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Assessment Report English 1A Fall 2012
Background and Methodology
During Spring 2011 and Spring 2012, the English discipline at Norco College completed two
comprehensive assessment project to evaluate the competency of English 1A students in multiple areas,
one of these being critical thinking. As the only required course connected to general education
requirements for transfer and graduation that teaches critical thinking, it was hoped that late term,
source based student papers from English 1A would demonstrate competency, especially in that area. As
the reports for these two assessments have indicated, the results were a concern to the discipline 1.
Because of the disappointing results, the discipline decided to require a common essay requiring critical
thinking during the following semester in an attempt to improve students’ competency.
On September 7, 2012, eight English 1A instructors and the Norco Dean of Student Success met off
campus to discuss the common essay and the subsequent assessment project. At that meeting,
participants discussed the common essay assignment and the purpose for the “intervention.” Results
from this meeting were emailed to all English 1A instructors (See Appendix D) and five anonymous
papers from each section of English 1A taught that fall were requested. In total, 70 papers were
submitted out of a potential of 90. These papers were numbered 1 through 70, so instructors could pick
up their papers after the assessment and compare it to a spreadsheet which identified the scores for
each paper. In this way, faculty could compare the scores given their students’ papers by other faculty
to their own grades.
On November 16, 2012, English 1A faculty met to norm their grading practices and to assess the 70
midterm papers resulting from a common essay.. Four full time English faculty members participated
along with eight associate faculty members. The faculty participants had all taught the common essay
except for one full time faculty participant. The process started at 8:40 with introductions and a
discussion of the assignment (see Appendix A) designed for the common essay. Some instructors
suggested the assignment was particularly difficult for students as student writers were asked to apply
stylistic/rhetorical techniques to their analysis of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.’s speech “I Have a
Dream.” Additionally, the assignment asked student writers to indicate if Dr. King’s use of these
techniques appealed to elements of argument such as logos, pathos, and/or ethos. As a midterm
assignment, it was hoped that students could display some ability to develop argument as a result of
careful textual analysis and structured classroom instruction
Common Essay Assignment
The assignment resulted from the belief that poorly constructed assignments might have impacted the
lower critical thinking scores that were discovered during the assessment of English 1A late, sourcebased papers in spring 2011 AND 2012. The common essay assignment was developed using the
information from John Bean’s text Engaging Ideas, 2 and in addition to a prescriptive essay assignment,
faculty also received additional resources to help guide classroom discussion and pedagogical activities.
Indeed, multiple activities were provided to all English 1A instructors to reinforce the belief that
teaching any text of value requires multiple approaches and several classroom meetings (Appendices B
and C).
In addition to assessing student competency relative to the assignment, an indirect goal was to provide
participating English 1A faculty with a common understanding of the type of assignments necessary to
evoke critical thinking in English 1A. Discussing the assignment and the rubric for norming and
assessing the papers hopefully resulted in an understanding of what should be taught in English 1A,
and participants recognized the significant possibility that Norco will be developing a standard rhetoric
to be used in teaching 1A. The discussion seemed to build a sense of community and purpose.
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2
Flick, Arend. “Follow-Up Report on English 1A Assessment for General Education Outcomes: Spring 2012.”
To be added
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Norming Session
Following the discussion of the assignment and rubric, the faculty members engaged in norming four,
pre-selected essays. This took approximately 90 minutes and the assessment began around 10:30. The
assessment continued until noon and this was followed by approximately 30 minutes of discussion.
Comparative Analysis: Critical Thinking Results for Three Assessments
The rubric for critical thinking was consistent for all three projects. Data below reflect the sum of two
readers’ rubric scores.
Critical Thinking Results, late term, source-based papers, spring 2011
Scores for the reading were as follows (N=85):
Critical Thinking
2
3
4
6
7
10
8
22
29
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Critical Thinking Results, late term, source-based papers, spring 2012
Scores for the spring 2012 reading were as follows (N = 69):
2
3
4
6
2
3
24
34
Critical Thinking Results, midterm, common essay, fall 2012
Scores for the fall 2012 reading were as follows (N=70):
Critical Thinking
2
7
Critical Thinking
3
6
4
32
6
20
The 2011 results, expressed as percentages:
% not demonstrating competency
47
Critical Thinking
8
5
7
2
8
4
7
5
8
0
% demonstrating competency
53
The spring 2012 results, expressed as percentages:
% not demonstrating
competency (2011)
% not demonstrating
competency (2012)
47
42
Critical Thinking
% demonstrating
competency
(2011)
53
% demonstrating
competency
(2012)
58
The fall 2012 results, expressed in percentages and compared with the previous two assessments:
Critical
Thinking
% not
competent
2011
% not
competent
Spr 2012
% not
competent
Fall 2012
% competent
2011
% competent
Spr 2012
% competent
fall 2012
47
42
64
53
58
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Using the table immediately above, the results of the comparative analysis of the three assessments
indicates that the intervention of a common essay did not meet expectations, but it does offer variables
that are informative. From this assessment, it might be concluded that
1. The data from the first two assessments indicates a significant learning curve between
the midterm common essay and the late term, source based papers.
2. The common essay package (assignment, text, and other resources) should be revisited;
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3. The common essay should not be a stand-alone assessment project; it needs to be the
first step in a two-step assessment process that culminates in an assessment of late term,
source based papers from these same students;
4. More needs to be accomplished in training faculty to incorporate critical thinking at the
English 1A level. This might include:
a. A half-day workshop for all English 1A instructors before the start of the
semester to reinforce the significance of English 1A;
b. Use of a standardized rhetoric text that focuses on the instruction of academic
argument. This would still allow for faculty to select readings;
c. Continued use of a common essay to norm faculty and assess progress in
instruction of the course;
d. Continued collaboration between department chair and English 1A course
leader in the hiring of associate faculty for 1A classes.
Instructor Survey Results
English 1A instructors who participated in the assessment of the common essays were asked to submit a
survey anonymously indicating the pedagogical approach each took to helping students understand the
assignment and work toward a quality response to the assignment. The results are below. The results
begin with a table indicating the amount of time devoted to this assignment. There were eight
responders to the survey and because of the anonymity, their responses are coded accordingly (R1, R2,
R3, etc.).
English 1A Common Essay Survey—RESULTS
There were 8/12 surveys submitted by the faculty at the assessment. Each faculty response has been
given a number (1-8), and their responses are listed under the number designation. After the table
which summarizes each response to question one, the questions are listed in total and responses to all
questions, including question one, are broken out by responders. This provides a better look at the
individual pedagogies of each responder.
1. How much classroom time was devoted to discussing the speech and the assignment:
8 Responses:
Time
Faculty
3-4 weeks
3
(R1,R5,R8)
2 weeks
1 (R2)
1 week
1 (R4)
6-7 hours (over several class meetings)
2 (R6,R7)
2 hours (1 class meeting)
1(R3)
The common essay assignment is multi-layered and rigorous asking students to develop
the ability to work with multiple texts while responding to multiple writing outcomes.
It is difficult to imagine being able to incorporate the type of pedagogy necessary to
support this type of assignment in less that 5-6 class sessions. In future, besides
revisiting the actual assignment, it might be beneficial to be very prescriptive with
instructors on expectations for this essay.
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Questions 2-5:
2. What activities did you create to help students write academic argument relative to
this specific assignment?
3. How well did the activities work to ensure quality essays?
4. What activities would you repeat and what would you change?
5. Overall, how would you rate your instruction in this essay assignment?
Responder #1, devoted 6-8 class sessions (3-4 weeks) to assignment
Q2: “wrote a sample and shared my writing process in drafts . . .lots of others (will have to
look them up)”
Q3: “It worked well—others need work”
Q4: “I would add an activity from the beginning that helps students narrow their focus &
choose cohesive examples that would lead to a cohesive, meaningful argument.”
Q5: “Okay. It was difficult because it was the first time I’ve taught it, so students had
challenges I didn’t expect, but the tips from other instructors & the chapter in Brief Guide to
Writing from Readings helped minimize this.”
Responder #2, devoted 4 class sessions (2 weeks) to assignment
Q2: “1 session with groups working specifically on one S.T.[stylistic techniques]
brainstorming, outling, topic workshop”
Q3:“Great [on the session] average on those[brainstorming, etc.]”
Q4: “I would add assignment before on e,l,p [ethos, logos, pathos] . . . I would incorporate
more of the block quote activity . . . sent. My students obviously needed more time on
elaboration and style.”
Q5: “Having learned to start early on it, . . . I have an idea that I covered it well, but half the
papers I received showed otherwise [emphasis added]. It’s evident that there is a lack of what
critical thinking means to students.”
Responder#3, devoted one class meeting (two hours) to assignment
Q2: “Used the same assignment (s.t. & e.p.l)[s.t.=stylistic techniques, and e,p,l = ethos pathos,
logos] to construct in-class essay with Elie Weisels “Peril of Indifference” . . . peer editing,
Toulmin analysis, workshop w/me (all students).”
Q3: “fairly well, despite misinterpretations”
Q4: “repeat all. . . change the timing (too late); increase analysis/discussion of quotes,
including integration”
Q5: “1 as poor, 5 as best = 3.5”
Responder #4,devoted 2 class sessions (1 week) to assignment
Q2: “viewing and discussion of the filmed version of the speech; in-class reading discussion
and analysis of the text; review of the “critical essay” course requirement; lessons on the
rhetorical features of the speech.”
Q3: “I can’t be sure. Most essays were “adequate.” The proportion of failures was
approximately twice the # of outstanding essays. I like to believe that our activities allowed
people to write intelligently.”
Q4: “I would use more examples of texts using these “techniques” look at a broader range of
their applications, in addition to King’s essay.”
Q5: “This is a hard question to answer. Given that the assignment did not cohere with the rest
of the term’[s readings and topics, I believe I did the best job I could. I probably should have
spent at least one more class session looking at other examples of the “stylistic techniques” we
were evaluating. These were new to most, if not all, of my students, though we were familiar
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with ethos, pathos, logos.” [emphasis added in bold]
Responder #5, devoted 7 class sessions (3 1/2 weeks) to assignment
Q2:”Showed documentary and speech—lots of mini-workshops involving MLA, quotations,
the stylistic techniques, and the modes. Small groups would work on a task & then present
their findings to the class.”
Q3: “Hmmm. . . they seemed to totally get it in class, but most essays were in the B-C range.”
Q4: “I would repeat all of them! I would spend more time w/the actual drafts & revisions. I
would not make them include a definition of the technique in their final draft.”
Q5: “Being that it was my first time teaching it, I would give myself a 6/10 (happy face here.) I
don’t know how to answer that. The essays weren’t great, I thought, but compared to some I
read today, they weren’t bad overall.”[emphasis added in bold]
Responder #6, devoted 6-7 hours over several class sessions to assignment
Q2: “I’d evaluate ethos, pathos, logos and stylistic techniques via rhetorical analysis of the
Declaration of Independence. Students worked up a copy at home, then discussed their
findings in small groups before a class-wide discussion of what they found, how it was used,
whether it was effective or not, the purpose & intended audience. . . . + video. . .+writing
incorporating the various techniques.”
Q3: “Reasonably well, as it allowed us to examine each appeal & a variety of stylistic
techniques. There were a number of ‘aha!’ moments throughout preceded and followed by
questions and more expansive exploration/explanation.”
Q4: “I would keep the D of I exercise, it appeared useful, and augment our viewing of the “I
HaD” video. We watched it in class, and discussed it (with the request for them to view it on
their own @home) but next time I think it would be worthwhile to watch it again w/ stops for
analysis/discussion.”
Q5: “I think it turned out pretty well. We spent time on analysis, after spending time on each
concept. They had an in-class directed writing assignment where they took basic sentence and
had to incorporate certain elements or techniques (and to understand why they were using it
and what was supposed to be achieved through its use). We spent quite a bit of time trying to
apply the concepts to writing—analyzing that of others and using them in their own writing—
which appeared to give them “some level” of understanding and ability to implement those
concepts.”[emphasis added in bold]
Responder #7: devoted 6-7 hours total to assignment
Q2: “Group activities trying to put themselves in the 60s. discussion/examples of stylistic
techniques in texts other than the speech.” [emphasis added in bold]
Q3: “They helped students experience pathos and ethos.”
Q4: “I need to develop more types of activities.”
Q5: “On a scale of 1-10, an 8.”
Responder #8, devoted 6-8 class sessions (3-4 weeks) to assignment
Q2: “I used a lot of what Wilhoit [1A textbook author] suggests in the chapter about writing
evaluation arguments. I also gave my students handouts that explained ethos, pathos, and
logos. We did a lot of in-class discussion and writing activities, including peer reviews.”
Q3: “I need to spend more time discussing ethos, pathos, and logos. We also need tow ork on
critical thinking—not sure how to do this.”
Q4: “I like to the idea of not allowing them to use the words Ethos, Pathos, and Logos.”
Q5: “C- Average, but it was my first time [happy face here.].”
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Thoughts on the survey results
Overall, the surveys indicate significant and broad differences in instruction related to the common
essay assignment. In some instances, significant time (3-4 weeks) was invested in the assignment, but
little actual writing seems to have taken place. Other instructors added an additional text of
considerable rigor to an already challenging writing assignment. Why? What seems to be missing is a
clear process for writing an essay of considerable complexity, which seems to indicate a broad and
conflicted understanding of what English 1A and teaching writing, requires. This needs to be addressed
by the discipline.
Next Steps:
In fall 2013, the discipline will again require the common essay at the English 1A level. We are asking
the department chair to try to assign two sections of the course to each faculty member, full-time and
associate, so we can ask faculty to use the common essay in only one section. There will be a meeting to
norm the essays and assess critical thinking, and there will be a full assessment of late term, sourcebased English 1A papers at the end of the semester to determine if the common essay had any impact on
critical thinking in the late term papers. We are working with the Dean of Student Success to insure the
assessment is set up appropriately.
Final Thoughts
The English 1A common essay indicated that only 36% of English 1A students demonstrated
competency in critical thinking at midterm. There could be a variety of reasons for this outcome. One of
the primary factors is the wide spectrum of faculty expertise in the teaching of English 1A. Generally,
English majors select literature as their master’s competency. The discipline needs to develop a way to
transition instructors who are expert in literature into experts in writing and critical thinking.
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Appendix A
Common Essay: English 1A Essay #2 Assignment, Texts and Instructions to Faculty
General: This essay assignment requires you to utilize multiple resources; in this case, it is a handout, by
Dorothy Seyler, that discusses why writers use certain techniques. Make sure you keep this handout
nearby as you compose your essay in response to the assignment. Also, you will want to use your course
handbook to determine how to cite her document and include it on a works cited page.
In a paper of roughly three to four pages (750-1,000 words) discuss the various stylistic techniques
used by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. in his speech “I Have a Dream.” Focus your analysis how effective
Dr. King is in using three specific stylistic techniques, especially as they appeal to logos (the
validity(logic) of the argument itself), pathos (appealing to audience emotion and beliefs), and/or ethos
(establishes hi credibility and ethics). (Wilhoit A Brief Guide to Writing Academic Arguments 14-38).
You will need to analyze the effective use of at least three (and no more than four) specific stylistic
techniques. In general, the three most apparent and accessible stylistic techniques are word choice,
repetition, and figurative language (especially metaphors).
Audience: Your audience is familiar with the speech, but is relying on you for careful analysis of how
Dr. King uses the stylistic tools and how he uses these tools to persuade a divided nation to his cause.
Therefore, a brief summary is appropriate, but it should not dominate your discussion. It might be
important to provide some background information as to when the speech was given and who might
have composed his various audiences (politicians, white Americans, African-Americans, etc.). America
might be a very different country today if not for Dr. King’s speech and persuasive skills. More
importantly, your readers are hoping you will analyze how effectively Dr. King employs the stylistic
techniques to support his main point. Of course, this requires that you understand the rhetorical
context Dr. King is in at the time of the speech and you can articulate his main point. All of these
elements can be used to determine how Dr. King uses stylistic techniques to persuade his audiences for
change.
Purpose: This essay should help you display your ability to 1. Recognize the use of stylistic techniques
in appealing to logos, pathos, and ethos; 2. Analyze the effectiveness of these appeals in persuading an
audience to make change, his main point; 3. Structure a fluid and clear argument in which you offer a
main claim, sub claims, evidence/grounds (quotes from the text) and warrants (how the
grounds/evidence connects to your sub claims and central or main claim (analysis); and 4. Employ the
conventions of written English appropriately, especially the quotation rules, parenthetical citations, and
entries for works cited. As a final requirement, you should use a block quote, ellipsis, and brackets at
least once in the paper.
A few suggestions:Read Seyler’s handout and the speech itself several times noting passages you wish to
explore more fully;
1. Go to the Internet and watch and listen to Dr. King delivering his speech. Tying the
audio/visual elements to what you have read might help you develop your critical thinking to a
greater degree, especially in identifying passages to investigate further.
2. Following your careful readings of the text, your notes from class discussion, and the handout
on techniques, determine the three stylistic techniques you wish to use. Keep in mind that the
three most apparent techniques are word choice, repetition, and metaphors.
3. Reread the speech carefully, focusing on points involving the three stylistic techniques you have
selected. Classify the examples you select as appeals to logos, pathos, and/or ethos. Determine
if the use of the stylistic technique is effective or not. Consider using a chart to help you collect
this information.
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4. Draft your essay at the paragraph level beginning with a sub claim (that connects to the main
claim, keeping in mind that these may change as your paper evolves due to your critical
thinking, reading, and writing of the essay). Each sub claim should identify one stylistic
technique AND its specific appeal (to logos, pathos, ethos). Select a strong and appropriate
example(s) that includes the stylistic technique and provides opportunity for discussing how
the technique is used in his appeal. You may want to consider using a block quote, or an
ellipsis, and/or brackets somewhere in your evidence, as that is the most natural place to use
these quotation devices.
After providing the evidence, offer the warrants (analyses) of how you see the evidence
connecting to the sub claim. Warrants (analysis) should provide a clear picture of how the
textual support connects to the sub claim. In other words, why did you select the quote you
have. You must have seen some type of connection between the textual evidence you chose and
a particular technique and purpose (logos, ethos, pathos).Analysis should include a comment
about the effectiveness of the use of the stylistic technique in appealing to logos, pathos, and/or
ethos. NOTE: Eventually, after analyzing the evidence, you may want to revise the sub claim to
include your interpretation of effectiveness. Consider each paragraph a “mini” analytical unit
that will be “pasted” together with other units for the longer essay.
5. Once all analytical paragraphs have been developed and revised several times, develop the
longer essay by “pasting” the units into a fluid and coherent argument. This can be done
through careful revision and editing. Use this process multiple times in order to ensure that
what you have produced has one argument (claim) with sub claims and textual evidence (at the
paragraph level) that are connected through warrants (your analysis of how these are all
connected). WHEW!
6. Proofread and edit the argument. To ensure that you have the essay you expect,
 print it out and set it aside for at least half a day;
 then, pick up the hard copy of the essay and read it aloud, noting any areas that seem
confusing or difficult to read;
 make sure your argument is fluid and that warrants and evidence support the main claim;
and
 repeat this process until you can “hear” the essay you want to submit.
7. Review your introductory paragraph to ensure that what you introduced at the start of the
process is valid now that you have revised the essay multiple times.
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Martin Luther King Speeches
I Have a Dream - Address at March on Washington
August 28, 1963. Washington, D.C.
I am happy to join with you today in what will go down in history as the greatest demonstration for
freedom in the history of our nation. [Applause]
Five score years ago, a great American, in whose symbolic shadow we stand signed the Emancipation
Proclamation. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of Negro slaves
who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long
night of captivity.
But one hundred years later, we must face the tragic fact that the Negro is still not free. One hundred
years later, the life of the Negro is still sadly crippled by the manacles of segregation and the chains of
discrimination. One hundred years later, the Negro lives on a lonely island of poverty in the midst of a
vast ocean of material prosperity. One hundred years later, the Negro is still languishing in the corners
of American society and finds himself an exile in his own land. So we have come here today to
dramatize an appalling condition.
In a sense we have come to our nation's capital to cash a check. When the architects of our republic
wrote the magnificent words of the Constitution and the declaration of Independence, they were
signing a promissory note to which every American was to fall heir. This note was a promise that all
men would be guaranteed the inalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
It is obvious today that America has defaulted on this promissory note insofar as her citizens of color
are concerned. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, America has given the Negro people a bad
check which has come back marked "insufficient funds." But we refuse to believe that the bank of
justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of
opportunity of this nation. So we have come to cash this check -- a check that will give us upon
demand the riches of freedom and the security of justice. We have also come to this hallowed spot to
remind America of the fierce urgency of now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or
to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley
of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice. Now is the time to open the doors of opportunity to all
of God's children. Now is the time to lift our nation from the quicksands of racial injustice to the solid
rock of brotherhood.
It would be fatal for the nation to overlook the urgency of the moment and to underestimate the
determination of the Negro. This sweltering summer of the Negro's legitimate discontent will not pass
until there is an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality. Nineteen sixty-three is not an end, but a
beginning. Those who hope that the Negro needed to blow off steam and will now be content will have
a rude awakening if the nation returns to business as usual. There will be neither rest nor tranquility in
America until the Negro is granted his citizenship rights. The whirlwinds of revolt will continue to
shake the foundations of our nation until the bright day of justice emerges.
But there is something that I must say to my people who stand on the warm threshold which leads into
the palace of justice. In the process of gaining our rightful place we must not be guilty of wrongful
deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred.
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We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. We must not allow
our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again we must rise to the majestic
heights of meeting physical force with soul force. The marvelous new militancy which has engulfed the
Negro community must not lead us to distrust of all white people, for many of our white brothers, as
evidenced by their presence here today, have come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our
destiny and their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom. We cannot walk alone.
And as we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall march ahead. We cannot turn back. There are
those who are asking the devotees of civil rights, "When will you be satisfied?" We can never be
satisfied as long as our bodies, heavy with the fatigue of travel, cannot gain lodging in the motels of the
highways and the hotels of the cities. We cannot be satisfied as long as the Negro's basic mobility is
from a smaller ghetto to a larger one. We can never be satisfied as long as a Negro in Mississippi cannot
vote and a Negro in New York believes he has nothing for which to vote. No, no, we are not satisfied,
and we will not be satisfied until justice rolls down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream.
I am not unmindful that some of you have come here out of great trials and tribulations. Some of you
have come fresh from narrow cells. Some of you have come from areas where your quest for freedom
left you battered by the storms of persecution and staggered by the winds of police brutality. You have
been the veterans of creative suffering. Continue to work with the faith that unearned suffering is
redemptive.
Go back to Mississippi, go back to Alabama, go back to Georgia, go back to Louisiana, go back to the
slums and ghettos of our northern cities, knowing that somehow this situation can and will be changed.
Let us not wallow in the valley of despair.
I say to you today, my friends, that in spite of the difficulties and frustrations of the moment, I still have
a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.
I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We hold
these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal."
I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former
slave owners will be able to sit down together at a table of brotherhood.
I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a desert state, sweltering with the heat of
injustice and oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.
I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the
color of their skin but by the content of their character.
I have a dream today.
I have a dream that one day the state of Alabama, whose governor's lips are presently dripping with the
words of interposition and nullification, will be transformed into a situation where little black boys and
black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls and walk together as sisters
and brothers.
I have a dream today.
I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low,
the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the glory of the
Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together.
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This is our hope. This is the faith with which I return to the South. With this faith we will be able to
hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith we will be able to transform the
jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith we will be
able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for
freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.
This will be the day when all of God's children will be able to sing with a new meaning, "My country,
'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing. Land where my fathers died, land of the pilgrim's pride,
from every mountainside, let freedom ring."
And if America is to be a great nation this must become true. So let freedom ring from the prodigious
hilltops of New Hampshire. Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York. Let freedom ring
from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania!
Let freedom ring from the snowcapped Rockies of Colorado!
Let freedom ring from the curvaceous peaks of California!
But not only that; let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia!
Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee!
Let freedom ring from every hill and every molehill of Mississippi. From every mountainside, let
freedom ring.
When we let freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state
and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white
men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of
the old Negro spiritual, "Free at last! free at last! thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"
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Stylistic Techniques
from Read, Reason, Write by Dorothy Seyler
If words are highlighted, make sure you look up the definition.
WORD CHOICE
In addition to responding to a writer's choice of connotative language, observe the kinds of words
that are chosen, the level of diction used. Are the writer's words primarily typical of conversational
language (that is, colloquial) or of a more formal style? Does the writer use slang words or technical
words? Is the word choice concrete and vivid or abstract and intellectual? These differences help to
shape tone and affect our response to what we read. For example, [. . .] Lincoln's word choice in "The
Gettysburg Address" is formal and abstract. Lincoln writes: "on this continent" rather than "in this land,"
"we take increased devotion" rather than "we become more committed." The technical style is inherent
to disciplines and fields of study. For example, nonscientists might not understand words related to
experimentation. Or in English, we discuss metacognition, biases, marginalized communities, etc.
Oftentimes, words are used to separate members of a community from non members.
One way to produce an informal style is to choose simple words: "use" instead of "exercise." To
create greater informality (a colloquial style), a writer can use contractions: "can't" for "cannot," "we're"
for "we are." [. . .] There are no contractions in "The Gettysburg Address." Contractions are one of the
chief marks of colloquial style. In the writing you will be producing for this class you should aim for an
[academic] style [. . .].
SENTENCE STRUCTURE
The eighteenth-century satirist Jonathan Swift once said that writing well was a simple matter of
putting "proper words in proper places." Choosing the words is only part of the task; writers also think
carefully about the arrangement of words into sentence structures. Examining a writer's choice of
structures will reveal how sentence patterns affect style and tone. Are the writer's sentences generally
long, short, or varied in length? Are the structures primarily;
• Simple (one independent clause)
Example: Leadership is as much a question of timing as anything else.
• Compound (two or more independent clauses)
Example: The Industrial Revolution was under way, and those affected by it could detect change
in the course of their own lifetimes.
• Complex (at least one independent and one dependent clause)
Example: When times get tough, people don't want to be told what went wrong.
The longer the sentence and more complex the structure, the more formal the style.
In "The Gettysburg Address" three sentences range from 10 to 16 words, six sentences from 21 to
29 words, and the final sentence is an incredible 82 words. All but two of Lincoln's sentences are either
complex or compound-complex sentences. Other elements of sentence structure shape a writer's style.
The brevity, repetition of structure, and involvement of the reader, who "completes" the sentence, all
contribute to understanding.
An overly simplistic sentence structure, just like an overly simplistic vocabulary, can be used to
show that the writer thinks the subject is silly or childish or insulting. In one of her columns, Ellen
Goodman objects to society's oversimplifying of addictions and need to believe in quick and lasting
cures. To emphasize her point, she presents several well-known examples, but notice her technique:
Hi, my name is Jane and I was once a bulimic but now I am an exercise guru. . . . Hi, my
name is Oprah and I was a food addict but now I am a size 10.
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Parallelism (coordination of elements) and antithesis (contrast) are two more techniques of
structuring sentences that writers can use to convey attitude. When two or more items (phrases,
clauses) are parallel in structure, this signals readers that the items are equally important. In his essay
“How to be a Leader,” Michael Korda coordinates three verbal phrases that assert a leader is like a
mirror in three ways. He writes, a leader
1. reflects back our purpose
2. Puts into words our dreams
3. Transforms our needs and fears
Antithesis creates tension; the sentence in contrast structure says "not this" but "that." Lincoln delights in
this kind of structure. A good example is the following:
The world will little note nor long remember
what we say here,
but
it [the world] can never forget what they did here. (from “The
Gettysburg Address”)
Notice that this sentence combines parallel structure and antithesis. The two main parts of the sentence
have the same pattern, each part ending with a what clause, but the shift of key words in the second
part establishes the contrast of ideas.
METAPHORS
When Korda writes that a leader is like a mirror, he is using a simile. When Lincoln asserts that the
world will not remember, he is using a metaphor. Similes and metaphors are more alike than different.
Both draw a comparison between two things that are not really alike but seem, in the writer's mind, to
be alike in some significant way. The difference between metaphors and similes is only one of
expression. Metaphors state directly, or imply, the comparison; similes express the comparison by using
a connection such as like or as. We can see the difference between metaphors and similes by using
Korda's idea:
Simile: A leader is like a mirror.
Metaphor: A leader mirrors the desires of his or her followers.
What is most important to us as readers is not the correct label for the expression. What is most
important is that we recognize the use of figurative language, we observe the two items being
compared, and we understand the point of the comparison.
When analyzing a writer's style, observing how often a writer uses metaphors (or similes) is
significant, but more important is the impact of the chosen metaphors. The comparisons that writers
make reveal much about their perceptions of and attitudes toward their subjects. Korda's simile of a
leader as a mirror captures his perception that a leader is but a good reflection of the desires of his or
her followers.
Metaphors, like connotative words, are so powerful, so emotionally compelling that we respond to
them even if we are not conscious of their use. But to he fully aware of a writer's attitude, we need to
recognize metaphors and then to take time to "open up" each one: to state the two items being
compared, to understand the point of the comparison, and to consider the emotional effect of the
comparison.
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ORGANIZATION & EXAMPLES
As you study a writer's word choice and sentence structure, do not neglect the work's organization and
choice of examples, for both reveal attitude and shape the reader's response. When analyzing
organization consider both volume and placement. Is the writer expansive, using many words to
develop a point' Or is the style economical-brief, concise' Are some points developed at length while
others are passed over quickly? The amount of development can tell us something about a writer's
attitude. Placement is also significant Ideas introduced at the beginning or end of a paragraph or essay
are given more weight than those places in the middle, where they are most quickly forgotten.
Blocking a work's organization can be helpful in seeing how organization reinforces other elements of
style.
The examples chosen to illustrate points also merit our attention. Can we agree that the examples are
representative, or has the writer distorted the realities of the issue to support the thesis? Are Korda's
examples of presidents who were good (or bad) leaders consistent with most historians' evaluations of
our presidents? Asimov. provides three examples of problems we need to address before they become
catastrophes. To make his point convincingly, he needs to select three that most readers would also
consider serious, or his argument will lose some punch.
REPETITION
Some repetition of key words and phrases will occur in well-written and unified essays. Some writers,
though, go beyond this technique of unified writing and use repetition to produce an effective cadence,
like a drum beating in the background, keeping time with the speaker's fist pounding the lectern for
emphasis. In his repetition of the now-famous phrase "I have a dream," " Martin Luther King, Jr. gives
emphasis to his vision of an ideal America . Repetition generally gives weight and seriousness to a work
and thus is appropriate when serious issues are being discussed in a forceful manner.
HYPERBOLE, UNDERSTATEMENT, AND IRONY
Three other techniques for shaping tone and expressing attitude include hyperbole (overstatement),
understatement, and verbal irony. The three are similar in that all function by creating a discrepancy
between what the writer says and what the writer actually means for the reader to understand.
Hyperbole is the easiest of the three to recognize, for the writer so overstates the case that we spot the
joking, or satiric intent. When an exasperated parent says to a five-year-old, "I've told you a million
times to brush your teeth," we recognize that humor, created by exaggeration, is being used to get the
youngster into the bathroom. Although hyperbole can be used to satirize, usually the tone is light,
because of the humorous quality in overstatement.
Understatement and irony can also be used with a light hand hut often create a more serious or biting
tone. To play down what is important is to give emphasis to the issue's seriousness. Recall Goodman's
sentences from her column on addiction.. They can also he noted as examples of understatement, for
the sentence, play down the complex causes for addiction and the difficulties of becoming-and-staying
cured.
Hyperbole expresses more than is meant and understatement expresses less; verbal irony can be defined
as expressing the opposite of what is meant Recognizing verbal irony in writing takes skilled reading
and some practice. When the once-again exasperated parent says to the scruffy-jeans-and-sweatshirtdressed teenager, "Dressed for dinner, I see," the teenager can tell from the tone of voice and body
language, as well as the social context, that the parent really wants the outfit changed before the family
goes to dinner. In writing, the body language is missing and the tone is somewhat harder to "hear," so
we have to rely on the context of the passage, and indeed the subject and purpose of the entire piece, to
determine if irony is present.
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Instructor’s Notes
Spring 2013, Common Essay
Due Date: Submit 5 papers by April 5 to Yolanda
Dear Instructor,
It’s that time of semester again! Once again, the common essay focuses on the effectiveness of Dr. Martin Luther
King, Jr.’s speech “I Have a Dream,” so students have the opportunity to build from descriptive, narrative,
responsive expository writing to academic argument. To that end, multiple resources have been provided to help
students make this transition. Please spend at least 3 class sessions discussing the assignment and the text.
1.
2.
Assignment Sheet: The assignment sheet is long—2 pages, and it mirrors the same format I use in my
courses, so students can recognize assignment sheets automatically. While the assignment itself is
approximately four paragraphs, the remainder of the handout offers students a step-by-step process they
can use to work on the essay outside of the classroom environment. This can be vital to their success
because they need references beyond us.
However, please note that in order to meet the requirements in this assignment, students must have
received workshops in quoting and significant classroom discussion where the analysis chart can be
generated (result of collaborative workshop #1) as well as workshop #2. All of these are included in the
attachments for this assignment.
The speech “I Have a Dream”: Consider having students number the paragraphs, so when there are
references to the speech in class, we can refer to the actual paragraph---it saves time! The first time we
discuss this speech in class, consider showing the entire speech on YouTube—it’s only 17 + minutes.
Consider also using YouTube to offer an understanding of the speech historically.
For those students not familiar with American history, please refer them to
www.archives.gov a valid website where references to historical documents (Emancipation
Proclamation, “Gettysburg Address,” etc.) are available with clear explanations. This is very important
for students to be able to discern the subtle references Dr. King makes as well as the effectiveness of his
speech. However, students often want to analyze these documents, so be careful here.
3.
Seyler’s handout: The definitions and explanations of the only three stylistic techniques we will use are
provided by Dorothy Seyler and they are an important element of the essay.
4.
Workshops 1 and 2 and paragraph on word choice: What has been provided have some commentary
embedded in them, but to use them, simply clear the commentary and highlights and use them as needed
to help student develop a sound essay. For workshop #2, it is more productive to use writing that the
class produced from their first drafts.
Final Thoughts:
As with any other academic argumentative paper, the more time spent writing and structuring at the paragraph
level, the more effective the papers usually become. Please contact me with any questions you might have.
Sheryl
[email protected]
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Appendix B: Resource #1 Analysis Chart to be Developed in class by students
Technique
Repetition
Example
Paragraph 8:
“We cannot be
satisfied”
Word Choice
“Five score years
ago”
Metaphors
“the chains of
discrimination”
Purpose/Context
*Gains the attention of
the listeners (pathos)
*Emphasizes the
seriousness of the
situation (logos)
*Put in the middle of
the speech to continue
to keep the listeners’
interest (logos, pathos)
*Used in the beginning
of the essay to set up
the rest of his
essay(logos)
*Introduces
formality(ethos)
*Impact the
tone(ethos, logos)
*connect to Lincoln
(ethos)
*Used in the beginning
of the essay (par. 3)
*Sets up the problem
that needs to be fixed
(logos)
Analysis
•
•
•
•
•
Reminds audience of
Abraham Lincoln freeing
slaves 100 years earlier
with Emancipation
Proclamation
Important to appeal to all
audience by using white
President who
championed slaves
Provides visual picture
of chains & manacles so
audience can relate to
situation of African
Americans
provides an emotional
appeal
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Appendix C: Group Project “Learning from Writing:
Learning from Our Writing Workshop #2
Purpose:
To examine and analyze what has been written in response to assignment #2 in order
to learn how to construct written arguments more effectively.
Learning #1:
Groups 1 and 2: ANALYZING THE BLOCK QUOTE
Below, you will find a block quote from one of the argumentative essays submitted in response to
assignment #2. Your job is to analyze the block quote and share your results with the class.
Many metaphors are scattered throughout Dr. King's speech to describe the injustices and
inequalities that the African-Americans suffered during that time. Dr. King paints a very vivid picture of
where the African American people stood in society:
It is obvious today that America has defaulted on this promissory note insofar as [America's]
citizens of color are concerned. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, America has given the
Negro people a bad check which has come back marked “insufficient funds.” But we refuse to
believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient
funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation. So we have come to cash this check – a
check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and the security of justice.
Step #1: Determine what technique is being analyzed __________________ and the purpose.
Step #2: Underline all examples of that technique found in the block quote.
Step #3: Provide a clear connection between the examples of the technique and the sub claim
indicated in the introductory sentences.
Step #4: Share with the class (as a group).
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Learning #2: Groups 3, 4, 5, 6-- Using the essay provided (begins on page 3), each group is assigned
a specific paragraph for analysis. The steps of analysis include:
For body paragraphs:
•
•
•
•
Identify the sub claim(s) and purpose(s)
o Are they located in the first sentence?
o Do they make sense?
o Are they specific?
Evaluate the evidence
o Does the evidence connect to the sub claim?
o Is the evidence quoted accurately?
o Is the evidence bridged into and not detached?
Evaluate the analysis
o Does the writer analyze at a deeper level than merely restating
what the evidence says?
o Does the writer connect the evidence to the purpose identified in
the first sentence?
o Does the writer help the reader (you and me) understand his/her
connections between sub claim, purpose, evidence, and
conclusion?
Is the final concluding thought a logical result of the discussion in the
paragraph?
For the conclusion:
•
•
What does the concluding paragraph do? What is its purpose?
What does the concluding paragraph say?
Group Assignments are:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Introductory Paragraph (to be analyzed by Ms. Tschetter)
Body Paragraph #1 (group 3)
Body paragraph #2 (group 4)
Body paragraph #3 (group 5)
Conclusion
(group 6)
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Cory College
Professor Tschetter
English 1A
8 March 2010
He Had a Dream
Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. was the leader of the civil rights movement in the 1960’s. His speech,
entitled “I Have a Dream” was given in front of the Lincoln Memorial on August 28, 1963. Dr. King used
his speech as a rally for people, blacks and whites alike, who desired equality and social justice, but there
is so much more to it than what appears on the surface. Dr. King employs a number of stylistic
techniques, all of which serving a purpose too subtle for the naked eye to pick up. Dr. King uses the
stylistic techniques of word choice, metaphors, and repetition to fuel hope and bring about change.
One of the many stylistic techniques Dr. King employs to end segregation and bring about
equality is word choice. At the beginning of the speech, Dr. King says, “Five score years ago.” Those
words are extremely effective at making his audience of African Americans and the millions watching at
home think of one of the most famous Americans to have ever lived, Abraham Lincoln. At a time in
America’s history when racial injustices are beginning to become too much to bear, Dr. King had to find a
suitable figurehead for his movement that all Americans could believe in and trust. It was Dr. King’s
intention to have his audience think about Lincoln, as it was Lincoln who freed the slaves with the
Emancipation Proclamation, and that affects every African American in the country. Dr. King also
intends that the phrase “Five score years ago,” bring up thoughts of Lincoln because Lincoln held the
country together through great turmoil during the Civil War. If Lincoln could stop the violence of a civil
war in only one term of presidency, Dr. King wanted to show that he and anyone willing to join him
could also stop the violence against African Americans and end segregation for good. Dr. King also uses
the phrase “Five score years ago” to symbolically tie the first portion of his speech to the past. A score is
twenty years, so five score years are equal to one hundred years. And in those one hundred years, Dr.
King shows his audience of all races that the pseudo-freedom that African Americans must live with is a
betrayal to Lincoln’s memory. Through the sense of guilt that creates, Dr. King hopes to create greater
support from the American public. Dr. King’s word choice is used effectively and precisely.
Another of the stylistic techniques Dr. King uses is metaphors. Dr. King does something with his
metaphors that is extremely important in his time of injustice, and that is that they are transformative.
Almost every single metaphor Dr. King uses is meant to relate to the injustices currently suffered by
African Americans and transform it into hope for the future. This use is evident in lines such as, “With
this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of
brotherhood.” Dr. King uses that metaphor to call to attention the disharmonious nature of the United
States’ minorities with white people, which Dr. King then changes into harmonious brotherhood. Dr.
King also uses this metaphor because the word discord has musical meaning, but what’s more is that
discord can also be defined as “Lack of agreement; contention; strife” (“Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary”
203). The second definition of the word discord is what’s happening in America in the 1960’s. The
musical aspect of this metaphor is something that all Americans can relate to. Everyone knows the ear-
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shattering sounds of discord, and everyone knows the sound of a beautiful symphony. Dr. King’s intent in
this case was colloquial, because he was relating to the common man in a way everyone could
understand. Dr. King also creates a sense of the difficulty of the task of ending segregation. Anyone could
make the sounds of a jangling discord without any training whatsoever, but it is hard and requires years of
experience to write and perform a symphony. By creating that image of difficulty Dr. King shows his
audience the colossal amount of work they all face in order to end segregation. Knowing that information
from the start means that everyone who decides to join Dr. King in his quest to bring about equality will
be dedicated and will commit themselves fully. Through his metaphors, Dr. King creates a sense of hope
in his audience for the future equality they will earn.
Dr. King’s use of repetition is extremely powerful and effective. Out of all the stylistic
techniques, this is perhaps the most prevalent and used to the greatest effect. Repetition is used in order to
create an emphasis on certain words or phrases. This is especially important in a speech because most
listeners don’t hear everything that is said, so in order to separate out and bring to the forefront specific
points one must use repetition. Dr. King uses repetition a number of times, such as the famous lines “I
have a dream,” and “Let freedom ring.” With these statements, Dr. King ushers in his view for the future
and tries to motivate those willing to listen to help him in creating a free and equal America. Dr. King
also uses this technique in the beginning of his speech, “But one hundred years later, we must face the
tragic fact that the Negro is still not free,” which not only creates a sense of guilt, but also again ties his
speech to Lincoln. With this repetitive line Dr. King highlights the constant struggle that African
Americans must go through just because they were born with a certain skin color. That line also draws his
speech from the past to the future. Finally, Dr. King highlights the importance of present-day America
with the extremely powerful line “Now is the time to lift our nation from the quicksands of racial injustice
to the solid rock of brotherhood.” This line not only draws a connection to his dream, it also creates a
sense of urgency and motivates all who are willing to listen. Not only that, it also highlights the fact that
Dr. King’s dream is not for his race to be better than any other, or for any race to be superior, but that
everyone should be brothers. Dr. King’s choice of repetitive lines is powerful and effective.
Dr. King brilliantly weaves so many subtleties into such a relatively short speech that almost 50
years later it still must be analyzed to no end. Dr. King was a southern Baptist preacher before he was
sucked into the leading role of the civil rights movement, I’m sure that had a great effect on his ability to
give a speech. Dr. King knew just what to say, when to say it, and how to say it. From this we can see Dr.
King’s lasting effect, and the fact that although we have come far in the area of civil rights, we still have a
long way to go and it will be Dr. King’s timeless words that usher us into a new era of prosperity and
brotherhood.
21
Appendix D: This is the email forwarded after the initial meeting to discuss the common essay in
English 1A.
English 1A Common Essay & Assessment : Initial Meeting Overview
Last Friday, nine colleagues met to discuss the upcoming English 1A common essay assignment and
assessment project. The associate faculty participants at this meeting will receive the initial $50 stipend
for attending the initial workshop for the assessment of English 1A at Norco.
At the start of the meeting, Dr. Greg Aycock, Dean of Student Success, and I provided an overview of
the past two years’ assessments of English 1A, focusing specifically on critical thinking. With only 53%
of students showing competency in this outcome, 3 this new assessment is vital as English 1A is the
ONLY course that teaches critical thinking required for students who graduate or transfer. In effect,
English 1A has become a “quasi” capstone course for critical thinking. Furthermore, and perhaps more
distressing, is that Dr. Arend Flick’s assessment report discusses how it is disconcerting that with only
53% showing competence in critical thinking, approximately 90% of students passed the course.
Further discussion of this area included:
•
Recognition that there may be too many instructional outcomes in the course—when faced
with students who are not prepared for 1A, it can become challenging to teach critical thinking
when students’ writing styles and surface problems are significant.
o How do students access 1A?
 Accuplacer
 EAP—accepted by CSUs and now accepted at Norco College. For more
information on EAP, please visit CSU’s website.
 Matriculation from English 50 or 80.
•
Grades assigned to specific essays are possibly inflated.
•
The fear of failing students, especially for associate faculty
OUTCOME: After completing the common reading, participants work collaboratively to create
and maintain a grading rubric for English 1A at Norco.
•
Developing assignments that result in the type of writing desired (see handout in packet)
•
The ability to share assignments among our course instructors (classroom and writing center)
to construct knowledge as a collaborative group.
•
Since the common reading and assessment will occur AFTER each instructor has graded her/his
students’ papers, participants should analyze how the norming session impacts on the grades
already given, and sharing this analysis with the group.
Other Issues:
•
3
Textbooks: We discussed the probability that Norco will develop, in collaboration, a “common”
rhetoric text (using several different books) to be used in teaching argument (critical thinking).
As the instructor, you would supplement this rhetoric with your own readings, thus allowing
Tschetter, Sheryl. “A Brief Overview of Previous Two Years’ Assessments of Critical Thinking in English 1A
Resulting in this Intervention/Re-assessment.” Source: Flick, Arend. “Follow-up Report on English 1A Assessment
for General Education Outcomes: Spring, 2012.
22
you to focus the class on your potential interest. Potential advantages of this include:
o
o
A common vocabulary for argument (critical thinking)
Consensus in what critical thinking means
•
Assignments: We recognize the need to continue workshops in this area AND understand the
importance of sharing our assignments with each other. I truly believe that we cannot continue
to work in isolation. To truly be knowledgeable, we must be challenged by others.
•
Writing Center: Subsequent to this meeting, I have emailed a three-page summary of the
writing center AND forwarded Dr. Farrar’s email regarding reporting for census.
Timeline for English 1A Project:
•
Currently:
o We will work to develop a rubric for our reading/assessment. When it is finished, I will
forward to you.
o I am reviewing the assignment to see if it needs more generality. I will have this done
ASAP and forward to you. If you have any suggestions, please forward those to me
NOW.
•
October 31: Please put in my mailbox or email to me five (5) random samples of the essay on “I
Have a Dream.” Please make sure that all identifiers – including your names – be removed from
the samples I receive.
•
November 1+: Once I have received all the samples—there is no opting out—I will work with
Arend Flick to develop “range finders.”
•
Friday, November 16: We will meet collaboratively to norm the sample papers and assess the
papers for critical thinking. Associate Faculty receives $50 for participating.
•
Winter Intersession: Using your input and analyses, I will draft the assessment report and
forward to you for comments. Once this is finished, associate faculty will receive the final $50
for the assessment.
Final Thoughts:
From my perspective, this meeting was one of the most productive I have had the opportunity to attend.
Differing opinions were articulated and consensus was, for the most part, achieved. This was due to the
willingness of attendees to share their thoughts on a variety of issues and to question aspects of the
project and the campus. Thanks to all who participated, and for those of you who could not, we missed
your input.
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