simon
constant information...
Things are more like they are today than they ever were before.
Dwight Eisenhower
They have treated Clinton as if he was a black president.
Toni Morrison
Things are going to get a lot worse before things get worse.
Unix-Haters Handbook
Things are not always what they seem.
Phaedrus
They laughed at Joan of Arc, but she went right ahead and built it.
Gracie Allen
They just pretend to pay us, so we just pretend to work.
Soviet saying
There is no substitute for excellence-not even success.
Thomas Boswell
There is no such thing as a functional illiterate.
Kelvin Throop
There is no silver bullet.
Frederick Brooks
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
George Bernard Shaw
There is nothing more exhilarating than to be shot at without result. Churchill
There is perhaps in every thing of any consequence, secret history,
which it would be amusing to know, could we have it authentically
communicated.
James Boswell
There is nothing more fearful than imagination without taste.
Johann Wolfgang von
Goethe
There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are
well written or badly written.
Oscar Wilde
There is no such thing as a minor lapse of integrity.
Tom Peters
There is no reward for love except the experience of loving, and
nothing to be learned by it except humility.
John le Carre
There is no satisfaction in hanging a man who does not object to it
G.B. Shaw
There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about,
and that is not being talked about.
Oscar Wilde
There is nothing rarer than the ability to recognise ability.
Robert Half
There is nothing so habit forming as money.
Dan Marquis
There is nothing so fatal to character as half-finished tasks.
David Lloyd George
There is nothing more frightful than ignorance in action.
Johann Wolfgang von
Goethe
There is nothing so practical as a good theory.
Kurt Lewin
There is one in every crowd, and they always find me.
Bumper sticker
There is one thing stronger than all the armies in the world, and that Victor Hugo
is an idea whose time has come.
There is only one difference between a madman and me. I am not
mad.
Salvador Dali
There is someone for everyone, even if you need a pick-ax, a
compass, and night goggles to find them.
LA Story
There is only one honest impulse at the bottom of Puritanism, and
that is the impulse to punish the man with a superior capacity for
happiness.
H.L. Mencken
There is such a fine line between goth and skanky biker ho.
Carl Graci
There is something wrong when critics say the problem with
America is too much religion.
Rush Limbaugh
There is something fascinating about science. One gets such
wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of
fact.
Mark Twain
There is nothing more difficult to take in hand, or perilous to
Niccolo Machiavelli
conduct, or more uncertain in its success, than to take the lead in the
introduction of a new order of things.
They will not listen to anyone, so nobody tells them a lie.
Billy Joel
They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape Edgar Allan Poe
those who dream only by night.
They should start bundling clue with the linux kernel.
Len Lanphar
They should make red vine pie.
Robert Harley
They never met. They never spoke. But respected MTV news
anchor Kurt Loder believes that if he had gotten to know Kurt
Cobain, his reminiscences would go a little something li ke this.
Kurt on Kurt
They never taste who always drink. They always talk who never
think.
Matthew Prior
They made love as though they were an endangered species.
Peter de Vries
They LOVE us in Belgium.
Singles
They told me it would disrupt my life less if I got killed sooner.
Joseph Heller
They wanted someone good. Story of my life.
Homer Simpson
There is no such thing as a New Democrat.
Rush Limbaugh
They were all in love with Diane, they were drinking from a
fountain that was pouring like an avalanche, coming down a
mountain.
Butthole Surfers
They were doing a full back shot of me in a swimsuit and I thought, Cindy Crawford
Oh my God, I have to be so brave. See, every woman hates herself
from behind.
They spell it da Vinci and pronounce it da Vinchy. Foreigners
always spell better than they pronounce.
Mark Twain
Unix teaches us about the transitory nature of all things, thus
ridding us of samsaric attachments and hastening enlightenment.
Michael Travers
Unix programs tend to die from curable diseases, accidents, and
Unix-Haters Handbook
negligence, just as people do.
Unix is hacker crack.
Unix-Haters Handbook
Under the most vigorously controlled conditions of temperature,
pressure, density, humidity, and other variables, the organism will
do as it damn well pleases.
Harvard Law
Unfortunately, every contest there must have a loser. Looo. Ser.
Ace Ventura
Unix is the Midas of shit.
Robert Rodgers
Unix is computer-scientology, not computer science.
Dave Mankins
Unix is an exponential algorithm with a seductively small constant.
Scott Draves
These stupid holidays are making me feel more divorced. The
songs, the chocolate, the eating...
Jerry Maguire
These sound like a happy bunch.
John Dobbin on alt.angst
These proof techniques generalize because UNITY is a complete
logic.
Mani Chandy
These pretzels are making me thirsty.
Seinfeld
Unix gives you enough rope to shoot yourself in the foot.
H. Peter Anvin
Unix is a computer virus with a user interface.
Unix Haters Handbook
Understand that Tim is always right. The sooner you fully grok this Tim Byars
the easier your life will become.
US-CA-LA OO GUI Tool Demo for Consultants and Programmers. Rohit Khare
Until the lions have their historians, tales of the hunted will always
glorify the hunter.
African proverb
Until the day animals stand up and demand equal rights, I have the
right to eat them.
Jeff Mink
Until a man is twenty-five, he still thinks, every so often, that under Neal Stephenson
the right circumstances he could be the baddest motherfucker in the
world. If I moved to a martial-arts monastery in China and studied
real hard for ten years. If my family was wiped out by Columbian
drug dealers and I swore myself to revenge. If I got a fatal disease,
had one year to live, devoted it to wiping out street crime. If I just
dropped out and devoted myself to being bad.
Unity is not an unattainable dream if we only would dream to attain Billy Gates
it.
Unfortunately, it seems that the way Usenet is set up, women are
the zebras, and men are the lions, and the Internet is one big
Serenghetti.
Chris Zelek
Unfortunately, perceptions of the Linux community are shaped by
Pankaj Chowdhry
Web sites such as www.slashdot.org, where self-styled experts who
have the collective IQ of an AOL CD post inflammatory
propaganda.
Up the voltage.
Real Genius
UNIX was never designed to keep people from doing stupid things, Doug Gwyn
because that policy would also keep them from doing clever things.
Unfortunately, the people of Louisiana are not racists.
Vice President Dan Quayle
Union Factions Want New Heads.
AP headline
These people write specifications like old people fuck.
Sean Simmons
They can hold all the peace talks they want, but there will never be Dave Barry
peace in the Middle East. Billions of years from now, when Earth is
hurtling toward the Sun and there is nothing left alive on the planet
except a few microorganisms, the microorganisms living in the
Middle East will be bitter enemies.
They call it impiety and lack of propriety and quite a variety of
unpleasant names.
Tom Lehrer
They are not the hell your whales.
Spock
These dudes are seminiferous tubeloidial butt noids.
Butt-head
These laboratories do not pass the test for ethics and respect for the
consumer, They must be treated like bacteria which must be fought
without respite.
Renan Calheiros
These guys are like a combination between Stone Temple Pilots and Butt-head
uhh... regular guys.
These guys are like a combination between Stone Temple Pilots and Beavis
the guys from Hee Haw.
They already think the writing of shell scripts is a natural act.
Ken Pier
They also ate at this place where they ordered by making the sound
of the animal they were ordering. Istanbul moved up a little on my
places to visit list.
John Dobbin
They all laughed at Albert Einstein. They all laughed at Columbus.
Unfortunately, they also all laughed at Bozo the Clown.
William Jeffereys
These words annoy me because they are overused and often used in John Thornley
the wrong context. I get most of these words from group meetings.
Empower, facilitate, leverage, synergy, ubiquitous, utilize.
They always say that time changes things, but you actually have to
change them yourself.
Andy Warhol
They are innocent, unless proven guilty beyond reasonable doubt.
Now go convict these two hooligans.
judge to Beavis and Butthead
They had all the taste of gym socks, and all the texture of pop rocks. Adam Rifkin
They had a real drag down and knock up fight.
Thanh Boyer
They had this look in their eyes. Totally cold, animal. Must have
been young republicans.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
They are seldom found out, because they gravitate to the kind of
David Ogilvy
clients who, bamboozled by their rhetoric, do not hold them
responsible for sales results. Their campaigns find favor at cocktail
parties in New York, San Francisco and London but are taken less
seriously in Chicago. In the days when I specialized in posh
campaigns for The New Yorker, I was the hero of this coterie, but
when I graduated to advertising in mass media and wrote a book
which extolled the value of research, I became its devil. I comfort
myself with the reflection that I have sold more merchandise than
all of them put together.
They have a hiring freeze on white males. Call me Ishmael.
Jim Hong
They even dressed they horses up in the bedsheets, and so she
named me after him to remind me about all the silly things people
DO.
Forrest Gump
They gave each other a smile with a future in it.
Ring Lardner
They give shameless a new meaning, which is one of the reasons I
really like monkeys.
Professor Beildelman
welcome to shadowscene, the land of the dark and stupid. so dark,
even our ideas appear as black lights... or something like that. and
the bounds of our stupidity is only matched by the length of that
goddamn ... thread.
Steve Archer
Welcome to reality, where the only guarantees come from within.
Adam Rifkin
Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track
myself.
Dirty Harry
Well, you know, the snobs list is very selective. After all, you have
to ask me to be on the list.
Richard Bullington
Well, there was the process of sitting around and wishing I had
more computer stuff.
Dilbert
Well, some people think it means, my name is Dick, and you can
touch me... but I think you can look at it both ways.
Singles
Well, it looks like the excrement has hit the rotating oscillator.
Faisal Premji
Well, it has Mosaic and Mac in the title. I think that means it sucks. Bruce Sherrod
Well, I looked at my options, and I saw that my option was
chocolate chip cookies.
Debbie Fields
Well, I saw Hackers last night.... It was flashy, gorgeous, stylish,
and appallingly dumb - much like many people I know.
Nikki Gustas
Well, I think that everything is happening all the time, and the only
reason why we think of time linearly is because we are conditioned
to do it.
Frank Zappa
Well begun is half done.
Aristotle
Wet ducks never fly at night.
Dick Martin
Were it left for me to decide whether we should have a government Thomas Jefferson
without newspapers, or newspapers without a government, I should
not hesitate amoment to prefer the latter.
Well, it puts a bad day in perspective.
Calvin
Well the devil she must be a dentist, with deep jawbreaker eyes.
Red rope hair, gum drop lips, cotton candy thighs...
Presidents of the USA
Were there no God we would be in this glorious world with grateful Christina Rossetti
hearts and no one to thank.
Were we to be directed from Washington when to sow and when to
reap we should soon want bread.
Thomas Jefferson
What a distressing contrast there is between the radiant intelligence
of the child and the feeble mentality of the average adult.
Sigmund Freud
Well done is better than well said.
Benjamin Franklin
Welcome to the Maxi pad.
Reality Bites
Well you see, they drove some tanks into a no-fly zone. You know,
special Iraqi flying tanks.
Robert Harley
Well, C is like BASIC with Pascal laid over it.
Matt Sorrels
What one believes to be true either is true or becomes true.
John Lilly
What is wrong with our safety net is that too many people are using Rush Limbaugh
it as a hammock.
What is waiting to be born is a psychedelic ethic, a moral vision
that could be a counterweight to the Fundamentalist vision and the
Existentialist vision, both of which are observed to be inadequate.
Ethics on the basis of symbiosis with the natural environment.
Terence McKenna
What people mean by the word technology is anything invented
after they were born.
Alan Kay
What makes old age so sad is not that our joys but our hopes cease.
Jean Paul Richter
What maintains one vice would bring up two children.
Ben Franklin
What I would not give for a sock filled with manure.
Woody Allen
What I would like for my birthday is for some sun and someone to
decide on what I am going to do for the rest of my life.
Jennifer Rifkin
What kills a skunk is the publicity it gives itself.
Abraham Lincoln
What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters
compared to what lies within us.
Oliver Wendell Holmes
What a strange illusion it is to suppose that beauty is goodness.
Leo Tolstoy
What bereaved people need is a little comic relief, and that is why
funerals are so farcical.
George Bernard Shaw
What can you say about a society that says God is dead and Elvis is Irv Kupcinet
alive.
What I wanted to be when I grew up was - in charge.
Brigadier General Wilma
Vaught
Weasel Nostrils is a good name for a rock band.
Dave Barry
Weaned on nighttime soaps and The Bonfire of the Vanities, it
Suck
makes sense that new media youngsters would try to squeeze a
novel or a book out of what they do for a living. But any book that
relies solely on an employment milieu for mass appeal had better be
set in a brothel, because despite all our talk of reach-arounds and
prostituting ourselves, there is nothing inherently sexy about going
to work.
What is missing from the net is a clapometer which is basically why Tim Berners-Lee
people still meet.
What is meant by the circle and squares is that the sound is like a
curve.
Shannon Cotterell
What is done well is done quickly enough.
Augustus Caesar
What a man misses most in heaven is company.
Mark Twain
What is food to one, is to others bitter poison.
Lucretius
What is a good Christian to say except that radical feminism is the
work of Satan.
Andy Byler
You may not be really hot, but I bet you like to do it.
Butt-head
You may be getting interference from the war between the Beast
and the King of Lambs. Reboot and try again after a few
tribulations
Ruben Bolling
You may be capable of great things, but life consists of small
things.
Deng Ming-Dao
You lie like a sheet.
Adam Rifkin
you like jerks. fortunately, that fact makes this conversation
possible.
Chris Heiser
You lie about the things you lie about.
Too Much Joy
You let life get in your way.
Love Spit Love
You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it.
Margaret Thatcher
You know you have a small apartment when Rice Krispies echo.
S. Rickly Christian
You may find that your self doubt means that nothing ever was
there.
Green Day
You may have heard that a dean is to faculty as a hydrant is to a
dog.
Alfred Kahn
You may know what you need, but to get what you want better see
that you keep what you have.
Steven Sondheim
You may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile.
Talking Heads
You have no business sense. Only laziness sense.
Adam Rifkin
You have no idea how weird it is to attend a funeral for a man with
exactly the same name as you.
John Dobbin
You got a head like a bowl full of cherries.
David Byrne
You got to do what you can, and let Mother Nature do the rest.
Meat Loaf
You gotta draw the line somewhere.
Mason to Dixon
You know that when the truth is told that you can get what you
want, or you can just get old.
Billy Joel
You know the day destroys the night, Night divides the day, Try to
run, try to hide, break on through to the other side.
The Doors
You know, there are this few virgins without minotaurs, imagine
what things would be like if every city had a minotaur.
John Dobbin
You look like someone from a Renaissance painting... someone
scurrying around in the background emptying chamber-pots or the
like.
a friend to Cosma Rhilla
Shalizi
You look like an undercover cop trying to look hip.
So I Married an Axe
Murderer
You look as happy as a man who thought a cat had done its
business on his pie but then it turned out to be a really big
blackberry.
Blackadder III
You look like... a doily.
Reality Bites
You live and learn. At any rate, you live.
Douglas Adams
Your brain would make a grain of sand seem large and ungainly.
Blackadder
Your AuthMan icon seems to have disappeared. Oh my God, you
must feel so insecure.
Anu Kapoor
Your brilliant idea may be combined with a small number of coins
to facilitate the procurement of a hot caffeinated beverage. Show
me the management team.
Faisal Jawdat
Your bottom will wish it had never been born.
Blackadder II
You know, after that book, hearing Don talk about watching the
working girls go by has a whole new meaning...
John Dobbin
Your anecdotal evidence has thwarted me. Lo, I hang my head in
shame.
Mark Denovich
Your friend is your needs answered.
Kahlil Gibran
Your greatest strength is that you fear everything.
Charles Bukowski
Your friends love you anyway.
Dave Barry
Your conscience is the measure of the honesty of your selfishness.
Listen to it carefully.
Richard Bach
Your fault
core dumped.
Young people should be out complicating their lives. Will give
them something to talk to their therapist.
Suzanne Zamora
Your children need your presence more than your presents.
Jesse Jackson
You know too much Van Helsing for one who has lived but one
lifetime.
Dracula
You know, it is so sad. All of your knowledge of high culture
comes from Bugs Bunny cartoons.
Elaine on Seinfeld
You know, knowledge is a tricky thing...
Friends
You know, I think it would be kind of funny to give Paul Hill a
choice between the electric chair and lethal injection.
Dennis Miller
You know, our young Steve has said so many things ...and their
contrary.
Jean-Louis Gassee
You get what you pay for.
Gabriel Biel
You gotta look out for Goddamn number-one, pardon-the-vulgarity. Hero
You should never wear your best trousers when you go out to fight
for freedom and liberty.
Henrick Ibson
You should not live one way in private, another in public.
Publilius Syrus
You should never have a hobby that eats.
Amarillo Slim Preston
You should hear the noise she makes when she eats a boiled egg.
Blackadder IV
You should either call your rock band Better Than Plastic or
Monkeys on Coke.
Howard Stern
You must have been warned against letting the golden hours slip
James M. Barrie
by. Yes, but some of them are golden only because we let them slip
by.
You need to create aliases dobbinh dobbinb dobbinj dobbink
dobbinm...
John Dobbin
You need only reflect that one of the best ways to get yourself a
C.A. Beard
reputation as a dangerous citizen these days is to go about repeating
the very phrases which our founding fathers used in the struggle for
independence.
You need more tact in the dangerous art of giving presents than in
any other social action.
William Bolitho
You shut your mouth, how can you say I go about things the wrong the Smiths
way. I am human and I need to be loved just like everybody else
does.
You snored like a whale.
Thanh Boyer
You see, to me, the art of music is listening to it, not playing it. The Keith Richards
real art of it is hearing it.
You realize, of course, that this means war.
Bugs Bunny
You see, I recently discovered that my soul mate had been very
close to me all along. Attatched to my right wrist, as a matter of
fact.
Cliff Judge
You see the glass as half full, I see it as almost broken.
John Dobbin
You say tomato, I say harrassment.
Adam Rifkin
You say tomato, I say hubba hubba.
Adam Rifkin
You realize, of course, that it snowed in Pittsburgh yesterday. Fuck
you.
Marc Unangst
You put the art back in fart.
Sam Greenfield
You seen one redwood, you seen them all.
Ronald Reagan
You must believe in God in spite of what the clergy say.
Benjamin Jowett
you know I made several points that were way better and more
intelegent then that. but they didnt include them cause the media
sucks.
Steve Archer
You just play one on screen.
Adam Rifkin
You gotta love a medicine that comes with a shot glass.
Dennis Leary on Ny-Quil
You gotta wonder, with his beard, civil rights record, and jewishsounding name, if Lincoln would even be let into the Republican
party now.
Bill Maher
You have a body in the car, minus a head in the garage. Take me
there.
Pulp Fiction
You guys are all a bunch of deviants.
Real Genius
You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it
means.
Princess Bride
You killed Ted, you medieval dickweed
Bill
You people are so stupid. You throw it all away.
subUrbia
You only beat me if you get me to hate.
Billy Joel
You never know what you will be attracted to... or who you will
love... till it happens to you.
Jaye Davidson
You only live once, but if you work it right, once is enough.
Joe Lewis
You have to regard everything I say with suspicion - I may be
trying to bullshit you, or I may just be bullshitting you
inadvertantly.
J. Wainwright
You have to decide at the end of the day if you can live with
yourself.
Princess Anne
You have to feel the delete. Be the delete.
Jeremy Werner and Brian
Hales
You have to travel to America to truly understand what it means to
think big.
Volker Wieland
You have succeeded in life when all you really want is only what
you really need.
Vernon Howard
You have to suffer to be beautiful.
Megan Coughlin
You have to see the sex act comically, as a child.
W. H. Auden
You have to find something to do while washing. There is only so
much time you can spend admiring the fresh smell of irish spring.
Richard Goodman
You Have to Suffer to be Beautiful. You know, this would make a
good title for a whole book.
John Dobbin
Wherever there is a human being, there is a opportunity for
kindness.
Lucius Annaeus Seneca
Where there is an income tax, the just man will pay more and the
unjust less on the same income.
Plato
Where there is much light there is also much shadow.
Johann Wolfgang von
Goethe
Whether to kill yourself is one of the most important decisions a
teenager has to make.
Heathers
Whether they give or refuse, women are glad to have been asked.
Ovid
Where education with dedication begins, greatness is always
possible.
J.H. Simon
Whether women are better than men I cannot say, but I can say they Golda Meir
are certainly no worse.
Whether they ever find life there or not, I think Jupiter should be
considered an enemy planet.
Jack Handey
Whether you are quiet and ALIVE or quiet and DEAD makes no
difference to CEREBUS.
Cerebus the Aardvark
Where, unwilling, dies the rose, buds the new, another year.
Dorothy Parker
We have them just where they want us.
Captain James T. Kirk
We have the power to make this the best generation of mankind in
the history of the world - or to make it the last.
John F. Kennedy
We have met the enemy, and he is us.
Walt Kelly
We have met the enemy and he is us. We are surrounded by an
insurmountable opportunity.
Pogo
We have, I fear, confused power with greatness.
Stewart Udall
We have too many high sounding words, and too few actions that
correspond with them.
Abigail Adams
We have virtual intelligence. Virtual cigarettes too. These are
dumb.
John Dobbin
Where he learned to wield a claw-hammer with such force is a
mystery that remains to be answered...
Megan Coughlin
While we are free to choose our actions, we are not free to choose
the consequences of our actions.
Stephen Covey
Who begins too much accomplished little.
German Proverb
Whining is anger through a small opening.
Stuart Smalley
Where I come from, when a Catholic marries a Lutheran it is
considered the first step on the road to Minneapolis.
Garrison Keillor
Where much is expected from an individual, that individual may
rise to the level of events and make the dream come true.
Elbert Hubbard
Where sex is concerned, fire is a bad thing. Pubic hair burns too
damn well.
John Dobbin
Where others crouched and crawled and prayed, I stand the selfdoomed unafraid.
James Joyce
We have no voodoo.
Dan Zimmerman on why
they can get it to work and
we cannot
We do the best with what God gave us.
Forrest Gump
We do not remember days. We remember moments.
Cesare Pavese
We do not talk - we bludgeon one another with facts and theories
gleaned from cursory readings of newspapers, magazines and
digests.
Henry Miller
We eat a precious mix of wild imagination.
Miroslav Prstojevic in
Sarajevo
We have got to find a way to turn off MTV, and get out and meet,
talk, dance, and relate to each other as real people. All of us. The
short, tall, fat, shy, old, young, warm, happy, beautiful people that
we are.
Gordon Irlam
We know the human brain is a device to keep the ears from grating
on one another.
Peter de Vries
We have been pushing the idea that George Bush is going to make
matters much, much worse.
Vice President Dan Quayle
We have a few lies that we can use to make bigger lies, called
network models.
Felipe Cabrera
We have drugs to make women speak, but none to keep them silent. Anatole France
We have deep depth.
Yogi Berra
We experience moments absolutely free from worry. These brief
respites are called panic.
Cullen Hightower
We have a God who delights in impossiblities.
Andrew Murray
We have always held to the hope, the belief, the conviction that
Franklin D. Roosevelt
there is a better life, a better world, beyond the horizon.
We have a piper down.
So I Married an Axe
Murderer
We live by encouragement and die without it... slowly, sadly,
angrily.
Celeste Holm
We live in a cynical world, and we work in a business with tough
competitors... I love you.
Jerry Maguire
We have that Indian scene. We can get the Indians from the
reservoir.
Samuel Goldwyn
We invented credit cards, suburban shopping malls, and day care
Robert X. Cringely
just to make our consumerism more efficient. We sent our wives,
husbands, children, and grandparents out to work, just to pay for all
the stuff we wanted - needed - to buy.
We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his
hands for masturbation.
Lily Tomlin
We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we
give.
Mary Ann Evans
We make ourselves a ladder out of our vices if we trample the vices St. Augustine
themselves underfoot.
We judge others by their actions, but we judge ourselves by our
intentions.
Jerry Wunder
We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others
judge us by what we have done.
Henry Wadsworth
Longfellow
We knew the world would not be the same. A few people laughed, a J. Robert Oppenheimer
few people cried. Most people were silent.
We made too many wrong mistakes.
Yogi Berra
We love you very much. If you were Jeffrey Dahmer, we would
still love you.
Flirting with Disaster
Whenever A annoys or injures B on the pretense of saving or
improving X, A is a scoundrel.
H.L. Mencken
Whenever a woman dies there is one less quarrel in the world.
German Proverb
When you want something real bad... that is exactly the way you get William C. Lafield, Jr.
it.
When your heart is in your dream, no request is too extreme.
Jiminy Cricket
Whenever there has been talk of exterminating rats, others, who
were not rats, have been exterminated.
Gunter Grass
Whenever they burn books they will also, in the end, burn human
beings.
Heinrich Heine
Whenever I hear Soul Asylum, I want to dive right down into the
mosh pit.
David Letterman
Whenever the HotWired engineers start taking me too seriously, I
just ask them if they want to look at my JavaScript code.
Paul Boutin
Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is
time to reform.
Mark Twain
Whenever I hear anyone arguing for slavery, I feel a strong impulse Abraham Lincoln
to see it tried on him personally.
Whenever you fall, pick something up.
Oswald Theodore Avery
Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.
Oscar Wilde
When you hire people who are smarter than you are, you prove you R.H. Grant
are smarter than they are.
While it is true that not all the victims were Jews, it is true that all
of the Jews were victims.
Elie Wiesel
When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains,
however improbable, must have been caused by an incompetent
grad student.
Andrew Plotkin
When you intuit, you make an int out of you and it.
Brian Fitzgerald
When you kill time, remember that it has no resurrection.
The Ohio Mason
When you grow up playing Missile Command, you come to expect J.C. Herz
some kind of causal relationship between the choices you make and
the images on the screen... videogames are perfect training for life
in fin de siecle America, where daily existence demands the ability
to parse sixteen kinds of information being fired at you
simultaneously from telephones, televisions, fax machines, pagers,
personal digital assistants, voice messaging systems, postal
delivery, email, and the Internet... you have to recognize patterns in
this whirl of data, and you have to do it fast.
When you go in search of honey you must expect to be stung by
bees.
Kenneth Kaunda
Which then gets recycled back to earth in the form of infinite
monkeys. Or us, if we can outbid them on the next contract.
Adam Rifkin
While Eeyore frets, and Piglet hesitates, and Rabbit calculates, and
Owl pontificates, Pooh just is.
Benjamin Hoff
While man has a sex, woman is a sex.
Elizabeth Belfort Bax
While one person hesitates because he feels inferior, another is busy Henry C. Link
making mistakes and becoming superior.
When you say that you agree to a thing in principle, you mean that
you have not the slightest intention of carrying it out.
Otto von Bismarck
When you get killed you lose an important part of your life.
Brooke Shields
When you fully understand the frog, then you have attained
enlightenment.
Suzuki
When you attain Nirvana you pun in the subconscious state.
Mani Chandy
When you can finish your paper in the middle of a good base ogg,
you will be ready to leave the temple.
Faisal Jawdat
When you assume you make an ASS out of U and ME.
Bad News Bears
When you make your mark in the world, watch out for guys with
erasers.
The Wall Street Journal
When you cease to make a contribution, you begin to die.
Eleanor Roosevelt
When you click on Violence, you get Sex
Scott Berkun
When you go in for a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is if
they ever press charges.
Jack Handey
We got both types of music, country AND western.
Blues Brothers
We could get a lot of writing done if I get a boneheaded question
from you every day, I answer it, and you keep filing it away into a
book structure. We could even do it by FAX from india, worst
comes to worst, with airmail disk backup.
Rohit Khare
We did not inherit the land from our fathers. We are borrowing it
from our children.
Amish belief
We could present spatially an atomic fact which contradicted the
laws of physics, but not one which contradicted the laws of
geometry.
Ludwig Wittgenstein
We are young but getting old before our time.
Joe Jackson
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a Aristotle
habit.
We are, after all, professionals.
Hunter S. Thompson
We cherish our friends not for their ability to amuse us, but for ours Evelyn Waugh
to amuse them.
We ARE as gods and might as well get good at it.
Whole Earth Catalog
We are an impossibility in an impossible universe.
Ray Bradbury
We come to feel as we behave.
Paul Pearsall
We could always shoot one of the philosophers.
David Gries
We cannot unthink unless we are insane.
Arthur Koestler
We cannot reason ourselves out of our basic irrationality. All we
can do is to learn the art of being irrational in a rational way.
Aldous Huxley
We asses our resources and our desires. Then we formulate a
program to best utilize the former to achieve the latter. We stand to
gain considerably if we do this correctly.
Piers Anthony
We can do no great things, only small things with great love.
Mother Theresa
We all know the psychic power of a televised image.
Slacker
We can lick gravity, but sometimes the paperwork is
Wernher von Braun
overwhelmming.
We can be whatever we can to be.
Adam Rifkin
We bottom feeders prefer cereal first.
Jerry Maguire
We can live beside the ocean, leave them far behing, swim out past
the breakers, watch the world die.
Everclear
We are the most powerful planet on Earth.
Dan Quayle
We are upping our standards... so up yours.
Pat Paulsen
We are the makers of the music and the dreamers of the dreams.
Willie Wonka
We are what we pretend to be.
Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.
We Believe in the Interconnectedness of All Things.
Dan Connolly
We can take you to the Cellar, get you all lickered up, and take
advantage of your state... and your city, and your neighborhood...
Tripp Lilley
We can see the stars but still not see the light.
Eagles
We can rule out lustful, apathetic, malicious, malevolent, vengeful,
hubristic, voracious, covetous, acquisitive, arrogant, and desolate.
Megan Coughlin
We can only pay our debt to the past by putting the future in debt to John Buchan
ourselves.
We can never tell what is in store for us.
Harry S Truman
we are all the same color once our skin has been removed and
replaced by superconducting wire mesh to dissipate spot lasers
Vijay Gill
We are all worms. But I do believe I am a glowworm.
Winston Churchill
What documentation was actually written - the infamous Unix man
pages - was really nothing more than a collection of reminders for
people who already knew what they were doing.
Unix-Haters Handbook
We are like butterflies who flutter for a day and think it is forever.
Carl Sagan
We are in the world to laugh.
Jules Renard
We, and all others who believe in freedom as deeply as we do,
would rather die on our feet than live on our knees.
Franklin D. Roosevelt
What does not kill us makes us stronger.
Jean Saypah
What fools these mortals be.
Lucius Annaeus Seneca
We are having very similar problems. It looks like most of the
Chris Rapier
difficulty is that the digital lines are out of phase. Of course, trying
to get bell to correct it is impossible. So we blew them up. Then we
killed all of the customers. Best move we ever made.
We are going to have peace even if we have to fight for it.
Dwight Eisenhower
We already did this function.
Apple MPW C compiler
error message
We all took their ability to come back to their normal position as a
personal challenge.
John Dobbin
We are all of us living in the shadow of Manhattan.
Watchmen
We are a nation that has a government, not the other way around.
And this makes us special among the nations of the Earth.
Ronald Reagan
We always feared one day Brian would leave, and we always hoped Bill Rifkin
one day Jennifer would.
We are enjoying a sluggish economy and not enjoying it very much. George H. W. Bush
We are born unarmed. Our mind is our only weapon.
Ayn Rand
We are digging the pit of Babel.
Franz Kafka
We are all special cases.
Albert Camus
We are all practical in our own interest and idealists when it
concerns others.
Kahlil Gibran
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
Oscar Wilde
We are never so easily deceived as when we are deceiving others.
La Rouchefoucauld
We are here to add what we can to life, not to get what we can from William Osler
it.
We are here to ruin ourselves and to break our hearts and love the
wrong people and die.
Nicholas Cage
We are surrounded by a rising tide of idiots...
Rohit Khare
We are all connected to each other, in a circle, in a hoop that never
ends.
Pocahontas
We are not in the least afraid of ruins, for we carry a new world
here in our hearts.
Bunadvertura Durruti
We are no more than candles burning in the wind.
Japanese Proverb
Washington is a city of southern efficiency and northern charm.
John F. Kennedy
We were pissing in the gene pool.
Henry Rollins
We wanted to see the geek who valued the love of his children more the Simpsons
than money.
We wanted to come up with the silliest name we could think of, and Richard Jeni
Newt Gingrich was already taken.
We spend more time playing with computers than most people
spend breathing.
Dementia Front Door Page
We will have solar energy as soon as the utility companies solve
one technical problem
how to run a sunbeam
through a meter.
We will all be better citizens when the voting records of our
Congressmen are followed as carefuly as scores of pro-football
games.
Lou Erickson
We went out and purposely hired the best looking guys we could in MLS Commissioner Doug
the whole wide world, and put them in short pants and let them go Logan
after one another running up and down the field, getting sweaty. I
think we know how to generate some legal sex appeal on the
airwaves, and I think that we have succeeded.
We named the DOG Indiana.
Henry Jones Sr.
We need a word for all the kitty-prints that are all over my
windshield because the cats like to lie on my hood when the car is
still warm.
Megan Coughlin
We must view young people not as empty bottles to be filled, but as Robert H. Shaffer
candles to be lit.
We need less Hitchcock and more hard cock.
John Dobbin
We need a world where we can have both computers and campfires. Pat Califia
We were also discussing, over here in Pod One, that Adam almost
has his mental filing system open to people, as long as he lets them
look at that notebook.
Megan Coughlin
We were picketed by a right to life group after our captain had to
abort a takeoff.
Dennis Miller
We were always lookin for this guy named Charlie.
Forrest Gump
We were high school sweethearts... but then we became like two
It Could Happen to You
different TV channels. I was CNN and she was the Home Shopping
Network.
We spent all week coming up with innumerable examples of irony
that Alanis Morisette totally failed to put in her song.
Megan Coughlin
We make people heroes too easily.
Tony Danza
We had her through an astral projection conception.
Adam Rifkin
We had the experience, but we missed the meaning.
TS Eliot
We gladly feast on those who would subdue us.
Gomes Addams
We got more money than Davey Crockett.
Forrest Gump
We grant instant celebrity to the New Kids on the Block, but
support an educational system that takes an average of eight years
to issue each Ph.D.
Robert X. Cringely
We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public
office.
Aesop
We tend to idealize tolerance, then wonder why we find ourselves
infested with losers and nut cases.
Patrick Nielsen Hayden
We spell your name Rikfin to confuse the right wing zealots
attempting to take over the country, in your best interests naturally.
David Nicol
We study ourselves three weeks, we love each other three months,
we squabble three years, we tolerate each other thirty years, and
Hippolyte Taine
then the children start all over again.
We used to take acid. Now we take antacid.
Jerry Jeff Walker
We need the ribbon for evidence.
Secret Service agent
regarding confiscation of
an SJG laser printer
We need some more secret sauce, leave this Mayonaisse out in the
sun.
The Simpsons
We all have a destiny. Nothing just happens.
Forrest Gump
We all get burned as one more sun comes sliding down the sky, one Counting Crows
more shadow leans against the wall.
We all crave the perfect enemy.
J.C. Herz
Watching these guys trying to be wireheads is like watching old
people fuck
Mike Belt
Watching you pretend to agree with both sides of an argument is a
potent reminder of what I consider your biggest personal flaw.
John Dobbin
War is peace. Freedom is slavery. Ignorance is strength.
George Orwell
Washington D.C. is a city of Southern efficiency and northern
charm.
JFK
War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and
degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that
nothing is worth war is much worse. The person who has nothing
for which he is willing to fight, nothing which is more important
than his own personal safety, is a miserable creature and has no
chance of being free unless made and kept so by the exertions of
better men than himself.
John Stewart Mill
War will never cease until babies begin to come into the world with H.L. Mencken
larger cerebrums and smaller adrenal glands.
War is about money, which is worth turning your head from justice
for. Peace is about patience, which is just killing time between
wars.
Duck
War educates the senses, calls into action the will, perfects the
Ralph Waldo Emerson
physical constitution, brings men into such swift and close collision
in critical moments that man measures man.
We die only once, and for such a long time.
Moliere
We must laugh at man, to avoid crying for him.
Napoleon
We must all work to make this world worthy of its children.
Pablo Casals
We may not get everything right, but at least we knew the century
was going to end.
Douglas Adams
We may lose, and we may win, but we will never be here again.
Eagles
We must never forget that the ultimate purpose of an explosive is to Petri Pihko
explode.
We need old friends to help us grow old and new friends to help us
stay young.
Letty Cottin Pogrebin
We meet again Obi Wan, but now I am the master.
Darth Vader
We may not imagine how our lives could be more frustrating and
complex. But Congress can.
Cullen Hightower
We may not know anything about radiators per se, but we do have
experience in the heating and cooling mileu.
Friends
We on the Internet are exchanging, freely and openly, the most
uninhibited, intimate and... yes... shocking details about our
CONFIG.SYS settings.
Dave Barry
We protest against unjust criticism, but we accept unearned
applause.
Jose Narosky
We present greater opportunities for ourselves by acquiring greater
knowledge. It is the essence of our profession.
C. Everett Koop
We really need it because Microsoft keeps releasing sloppier and
sloppier software that needs a faster and faster machine. The speed
is crazy.
Ken Olsen
We never do anything well till we cease to think about the manner
of doing it.
William Hazlitt
The story seems to be the following. No doubt this is well known to Alf van der Poorten
those who know it well but not so well known to those who do not
know it.
The state flower is mildew.
Frasier
The steady state of disks is full.
Ken Thompson
The state of California is officially changing its name to state of
Emergency.
The Critic
You are guests in my corn.
Field of Dreams
The spirit, the will to win, and the will to excel are the things that
Vince Lombardi
endure. These qualities are so much more important than the events
that occur.
The sun may do good things for the soul but nothing but damage to
the skin.
Professor Albert Klingman
The sun rose slowly, like a fiery furball coughed up uneasily onto a
sky-blue carpet by a giant unseen cat.
Michael McGarel
The sunlights differ, but there is only one darkness.
Ursula LeGuin
The superfluous is very necessary.
Voltaire
The superior man is modest in his speech, but exceeds in his
actions.
Confucius
The sun, with all those planets revolving around it and dependent
Galileo
on it can still ripen a bunch of grapes as if it had nothing else in the
universe to do.
The solution implemented here works amazingly well in most
cmushell.el comment
circumstances, and, being essentially half-assed, is more in keeping
with the spirit of Unix. Blech.
You are not I, and therein lies the irreparable calamity.
Vladimir Nabokov
You become a champion by fighting one more round. When things
are tough, you fight one more round.
James Corbett
You can always solve a problem by introducing another layer of
indirection.
Xerox PARC saying
You are so reliable. I should set my watch by you.
Rohit Khare
You always pass failure on the way to success.
Mickey Rooney
You are my embassador of quong, man.
Jerry Maguire
You are in the bell jar.
Reality Bites
You and your friends are the only creeps around this place.
Wild Rebels
You are a Berkeley mail master, Adam. And you can quote me on
that.
Joe Kiniry
You are not my father
Luke Skywalker
The superior man acts before he speaks, and afterwards speaks
according to his action.
Confucius
The superior man is distressed by his want of ability.
Confucius Analects
The shortest way to do many things is to do one thing at once.
Samuel Smiles
The shortest distance between two points is under construction.
Noelie Alito
The shortest distance between two points is a straight line in the
opposite direction.
Caddyshack
The shit is feeding itself to the fan.
Art Stine
The smallest oceans still get big big waves.
Pearl Jam
The size of the brain is no measure of its capacity.
Jonathan Frisby
The secret of being miserable is to have the leisure to bother about
whether you are happy or not.
George Bernard Shaw
The sky is no longer the limit.
Richard Nixon
The slate of American history needs to be wiped clean.
Slacker
The silicon chip inside her head gets switched to overload.
Boomtown Rats
The trouble with being a hypochondriac these days is that
antibiotics have cured all the good diseases.
Caskie Stinnet
The trouble with being poor is that it takes up all your time.
Willem de Kooning
The true New Yorker secretly believes that people living anywhere
John Updike
else have to be, in some sense, kidding.
The true teacher defends his pupils against his own personal
influence.
Amos Bronson Alcott
The supreme irony of life is hardly anyone ever gets out of it alive.
Robert Heinlein
The sidewinder sleeps in a coil.
REM
The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the
intelligent are full of doubt.
Bertrand Russell
The true university of these days is a collection of books.
Thomas Carlyle
The trouble with our times is that the future is not what it used to
be.
Paul Valery
The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time.
James Taylor
The successful revolutionary is a statesman, the unsuccessful one a
criminal.
Erich Fromm
The so-called lessons of history are for the most part the
rationalizations of the victors. History is written by the survivors.
Max Lerner
The subordinates were being insubordinate...
Berna Massingill
The strong do what they will and the weak do what they must.
Thucydides
The Sun is at the center of the Universe.
Copernicus
The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and just
not think about your age.
Lucille Ball
The sea was angry that day, my friends, like an old man trying to
send back soup in a deli.
George
The sea was angry that day, my friends. Like an old man trying to
send back soup at the deli.
George Costanza
The sciences do not try to explain, they hardly even try to interpret,
they mainly make models. By a model is meant a mathematical
construct which, with the addition of certain verbal interpretations,
describes observed phenomena. The justification of such a
mathematical construct is solely and precisely that it is expected to
work.
John Von Neumann
The secret of managing is to keep the guys who hate you away from Casey Stengel
the guys who are undecided.
The secret of the demagogue is to make himself as stupid as his
audience so that they believe they are as clever as he.
Karl Kraus
The secret rules of engagement are hard to endorse when the
appearance of conflict meets the appearance of force.
the Tragically Hip
The secret to happiness is short-term, stupid self-interest.
Calvin
The secret to happiness is high expectations and your own bag of
chips.
Dogbert
The sense of the future is behind all good policies. Unless we have
it, we can give nothing either wise or decent to the world.
C.P. Snow
The service we render to others is really the rent we pay for our
room on this earth.
W. Grenfell
The sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately
doomed and that is the end of the story.
When Harry Met Sally
You are such a font of eminently deleteable mail...
Rohit Khare
You are so funny... If only I could remember your name.
Kirsten Riley
You cannot have too large a party.
Jane Austen
You cannot learn to fly by flying. First you must learn to walk, to
run, to climb, to dance.
Friedrich Nietzsche
You cannot paint with a broad brush.
Robin Quivers
You cannot pluck roses without fear of thorns, nor enjoy a fair wife Ben Franklin
without danger of horns.
You cannot teach a crab to walk straight.
Aristophanes
You cannot see the wood for the trees.
John Heywood
You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist.
Golda Meir
You cannot make a revolution with silk gloves.
Josef Stalin
You cannot win with caffeine. It takes more than it gives.
James Cook
You could come with us if you want. In fact, if you did... you might Hugh Moore
not even suck...
You catch me running off at the mouth, just poke me in the chops.
Planes, Trains, and
Automobiles
You could have walked away if you wanted to. You could have said the Smiths
no if you wanted to.
You could get an iMac, but generally speaking, iMacs are
something you win, not something you buy.
Mark Argent
Yes, I am black. No, I am not a criminal. Do not arrest this man.
Jerry Maguire
Yes, if one third of the people buying this book would die on the ice Cliff Judge
with a mammoth tusk shearing their upper body from their lower
like PROPER cavemen then it might actually be beneficial.
Yes, the lectures are optional. Graduation is also optional.
Brian Quinn
Yesterday a guy cut me off in traffic. I said unto him, Be fruitful
and multiply, but not in those words.
Woody Allen
You complete me.
Jerry Maguire
You could use the ten point scale and have a multiplicity factor.
Adam Rifkin
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of
focus.
Mark Twain
yeah, and Safety Dance is really a symbolic statement about the
alienation from life and finding depth of spirituality in dance.
Marcy Lewis
Yeah, and pawprints is sweeping the nation....
Megan Coughlin
Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be
hid.
New Testament of St.
Matthew
Yeah. It was a little computer. The one I had with me in Vegas,
which as I write I realize you never saw. They were all in my
underwear box.
John Dobbin
Yeah so I realized I was kind of pissy on the phone, and I want to
make sure you knew it was sybase, not you.
Fleur Dragan
You are two of the best kids a father ever accidentally had.
Married with Children
You are the one who writes and the one who is written.
Edmond Jabes
You are talking about the Count Dracula of the computing world.
The tree large enough that a stake capable of killing COBOL could
be fashioned from its trunk has not yet grown anywhere upon the
face of this verdant planet.
Dan Martinez
Yeah, Black and Decker came out with a toaster oven and a
microwave that run under X. Also, Samsung has a dishwasher,
refridgerator and vacuum cleaner, but the larger appliances really
eat up resources.
Andrew Stellman
Yeah
bad wiring. That was
probably it. Very bad.
Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you mad.
Aldous Huxley
Xanadu, stately home of Charles Foster Kane. Cost, no one can say. Citizen Kane
You already know their suspension-of-disbelief threshold is off the
charts because they obviously think Tom Cruise can act.
Mr. Cranky
Yes, but some of my one-liners are actually four lines, which means Adam Rifkin
that I had at least a two line leeway.
Yesterday, my eyeglass prescription ran out.
Steven Wright
Ya know, Fascism in moderation is pretty cool...
Anu Kapoor
Ya gotta suck up to get sucked up. You should have left out the
second up. You should put your quote in your quotefile. I should
stop telling you what to do.
John Dobbin
Yesterday is but a dream, tomorrow is but a vision. But today well
lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every
tomorrow a vision of hope. Look well, therefore, to This Day.
Sanskrit proverb
The trick was to stay sane.
Douglas Adams
The right to be heard does not include the right to be taken
seriously.
Hubert Humphrey
The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be
Hubert Humphrey
taken seriously.
The Right Honorable Gentleman is indebted to his memory for his
jests and to his imagination for his facts.
Sheridan
The riddle does not exist. If a question can be put at all, then it can
also be answered.
Ludwig Wittgenstein
The sacred moments of silliness are where I find my heaven.
Gigolo Aunts
The safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in
your pocket.
Kin Hubbard
The Riches of Scholarship, The Benignities of literature, defy
fortune and outlive calamity.
Lowell
The Road Warrior is as reliable as a Far Side collection next to the
toilet bowl, and just as user friendly.
Baked Potatoes
The road to truth is long, and lined the entire way with annoying
bastards.
Alexander Jablokov
The romance of Silicon Valley was about money - excuse me, about Jean-Louis Gassee
changing the world, one million dollars at a time.
The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective
as a rightly timed pause.
Mark Twain
The road to hell is paved with good intentions.
Samuel Johnson
The quality of our thoughts is bordered on all sides by our facility
with language.
J. Michael Straczynski
The Quark bomb, formerly the Johnny Cyclops bomb, after the
President of the same name...
Whoops Apocalypse
the professors must have thought all the students were on drugs or
something. sometimes it must have seemed to them like they were
talking to an empty classroom. or a classroom filled with angry
mimes.
Owen Davis
The prospect of Christmas appalls me.
Evelyn Waugh
The purpose of technology is not to confuse the brain, but to serve
the body.
William S. Burroughs
The reason most people play golf is to wear clothes they would not
be caught dead in otherwise.
Roger Simon
The road to excess leads to the palace of wisdom. For we never
know what is enough until we know what is more than enough.
Blake
The road to Hades is easy to travel.
Bion
The purpose of analysis is to avoid making hard decisions.
Therefore, there can never be too much analysis.
Dilbert
The purpose of JCL is to give you something to debug once you
have your programs running.
Charlie Gibbs
The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple.
Oscar Wilde
The pickle breath is a good start.
Seinfeld
The philosophy you get for free.
Steve Park
The philosophy exam was a piece of cake
which was a bit of a
surprise, actually, because
I was expecting some
questions on a sheet of
paper.
The problem with totally gratuitous amounts of hardware is that it
can be arbitrarily taken away.
Rob Earhart
The person who walks alone is soon trailed by the FBI.
Wright Morris
The plural of WHY is WISE.
Adam Rifkin
The Pig, if I am not mistaken, Gives us ham and pork and Bacon.
Let others think his heart is big, I think it stupid of the Pig.
Ogden Nash
The rest of you can bite my world-wide-butt.
Esther Filderman
The Reform Party now includes a Klansman, Mr. Duke, a neo-Nazi, Donald Trump
Mr. Buchanan, and a communist, Ms. Fulani. This is not company I
wish to keep.
The reward of a thing well done is to have done it.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
The reason worry kills more people than work is that more people
worry than work.
Robert Frost
The reward of energy, enterprise and thrift - is taxes.
W. Feather
The rhetoric of the pedagogy of the opressed really bites my
weenie.
Elliott Evans
The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.
Mark Twain
The rhinoceros... is the last remnant of the unicorn...
Wild Palms
The Revolution will not be available at stores.
Vijay Gill
The problems with the USSR and Hubble are nuclear arms and
unclear mars.
Vijay Rangarajan
There are no passengers on spaceship earth. We are all crew.
Marshall McLuhan
There are no options here. All paths lead to roam.
Adam Rifkin
There are no incurable ills. There are no unkillable thrills. There are Osbourne
no unbeatable odds. There are no believable Gods. There are no
unreachable goals. There are no unsaveable souls.
There are so many good reasons to resent me, but you keep finding
the worthless ones.
John Dobbin
There are really not many jobs that actually require a penis or a
vagina, and all other occupations should be open to everyone.
Gloria Steinem
There are times when panic is the appropriate response.
Eugene Kleiner
There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, Mark Twain
and finish the farce.
There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one
knows what they are.
Maugham
There are three rules for writing the novel. Unfortunately, no one
knows what they are.
William Somerset
Maugham
There are three sides to every story - yours, mine, and all that lie
between.
Jody Kern
There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.
Beverly Sills
There are no teachers
only students.
There are only two things to do with a problem. Solve it, or
eliminate the source.
James Carter
The real reason Milton went blind was to avoid reading unsolicited
manuscripts.
Rita Mae Brown
The real problem is not whether machines think, but whether men
do.
B.F. Skinner
The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that Sam Levenson
they have a common enemy.
The question is not how to use computing power efficiently, but
how to squander it creatively.
Dr. David Gelernter
The proof of the pudding is in the eating.
Miguel de Cervantes
The process of preparing programs for a digital computer is
especially attractive, not only because it can be economically and
scientifically rewarding, but also because it can be an aesthetic
experience much like composing poetry or music.
Donald E. Knuth
The proof is left as an exercise for the reader.
Pierre de Fermat
The progression of emancipation of any class usually, if not always, Harriet Martineau
takes place through the efforts of individuals of that class.
The progress of the world is the history of men who would not
permit defeat to speak the final word.
J.R. Sizoo
The reason for the success of this somewhat communist-sounding
Bruce Perens
strategy, while the failure of communism itself is visible around the
world, is that the economics of information are fundamentaly
different from those of other products.
The real danger is not that computers will begin to think like men,
but that men will begin to think like computers.
Sydney Harris
The re-election of Bill Clinton is as secure as a double-knot tied in
wet rawhide.
Dan Rather
The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting Edsger W. Dijkstra
than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
The quickest way to learn how to do it yourself is to criticize the
way someone else is doing it.
The Lion
The real man smiles in trouble, gathers strength from distress, and
grows brave by reflection.
Thomas Paine
The reason a lot of people do not recognize opportunity is because
it usually goes around wearing overalls and looking too much like
hard work.
Thomas Edison
The real fun of living wisely is that you get to be smug about it.
Bill Watterson
The radical of one century is the conservative of the next.
Mark Twain
The point of philosophy is to start with something so simple as not
to seem worth stating, and to end with something so paradoxical
that no one will believe it.
Bertrand Russell
The point is, ladies and gentlemen, that greed, for lack of a better
word, is good. Greed is right. Greed works.
Wall Street
The tender breasts of ladies were not formed for political
convulsions.
Thomas Jefferson
The Ten Commandments are banned from the schoolroom, but
pornographic videos are permitted. Or, as someone has quipped
about the notorious sculpture by Andres Serrano, a crucifix many
not be exhibited - unless it is dipped in urine, in which case it will
be awarded a grant by the National Endowment for the Arts.
Judge Robert Bork scopes
the current cultural scene
The surest protection against temptation is cowardice.
Mark Twain
The terminal death of the universe is not for tomorrow.
Umberto Eco
The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed F. Scott Fitzgerald
ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.
One should, for example, be able to see that things are hopeless and
yet be determined to make them otherwise.
The tablecloth restaurant is still one of the great rewards of
civilization.
Henry Golden
The timid cannot learn. The impatient cannot teach.
Joel Franklin
The time has come, the walrus said, to speak of many things.
Lewis Carroll
The thought of a dozen gay men and a couple of women cheering
for naked, showering Marlboro men in the middle of the desert just
cracks me up every time.
Megan Coughlin
The price is exorbitant, the pleasure is transitory, and the position is Lord Chesterfield
ridiculous.
The press, Watson, is a most valuable institution, if you only know
how to use it.
Sherlock Holmes
The time to eat appetizers is when they are being passed around.
Eugene Kleiner
The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the
blood of patriots and tyrants.
Thomas Jefferson
The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and
stupidity.
Harlan Ellison
The two most important tools an architect has are the eraser in the
drawing room and the sledge hammer on the construction site.
Frank Lloyd Wright
The tulips from my window getting ready to bloom...
Adam Rifkin
The truth is rarely pure, and never simple.
Oscar Wilde
The truth is out there.
X files
The typewriting machine, when played with expression, is no more
annoying than the piano when played by a sister or near relation.
Oscar Wilde
The truth arises from the disagreement amongst friends.
David Hume
The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never
get to prove it.
Thomas Skogestad
the two best tools for writing code are competent subordinates and a Andrew Stellman
cattle prod.
The tuxedo is a wedding safety device, created by women because
they know that men are undependable. So in case the groom
chickens out, everybody just takes one step over, and she marries
the next guy.
Jerry Seinfeld
The thing that holds the key to freedom also holds the key to
slavery. I fear the fold will follow the false route.
Adam Rifkin
The test of literature is, I suppose, whether we ourselves live more
intensely for the reading of it.
Elizabeth Drew
The thing that impresses me most about America is the way parents Duke of Windsor
obey their children.
The things that come to those who wait, are the things left behind
by those who got there first.
Aerosmith
The thing that makes you exceptional, if you are at all, is inevitably Lorraine Hansberry
that which must also make you lonely.
The truth that many people never understand, until it is too late, is
Thomas Merton
that the more you try to avoid suffering the more you suffer because
smaller things begin to torture you in proportion to your fear of
suffering.
The price of greatness is responsibility.
Winston Churchill
the preponderance of such elevated and obfuscated text is clearly
indicative of my ass
Brad Barkett
The people who get things done get more things to do.
Mark Stehlik
The people to worry about are not those who openly disagree with
you, but those who disagree with you who are too cowardly to let
you know.
Zingers
The people I distrust most are those who want to improve our lives
Frank Herbert
but have only one course of action.
The people who wrote this are idiots, training to be morons.
Mark Baushke
The people in Hell want icewater, too.
Wayne Baisley
The point to remember is that what the Government gives it must
first take away.
John S. Caldwell
The problem with being an old handball player is that you get tired
OUT before you get warmed UP.
Clifford Cone
The probability that we may fail in the struggle ought not to deter us Abraham Lincoln
from the support of a cause we believe to be just.
The problem is not those who dream, but those who can ONLY
dream.
Ayn Rand
The problem with democracy is that half the electorate has below
average intelligence.
Patrick J. Maloney
The person who knows how to laugh at himself will never cease to
be amused.
Shirley MacLaine
The plot was designed in a light vein that somehow became
varicose.
David Lardner
The plural of spouse is spice.
Charlie Gordon
The pillars of truth and the pillars of freedom... are the pillars of
society.
Henrik Ibsen
The penalty of success is to be bored by the people who used to
snub you.
Lady Astor
The penis is obviously going the way of the veriform appendix.
Jill Johnstone
The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr.
on a Dr Pepper can.
Wayne Goode
The power of a religion can be measured by the size of the war it
can create.
David Gerrold
The price of seeking to force our beliefs on others is that someday
they might force their beliefs on us.
Mario Cuomo
The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by George Bernard Shaw
those who have not got it.
The possibilities are endless. I plan to hide in the woods.
Gordon Fitch
The Pope is uniquely entitled to pontificate.
William Safire
The problem with tolerance is that you have to tolerate the
intolerant as well.
G.M. Weilacher
The problem with the flute is that it vibrates your brain.
Garrison Keillor
The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. Humphrey Bogart
The problem with the cutting edge is that someone has to bleed.
Zalman Stern
The principle of give and take is the principle of diplomacy... give
one and take ten.
Mark Twain
The problem with nude dancing is that not everything stops when
the music does.
Robert Helpmann
The problem with higher mathematics is that after a while you
begin to see dark at the end of the tunnel.
Saul Devitt
You wore our expectations like an armored suit.
REM
You yellow rat bastard. You cocker spaniel. You mother father.
Billy West
You would be a very bad dog.
Megan Coughlin to John
Dobbin
Wow. I think reading unhinged is more educational than going to
class.
Ryan Troll
Word skittered out of his mouth like cartoon dogs on fresh-waxed
linoleum, frantically going nowhere.
Amy Tan
Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind.
Rudyard Kipling
Words are heavy. If birds talked, they could not fly.
Northern Exposure
Woods and crags know how to keep a dignified silence with you.
Nietzsche
Wow, that hurt worse than child labor.
Thanh Boyer
You, me, five bucks, and a little conversation.
Reality Bites
You young people are the ones who stole all the Evel Kneivel toys
from KMART.
Evel Kneivel to Beck
World War Three is a guerilla information war, with no division
between military and civilian participation.
Marshall McLuhan
Worry a little bit every day and in a lifetime you will lose a couple
of years. If something is wrong, fix it if you can. But train yourself
not to worry. Worry never fixes anything.
Mary Hemingway
Would you keep control of your clothing.
Lex Gibson
Your superior intellect is no match for our puny weapons.
The Simpsons
Zack Norman is Sammy in Chief Zabu.
old Variety ad
Your zen-fu sucks.
Joshua Schachter
Yours is the profession of arms, the will to win, the sure knowledge General Douglas
that in war there is no substitute for victory, that if you lose, the
MacArthur
nation will be destroyed, that the very obsession of your public
service must be duty, honor, country.
Your disguise is as good as a giraffe wearing sunglasses trying to
get into a polar-bear-only club.
Blackadder IV
Your descendants shall gather your fruits.
Virgil
You take the TV out of this relationship, and it is just torture.
George Costanza
You take all the trees, put the in a tree museum. Then you charge
everybody a dollar and a quarter just to see them.
Joanie Mitchell
You understand, of course, that everything I say is horseshit.
Kurt Vonnegut
You told me to paint whatever comes from within. I did my
breakfast.
Blackadder IV
You will realize that you are surrounded by miracles if you take
nothing for granted.
Kathryn Major
You will never FIND time for anything. If you want time you must
make it.
Charles Buxton
You will notice that in all disputes between Christians since the
birth of the Church, Rome has always favored the doctrine which
most completely subjugated the human mind and annihilated
reason.
Voltaire
You turn the tap dance into your crusade.
Billy Joel
You two need to work on trust. Only then will there be a free
exchange of sex and discounts.
Seinfeld
you this know parsed cannot sentence be unambiguously.
Adam Rifkin
You travel in large groups of one.
Encino Man
You talk too much.
Jerry Maguire
You were in jail... You had no hope... So I took the liberty of
bullshitting you.
Blues Brothers
You were right about your family sliding down the normal curve.
Adam Rifkin
You were the only person I knew in New York.
When Harry Met Sally
You want your coffee, you want your food, blend it, suck it down,
leave us alone.
Rohit Khare
You then either massage the data, or eat it raw.
Phil Kearns
You WILL be assimilated into the PDA revolution... resistance, if
less than one ohm, is futile...
Sam Kass
You will do foolish things, but do them with enthusiasm.
Colette
Your mom is sooo cute.
John Dobbin
Your momma sure does care about your schooling, son.
Forrest Gump
Your imagination can focus on ugliness, distress and failure, or it
can picture beauty, success, desired results. You decide how you
want your imagination to server you.
Philip Conley
Zephyr is the perfect transport agent for stupid little shit...
John Prevost
Your move
Colossus
Your SATs were negative.
Howard Stern
Your life reduces quite readily to the halting problem.
Adam Rifkin
Your Reality May Vary
Mark Denovich
You can tell whether a man is clever by his answers. You can tell
whether a man is wise by his questions.
Naguib Mahfouz
You can run all your life, but not go anywhere.
Social Distortion
You can take a pile of rocks and use them to build a house, or you
can take the same pile and start a war. Tell children not to throw
rocks, make rules against picking up rocks, and then make mad.
Keep projecting what not to do and you make the thought in their
brains of what can and will be done.
Charles Manson
You can teach an elephant to dance, but the likelihood of its
stepping on your toes is very high.
Gary Moss
With great power comes the opportunity to amass even greater
power.
Dr. Doom
You can tell how far we have to go, when FORTRAN is the
language of supercomputers.
Steven Feiner
You can tell the ideals of a nation by its advertisements.
Norman Douglas
You can remove all words from a brilliant thought.
Stanislaw Lem
You can quote me on anything I say.
John Dobbin
You can spend your whole life trying to change the world. No,
seriously, you can.
Microsoft ad
You can settle any dispute if you keep the lawyers and accountants
out of it.
Macaulay
You can short-circuit the two or three neurons that people use for
common sense by appealing to their greed.
Dogbert
With a rubber duck, one is never alone.
Douglas Adams
Wise men make proverbs but fools repeat them.
Samuel Palmer
Wise men learn more from fools than fools from the wise.
Proverbs
With a gentleman I try to be a gentleman and a half, and with a
fraud I try to be a fraud and a half.
Otto von Bismark
Wish there was something real... wish there was something true...
Nine Inch Nails
With time and patience the mulberry leaf becomes a silk gown.
Chinese proverb
Wit is cultured insolence.
Aristotle
Wit is the salt of conversation, not the food.
William Hazlitt
With these vulgar fractions of the treble clef I wish you luck with a
capital F.
Elvis Costello
With the splitting of the atom, everything has changed save for our
mode of thinking.
Albert Eienstein
With the power of conviction, there is no sacrifice.
Pat Benatar
With every deed you are sowing a seed, though the harvest you may Ella Wheeler Wilcox
not see.
With enough ex-lax you can pass anything.
Rohit Khare
With our combined strength we can end this destructive conflict and Darth Vader
bring order to the galaxy.
Wisdom is the supreme part of happiness.
Sophocles
You can learn many things from children. How much patience you
have, for instance.
Franklin P. Jones
You do not understand, Grasshopper. The purpose of the icons, the
purpose of the entire OS X look and feel, is to keep the customer
happy during that critical period between the time of sale and the
time the check clears.
Bruce Tognazini
You do not lie, you understate to the point of criminal negligence.
Manuel Sanches
You even laugh at Shakespeare comedy.
Blackadder II
You can lead a horticulture, but you cannot make her think.
Dorothy Parker
You can have my isolation, you can have the hate that it brings.
You can have my absence of faith, you can have my everything.
Nine Inch Nails
You can get something out fast if you can control the prototype, but Robert Cailliau
in computing there is no such thing as a prototype. The prototype
stutters itself all over the world.
You can go a long way with a smile. You can go a lot farther with a Al Capone
smile and a gun.
You can fool some of the people some of the time, the rest are
fooling themselves.
Thomas McBride
You can get much further with a kind word and a gun than you can
with a kind word alone.
Al Capone
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than just a kind word. Al Capone
You can only kiss so much faculty butt before you get a mouthfull
of hair.
David Gregg
You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake.
Jeannette Rankin
You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the
people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time.
Abraham Lincoln
You can either take action, or you can hang back and hope for a
miracle. Miracles are great, but they are so unpredictable.
Peter Drucker
You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the
people all the time, ... and that is sufficient.
Not Lincoln
You can have good initial relationships with cadavers, but they
deteriorate rapidly.
John Dobbin
You can name your salary here. I call mine Fred.
Ziggy
You can never do just one thing.
Hardin
Women are strange creatures with strange features.
John Dobbin
Women who miscalculate are called mothers.
Abigail Van Buren
Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
Bumper sticker
Writing about music is like dancing about architecture.
Frank Zappa
Women and cats will do as they please. And men and dogs should
relax and get used to the idea.
Robert Heinlein
Write the first draft. Boldface the bits you want to emphasize.
Delete all the unboldened stuff. Delete the boldening.
Dave Winer
Write down the advice of him who loves you, though you like it not English Proverb
at the present.
Writing is easy. All you do is stare at a blank sheet of paper until
drops of blood form on your forehead.
Gene Fowler
Write a book and call it, Core Dumps from the Bowels of
Cyberspace.
John Klassa
Window. Push. Pavement. Splat. Relief.
Seinfeld
Winner gets to drink out of the toilet.
David Letterman
will build dynamic routing meshes for food
Vijay Gill
Wilderness begins in the human mind.
Edward Abbey
Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in
private and wash your hands afterwards.
Robert Heinlein
Words mean things.
Rush Limbaugh
Words have a longer life than deeds.
Pindar
Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
Oscar Wilde
Women. Fear them.
Andrew Crown
Wrong must not win by technicalities.
Aeschylus
X Windows is to memory as Ronald Reagan was to money.
Unix-Haters Handbook
Writing the paragraph for man -M diagnostics must have taken
more work than fixing the bug would have.
David Chapman
Working to get back where you started is always fun.
John Dobbin
Words, words, words.
Hamlet
Without gratuitous sex, we would be no better than animals.
M. Swanwick
Without compassion, there can be no end to hate.
Billy Joel
Women schwomen. You need to interact with your computer a little Gray Jones
more deeply.
Women should always wear tight clothes, and men should carry
Calvin and Hobbes
powerful handguns.
Without ambition one starts nothing. Without work one finishes
nothing. The prize will not be sent to you. You have to win it. The
man who knows how will always have a job. The man who also
knows why will always be his boss. As to methods there may be a
million and then some, but principles are few. The man who grasps
principles can successfully select his own methods. The man who
tries methods, ignoring principles, is sure to have trouble.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Woman reduces us all to a common denominator.
George Bernard Shaw
Withdrawing in disgust is not the same thing as apathy.
Slacker
Women represent the triumph of matter over mind, just as men
represent the triumph of mind over morals.
Oscar Wilde
Women make the best psychoanalysts until they fall in love. After
that they make the best patients.
Spellbound
Women are more practical about greed then men.
Megan Coughlin
Women are sexual objects. Except my mother.
Martin Lawrence
Women are soft, and fun to touch, but that does not stop them from
being incarnations of pure evil.
Bradford Johnson
Women are a lot like LEGOS... you can never find the right one.
Jay Nash
Women are dirty whores and want to be treated as such. Yeah sure, Tim Byars
respect and all that comes later when they earn it, but the direct road
is the road to success. No Pussyfooting as Fripp and Eno would say.
Women still remember the first kiss after men have forgotten the
last.
Remy de Gourmant
Women should not be allowed on juries where the accused is a stud. Rush Limbaugh
Women should remain at home, sit still, keep house, and bring up
children.
Martin Luther
Women who love the same man have a kind of bitter freemasonry.
Max Beerbohm
Without will, without individuals, there are no heroes. But neither
are there villians and the absence of villians is as prostrating, as
soul-destroying, as the absence of heroes.
Gertrude Himmelfarb
Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.
Billy Crystal
Without the past, the pursued future has no meaning.
Lorean Eisely
Without time to rise, there is no loaf.
Rohit Khare
Without passion man is a mere latent force and possibility, like the
flint which awaits the shock of the iron before it can give forth its
spark.
Henri-Frederic Amiel
Without tact you can learn nothing.
Benjamin Disraeli