Sample Unit

Unity
これまでの課で, Paragraph の基本とその書き方を, Writing のプロセス
に従って学習してきました。この課では,よい Paragraph の大きな条件のひ
とつである Unity(統一性)とは何かを理解し,それに抵触しない書き方を学
びます。Outlineを作成しているとき,またはSupportを書いているとき,常
に Unity に気を配らなくてはなりません。
Unit 7 ➤ Unity
47
Aspects of a Good Paragraph
統一性,結束性のあるパラグラフを目指して
Unity within a Paragraph
これまでの復習になりますが, Illustrative Paragraph は何のために書くのか,その目
的をもう一度考えてみてください。それは,ひとつの Main Idea を読み手に納得させる
ためでしたね。 Support に書く説明,具体例,実例などは,そのための手段にしか過ぎ
ず, Main Idea とは別の主張を行っているのではありません。ふたつの主張を行いたい
のなら, Paragraph をふたつに分けるべきであり, One-Paragraph Essay にはできませ
ん。この「ひとつの Idea に統一する必要性」を Unity と呼んでいます。
Unity に矛盾する行為とは, Topic Sentence が示す Topic 以外のことについて書いた
り, Main Idea と逆のこと,または無関係なことを書いたり, Main Idea を直接支持し
ないことを書いたりすることです。例を見ながら順を追って見ていくことにしましょ
う。
下の Paragraph を読んでみてください。何か気がつくことがありますか。
Weeding the Garden
The most frustrating job I am assigned at home is weeding the
garden. According to the rules set by my parents, I have to wash
dishes after supper, take the garbage out in the morning, and help
Mother clean the house on the weekend, besides weeding the garden
when necessary. To start with, I have no interest in gardening, so I
take no pleasure in planting flowers, keeping the flower beds neat, or
even just being in the garden to look at the plants. In addition, weeds
grow wildly in the most unpleasant time of the year for human beings.
After squatting in the dirt pulling weeds under the scorching sun for
an hour, I come into the house sunburned, soiled, and drenched with
sweat. If I wait until the temperature cools down, I am attacked by
yet another menace: mosquitoes. These tiny bugs feast on me while I
weed, and afterwards, make hot, humid summer nights even more
intolerable with itchy, irritating spots all over my body. I certainly
prefer any other domestic duty to weeding the garden.
Topic Sentence の次の According to the rules . . . で始まる文が,何かおかしい,また
はない方がいい,と感じたなら, Unity が理解できている証拠です。この文は明らかに
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Unity に抵触しています。なぜなら,この Paragraph の Topic は, weeding the garden
「草むしり」であり, Main Idea は「それがフラストレーションのたまる仕事だ」である
のに, According to the rules . . . の文は,草むしりについてではなく, Main Idea を支
持しているわけでもありません。書き手は, Topic の背景的な情報のつもりでこれを書
いたのでしょうが,逆効果です。 One-Paragraph Essay を書くとき往々にして,このよ
うな背景的な情報を安易に入れてしまい,脱線したり,論点をぼやかしてしまう危険性
があります。
同じ Paragraph の次の例はどうでしょう。 Unity の観点から,まずいところがありま
すか。
Weeding the Garden
The most frustrating job I am assigned at home is weeding the
garden. To start with, I have no interest in gardening, so I take no
pleasure in planting flowers, keeping the flower beds neat, or even
just being in the garden to look at the plants. When the flowers are in
full bloom, even I am enchanted by their beauty, though. In addition,
weeds grow wildly in the most unpleasant time of the year for human
beings. After squatting in the dirt pulling weeds under the scorching
sun for an hour, I come into the house sunburned, soiled, and drenched
with sweat. If I wait until the temperature cools down, I am attacked
by yet another menace: mosquitoes. These tiny bugs feast on me while
I weed, and afterwards, make hot, humid summer nights even more
intolerable with itchy, irritating spots all over my body. I certainly
prefer any other domestic duty to weeding the garden.
失敗は 3 文目の When the flowers are . . . です。 Main Idea を支持するどころか,そ
れとほぼ逆のことを言っているからです。 Main Idea とは逆のこと,またはまったく関
係ないことを入れてよいわけがありません。 Support を書いている最中に,このような
Idea が頭に浮かんだとしても,それを文にするのを抑制するための, Unity のチェック
機能を働かせるようにしてください。
もう一度,今度は Paragraph の最後の方に注意して読んでみてください。
Unit 7 ➤ Unity
49
Aspects of a Good Paragraph
統一性,結束性のあるパラグラフを目指して
Weeding the Garden
The most frustrating job I am assigned at home is weeding the
garden. To start with, I have no interest in gardening, so I take no
pleasure in planting flowers, keeping the flower beds neat, or even
just being in the garden to look at the plants. In addition, weeds
grow wildly in the most unpleasant time of the year for human beings.
After squatting in the dirt pulling weeds under the scorching sun for
an hour, I come into the house sunburned, soiled, and drenched with
sweat. If I wait until the temperature cools down, I am attacked by
another menace: mosquitoes. These tiny bugs feast on me while I
weed, and afterwards, make hot, humid summer nights even more
intolerable with itchy, irritating spots all over my body. Some that
find a way into the house attack me while I sleep. I certainly prefer
any other domestic duty to weeding the garden.
Some that find a way . . . で始まる文が余分だということが,もうおわかりでしょう。
この文が伝える内容は,すぐ前の文には大いに関係していますが(両方とも蚊について
のことなので)
, Main Ideaとの関連性は希薄です。夜間,蚊に悩まされることは,草む
しりのつらさとはまったく関係がないからです。直接 Main Idea を支持しているとは,
到底言えません。これも脱線の例です。
Outline を作成するときも注意が必要ですが,特に Support を書いているとき,上の
3 つの例のような脱線をしないよう,注意を払わなくてはなりません。それを避けるた
めには,書いている間,常に Main Idea を念頭に置き,それと直接関係あることのみを
書くように心がけることです。関連性の薄いことは除外できるよう, Unity のチェック
を行ってください。 Topic Sentence が述べる Main Idea が,指針の働きをし,書くべき
内容と,書くべきでない内容を選別すると Unit 4 にありましたが, Unity の観点から考
えると,このことがよく理解できるのではないでしょうか。
この課のExercisesでは, Unityに問題がある個所を見つける練習を行った後で, Unity
に気を配って新しい Paragraph を書くのに挑戦します。
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EXERCISE
1
Read the following paragraph and cross out the sentences that don’t belong.
Living Near a Train Station
An important factor in selecting a house in Tokyo is its proximity to a train
station. Since trains are the most convenient and the most dependable means of
transportation in Tokyo, many of your family members, if not all, will have to
walk back and forth between the house and a station every day. Needless to say,
the shorter the distance, the less time and energy you need to spend. However,
riding a bicycle to the station can save you some time and energy. Moreover,
banks, stores, public facilities, and cultural places are usually located near a
station. So even when you are not commuting, you still find yourself going to
and fro between your house and a station. Walking a long distance is an easy,
healthy way to burn calories. Unless you intend to get good exercise from
walking, you are much better off living near a station.
EXERCISE
2
Do the same for the following paragraph.
Housecleaning with a Smile
Probably most people regard housecleaning as drudgery, but there are some
aspects of it that are actually appealing. It is gratifying to restore order out of
chaos. Returning things to their rightful places is the perfect way to get
organized and feel in control. There are also side benefits to cleaning house.
Clearing away the mess opens up valuable space and makes life less cluttered.
Unit 7 ➤ Unity
51
Aspects of a Good Paragraph
統一性,結束性のあるパラグラフを目指して
Cleansers and detergents leave a lingering scent of freshness throughout the
house. But we have to avoid using harsh chemicals that might prove to be
detrimental to the environment or worse, to our own health. We can even be
creative in the process of housecleaning. It is a good chance to rearrange the
furniture or experiment with new and interesting ways to place items so as to
make life more comfortable or more convenient. Japanese homes are generally
small by Western standards, so space is limited to exercise your creativity.
Finally, setting small manageable goals and attaining them one by one gives a
marvelous sense of accomplishment. Clean one room at a time, one corner at a
time, one surface at a time. Looking at housework from these perspectives can
make it less of a chore and more of a fulfilling project.
EXERCISE
3
Do the same for the following paragraph.
The Year-End Crunch
As the year draws to a close, it seems to become more and more difficult to
stay healthy. With the advent of winter, atmospheric temperatures drop. The
resulting cold weather weakens the body’s overall condition and leads to lower
resistance against disease. Unfortunately, just when the body’s natural defenses
are at their lowest, the prevalence of bacteria and viruses in the air seems to be
at a peak. This increases the likelihood of catching a common cold, a sinus
infection, or even worse, a bad case of the flu. However, the use of humidifiers
makes breathing easier by replenishing the supply of moisture in the air. To add
to the problem, the end of the year coincides with holiday seasons around the
world. Each celebration brings its own pressures of busier schedules due to
extra preparations and special events, coupled with heightened emotional
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stress. People of all faiths and nationalities embrace Christmas for the fun and
festivities it offers. All these factors working together can wear down even a
strong physical constitution and compromise one’s health at year-end.
EXERCISE
4
Write a paragraph on a topic of your own choosing related to the general subject of
“school.” Start from brainstorming, make an outline, develop a good paragraph,
and pay special attention to unity.
Unit 7 ➤ Unity
53
Aspects of a Good Paragraph
統一性,結束性のあるパラグラフを目指して
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